Ive tried everything my 5yr old wont stop pooping in his pants help?

Charlotte - posted on 10/21/2009 ( 53 moms have responded )

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?No matter what we do he continues to poop and he does poop on potty too sometimes and is proud of himself. tonight we made him clean his dirty underware and he told us im tired of cleaning my dirty pants we said so r we. what to do

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Patricia - posted on 09/30/2013

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Ok so some of these situations are similar but not completely my so is 4 years old and very smart he has went for so long on the potty bowel movements and peeing now all of a sudden he started pooping his pants but its not like they are full BM's there's only a lil bit each time but it happens atleast 12 times a day its like hes letting the amount of poop out he wants to let out at each time, I am very certain he knows better and he is controlling this problem because he will go hide everytime he does it all we were doing for awhile was cleaning the little bit on his butt up and having to change his pants 12 times a day and now its getting to the point were he is even acting like " Hey I pooped I need cleaned up " and when I try telling him Harlan were gonna have to start putting you I a diaper again he acts like a smart alec about it and thinks its funny sometimes too so im afraid he'll never stop because there are o repercussion for his actions that he is controlling even if I try to catch him right before he does it he will sit on that toilet so long ill just give up because he holds it in soon as I put him on the toilet he will not go even when I see him struggling to hold it in he just says "I don't have to go" it so frustrating we no lie have a pile of dirty pants and full trash can at the end of everyday cause he wont stop he has the worst of worst rashes to because of that tiny bit of poop being there and having to wipe him ten times a day I cant imagine how uncomfortable that has to be for him to having a constant rash o top of everything else but I cant keep cream on long enough to even do anything for that rash cause he poops again to quick ITS ALL TOO MUCH like I can never send him anywhere by himself cause we wouldn't be there to clean him up every time im thinking about having him drink prune juice or something every morning so that he'll have to poop a full bowel movemet instead of these lil ones spread out threw the day

Tyler - posted on 08/10/2013

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Not much help here. Seems like a bunch of people venting. If anyone figures out how to stop a kid from pooping after he already was potty trained. Let me know.

[deleted account]

For those still looking for a solution; I posted here in May and we have now overcome the problem we had back then. First I checked all the other possible causes, constipation, encopresis and all the rest as some have stated here. There was nothing wrong with her except I think a 'laziness' or pre-occupation with whatever she was doing. Finally we started two things; a rewards system and a punishment system. When she went a whole day without pooping in her pants she received a sticker on her star chart. When she pooped in her pants she had to help me clean them which she found repulsive obviously. It worked! Within about three weeks she had stopped doing full poops and only had the odd accident and now she is clean every day.



Some might say I was harsh for making her help clean her knickers but it really made her start co-operating and not being lazy. I think the key is to eliminate all other possible causes first though. Good luck to you all!

Sandra - posted on 11/09/2013

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my grandson who just turned 5 still poops himself in school he dose he sits there and dose it he go and hide then come back i say u pooped again he starts to grin to me he seam a little lazy and hes on movical to help him and im trying everything i can now to get him on toilet rewards stickers done all that now i read on here to try and make him clean his own pants never tryed that trick but im gonna give it ago his teatcher sends a book home now to let me no how hes doing the other day 4 times in one day in school ive tryed to talk to him he just grins wat am i suppose to do help all i say at the end of my teather with it im working so hard hes got bowel trouble and doctor just say up the movical i do but he dose struggle but not enough help please

Rhonda - posted on 10/22/2009

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I had the same problem with my little boy...asked the dr about it, he said some kids just develop a lot later. But, my husband and I decided to do an "award" for every day he kept clean, we gave him a quarter. For every day he pooped in his pants, he had to give us a quarter back. At the end of the month, whatever was left in his little "reward cup" got to go into his piggy bank. We did this for a few months, and no problems since. I do wish you the best of luck, though...I know it gets VERY frustrating!!!!!

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Cathy - posted on 03/02/2014

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http://www.aboutincontinence.org/site/wh... Read this. Often they need cleaning out! They are FOS (full of ****) and have so much inside they keep going often, just not completely eliminating all, and the key is diet (fruits, vegetables, fiber---not found in hotdogs and chicken strips and mac n cheese which is what some kids live on), regular visits to the pot, and lots of fluids. Incontinence such as bedwetting often also improves or disappears after the constipation is taken care of. I don't agree with the 'too early potty trained' part of this. I think most kids nowadays are not trained early enough, but allowed to linger in infancy by wetting and pooping in their pullups and so have spent more of their lives by age 5 or 6 in diapers than out of them, so reverting back is easy.

Dannielle - posted on 02/26/2014

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Hi everyone..I need help my 5 almost 6 year old will no stop weeing or pooing in his pants. I have literally tried everything but it makes no difference...he mainly only poos in his pants but when he is intrigued in something he will wee he also wees the bed every night and hides poo in his bed room..I honestly don't know what else to do...I have to ttell him all the time to go the toilet and when I ask him if hes had an accident he checks and says he didn't no he had done it...what more can I do x

Ken - posted on 02/17/2014

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A relapse from potty training, in certain cases is normal. The important thing to understand is to not treat it with any special attention. By "special attention" I mean to not react to it emotionally at all. Treat it as a non-event and as little attention as possible. Blandly inform the child they must clean themselves and then walk away. Do not give him or her any more of your attention except to say that you find self-defecation disgusting and don't want to be around people that do that sort of thing. You'll talk to him/her when he/she's cleaned themselves up. In contrast, when the child exhibits proper potty behavior be sure to attend to that with rewards (stickers have been mentioned in previous comments and I think they're great) and a little extra attention to the little one. Note how much you love them, but you especially like being around them when they are clean and appropriate. Since the majority of what children do is for our attention (negative or positive doesn't matter...attention is seen as inherent approval of their action...it's how they can be heard and where they have power), then the addition of or removal of said attention becomes the power point for the parent. Just my thoughts...Father of two boys (5 and 2 respectively) and preschool teacher for six years.

Kerry - posted on 11/28/2013

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In my experience, children who have been successfully potty trained and then relapse later, as many people in this thread have experienced, a common cause is that the child does not want to break away from whatever activity they're involved in and procrastinate until the BM is beginning, on it's own, then they either make a dash to the potty, resulting in slightly soiling their underwear or they don't make it at all.

At home I would insist that they sit on the toilet 1/2 hour after eating a meal and for school I'd ask if the teacher could see that the child visits the restroom when recess begins. It would probably be a good idea to keep a daily log of meals and accidents, in order to get a good idea just what the pattern is.

Sarah - posted on 09/10/2013

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I'm not sure my comment went through. We had the same problem. We ended up watching our son like a hawk. Whenever we saw the signs (red face, straining, he took off to hide in a private place), we grabbed him and put him on the toilet.

He got lots of praise and applause when he finished pooping there. IT seemed to work!

Sarah - posted on 09/10/2013

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My son was the same way. So we made a point of watching him like a hawk. When he looked like he was starting to poop (red face, tries to hide) we grabbed him and put him on the toilet.

And when he pooped in the toilet we gave him lots of kudos and applause. It eventually worked!

Stephanie - posted on 09/09/2013

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Hello loving grandparents.
My advice to you is to reach out to Doctor Daum....www.doctordaum.com
We worked with him, over the phone. Trained doctor who has been working with children like yours for a long time. You can talk to them and they will explain the program. But basically, your granson needs a 'clean-out' and then to use laxatives to maintain a regular BM every day. I think you will find his approach very helpful. Let me know and fingers crossed.
Steph

James - posted on 09/05/2013

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we are 65 year old great grand parents that adopted a 5 year old great grand child . our son has got a problem with still pooping his pants. we try to talk to him about the problem , but he wont tell us anything.he is in day care and K5. we have tried talking ,bribing and taking toys away ,nothing is working. we are at our wits end.he even pooped his pants sitting in my lap and then we got him cleaned up to give him a bath . while in bath he had to poop he got on the commode and pooped.what do we do?

Judy - posted on 08/11/2013

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Maybe he has a stomach issue or something making him do it. Has he seen. A doctor?

Rebecca - posted on 10/23/2012

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Stephanie, thank you for sharing the food sensitivities aspect of this issue. We have eliminated juices, high fructose corn syrup with some success but it was not until we did the initial elimination phase of the low FODMAP diet and avoided many trigger foods that we found relief for our 7 year old son. This is a diet for adults with irritable bowel syndrome. It is so effective our son is even avoiding halloween candy, etc. we did lactose intolerance testing...the sugars caused diarrhea for him, so he is just sensitive to lactose. We saw a gi doc to rule out major diseases. It was a dietician who helped fine tune this diet for us. The most major change is reducing gluten but we have to watch the substitutes like soy and fave beans.



Good luck all!

Lora - posted on 10/15/2012

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I'm so in the same boat. My five year old almost 6 is still pooping in him pants and its mostly in him kindergarden class at school. I took toys away and other things and he still does it. Went to the doctor and he says he's on a low level of ADHD, so I have a appointment in December for a full testing to be done. It went so far as the school calling me and tell me that I have to come and clean him up and send him back to class. So know I'm waiting to go to the doctor for the full testing of ADHD.

Judy - posted on 10/13/2012

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I had this problem with my daughter but she finally stopped on her own before too long, but now I have this problem with my youngest son and he is way more stubborn than she is. We finally had him peeing in the toilet but he keeps pooping in his pants. We went back to pull-ups because we were tired of poopy underwear but now he's peeing in the pull-ups again. We did naked baby potty training for the peeing but with the poop he will just hold it in and it gets all over his bottom and all over the chair or wherever he is. We have been successful at getting him to go in the toilet a few times but he refuses to just go poop on the toilet. We are so at the end of our ropes right now. I was thinking of taking him to the doctor but my husband says there's nothing physically wrong with him, he's just stubborn. I think I will try the 15 minutes after eating with a DS. He is obsessed with my older son's DS but he doesn't normally get to play it (not sure he'll be thrilled about lending it for potty training though). Any other suggestions?

Michael - posted on 10/12/2012

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hi we have a 5 year old son and this has been going on for 2 years... the best thing to do is to stay chill out and dont blame the children. or your open up a new can of worms... we are now going though this!!!... as we did not know how to deal with it.. ok 1st get them to the doc to get to see if there have any hard dry poo trap in the tubes... like our.. the poo then build up and get push around the dry stuff so come out, with out the kids knowing its happen..

now the fun bit!!!! we have just starting the flush out way..... let just say he has to sleep on black bags.. not nice!!!!

kid hide away and poo sometime bec there scared and embarrass.. try putting your self in your kids shoes... im getting bad thing happen to me when i poo in pants... so i will just hide and do it else where...try not to get upset and just say on well we will try get it in the toilet next time...



we play feed the fish game in the toilet.. now my son think he feed the fish in the sea each time he try to go on the toilet...



if your going to talk about your kids toilet problem or next plan of attack.. don't take in front of them... there very clever and will put a stop to any plan before you start.. good luck and keep your head up..

2 year and counting

mike

Indiana - posted on 10/08/2012

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my four old daughter is fully toilet trained and is continuely pooing in her underwear we have tryed everything...Can any 1 help me ??? i'm tired of cleaning her underwear she is just to lazy...any1 help

Stephanie - posted on 07/11/2012

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the last thing i would do is make him clean it :( thats not really his fault , mayby tell the doc or try to explain to him or tell him you will put a wee boys nappie on him till he learns to be a big boy to where big boy pants keep trying diffrent things till he learns but cleaning poo isnt somthing a chld should be doing as if it touches the eye it can make him blind
hope this helps

Stephanie - posted on 07/04/2012

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My daughter Sarah has suffered with chronic constipation since she was 4 and she turned 8 back in March. I would be a rich person if I wasn't constantly buying new undies, doing laundry and paying for doctors visits, only to be told to give her more water, fiber and laxatives.

In January, I took matters into my own hands and realized that doctors weren't addressing the cause, but rather giving us a temporary fix...a band aid if you will, for her intestines. LOL

We started giving her daily chewable probiotics and reduced her gluten intake and it seems we have FINALLY found the solution. I started a blog "Backed Up Like Rush Hour Traffic" found at www.momsguidetoencopresis.com as a resource for other mothers who are looking for causes and possible solutions aside from what the doctor's recommend.

My daughter is not gluten intolerant (meaning she can't tolerate wheat at all) but rather she is just gluten sensitive. We cut back the gluten in her diet and it has done wonders for her.

I'm not selling anything on my site, but just wanted to offer support and information for other moms who like me are searching for answers. Just know you are not alone. I've had moms contact me from all over the globe, just recently I heard from a mom in new Zealand!

Yelling at your kids for something beyond their control, ignoring them and making them feel bad about something beyond their control (this is a physical issue that is transitioning to a psycological one) is only going to compound the problem. Our kids look to us for love support and guidance, we can't berate them or belittle them for something that is biological. We are the adults and we need to act like loving, supportive parents. Always remember that!

Keep up hope and good luck to you and your kids,

Stephanie

[deleted account]

I am at wits end! My four year old daughter who has been so reliable since 2 and a half has started this regularly. The doctor said she wasn't constipated so I don't think it's encopresis especially given that it began as little accidents and now is full bowel movements each time not little leaks. My husband thinks it is naughty/lazy behaviour and punishes her. I am not so sure but she says she can feel it. She doesn't tell me when she has done it and I usually don't find out until I smell her. I really don't want her to be still doing it when she goes to school. I have two other children under three so I am sick of cleaning up poop! I don't know what has caused this regression, she was so good for over a year and we haven't had any major changes in the last 6 months.
How did the chiropractor help? I am running out of options... (Have tried ignoring, talking nicely, yelling, getting her to clean up her own mess, no treats, etc)

Karien - posted on 03/24/2012

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I'm so glad I'm not the only one in this situation. My son is 4 1/2 and soils his brief every day. He does this only at home. He refuses to use the toilet. we've taken him to the doctor who suggested medication which makes it even worst. I wish it can just go away!

Carmel - posted on 03/22/2012

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True. I saw a very sad story a few years ago about a 17 year old girl who had this condition where she didn't know when she had to poop. Her mum got sick of cleaning her up so it was left to her siblings to do it when she had accidents at school. The other kids, especially boys, teased her unmercifully and the teachers used to get angry with her. She would be in her mid 20s now. She and her parents tried just about everything and I believe her doctor was considering if she should have a colostomy done because even enemas weren't working. She despaired of ever having a boyfriend or husband because she often smelt. I don't know if there is any specific test for the condition she had but if a child who has accidents says they don't know when they have to poop, one would have to suspect it. Emotional upheavals such as family break-ups or loss of a beloved teacher or friend often lead to accidents. It could take some detective work to discover why a child who used to do fine has started to have accidents. But if all physical and emotional causes are eliminated, that's when it's time to get a bit tougher.

Angel - posted on 03/21/2012

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There is a difference in parenting and abuse. Like someone stated u apparently have a medical condition that should have been addressed long ago and i do hope that u have received the care u need...MY child had no medical condition ( and yes I knew this for a fact ) so having him clean his soiled undies a few times because I didn't feel I should keep enabling him only helped him . Your story is heart breaking and u should have never had to live that way ,but just because it happened to u does not mean it applies to every child .

Carmel - posted on 03/21/2012

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Yes, but you have a medical condition. Some kids do too but what about all the ones who are doing it for attention. I don't agree with all the shaming that went on because you couldn't help it but when kids can help it they can't just be let do it because then the other kids will tease them and make rude remarks.

Wendy - posted on 03/15/2012

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how dare you all,do you even remember what its like to be a kid

im 32 years old now and i have had this problem since i was a 6 year old

i just never could seem to feel the right sensations to let me know it was time to go,

how did my family handle it,first it was the nice talks and after that didn't fix it it was the long lectures,next it went to standing it the corner, until it started escalating in to me scrubbing my underwear out with an old scrub brush????? sound familiar

it got to where i wouldn't go at school cuz i was afraid to mess myself, them after that would fail they would call the parents in,but it just kept going on as much as i wanted it to stop,then came the spankings,and the screaming, fast forward a few year to my sisters 15th birthday and i was playing with my friends and it happens again,by this time my parents where sure it was just to get attention,so they took my soiled underwear and hung them from the clothes line to "let me get the attention i wanted" as they so nicely put it,i could sit here for days and go on about things like the school teacher who made got to take a shower because the other students couldn't concentrate or the jobs where ive had to fake being sick just to run home and change ......

.the causes are different for alot of peoples cases but the end result is this im terrified to even let a doctor see me because of the way my family and school treated me not to mention im anti-social

and flip out if i hear "whats that smell" even if its not me

so go ahead make your child scrub out the underwear yep that inst going to have any effect on them i mean its not like they don't already feel horrible enough already

just remember no matter how bad you think you feel try crapping yourself next to your friends and watch what happens then you will know what your kid goes thru every time

Angel - posted on 02/18/2012

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I have to disagree with anyone that says not to push a child over 4 to poo in the potty..yes its true for babies ...even a 3 year old ,but after 4 there is no excuse. As long as they are not disabled or have a medical issue then they should be doing all of their business in the toilet . Make them clean it up themselves ( every time no matter how much of a fuss u get )they will stop.

Deanna - posted on 02/16/2012

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So this is just a male thing? I havent read any of the other pages but all Im seeing on this one is that its the sons and not daughters that seem to have this problem...Weird or no??

Tanya - posted on 02/08/2012

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Can i ask how the chiropractor helped as this is very interesting to me i have tried everything and to no joy as yet i am wondering if this cud be the key?!

Mandy - posted on 04/07/2011

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i had a problem with my oldest daughter she would pee in the potty but not poop i did almost the same thing as dara i made something like a calendar and everytime she went and pooped a put a sticker on her paper and also gave her a icecream sandwich ( you can also try some small candy that is what worked for her) but you cant give what you deside to them if they dont go to the potty and then when they fill up the whole thing with stickers then they get something that they really wanted she got a ds i hope this helps

Lisa - posted on 03/20/2011

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Wow! I truly thought that my son was the only one with this problem. My son just turned 7 and has the same problem. We took him to the doc when he was 5 and the doc said that nothing was physically wrong and suggested that he was just being too lazy to go use the toilet. He does not mess his pants when he is at school or on vacation, so we know that he is capable of going when he needs to. I am hoping that he will grow out of it.

Jessica - posted on 03/05/2011

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My son is 7 yrs old... he has encoprisis as well and has had issues with this since he started using the toilet at 3. We are very frustrated, we have him on mirilax, take him to the doc regularly, do the rewards charts, sit on to potty for the doc recommended 30 mins before a shower and still, he refuses to use the bathroom... we have tried getting him to sit on the toilet every 30-60 mins here at home on the weekends, but at school he refuses to use the bathroom at all. Doctor says we just have to keep trying, but we are so very frustrated seeing it is starting to get to the point of having to force him to even go into the bathroom so sit!!

Jessica - posted on 03/05/2011

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My son is 7 yrs old... he has encoprisis as well and has had issues with this since he started using the toilet at 3. We are very frustrated, we have him on mirilax, take him to the doc regularly, do the rewards charts, sit on to potty for the doc recommended 30 mins before a shower and still, he refuses to use the bathroom... we have tried getting him to sit on the toilet every 30-60 mins here at home on the weekends, but at school he refuses to use the bathroom at all. Doctor says we just have to keep trying, but we are so very frustrated seeing it is starting to get to the point of having to force him to even go into the bathroom so sit!!

Dara - posted on 11/11/2010

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I used a calendar with stickers on it to help my daughter stop peeing herself. She had to have a sticker on every day of the week and then she got something special for doing it. It worked really well for us.

Tracy - posted on 11/09/2010

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YOU are not alone. My son is 9. Same thing. One day at a time. Not winning the battle, yet. There is just no clear plan for dealing with this- it is frustrating.

Laura - posted on 01/12/2010

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I had the same problem with my son who is now 5 1/2 yrs old. He started using the toilet consisitently to pee at a very young age, but would poop in his pants. We decided to pick a date (we picked his fourth birthday), and put up dome sort of visual count-down (we put up a paper chain). Each day we would take down a link of the chain and discuss what was going to happen when the chain was gone.....it would then be time to start pooping on the toilet. I also scheduled his 4 year old check up on his birthday, which I think the discussion with his doctor helped re-enforce the plan to start using the toilet NOW.
I think one of the reasons he had a problem with using the toilet, is at 2 yrs old, I started having him stand to pee at the toilet per recomendation of his doctor. At that point I believe he felt that boys did not sit on toilets. Needless to say, I lost complete respect for that doctor. In hind sight, I think a child learning to use the toilet should use it the most comfortable way for them... It's much better than the alternative!

Tina - posted on 01/12/2010

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my son is now 10 years old and it's hard some days but it's something that we now know that we have to live with for now becouse he has a prob that can't be fix with the medications are rewards that we have been told so it's just day by day

Tina - posted on 01/12/2010

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I know what you are all going throught i have had all of that since my son was 4 we tryed everthing the stars, money medications we had him to doc's and specialists and no one could tell us anthing so we just take it one day at a time as most kids grow out of it (my son is one of the very little that didn't but we still take one day at a time)

Amanda - posted on 01/11/2010

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My son is 9 years old, and has been soiling since he was 6 or 7. W have taken him to his doctor, specialists, and a therapist. Nothing has worked. We finaly deciced that we were jsut going to "live with it". This is not working well either, becasue I get so upset with him and yell at him. I am so completely tired of dealing with it. My husband says he needs his but busted, however I do not think this is a solution. Please Help!!

Rachelle - posted on 11/05/2009

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My son did the same thing. He would poop on the potty sometimes and know that was the right thing to do, he just wouldn't do it most of the time. We finally took the suggestion of a family member and took him to the chiropractor. It was the fix he needed. The very first time we went he got home and went right to the potty all on his own and has been going fine ever since!

Melissa - posted on 10/31/2009

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I know the feeling. I am so tired of cleaning poopie underewear. But no matter what we try it doesnt work. it just seems not to bother him. he was holding it so talked to the pediatrician he said to use miralax and that will help him get use to going to the bathroom. Well the miralax has diffently worked but he still wont go in the potty. He pees just not poos. He knows it is poop because he says poop. he is trying because he will run in there and try to clean himself as long as he is naked. I tried having him clean hism underewear but he likes to play in water. I dont know what else to try. I am so aggrevated by it.

Veronica - posted on 10/31/2009

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i have the same problem with my step-son i would set up a drs appointment for him with his regular doctor they can help with ideas for him to go in the potty and also they can also tell u if he is able to control it or not that is what we r doing for my step-son

Anna - posted on 10/30/2009

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My son would do this at school and at home. It got to the point that we went in and talked with his teacher. Thankfully she was very understanding and helpful. After a few weeks of her having him go and try once an hour, he finally stopped. He also had to wash out his own undies. He has been poop free since school ended last summer!! Good luck!!

Charlotte - posted on 10/28/2009

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thank you so much I will try those suggestion. Sometimes its so hard to deal with but glad im apart of the cir. of moms thank you again

Lori - posted on 10/22/2009

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My 6 year old is still occasionally pooping in his pants and he will try to hide his dirty underwear and lie about it. He had encoprisis and it took a long time to get through it. The one thing that helped was to have him sit on the potty with something fun to do about 15 minutes after eating. The only time he got to play with his Nintendo DS was during potty time. This helped him to relax and just let his body do what it needed to do. He would sit there for 20 minutes sometimes with his elbows on his knees, playing his game. It took months but it did help. Now, he will realize that he has to go too late and will stand there, stiff as a board, trying to hold it in until the urge passes and he can walk to the bathroom. It recently got worse again since we moved.

Lmf64 - posted on 10/21/2009

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Quoting Andrea:

I really feel for you my four year old still poos his pants as well we ave been trying this stuff called peduchoc we give itto him of a night time and it makes him go to the toilet every morn around the same time so his body will get ino it so far so good maybe this is some thing you could try.



Be careful using medications to make your child go.  Due to a hernia at a very young age, combined with painful bms as a todler my son developed a disorder called encopresis.  Basically, he couldn't tell when he had to go and  was totally beyond his control.  When a child has encopresis they don' t feel the urge to go and they also have a problem with being constipated.  Yes they soil their pants, but it's really leakage.  Before you punish your child for soiling themselves, please make sure that you are dealing with something s/he can control. 



 

Andrea - posted on 10/21/2009

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I really feel for you my four year old still poos his pants as well we ave been trying this stuff called peduchoc we give itto him of a night time and it makes him go to the toilet every morn around the same time so his body will get ino it so far so good maybe this is some thing you could try.

Socorro - posted on 10/21/2009

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There are kids who are late in taking control of their anal system, some, of their bladder. Sometimes, it's also just a psychological matter. This definitely is beyond his control. Also, he might be that hyperactive resulting to this. Just don't pressure him on this because in time, he will outgrow that. My nieces, both in their teens are still, unconsciously pooping on their underwear.

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