my 4 year old in costantly in trouble at schoo.please help

Rebecca - posted on 01/26/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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my almost 5 year old son is constantly gettin into trouble at school EVERY day...i dont no what to do to encourage him to stop been so bad at school...anyone out there got some good advice

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Sabrina - posted on 01/29/2011

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Try getting to the heart of why he is acting that way. You might want to meet with his teacher to discuss the situation and get recommendations from him/her. Also try asking your son the following questions: 1. What was going on? (What is the situation when he got in trouble?) 2. What were you thinking and feeling as it was going on? 3. What did you do in response? (What was your behavior?) 4. Why did you do it? (What was your heart motive? What were you trying to accomplish?) 5. What was the result? (What were the consequences? ) Maybe talk with him and see if he can come up with a better way to respond to the situation the next time it happens.

Lisa - posted on 01/27/2011

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Kids do not "act" they "react", ask the teacher what sparks the behavior. There are several strategies to try when it comes to behavior. First, ask teacher for a recommendation since they are there to observe the behavior. Use positive reinforcement for positive behavior first. Punishment is unlikely to work. Work on building social skills, does he have a friend in school who is positive- pair up more often. Try playdates with this student. Observe your own child. Is he able to play with others successfully? Can he only work by himself? Every child is unique and learns differently- find out what he likes.

Rebecca - posted on 01/27/2011

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by bad i mean he is hurting other children in the class and not listening to anything his teachers tell him...
NATHIFA there is definatly nothing new in our home life that could be upsetting him as everything is the same as always here...both my hubby and i have tried talking to him and explaining that its not good to be in trouble all the time but he never tells us anything, so i have noi idea what else to do to cut down this behaiour

Hayley - posted on 01/27/2011

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He could be learning this behaviour from other kids at school. Its a pain especially when you put so much into making sure they know how to behave properly :(

Nathifa - posted on 01/26/2011

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As the other response said being "bad" is a broad term often misused. Are there any changes at home or otherwise that might be causing him to look for attention? My 4 yr old has also been having some behavior issues since the birth of his baby sisters. It is frustrating at times but by understanding that it is his cry for attention that he thinks not just one baby but twins are taking from him, we can try to target that and not just look at him as being "bad". Good luck sometimes just trying to talk to him more and spend time and do activities can reduce his need to äct out".

Karla - posted on 01/26/2011

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Tough to answer, 'being bad' could mean anything from can't sit still, to punching other kids.

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