kids masturbating

CE - posted on 11/22/2008 ( 30 moms have responded )

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I have a 7 year old girl who I have found masturbating ( or at least it sure looks like she is) on several occasions. It is freaking me out. I have tried to not look alarmed. I have simply told her that it is ok to touch your own body but not ok for someone else to touch your privates. And not ok to touch someone elses. I have also asked her if someone else has ever touch her privates and she assured me that that has never happened. I do believe this as she is always with one of us and I don't see how that oppurtunity would ever arise. Yet, I am still freaked. Any one else have to deal with this?

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Michelle - posted on 07/31/2012

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I believe it is also normal. I have heard of kids doing it as young as 1! obviously i cant remember if i did or not back then but i remember trying to stimulate myself lots of times when I was 6,7,8..

The first time I can remember it feeling good was when I was 8 bouncing on a soft ball but I dont think I really enjoyed it properly until after I hit puberty when I was around 12. I lay in the bath under flowing water which worked wonders so that was how i masturbated all through my teens..

It had no effect on me. Some people believe it can make you overly sexual but thats not true.. I didnt lose my virginity till 18 and im 23 now and have only slept with two people. I really respect myself and my body and prefer to explore it myself and figure out what I like.

Im very confident and have no trouble at all saying no to someone.

[deleted account]

Believe me its natural...I started when I was around 7-8 and used the shower head in the bathtub. It felt amazing! I now babysit my neighbors lil girl who is 7 and she also rubs down there all the time. At first I thought she was just itchy down there but when I asked her about it she said she does it because "it feels really really good." I took her panties off and checked her out to make sure she didn't have a rash and she was fine...just aroused. Sometimes she takes her panties off saying she's hot but I know what she wants to do and she will lay on the couch and touch down there until she starts turning flush, shudders then falls asleep.

Lindsay - posted on 01/25/2012

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My daughter is almost 8 and does this. I have talked in depth with her on why she does this. She is very honest and simply tells me that it just feels good to her and has not been touched by someone else. She used to do it out in the open like in our living room but now she only does it in her bedroom. I would't freak out too much.My daughter seems to be growing out of it so...give it time. It could be a phase like with my daughter.

Lisa - posted on 02/16/2013

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It's pretty normal really. I've caught my kids playing with themselves before. Just teach her to do it in the bathroom/bedroom and you will be fine.

Jasmine - posted on 07/13/2014

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I'm an 11 year old girl and their is nothing wrong with us kids masterbating and it does feel really good as long as we aren't doing anything until we are old enough so I recommend you talk to your kids about it so they get a better understanding

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Shad - posted on 08/18/2014

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Sensory intuitive and self exploration is a different frequency altogether, rather than masturbation. The definition of masturbation is the manipulation of your genitals to a point of orgasm. If a child is touching their genitals or rubbing, I believe at early ages, they are exploring feeling a self stimulation. The arousal theory, when we experience arousal we increase the stimulus because we like it.
I believe when considering the boundaries of self realization and self stimulation, a good action is to teach the child about communication, trust and boundaries.
It is their feelings, their bodies, and their discovery and not for strangers or anyone else to touch where the their bathing suit cover. Self confidence and trust.
The issue of masturbatory insanity was do to euphoria. When masturbation was considered a illness and the doctor or nurse would do it for you when experiencing euphoria while the husband is away. Then the vibrator was actually prescribed as a medical device. The phycology argument on self exploring for the child gained support in 1974, and began to become the acceptance in self exploration. Believe it or not, the masturbatory insanity, was a law a 100 years ago, and they would literally lock you for doing it. So enclose, the argument goes on, it is know argument as to teaching self boundaries, appropriation of manners, and yes means yes and no means no.

[deleted account]

sorry this is late, but again, yes. I think it is normal. It feels good so it is logical, then it is the parents job to tell them that it is not appropriate.

Chester - posted on 01/14/2014

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I'm a single dad with a 8yo girl . I walked in on her masturbating about mouths ago . I was freaking out about her masturbating. 2 wks ago I found her and a boy in bed together having sex.and when I talked to her she told me her . And other boys have to . I never thought her and the boys she was playing with were. With a 3 bedroom house I would let her friends stay the night girl and boys. I was freaked out when she told me her best friend brother got her started.

Suzi - posted on 10/26/2013

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Others will tell you, kids masturbate without thinking about it from toddlerhood onwards. It doesn't matter. You just have to ensure they learn not to do it publically, or in mixed company ("it's rude, and it's unhygienic!") - and wash their hands afterwards.

Crystal - posted on 02/08/2013

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I have a 6 yr old daughter whos startin to do it my bs walked in on her a few times touhing herself. I dunno wat to do tho she isnt capable of understanding why shes doin it n all that stuff. Any advice?

Annabelle - posted on 07/31/2012

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Yeah, all my kids (all 5) have done this...it's normal. All that needs to be said is it is like taking a going to the bathroom....everyone does it but not in front of people.

Jolene - posted on 06/24/2012

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I, myself, have a history of sexual abuse, I was 3 years old, when I started masterbating, at first I wouldnt bother hiding the fact, because as a child I thought, this was normal. What my mother didn't know and what I never told her was that I would be touch, played with.
So, I would take caution, because although your child tells you no, she may not realize what the difference between good and bad touch. I never was raped, penatated. I was just touch, inapprorated, and believe me, I may of been young, but its hard to forget something so dramanic.

Ron - posted on 06/24/2012

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Christina
wow-hes 8 and you have a female doctor for him? I have a son and daughter, we each have our own Doctors ( males for us, female for them) and it makes for a more comfortable relationship without them being any more embarrassed they they have to be. I think it is time you got a male Doctor for him , and of course female Doctors for the girls. It is utter nonsense to think that gender does not matter, it does. Just thought I'd mention that.

Mitchell - posted on 01/01/2012

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Oh it seems when i posted i was logged in as my partners account automaticly- hi i'm Alicia!



i masterbated at 7 but i was being groomed by my stepfather who did molest my half sister when she was 2 all the way through to 3and a half before she said daddy stuck his stick in me and alarm bells finaly rang in my mothers head after years of violence and me and my sisters being groomed for it. I at 23 still think masterbation is discusting and wrong, but understand it is supposed to be natural and normal. my now 7yr old has been masterbating for a couple of years now and i think i have pushed my veiws on it being yucky to strongly and want to back off but as she has just returned from living with my mum and half sister for the last 3yrs i'm worried she learnt it from my sister as she is still such a disturbed girl now 15 she had one on one time with my kids in her room a couple of yrs ago i complained but know one took my concerns seriously i feel my daughter has been molested by my sister with no proof this is why i want her to think its wrong she touches her self infront of her sibblings and tries to get them to touch their own places i find this incredibly scary. I can't make her stop but reading all these stories of it being normal is helping me find the words to discuss right and wrong times and places.

Jay - posted on 09/11/2011

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@ Lucia
You should'nt put him into the corner. You have to teach him that it is normal and not bad, but tell him that he must do it in his bedroom and wash his hands after. If he keeps doing it in public then give him a warning and then the corner if he continues.
Just make sure to let him know that it is not that he is doing it, it is that he is doing it in public.
And the teacher should understand, just tell her if she see's him that she should remind him that he should keep that for in privet.
I would first go to the doctor and have a little check up, just in case their is a little infection. My DH had a problem recently that could not be seen, and he described it as being ''inside''. Especially if you lil one has been circumcised it could be just a little infection.
Good luck hun xxxxxx

Lucia - posted on 09/07/2011

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i have a 5 year old son and recently has started masturbating . but ive caught him trying to do it in public and his teacher has come to me and asked if he has an infection becus he hides under the table n rubbs him self n say im not finished yet .. i dont know what to doo and im sooo embarressed ... i tryed putting him in the corner for touching him self but its not working ... i dont know how to go n handle this as im a single mum n this is my first child ... someone please help me ...

Sylvia - posted on 04/21/2011

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Um, why does this freak you out? Didn't you do the same thing when you were a kid? Doesn't everyone, at some point?

What I tell mine (she's 8 now) is that we call them "private parts" because you should play with them in private -- not on the living-room couch in front of the rest of the family ;^)

Mary1959 - posted on 04/21/2011

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explain to her in nice way it some thing she does in her bedroom or bathroom
and not to put any thing else in her but fingers

Joanne - posted on 04/20/2011

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Hi My DD is 5 nearly 6 in May and she lays on her tummy hands under her and watchers tv once she "humped" the couch i have told her if you going to do that, in your bedroom, do you think i need to talk to her.? and how do i go about doing that?

Christina - posted on 04/20/2011

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my 8 yr old son does the same thing and i was certain no one had touched him so i talked to his doctor and she assured me that this is a normal process that children go through she eccouraged me to talk to him about the good touch and the bad touch when it relates to others but do not make him feel ashamed or embarased

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2011

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My 4 year old son pulled his penis out his pants the other day while we were on the couch watching a movie. I just told him that it's okay, but that's a private part and a private thing and he can only play with it in his room or his bathroom.

Candy - posted on 04/19/2011

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Are you sure she is masturbating or just playing with it? My oldest cant seem to keep her hands away from it. She is always watching tv and has her hands there. She isnt masturbating but just exploring. I tell her she cant be doing that any where and with out washing her hands first.

Mary1959 - posted on 04/18/2011

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my daughter is 10 and son 9
they have started learning about there body
i told them to do in there bedroom
since they share a bedroom

Monique - posted on 11/24/2008

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There is a difference in exploring your body and masterbating. We have all been curious as young children about our bodies, but after a certain age it becomes more than that. My advice to you is to have an INDEPTH conversation with your daughter and find out why she does this, instead of merely looking the other way, when it happens. At age 7 when a child is masterbating, throws up a red flag for me. Not to scare you, but my niece who is now 17 did the same thing. her mom looked the other way and now it has come out her stepdad was abusing her since the age of 7. Everything that feels good is not always good to do. Ask questions until you are satisfied with the situation. But I would not enough her to keep masterbating or act as though it does not exist. Good Luck

[deleted account]

I know one of my friends told her girls after several times finding the kids masterbating in public view (like the livingroom or the in the car) that it was ok that they did it, but it was something that they had to do in their room alone. That quickly solved that problem!

Monica - posted on 11/23/2008

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Yes, and mine is only 4.
I read in a book that is all part of them discovering their bodies. The book continues to explain how this to them just feels good and they do not see it woth the malice us adults do.
I still freaked and asked the same questions you did assuring myself that no one have abused her. My plan is to ask our pediatrician soon. When I catch her I try to call her attention by asking her to do silly task, whatever comes to my mind @ the time.
When I do ask, I'll let you know what he said.
Good luck!

[deleted account]

I know one of my friends told her girls after several times finding the kids masterbating in public view (like the livingroom or the in the car) that it was ok that they did it, but it was something that they had to do in their room alone. That quickly solved that problem!

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