Is your son too old to go with you to the girls bathroom?

Richele - posted on 05/27/2010

My opinion is once he is 5 he is too old to be in the girls bathroom, most places have a family bathroom a mom should take her son there until he is old enough to go into the mens bathroom alone.

Denise - posted on 05/27/2010

Our YMCA has a an 5 year old limit in the womens room. They also have a Family Changing Room for just that situation as well.

Erin - posted on 05/27/2010

I am a female teacher with a 7 (about to be 8) year old son. I take him with me when I go to the restroom only if no other adult is with us. I will NEVER risk his safety for the sake of privacy. However, he is not allowed to stand within eye shot of anyone other then me. Meaning, he is in the stall with me looking at the inside of my stall door. He is not even allowed to bend over or read what is written on the walls. I do not want him looking into other stalls.
Girls need to stop looking into stalls at people too. It has happened to me a lot. I started taking napkins in with me and hanging them to cover the space on the sides of the door.
As far as him using the restroom, he is not allowed in the restroom with out his father or me. We go in the stall with him as well to make sure he’s not being messy, touching, reading or looking at nasty things. You may think I am too strict. I want him to be safe and to stay innocent as long as possible. I will continue to take him with me until I feel it is safe for him to stand out side the restroom. That is still a very long time from now.

April - posted on 05/27/2010

I think it a good idea to let boys go in with there mothers. If My dad is not witm my 7 year old goes in the bathroom with me no matter were we are. I love my kids to much to let some one take advantage of or hurt them. My son will go in a stall by himself and if i have to go i amright beside him in the next one. If the stall is nasty he will use the next one or wait until i am finished. He understands why i do that. Some peolpe might not like but oh well i am protecting my kids. There are to many weridos out there theses days. You cant trust anyone.

Karol - posted on 05/27/2010

I totally agree. My son is only 4 and a half but I have no problem with seeing boys of 7, 8 or 9 using the ladies rooms with their Moms. There is too much happening today just to take chances by letting them go alone to the gents rooms unless their dads can go with them.

Christine - posted on 05/27/2010

Sorry to hear that you are "gettin tired" of this. I just recently went to a seminar on pedophiles and child molesters and was informed that the men's bathroom is a place where they hang out. Mom's do need to control their children while in the bathroom, but protecting your child is perfectly acceptable.

Tatjana - posted on 05/27/2010

My son is 8 years old and is scared to go into the men's bathroom by himself. If we are in an airport or another public place that I am unsure about, he comes in the ladies room with me. At church, he can go by himself, but he will only go if there are not too many men in there, and he is still nervous. I think only little boys peek under the doors. My son just wants to get in and out, but feel safe. The safety of my child is my priority.

Kate - posted on 05/27/2010

How naive are you? paedophiles are everywhere, they don't just hang out in dirty, public places! They are just as likely to be in a 'nice restaurant' My son is 7 and although he protests, if there is no disabled toilet then he comes in with me. He wouldn't dream of peeking on anyone but i would rather that than have someone peeking at him in the mens!

Melissa - posted on 05/27/2010

I have a 10 year old son, and if I'm gonna use the bathroom, and I'm alone with him, I will bring him in with me. He will go into the stall with me, I will not let him out of the stall. If he has to use the bathroom, I will send him in the men's bathroom while I'm standing outside by the door. I feel that it's okay for him to go in with me as long as he is in the stall with me and not standing outside of it.

Mindy - posted on 05/27/2010

The last response was for Kristi Fleischman above

Mindy - posted on 05/27/2010

They have breast feeding blankets ya know. It shouldn't matter where you feed your baby. If you are covered than why would it matter even if a 9 yr old boy was in the restroom. (They probably have already seen breast from their own mother if something showed anyway) Lets see if you change your mind once you have a boy or when your little girl is 7 and only her dad, uncle or what ever, is the only one with her. I guess he should just leave her out in the hall to get kidanpped. So you would be ok with that? What if he sent her into the girls restroom and waited for her and some pervert was in there he didn't know about? Is that ok with you? Oh right you will just leave her at home and not take her in public....I'm sure she will not have any problems because of that not to mention I guess you will never get anything done with out a babysitter & who knows if you could even trust them!

Taj - posted on 05/27/2010

I have a 7 and 9 year old boy. Depending on where we are at I will still take them with me into the ladies room. If there is a small self-contained men's room I will send them in there. However if it is a large, public venue with a lot of traffic, such as a sports arena, there's no way I'm sending them in alone! The issue for me is completely one of safety. They are obviously capable of going to the restroom without help. They are not capable of handling a predator if one approaches them.

My children don't peek at anyone or pee on the seats, in fact the seats are up when they pee. The reality is that the world is not always safe and I could not care less what anyone else thinks about my decision of what is a safe age for them to use the men's room exclusively. Until I'm comfortable with it I'll continue to bring them into the women's room.

Shari - posted on 05/27/2010

The only time my son will come with me into the ladies room is if I'm alone with the kids. Most times the places we go have a single bathroom for families so we'll use that one or I'll let him go in there alone because it's a single bathroom like at home and I'm right at the door so nobody else is going to get in there. Other than that he goes with daddy. However, if my son comes in with me, he stands and faces the wall where the toilet paper isn't on and waits for me to be done, this way he isn't looking at me or anyone else.

Casey - posted on 05/27/2010

i will be bring my boy in to the toliet with me at that age there is no way he will be going to the male toliet by himself. How knows how is in there waiting for a young boy to come in by himself

Pollyanna - posted on 05/27/2010

I have a 9yr old Son, and i've only just starting letting him go into the mens by himself and only in public toilets that we have been to before. Unfortunately you never know who might be lurking around in the mens, so unless my husband is with us to take him from time to time I will take him into the toilets with me, I don't see anything wrong with it. Better to be safe than sorry.

Christy - posted on 05/27/2010

this is a silly topic, I'm a mom of a 10 yr old son and a 5 yr old daughter. I started letting my son go in the mens room alone a couple of years ago, when I knew he was old and mature enough to handle himself I stand outside the door and he knows the rules. He was never allowed to act inapproriately in the womens restroom and quite frankly I have never seen a small child act the way you are describing in the restroom when they are accompanied by correct supervision. Kids are a gift to us and we have to as parents take all precautions in our power to take care of them and give them independence at the same time I think this is a parents choice and I have no problem seeing older children in the womens restroom if that is what their parent has deemed necessary for THEIR child.

Michelle - posted on 05/27/2010

My 7 yr. old is scared to go into the mens room by himself. I try to encourage it but realize that if I force the issue we could have more problems down the line. Mind you he is 7 yrs. old but he also has some learning difficulties. You have to keep in mind when parents are bringing their 7,8, or 9 yr old boys into the womens room that there might be a reason behind it. If you are uncomfortable then just wait for them to leave the room before doing what you went in there to do.

Brenda - posted on 05/27/2010

My boys are now 11 and 7 and they do go to the men's restroom, but I send them together. I left it up to them when to start using the men's room by themselves. Of course the younger is much more adventurous than the older was because he has big brother to go with him. My 11 year old was about 7 when he started going by himself and the younger was about 5 and I stand outside the door; even now. I also feel that it is up to the parents, the safety of the location, ability of the child ect. of when to send your child into a sex specific restroom. Common sense should always rule. I've always taught my children that if there is someone in the restroom that makes them uncomfortable, then to come back out and get me or yell and I'll be right in. I did have to go into the men's room at the airport one time and boy was the old boy in there surprised to see me. I'm not sure what he was doing in there just leaning against the wall, but I leaned right there with him and waited for my boys. He asked me what I thought I was doing in there and I asked him why he was just in there leaning against the wall being creepy and he left. I think the pee laps, peeking and other antics have a lot to do with upbringing and a lack of the parents teaching manners at home. My boys know restrooms are not play grounds, if you have a misfire you clean it up, always flush, wash your hands on both sides with soap, water and dry well.

Theresa - posted on 05/27/2010

I take my son into the ladies room with me unless my husband is with us and he go into the mens room with him. I have heard too many horror stories involving boys alone in mens rooms and I'm not taking any chances with my child.

Kari - posted on 05/27/2010

I don't bring my 6 or 8 YO sons in the ladies room. I usually don't have to visit a restroom while we're out (something about public potties makes the urge to go just not there, kwim?)but my boys do. I stand right outside the men's room door & if I think they've been in there too long, I'll open the door & start calling their names.

Christal - posted on 05/27/2010

Well, until public restrooms come up with an alternative, you will just have to deal with it. I would much rather a little girl have to wait to pee than have a little boy go into a mens room by himself and not know who or what type of preditor might be lurking.

Guy - posted on 05/27/2010

Me either, I don't have problems seeing little boys in the ladies room. I think as parents we should consider our kids safety before anything else. But as parents we should also teach our little boys to behave inside the ladies room so as not to annoy the ladies specially the teenagers. Let us just constantly remind them...........

Kathleen - posted on 05/27/2010

Are the dad's taking thier 9 yr. old girls into the mens' room?If the girls are with thier dad...how else will they go to the bathroom?? They go into the womens by them selves, of course. At 9,a girl in the men's room .. I'm not sure that would be appropriate..I don't think anyone should send kids away into any busy place alone, but to let your child go to the bathroom by them selves at 9, if you are waiting outside, in my opinion, is fine.

Betty Ann - posted on 05/27/2010

It of course depends on where I am, but I had my son going to the bathroom in the ladies room until he went to school. Then after that , I would stand outside the men's room waiting for him, and if he seemed to be in there longer than I though he should be, I would go in after him.
That being said, the behavior of the children that you are discussing has much more to do with the parents than with the child. If the boy is doing "pee laps" around the toliet seat, that is something that the parent needs to stop and deal with. His bathroom habits at home must be just as bad. But the privacy issue of them looking into the stalls is just plain RUDE. And again, that must be dealt with my the parents.
I understand that the girls don't want to go into the ladies room while there are boys in there, but I also know that I wouldn't want my son standing alone in a store while I was in the bathroom. My son is almost 8 and I would never leave him alone in the middle of a department store so I could go to the bathroom.

Kim - posted on 05/27/2010

Kristi--Its not a matter of trusting our kids its a matter of their safety!! I'm sure when your child gets older you will let her sit outside the restrooms(Men's room too) while you use the ladies room right? Unattended in a public place. And why do you need to strip down to nurse your child? I have nursed in many public places and no one knows I am nursing. And family bathrooms are for families to use the bathroom, maybe someone else was taking up that bathroom nursing their child so the parents had to take their kids into the Ladies room with them.

Guy - posted on 05/27/2010

Just tell there moms. So that they know that it's not right to peek.

Cynthia - posted on 05/27/2010

I have no problem with a boy in the ladies room if the father is present (not just because he doesn't want to take him) and there is not a family restroom and the parent cleans up behind him. Ladies rooms have stalls so noone should be exposed.I am uncomfortable with moms who strip their kids down bare at pools, beaches and other public places, as well as bring their boys into girls changing room. At our pool their are only 3 bathroom stalls and 4 showers. Over 20 girls have to get showered and changed. I am frequently surprised at swimming lessons by boys ranging from toddler age up 9 or 10 in the changing room. It became such a problem that they posted a sign at the school pool not to bring them in. Maybe I am a prude but I grew up with 4 brothers and can't recall ever watching them change.

Angela - posted on 05/27/2010

My son is 5 and he still goes in with me even know he hates it. Basically what it comes down to is the world is a scary place and you can't feel safe any more. Like I see people saying, we are all worried about perverts. If my husband is with us he goes with him but other wise it's with mom. I don't care how uncomforatble it makes people feel, my son comes first. I would never be able to live with myself if something were to happen to him because I was worried other women were uncomfortable. Do you let your girls go to the bathroom by themselves?

Kathleen - posted on 05/27/2010

My son stopped going into the womens bathroom this yr. I wait outside the mens, while he goes in, then he waits outside the womens while I go inside..He is 9, going to be 10, and I hate to say it, but not a toddler anymore, and there are things in the womens bathroom he shouldn't see, and little girls that don't feel comfortable w/ him in there

Crystal - posted on 05/27/2010

Kristi-my suggestion to you is buy a breast pump and pump before you take your baby into public so you can have a bottle ready if you don't feel comfortable exposing your breast or they even sell blankets that go around your neck and velcro and cover all the way to your waist so that your breast and baby are covered. If your not able to buy one of those use another blanket...Perhaps if your daughter had been a son you would feel differently about it...try not to judge other moms that are just trying to protect their kids to the best of their ability...

LaShawndra - posted on 05/27/2010

I take my 7 yr old in the restroom with me, due to the fact that I don't trust people. You hear to many stories about what happens to kids feet away from their parents. If you have a promblem with it, then I hink it's truly something wrong with you. As far as the ones peeking at little girls then maybe you should say something to the mother. I will continue to take my son in the restroom with me until I'm comfortable with him going alone.

Elisha - posted on 05/27/2010

It all depends on if Dad is there or not. If Dad is there - then yes the boys should go into the men's bathroom. If Dad isn't there - then they should be going with Mom. In today's world it is to big of a risk to allow kids at this age to go into a bathroom by themselves. There are to many "sick people" that prey on kids! When we go places and my husband isn't around Yes I make my 8 yr old son go into the women's bathroom with me - to many things can happen within 5 seconds. I am not willing to allow my child's safety to be put at risk! As far as them looking under other stalls and etc - that is a parent issue that needs to be dealt with!

Laurie - posted on 05/27/2010

Well since I have a 7 yr son if it is necessary for me to take him to the ladies room I do, especially if I am in a crowed place. What I have started doing only if it is not crowed in the mens room is let him go by himself and I stand with the door half opened. Children are to be watched with all the molesters in this world, so if it makes people upset to bad get over it.

Sophie - posted on 05/27/2010

Do you really care if a 6 year old "peeks" at you? They're 6!!! There are doors!!! There are no more paedophiles now than there ever were, but it is just good policy to keep an eye on your kids. Things can happen. Why would you put a child who can't make decisions about basic life issues in a situation where they may have to make a decision that could save their life. Get over it. Let boys into the womens with their mothers and girls into the mens with their fathers. Kids should stay near their parents for as long as the parents feel they need to.

Ann - posted on 05/26/2010

Good for you Mom's who will bring their children in regardless of other peoples comfort level. It is better for your children to be safe than for someone to feel "comfortable". I'm not sure I would even let my son (if I had one) go in alone if I was standing outside of the door. I've heard too many horror stories about molesters laying in wait for children to come in alone. Until they are old enough to put up a good fight, I'd be bringing them into the ladies room. The rest of us need to learn to be more understanding of our fellow human beings. I would just hate to hear about someone letting their child go into a mens room alone because they were harassed previously when taking them into a womens room and because of their concern for others comfort, their child was hurt, or worse murdered. Protecting our children is our number one responsibility.

Julanne - posted on 05/26/2010

I don't think it is a problem if I bring my son into the bathroom with me- he is 9. I guide him directly into a stall and make sure he is behaving in an appropriate manner (not looking under stalls etc- I wouldn't want my daughter to do that either). The world is not safe for children like it used to be. If I am in a public place and the bathrooms are huge, I am not going to let my son go in alone no matter what. If someone has a problem with that then I feel they can wait until we leave. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Jamie - posted on 05/26/2010

I feel like I still see too many news articles about sex offenders waiting in public restrooms for unattended childrent to become their next victim. My son is 5 & 1/2 and if we are out and about and he needs a restroom then it's your problem if you are offended. My son is not going to be anyone's victim. I will continue taking him with me as long as I feel it is appropriate and he may still be 7,8,9 etc years old. Of course, if my husband is out with us, he will take him into the men's room.

Jamese - posted on 05/26/2010

I don't think it's the age of the child that's the determining factor, it's the parenting. The parent that brings him in there shouldn't be allowing her son a free peep show. My son went to the ladies bathroom with me until he was about eight. We always went in the first available stall and came right out. I keep hand sanitizer in my purse to he didn't even have to wash his hands until we got home. People just need to have control of their children.

Wendy - posted on 05/26/2010

As a divorced mother with full custody of my two sons (ages 6 and 11), I absolutely try to take my 6-year old son in with me if my 11 year-old is not there to take him in with him. My son is well-behaved in the ladies room, not wanting to be there at all, but I am not going to leave a young child alone in either the men's room or the store if I have to go to the bathroom. There are sick child molesters in the world and I'm not going to hand them my son on a platter by leaving them alone. If an older boy is misbehaving, then I certainly think that you have the right to tell him to behave or get out if his own mother isn't.

Pam - posted on 05/26/2010

Yes, I think thats to old. I stopped doing that when he learned the signs on the doors. I just take him to where the bathrooms are and he knows which door to go through. I think I stopped doing that when he was 4 or 5 and he's 9 now. Yes, I think it's an issue. If the child knows the signs on the doors then why take him to the womens bathroom? As long as you show the boy which door to go to there should be no issue. The kid is old enough to go to the bathroom by himself plus it shows the boy independance that he's a big boy and he doesn't always need mommies help to go potty. Women just have to stop doing what there doing and go with there sons show them where the bathrooms are and wait for them to get done going potty.

Kim - posted on 05/26/2010

I think at ages 8 & 9 boys should be going into the mens room (uness there is a disability of some sort). And I totally agree with the mom that stands right outside and waits, and willl ask questions if it is taking longer than expected. I have girls but if I had a son I would stand right outside the door and wait. My oldest daughter is now 5 and I am not thrilled about her going into a mens room with my husband if I am not there to take her to the restroom, especially since most have the urinals out in the open. I will soon ask my husband to stand outside the ladies room and wait for her. :-)

Jennifer - posted on 05/26/2010

I have two boys that are 5 and 8. If my boys are together, they go in the men's room. My 5 year old was way more curious about my body and the way I go to the bathroom much earlier then my older child. He still however comes to the bathroom with me if he's by himself. I'm not comfortable with my older son being in the bathroom with me. He also won't come in the bathroom with me anyway. So I wait outside when he's in the men's room. I also try to find the family bathroom (if there is one) so they boys are in there alone.

Tiffany - posted on 05/26/2010

My feeling is your comfort level is of no concern to me. If you don't like my son in the bathroom with me then you need to go before you leave home. My son will not be a headline so you are comfortable, I live in a very busy city and spend alot of time with my son while my husband works. Can you imagine the pain a parent would have if something happened just because some people would be uncomfortable?

Andrea - posted on 05/26/2010

I have a seven year old son. I will let him go to the men's restroom if it is clear and I stand at the door. I have also had my 4 year old daughter run into the men's restroom and in a stall. I just went in and stood outside the stall. Luckily it was a child's play center and the men that did come in were bringing there children. No one said anything and I had no problem going in. If it is just me with my son and he has to use the bathroom I will clear the men's room or escort him to the ladies room. I will just hold it if there is no family room. I refuse to trust anyone nowadays.

Mary - posted on 05/26/2010

I'm sorry you feel that way! My two boys 6&7 still go in womans bathroom with me. I do not trust my little boys alone in the bathroom with strange men I don't know, there are a lot of weirdos out there. My friends son at 6 was raped by an older man hiding in the bathroom. If you see little boys peeking, they mean no harm! But you have every right to ask them to stop if you see it! I would not be offended if someone asked my boys to stop, it would be a great time time explain why it's not okay and how they make people feel uncomfortable. Hope this might open your eyes as to why the boys stick with mom!

Sherri - posted on 05/26/2010

Not attacking her for her opinion I am attacking her for telling me to leave my sons outside the bathroom or not to take them in public if they can't be trusted.

Christna - posted on 05/26/2010

I have 8 and 9 year old son I still take them in with me if there is not adult male with us. I hear to many stories and if there is a door in the men restroom how easy would that be to trap it closed from the inside. I always tell my boys to look at the wall and not move and that is what they do. I have never had a problem with them looking in other peoples stalls. If I can see there feet they are good.

Sherri - posted on 05/26/2010

Kristi it has nothing to do with not trusting the children it has to do with not trusting the adults. Sorry will not be leaving my children unattended they will be with me if that makes you uncomfortable maybe you shouldn't go in public until your baby isn't nursing anymore.

Brenda - posted on 05/26/2010

I do believe in protecting your children and I believe everyone has a right to their own opinion. Sherri you should not be attacking other peoples opinions.

As a parent you know your children better than anyone else so make your own judgement call as to whether or not you as a parent feel safe. I let my kids be independent.

Deanna - posted on 05/26/2010

i had so many comments come to mind when this first came through my email but I see that so many have already said what I was going to. But I think you should take a step back and think about sending your little girl into a bathroom full of men that you don't know and see how you feel about it. Yes she is a little girl but there are just as many men who would prefer a boy. My son is 7 and he does go into the bathroom with me but he is very respectful, and I care about his safety.

On another note: I like the whistling idea we will have to try that when I feel it's time for him to go into the bathroom alone.