My 8 yr old daughter says she has no friends at school, what should I do?

Shelley - posted on 12/02/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter says the kids don't like her at her current school. She'll be switching schools at the end of December so maybe it won't be a problem anymore, but just in case it happens again at the new school I want to have some solutions. I've talked at great length with her about it, she says the girls are really mean to her and call her a tattle tell. I think this is mainly because a bunch of girls were really bullying her and it drew the attention of the school and they got in trouble. I think a large part of the problem is that she is very independent and when she doesn't want to play something she just opts to play by herself, so the kids have stopped asking her to play with them. She's extremely smart, silly, sweet and kind...she often stands up to older children or bullies that are picking on the younger children, which has made her a bit of an outcast in her grade. I've thought about having a slumber party after the move if the problem persists at the new school? Any suggestions or help would be really appreciated...its breaking my heart because she is so sad somedays.

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Janine - posted on 12/07/2009

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My son has said the same thing.



I handled it by asking him if there were any kids that he would like to play with after school one day. So I found his mums number and got in touch with her and organised a play date. So they got together and I was talking with this mum, and she spoke with her son and apparently they've been playing together at lunch time and are starting to build a little friendship. I dont' know that they are going to be best friends but at least he has someone to play with at lunch time. He is 8 too.

Stacy - posted on 12/06/2009

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My son is the same way, since he was little, he was happier left alone for the most part. I noticed that he doesn't have many friends, as his little sister has had many sleep overs birthdays, ect... I have put him in an after school program, witch seems to help. The program is at his school, and with the kids attends to school with. He is also in karotea, and gymnastics. Try to put her in some activities where she will be around other young kids.

Shelley - posted on 12/03/2009

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Thanks ladies for all the great advice, I will certainly try all of the above and let you know how it turns out!

Erin - posted on 12/02/2009

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My son has said the same thing. I met with his teacher and the school counselor and talked to them about my son's comment. They assured me he had friends and proceeded to list some of his friends. I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, some kids weren't very nice to him and he reacted by saying he had no friends. But overall, more kids wanted to be friends with him than not. I would say get in touch with her teacher and find out who she plays with. Then when she tells you she has no friends, you can lovingly remind her of her friends (providing the names) at school. If she truly doesn't have friends, maybe you could throw a party for her and invite kids from her class. :o) Trust me, she'll love it! It doesn't have to be a fancy party, maybe games and treats or something fun. Hope this helps.

Sharolett - posted on 12/02/2009

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I agree with Rebecca. You can't do anything about the other kids. I know you probable do this but let her know she is not in the wrong. It is good to stick to what you believe in and have been taught. I wish you the best of luck.

Rebecca - posted on 12/02/2009

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The real problem is that you can't do much about other kids and the way they act. Just keep letting her know how loved she is and how proud you are of the choices she makes. Hopefully it will be better when she changes schools, but the slumber party idea sounds like a good way to go. Then the other girls get a chance to get to really know her in a setting she's comfortable in, and they can see what a great person she really is. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

Erin - posted on 12/02/2009

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My son has said the same thing. I met with his teacher and the school counselor and talked to them about my son's comment. They assured me he had friends and proceeded to list some of his friends. I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, some kids weren't very nice to him and he reacted by saying he had no friends. But overall, more kids wanted to be friends with him than not. I would say get in touch with her teacher and find out who she plays with. Then when she tells you she has no friends, you can lovingly remind her of her friends (providing the names) at school. If she truly doesn't have friends, maybe you could throw a party for her and invite kids from her class. :o) Trust me, she'll love it! It doesn't have to be a fancy party, maybe games and treats or something fun. Hope this helps.

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