Miscarriages, how do I cope?

Jackie - posted on 03/10/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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I have 2 children already a 5yr daughter and a 3yr son, and I was expecting again. I was 5weeks and 3days along when I started to miscarry. :( I didnt want the baby to start off with because I had my Pigeon pair, but after a few days to get my head around it i was really looking forward to another baby. Then a few days later I started to bleed. I had not been to doctors to confirm i was pregnant but I was sure. Anyway I miscarried and I am still bleeding from it, it has been over 2weeks already. I have been to doctors and hospital and stuff but after accepting and looking forward to another child and lose it is really hard. I feel like there is a huge black hole sucking me deeper and deeper. How do i cope? How do i get over the heartbreak? also the father is not really supportive and neither is the family.... :(

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Ella - posted on 03/11/2010

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Coping With Miscarriage



Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective

Coping with miscarriage is a very personal experience that every woman will do differently. Also it will depend on the gestational age of the baby before the miscarriage. Some women form a bond with their unborn child immediately upon the news that they are pregnant, while others only do when signs and symptoms of pregnancy begin.

Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #1 - It's My Fault - While coping with miscarriage many women believe that it is their fault that they miscarried. Many women will even feel that they are inadequate as a woman because they must be "defective" if they can not carry a pregnancy to term. While other women will wonder what they have done to deserve such a devastating experience. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #1 - It is not your fault! Approximately 40% of miscarriages have no medical explanation for their occurences. Also 50-60% of first trimester and 20% of second trimester miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormatlities within the fetus.

Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #2 - Anger. Anger is a completely normal feeling during the process of coping with miscarriage. Women can feel anger towards God for "letting this happen", medical field for not preventing the miscarriage, anger towards others who are pregnant or have children, and even their significant other for not coping with miscarriage the way they think they should. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #2 - Anger is expected during the process of coping with miscarriage. Just understand that the anger is about the pregnancy loss and not having control over this devastating experience.

Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #3 -Feeling of Depression. This feeling if it occurs has different severity for each person coping with miscarriage. However, a minority of women actually develop actual depression. Women may find themselves crying at odd times, not wanting to get out of bed at times, and feeling of hopelessness. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #3 - These are all normal feelings of grief. It is okay to cry and is actually healthy to cry. However, if these syptoms interfere with the woman's daily life after several weeks she may need to find addtional support through professional counseling, church, or family and friends.

Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #4 -I will never get pregnant again or I am afraid to get pregnant again. While coping with miscarriage it is only natural to feel that it may happen again to you. Especially when a lot of women try for a long time to get pregnant and then this devastating experience occurs. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #4 - 90% of women who experience a miscarriage with the first pregnancy will have a successful second pregnancy. Do not give up hope while coping with miscarriage and allow yourself to grieve but do not loose the hope of having children some day. Also realize that all women are afraid when they get pregnant again after a miscarriage. So do your best and try not to worry about "what if it happens again".

For Women and Men - Phrases to Expect to Hear

Coping with Miscarriage - Phrase #1 - You can always get pregnant again.

Coping with Miscarriage - Phrase #2 - It is probably better that you miscarried, since something must have been wrong with the baby.

Coping with Miscarriage - Phrase #3 - Well at least the baby wasn't born yet.

Coping with Miscarriage - Phrase #4 - God must have done it for a reason.

Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective

Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #1 -It's My Fault - Men who are coping with miscarriage usually feel that it is their fault that their partner miscarries. They think they should not have had sexual intercourse, let them lift objects, or did not get to the hospital fast enough. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #1 - It is not your fault!! It has been proven that sexual intercourse can not cause a miscarriage and almost 95% of miscarriages can not be stopped even with medical intervention. Also normal daily activities such as lifting objects, and physical activity has not been linked to miscarriages.

Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #2 -I must stay strong for my wife or partner. Most men while coping with miscarriage feel they can not show to much emotion and they need to be strong for their partner. Men feel that if they show emotion then they will not be able to support or help their loved one through this experience. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #2 - Show your emotions!! The loss of a pregnancy is devastating even to the father to be. Let your emotions go and share your sadness, anger, and any other emotions with your wife or partner. This will allow them to open up to you and make the healing process begin sooner than normal. It is okay to cry and not know what to say but do that with your loved one and it will make coping with miscarriage much easier.

Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #3 -It has been months, why is my wife still so upset? Coping with miscarriage is differen for men and women. Men do not have the same bond that a woman have, because the baby is not inside their bodies. Therefore, men do not have the same intense emotions that women have. Understand that women question their womenhood and fear that maybe their bodies will not let them carry a pregnancy to term. These are concerns that men just do not have. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #3 - Men need to be patient and be there to listen and not judge their loved one. Also men can not be afraid to be honest with their partner and let them know that they are still affected by the miscarriage and if they need to cry then cry with their loved one. This is all normal aspects of coping with miscarriage.

Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #4 - My wife doesn't want to have sex or my wife wants to get pregnant right away. Some of the most difficult times will arise several months into coping with miscarriage. Some women will not want to have anything to do with sex. The act of sex will either remind the woman of their miscarriage or she is afraid to get pregnant again and go through another miscarriage. Then on the other side of the spectrum some women want to get pregnant right away to prove that they can have a child. For men this is an extremely difficult situation in coping with miscarriage. Most men will not relate sex with the miscarriage like some women do. Other men will have difficulty because they feel pressured by their spouse or loved one to have sex and get pregnant right away and this takes the intimacy out of the sex. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #4 - Men need to try and be understanding during this time. The woman will eventually come to terms with her feelings and your sexual life will be back to normal. The most important aspect during this phase of coping with miscarriage is communication. Both the man and the woman need to be truly honest about their feelings and fears to help get to a healthy relationship again.


Conceiving After Miscarriage



Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective

Conceiving after miscarriage creates different feelings for each woman as well as differences among women and men. There are a lot of questions and fears that have to be addressed before most women feel that they are ready to attempt conceiving after miscarriage. Some women want to attempt conceiving after miscarriage right away while others want nothing to do with conceiving after miscarriage. It is a long road that no one can understand but the woman and man who are going through the miscarriage experience.

Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #1 - How long will the bleeding last after a miscarriage? Most women want to know how long they will have vaginal bleeding before they even think about conceiving after miscarriage. While this will vary from woman to woman, most women have vaginal bleeding for 4-5 days up to 2 weeks. However, if someone experiences a third trimester loss they may have vaginal bleeding up to 6 weeks. It is important that during that time the woman does not place anything within the vagina (no intercourse, no douching, no tampons). Conceiving After Miscarriage Tip #1 - Allow this time to let your body heal and cope with the loss you have just had.

Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #2 - No desire for sex. There are a lot of women who are left with no desire to have sex after a miscarriage which makes conceiving after miscarriage extremely difficult. Many women state that it reminds them to much of their unborn child and / or the miscarriage experience. Also many women agree that they are afraid of conceiving after miscarriage and having another miscarrige. Some women even admit that they do not feel that they are adequate enough as a woman since they can not carry a pregnancy to term. Many women's feelings of inadequancy leads them to feel sexually unattractive. Conceiving After Miscarriage Tip #2 - Allow your body and mind to heal before you consider conceiving after miscarriage. If sex is to painful then you must communicate that to your partner and try to make them understand it is still to difficult of a time. In time it will get easier and you will find that you want to become intimate again and conceiving after miscarriage is what you may want. Also when you do attempt conceiving after miscarriage remember that 90% of women who have had one miscarriage have a successful next pregnancy, and even 60% of women who have had two miscarriages have a successful next pregnancy.

Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #3 -Desire to get pregnant right away. The desire to immediately attempt conceiving after miscarriage is a common feeling. A lot of women just really want to have a child and do not want to wait a few months before they attempt conceiving after miscarriage. It truly comes down to how you are dealing with your miscarriage. No one knows their body better than a woman does, so if she feels she is ready to attempt conceiving after miscarriagte then try. Conceiving After Miscarriage Tip #3 - It truly is up to the woman when she wants to attempt conceiving after miscarriage. However, make sure you have had time to mourn and cope with your loss and prepare your mind and body for pregnancy again before you attempt conceiving after miscarriage. It is a good idea to at least wait until you have one normal menstrual cycle to allow your body to prepare itself for conceiving after miscarriage. Some physcians even say that you should wait for three menstrual cycles before you attempt conceiving after miscarriage. This is truly a decision that should be left up to the couple trying to attempt conceiving after miscarriage.

Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #4 -Not getting pregnant while trying. Many couples want to get pregnant right away the first time they try conceiving after miscarriage. The stress and emotions that will occur during this time is extremely difficult. Each month when a woman begins her menstrual cycle she will be reminded of the miscarriage and that she is not pregnant now when she should be. Most women agree that after they stopped timing and planning the sex and just let it happen they became pregnant. Conceiving After Miscarriage Tip #4- Do not plan to get pregnant immediately after you decide to attempt conceiving after miscarriage. The stress of wanting to be pregnant will definately hinder the intimate sexual contact and make sex no longer enjoyable and more like a job. The best way to get pregnant is have sex everyother day between the tenth and eighteenth day of the woman's menstrual cycle. However, be spontaneous and make it romantic and enjoyable.

Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #5 -The fear of having another miscarriage. Once a woman experiences a micarriage that fear of it happening again will be with her for every pregnancy there after. No one can understand the feeling of this fear except for someone who has experienced a miscarriage themselves and have been successful conceiving after miscarriage. Conceiving After Miscarriage Tip #5 - Do not be surprised at how scared you are once you become pregnant. It is natural to have this feeling and most women will have this fear for every additional pregnancy no matter how long ago the miscarriage was. Be honest to your husband or loved one because they will not understand how you are feeling, even after you have one successful pregnancy.



Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective

Conceiving after miscarriage creates a different set of emotions for a man. Men do not completely understand the whole miscarriage experience since men do not have the fetus inside their bodies. However, men do have significant emotions towards the loss of their unborn child. When it comes to conceiving after miscarriage most men have their own insecurities and concerns.

Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #1 - Sex feels like a job. When a couple decides to attempt conceiving after miscarriage it is usually a extremely planned out affair. Most couples will know when they can get pregnant and want to have sex on this day and at this time. Some couples even will only have sex in a certain position when trying to attempt conceiving after miscarriage. For some men this is extremely difficult to deal with. The pressure of not getting pregnant is so great that some men can not even engage in intercourse while attempting conceiving after miscarriage. Conceiving After Miscarriage Tip #1 - Be honest with your partner if you feel that sex is like a job and not enjoyable anymore. Also try and understand that she is still trying to cope with the miscarriage and has a lot of concerns and emotions about getting pregnant again herself. Inform her that the best way to conceiving after miscarriage is to have intercourse everyother day starting on about day ten to day eighteen. The specific time in the day does not matter and the position of the action does not matter as well. The most important aspect in conceiving after miscarriage is having a pationate connection with your loved one.

Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #2 - My wife or loved one gets extremely emotional when she finds out she is not pregnant. A lot of men do not understand why a woman cries or gets upset when she begins her period when they attempt conceiving after miscarriage. A lot of men feel that we can just try next month, when most women view it as I am not pregnant and I should be. Menstruation just reminds them all over again about the miscarriage and how emotionally affected they are by the loss. Conceiving After Miscarriage Tip #2 -Men need to understand that some women will feel extremely inadequate that they can not get pregnant right away and that they have not been able to carry a pregnancy to term. Even though men can not understand this they need to accept it. Men should not tell their significant other that it is okay and that they will eventually get pregnant and not to be so emotional about not getting pregnant. Men need to just be there for their loved one and let them know it is okay that they feel upset and express their emotions about how they feel. Even if it is to say I do not understand the way you feel but I am here for you, that is enough to let your loved one know that you care.

Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #3 - The only time we have sex is when she wants to get pregnant. A lof of men feel that the only time they have sex with their loved ones while they try conceiving after miscarriage is when she feels she can get pregnant. This turns a lot of men off and makes them feel that they are only needed for their sperm. Most men will tell you that they become extremely insecure in this setting. Men have the natural desire of wanting to be made to feel they are wanted not just needed for conceiving after miscarriage. Conceiving After Miscarriage Tip #3 - Men need to be able to have open communication with their significant other in regards to conceiving after miscarriage. Men also need to respect the way their loved one feels. Most men loose the romantic side of their relationship after several years. Men need to make their wife or loved one feel that they are still attractive and wanted themselves. Most women will respond better to sexual advances if they do not feel that all the man wants is to have sex all the time especially after a miscarriage. Men need to take time to remember the small things in the bedroom and out, especially in the attempt of conceiving after miscarriage. Make your wife or significant other feel special and not just a sex object. If men do this conceiving after miscarriage can be exceptionally intimate and enjoyable.

Conceiving After Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #4 - The fear of having another miscarriage. Most men will not admit that they have just as much fear about having another miscarriage as a woman does while conceiving after miscarriage. The men feel their control is lost once the woman becomes pregnant and there is nothing he can do to guarantee that the pregnancy will go to term. A lot of men will ask a thousand questions a day about "how do you feel", "are you bleeding at all", "are you in pain", or "everything okay". Men think they are just helping, but in reality they are making it worse because the woman already has these same fears as he does. Conceiving After Miscarriage Tip #4 - The best thing a man can do is be honest about how he feels and his fears about conceiving after miscarriage. Then talk to his wife or loved one and agree to not be over bearing or ask to many questions as long as the woman is willing to be honest in return. This is a very difficult aspect of conceiving after miscarriage and never really changes no matter how many successful pregnancies you have in the future.

Maegen - posted on 04/11/2012

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So sorry to hear about everyone's miscarriages! I have had 5 of them. I lost all of them around the 8th week. I have never been through something so emotional and heart breaking! I lost of piece of myself with each loss. I really wish I would have gone and talked to someone about the miscarriages because it really messed me up and changed me! We have had no luck with having a baby. We had given up and decided we werent meant to be parents until a miracle happened...It was very bitter sweet and heart breaking the way it happened but we have a beautiful baby boy now that we will be adopting!! All I can can say is have faith! I know its hard to do that when you keep going through heartbreak but you have to have faith because God works in mysterious ways!!!

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Alicia - posted on 11/19/2013

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Im sorry for your loss and i hope it gets easier. I had a miscarriage at 21 weeks and 1 day on nov. 1. Its so hard to cope with. We found out on oct 23 that it was a boy and we were so excited because we have a lil girl who is 5 and she was just so happy to be a big sister. On oct 28 in the morning i got up and went to the bathroom while going pee i felt someting come out i put my hand to check and what i felt was something soft coming out . It went back in and i got rushed to the hosiptal . When i got there it started coming out again the nurse said it was my waterbag coming out they leaned me back in it went back in . Then they told me that i was dilated to 3 cm already . I was so scared and sad it was the worst feeling ever knowing my baby was coming that soon. The dr told Me baby wouldnt survive at that many weeks. They told me that i would have the bby any day now and i was diagnosed with an ic. Then i waited 4 days with the bby alive and perfectly healthy from what they told me. It was horrible think is today the day im lose my bby boy. On nov. 1 the contractions got stronger and i dilated to the 4 cm then they told me i was able to push because he is small so i pushed . He came out alive n moving it was beautiful . We cryed and held him till he passed it was so hard to have him and then gave to give him back.

Zen - posted on 11/28/2012

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Go ORGANIC. Glyphosate, injected into Genetically Modified soy and corn and sprayed heavily on soy, works by stripping any living organism of its vital nutrients and kills it. What do we think it does to us when we eat it? To our babies? GM ingredients are now in 70% of our food. Go ORGANIC. My friend did and was pregnant the month after and carried to term.

Michelle - posted on 05/13/2012

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Jackie, I feel how ypou do. I've been there. I had 2 miscarriages after my first child. After having my 5th child , I lost another miscarriage which was twins.
My first miscarriage was awful, I bled for 3 months. I didn't want a dnc. I was afraid of messing up my insides. My sister had that done and she had nothing but problems with her pregnancies afterwards. My second miscarriage. I all of a sudden started to get cramps and went to the bathroom and wiped myself and there my baby was on the toilett paper. People say that a baby isn't a baby until you are 3 months pregnant. They are dead wrong!. I looked at this little baby on my toilott paper sitting on the toilett. It was in the palm of my hand. I could see the spots of the eyes, nose and where the ears were forming. the legs and arms were formed and the feet and hands were webbed. I could tell it was a baby. How can people say they are not babies before 3 months old? They are and so many has abortions and kills them. They are little lives with hearts. The way I see it on that, a baby is another you and when they did or even get killed, they have a heart, they feel..they are alive. a miscarriage means a baby dies unwillingly and comes out on it's own.Abortion is murder. My first miscarriage, i had big blood clots with it.
My last miscarriage with my twins. I felt that they were girls. I was pregnant, went the drs. They did the heart thing on my belly and couldn't hear anything. So, they did an ultrasound and no heart beat. I had another ultrasound at a different place...no heartbeat. there is when i found out i was pregnant with twins. I was heartbroken again. I went back to my dr and she gave me pills to get rid of it. It didn't come out because i was supposed to take the whole bottle without knowing and i didn't. SO i was given the pills again and she told me to take the whole bottle at once and if that don't work, i would have to have a dnc. I took the pills and hrs later i cramped up so bad, that it made me fall to my knees and something fell out. Went to the bathroom (my husband helped me get there) and there they were. The both were together and turning a blackish green color. It was gross. they were dead for a long time and i didn't know it. I look back on all of my babies that i had lost and wonder what they would have been and what they would have looked like. I am grateful for the idea of loosing them before i would have given birth to a still born. I think if i would have a still born that i would just die from being in so much agony. I couldn't handle it . I think about my babies i lost all the time and i look at it too that one day they will come back. God says that once they are concieve they were going to be. God knows who you are before you are born, he knows who you are while in the womb. So, you will get to raise your baby that you lost, the same as i will and everyone else will. God will resurrect them when it is time to do so. Read it in your bible. I also think about all those who were aborted and the mothers of them will be raising them. How are they going to feel when they look into their innocent eyes and see their baby they murdered?
I'm sorry you have no support with this tragedy. I know how you feel on that too. My husband was there for me, but my family (mom and dad and sister) wasn't. i get upset about that because I had 2 miscarriages before my sister ever did and they never asked me how i was or anything. My sister had hers and they all was there and oh my sister could have died from having the miscarriage that all said. I felt for my sister, i knew what she was going through, i was there for her, even though noone cared about me. I told my parents, that yes my sister could have died and what about me, you didn't think about me. I could have died too. It is a tramatic experience to go through a misscarriage.
I will also have to say to you. My aunt had a misscarriage and she bled and decided to have a dnc done and she made a mistake because yes she lost a baby, but she had another in there that was still alive. Who knows you could still be bleeding from the miscarriage, which can take a while for it all to come out, but you don't know if you would have had 2 in there. You will be fine, it will take time realizing that your baby is gone for now and it seems to me that your heartbreaking never stops because you always will wonder until the day God hands him/her back to you in perfect health. I'm sorry for your loss. May God give you comfort through this horrible time.

Terina - posted on 05/10/2012

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sorry for your loss , i too had a miscarriage at 13 weeks and felt if im honest pretty alone, i had 10 yes 10 of my accquaitances/friends expecting all of us within 3 months of each other im pretty sure there was something in the water that year ! , i had crap support from friends who didnt have kids i guess not because they were heartless but how can they understand really, i had a mil who told me not to bother trying again ( i had a boy of 19 months at the time) my own brother told me the `baby ' was just a parasite and sister inlaw said well it wasnt a baby so why was i so upset !! a work collegue telling me dont worry you will soon forget ! and not to menetion m very quiet husband .
i felt guitly if i didnt grieve but felt if i did i was grieving too much as i had friends who had had still borns , its the worst feeling in the world to have it confirmed that your baby wont make it , some still argue it wasnt a baby but to me it was not in the sense you iagine a baby but it had a heartbeat and kicking legs at somepoint and im being completly honest now its 3 and half years down the line and i havent forgotten and never will, dec 15th as i had to have d n c bled for 10 weeks as i had a hemorage, and june 24 as that was my babies due date i have since had a daughter but support speaks volumes we know were not the only ones going through it but its such a dark place to be :-( , it never leaves you you just learn how to live with it i guess im the 1st to admit i didnt cope very well even though i knew deep down from the moment i found out iwas pregnant i always felt like it wasnt meant to be, my baby wasnt meant for this earth he/she got their wings early . i have the scan picture that i dont look at all the time but i know its there, if you ever need a chat or sound off message me . i know 1st hand how alone you can feel obviuosly among others on here . i hope you have support hun thats the one thing i feel cheated of just someone who knew what i was feeling and i wish i was on here when i was goiing through mine ! all the best x

Tameka - posted on 04/22/2012

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I understand what everyone is going through. I have had 2 miscarriages. The first one was at 20 weeks the babies heart stopped beating. Then i got pregnant with my now 10 yr old daughter. Didn't want anymore children right away after her so we weren't really trying. 3 1/2 yrs later found out i was pregnant with my now 7 yr old daughter. We wanted to try one more time. Found out April 28th of last yr that i was pregnant. At 6 weeks started bleeding went to the hospital and found out that i was having a miscarriage. July of 2011 i decided to get on the depo provera shot. I just couldn't deal with getting pregnant again and losing it. March 6th of this year we decided to get off the shot and leave everything up to god. I feel like if it is ment for me to have another child it will happen. I was blessed with 2 wonderful daughters. All i can say to everyone is to leave it up to god. He makes all things possible.

Jammie - posted on 04/19/2012

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I had 2 Miscarriages. I know what your going trough I thought i could never have kids. A good way to is maybe try again. Or think of the 2 kiddos you have and give them some hugs and love them:) Men dont understand. Well at least my husband didnt. I mean he did but not like I did.

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I'm so, so sorry for you experiences. Just try to remember, we are only given as much as we can handle and no more. It's so hard to move past the negative feeling but everything happens for a reason. Cliche', I know, but also very true, in my opinion...

Sarah - posted on 11/07/2011

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yes well i'm going throw the same thing at the moment. my baby will be due on monday. i have mixed feelings at the moment and no one in the house cares. i do not think they know how hard it is. i just want one more and that is the end for me. the same as i have been reading it is true we want to be pregnant now not later. when we have owe period it goes throw owe had are we having a other miscarriage or is just a period it is hard to tell the differences sometimes. i did a test when i was 1 day late so if i did not do that test i would of not know then i would not be like this. it is not a great feeling at all. i hate it very much.

Jacqualine - posted on 11/07/2011

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Am sorry to hear that but never give up because for God's willing every thing is possible

Jackie - posted on 11/03/2011

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well so its been a while since i posted this and after a few traumatic weeks it was finally dealt with, i experienced a lot of different emotions and after a short hospital stay and a few weeks at home i found myself sick again, back to the doctors and i found out i was pregnant again... i was TERRIFIED!! I didnt want to then i did then i didnt, it was an emotional rollercoaster... so after a few weeks i found myself bleeding again and i just broke down.. i was so upset and scared and depressed, i found out that i had a very rare condition and my doctors told me that less than 1% of babies will make it past the first trimester. I was pregnant with twins and one was eptopic and i also had a hemaatomia and so after lots of hospital visits and doctors appointments and ultrasounds and scans i found myself still bleeding but making it past the first trimester... long story short i had to have an emergency c section and my precious baby daughter was born 7 weeks early!! Shes now 9months old and so beautiful!! shes a true blessing and a miracle.. she should never had made it past the first trimester.. i think her baby sister and brother was watching out for her...

Annie - posted on 11/01/2011

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I am very sorry for your loss. Try to surround yourself with supportive people to help you during this difficult time.

ALANAH - posted on 03/19/2010

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this is proberly different to other people but after i misscarried i focussed on getting pregnant again it helped me i was preggo in a few weeks after miscarried and had a healthy bub

Emily - posted on 03/14/2010

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sorry 4 ur loss, i was gutted when lost baby at 3mths preg u be ok look forward and b strong for ur 2 babies in front of u, it will be hard for a while but i think miscarrige is way the body passes something that is not perfect, your time will come to have another ,dads are not so supportive i dont think they know how to react, one moment ur preg next minute ur not dont let this control u put ur head up for ur babies and try again

Joanie - posted on 03/13/2010

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First off I am truely sorry for your loss. I have had two and it hurt deeply both times. My daughter is who keeps me sane. I had my last misscarriage in November. I just found out the other day that I am pregnant again. I am so scared because of the past. Prayer and my daughter has helped me. Alot of emmotions run through your mind. People say God does not put u through anything that u can't handle. I pray that this is true. I think about both my children everyday, so does my daughter. She gets baby balloons just to let them go so they can go up to heaven to the babies. I have not told her about this child because if i miscarry again I don't want her to be hurt. I am haunted by the loss of both. It is kinda like the death of a family member it gets a little easier with time, but u always hurt some because it is ur child regardless of how far along u were. I will be praying for u.

Sarah And Ben - posted on 03/12/2010

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I dont think there is any quick fix for this, you never really forget it, just hurts less over time.It doesnt seem ike it now but it will get better believe me :) *hugs to you*

Jen - posted on 03/12/2010

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My heart goes out to you, I too miscaried around the same time in my pregnancy. I did not know I was pregnant until I miscarried that was very difficult. The physical symptoms bleeding etc..went on too long and I had to have surgery.

I prayed a lot and cried a lot and cried some more....I tried to keep busy and keep my mind off of it best I could.

It is really hard for others to relate when it has not happened to them, a lot of people told me well you didn't know anyway..really that did not make it better!!

Time heals, finding someone you can talk to helps, its been 10 years since my miscarrige and I still think of it from time to time,

know your not alone and I wiah you all the best

Nekeisha - posted on 03/12/2010

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From experience, I found prayer worked....Although, I had the support of family & the father, they didn't know how I truly felt. I began taking time for myself & spending time w/ God....I found comfort & learned how to accept the compassion others were giving. I learned to accept what they couldn't understand. You see people are not perfect & they can only give advice, so I stopped placing my trust in what they had no control over. And transferred that trust over to the one who could truly take care of the matter.

Helen - posted on 03/11/2010

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I have been through 7. The hardest was at 11 weeks. The phyical pain is nothing compaired to the emotional pain. My husband was very supportive and we grieved together. I have thyroid disease that took a long time to get under control. We always wanted kids close together but there is a 7 year gap between our little boy and out little girl. I was sure the baby we lose was a girl so we have planted a miniture rose in a pot that lives on the patio. It is not an easy thing to cope with and you will never forget the loss you have had but it does get easier. We have chosen to remember our lost little girl in the form of a rose, maybe you could do something simular to help you grieve. Im so sorry for your loss, you are in my thoughts.

Erin - posted on 03/11/2010

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i have always wanted lots of kids. after my 1st 2, both girls, were born i found myself pregnant again. we couldn't have been happier. at 6 wks i started to bleed, my dr. sent me for an ultrasound but at 6 weeks the baby is way to small to see so they had to do an internal ultrasound and we were able to see a tiny flutter from the heart. they told me i had an "implantation bleed" and not to worry. after 3 weeks of being told "this is normal, it happens to alot of women" i had a big gush and the baby was gone. it was the hardest thing i have ever gone through.my girls were the only reason i was able to get out of bed. the Dr. told me it was most likely caused by my thyroide condition so i blamed myself for a long time, i figured i must have missed a pill. i now have a 3rd healthy beautiful daughter and she has helped me come to terms with it. you say your family is unsupportive, would some be willing to take your kids off your hand to give you some time alone? i found it helped when i could get a day to myself once in awhile. if you need someone to talk to you can PM me

Leanna - posted on 03/11/2010

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Hi I have had 4 it is hard to have them. Every one copes different. It took me a while to be ok about them & to be able to talk about them. But when I did talk it helped me. I also got a cross tat with a rose for each m/c I had. Sorry for your loss.

[deleted account]

As difficult as this sounds, find yourself a support group that focuses on this issue. I know from experience that it's hard to put yourself out there for something like this but in the end, it's worth it. If there is nothing in your area, there are tons of sites online that offer community support.



I am really sorry you're going through this. I know it's tough.



Sometimes all you need is someone you can relate to, who has gone through it before.

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