KINDERGARTEN BF'S??

Jessica - posted on 02/14/2011 ( 16 moms have responded )

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So my 5 yr old daughter is in kindergarten .. She has come home to tell me that some of the other girls in her class have a boyfriend and she seen them kiss??? Luckily she thinks thats disgusting but i am so devestated!! this is kindergarten!! I dont want my daughter to be exposed to this. Has this happened to anyone else?

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Jeanet - posted on 02/14/2011

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Don't worry they are just kids. My daughter is 4 and loves kisses and cuddles. She will give kisses and cuddles to her friends at nursery doesn't matter if they are boys or girls. She'll outgrow it when she gets older. She has a boyfriend she is going to marry, but let face it at that age they don't know what that means and half of them want to marry there daddy. Sometimes grown ups see things with grown up eyes and not with a childs where it's completely innocent and friendly. Hope that helps ease your mind.

Crystal - posted on 02/28/2011

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Two of my buddies in kindergarten got in trouble for french kissing in the library. That was in the 70's... things haven't really changed. There is always one in the class that's rather... er accelerated. The next year, she explained to me why my last name (Cummings) was funny. She had two much older sisters and good ears. It's all strangely normal. Your daughter's buddy may well end up having her first child at 13 (though shockingly neither of my buddies did), but talk to your child without making a big deal out of this child's behavior. Agree with her that it is "gross", make a joke, and ask her if she has a boyfriend. She will be more likely to tell you this stuff if you do not overreact.



And its really your own child you want to know about right?

Steph - posted on 02/23/2011

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My daughter is 5 and in kinder. She came home telling me that 3 lil boys said she was their girlfriend. I was like hold on you are no ones girlfriend. Yes you are a friend and a girl but you belong to no one she understands that. And we talk about touching no boy or girl or adult can touch her in the privates and no kissing on the mouth. We have taught that to our kids at a young age. But she can give hugs to both girls and boys as long as it's in a respectable way!!! Kisses well those are given only to close friends and family. Just be open and talk! Hope this helps some way

Jenn - posted on 02/23/2011

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Oh, I wouldn't worry at all! Children can be very affectionate and they honestly don't understand what a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is. It is by no means sexual to them! Granted, kissing is not allowed in school and the teacher should be notified (geez if for nothing else but to avoid viruses!) but it is pretty harmless. My 6 year old has been friends with a boy since she was 11 months old and they plan to marry and have 6 babies though I have been volunteered to change the diapers :)

Children mimic what they see and hear but it all carries a different meaning to a child than it does an adult. I wouldn't worry unless a child is unhappy or uncomfortable with the affection received by another.

Latashia_prc - posted on 02/23/2011

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I agree children in the kidergarten should not be exposed 2 this type of behavior. My concern is where is the teacher when this occurs. I would express concern 2 her. If she can't get the situation under control, I would consider removing my child.

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User - posted on 02/24/2013

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Yes. I am 51 and I remember the same situations when I was their age. It's gone on forever and it will continue. We as parents have to remember how old they are and thus, how their little minds think about such things. It is our grown-up minds that make us scared to think about such things! To them it just means a good friend. As for the kissing, I told my youngest that kids can get arrested for doing that at school. True! Amazing but true! By 4th grade kids are usually disgusted by such ideas. Rarely does a pair come along where each has the same idea as the other. Keeping our heads on straight can prevent any power struggles before they start.

Ruby - posted on 02/28/2011

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Although we don't want this going on (mainly due to germs) children this age do not see kissing in the same context our mature mind sees it. Most kids who kiss do this because they associates it with the affection 'mommy gives' to say we love them. I did not taint my sons ideas about kissing, I simply told him that kissing and sharing food and drinks are a no-no because you can get very sick or cause someone else to get sick, cause you never know who has the cold bug.



As parents, it can be hard to remember that children see this world so differently than we do. And it is our reaction and response that can slowly snatch their innocence away and put more into their mind than actually intended.

Jacqui - posted on 02/28/2011

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oh come on people. Kids see mummies and daddies all around them and so thats what they mimic. My son wants to marry me all the time and no matter how many times I tell him 'mummies do not marry their sons' he just says, 'but you said that people get married because they love each other and I love you so we are getting married'. I mean we go up the stairs to bed with our arms linked and he hums away duh duh du duh. when we get to the top of the stairs he says you are now husband and wife, gives me a kiss on the cheek and bounces off to his room. Its a ritual (and i love it) of course it helps that I am a wedding planner hahahaha and so he see's me at work and hears wedding talk all the time, but still he mimics. He has 3 girlfriends but only one that he likes a lot - the others are becoming too bossy. I've seen him kiss and its always on the cheek and he has been told about not touching or being touched anywhere his swimming costume covers. That is private and only he (or the doctor when he is sick) can touch. So worry not, they are just growing up - this is what they do. They will grow out of it and soon be repulsed by the opp sex.

Marcie - posted on 02/27/2011

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No problems its perfectly natural, my son had his first" girlfriend" in pre k at age 5:) now he doesn't like girls, its just a phase, no worries

Sylvia - posted on 02/23/2011

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@Tiffany, seriously? You think hugging and kissing is "just not right"?

My 8-year-old and her friends hug each other all the time. When they're happy to see each other, when someone has hurt him/herself on the playground, when someone is sad ... What on earth is wrong with little kids hugging?!

TIFFANY - posted on 02/23/2011

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yep i went on a field trip with my daughters class last year and i saw i first hand . i was floored. and i scolded the kids for hugging and kissing because thats just not right , then got told by the teacher she catches that all the time... so sad....

Leslie - posted on 02/16/2011

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yes it happend to me...she is now in 2nd grade but in kinder...there was talk of SEX.. we even had CPS involved but they saw it was nothing. i out my foot down to the teachers and school and saiad my child is not aloud to play with that little boy anymore...she grew out of that and has forgotten about it..your the mom and its your child so if u dont like what is going on at school go up there nicley and do something about it!!!!!

Kim - posted on 02/16/2011

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I wouldn't be too upset I remember when I was in kindergarten I had a "boyfriend". I remember sitting next to him in the gymnasium waiting for our bus...I lead over and kissed him. Then I let him know we were going to get married. It was quite innocent and we were good friends until I moved out of the district.

Sylvia - posted on 02/14/2011

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You know that might very well just mean a peck on the cheek, right? Unless there's some evidence that something really age-inappropriate is happening, I think I'd recommend not freaking out yet.

My DD came home from daycare one day when she was about four and announced that she was going to marry M, a little boy in her class, when they grew up. I asked her if M knows this and she said, "Of course he does. I told him today at lunch time!" LOL Kids that age spend a lot of time living in imaginary worlds, where they are older and in charge of their own lives. Playing at being boyfriends and girlfriends (or mummies and daddies!) is part of that. (Also, lots of kids are very tactile and like to hug and kiss their friends. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, either.) If that's all that's happening in your DD's kindergarten class, there probably isn't any reason to be "devastated" that she's been "exposed" to anything terrible.

Alma - posted on 02/14/2011

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My daughter came home and said that there was a boy in her class that smacked her butt well needless to say wasn't a very happy mom so i went to the school and talked to the parents and made it perfectly clear that my daughter is 5 and in kindergarten so if this happens again then there will be harsh consequences and the other mother just looked at me like i was stupid and i said i am sorry but my daughter is not going to be smacked on her bottom by a boy in her class i mean i already have to worry about her and boys when she gets older i don't want to right now that is just insane she is 5 there is no need for them to even know about stuff like that although alot of them do and that is our faults as parents but i believe that a 5 year old has no business kissing or touching another person that way. Thats my opinion and I was very upset when this happened

Ruth - posted on 02/14/2011

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my five year old has a "boyfriend" and they are going to get married apparently. The whole clase were kissing at school (and innocently exploring their bodies) but the teachers have told them it is not appropriate at school. Until they get to school everyone they like gives them kisses and cuddles cos they are mainly around family and close family friends so they don't know any different. Don't panic

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