my daughter is untidy

Jaimie - posted on 02/11/2009

Okay so I guess I need to play the devils advocate here, I agree a room needs to be CLEAN I mean no dirt, food, dusted etc,etc. I have two kids, 9 & 6 both of them used to have really messy rooms. I shut the door. I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) therefore I require everything to be spotless, well organized an just how I like it. Their rooms have always been somewhere that they can play, and just be kids, the rest of the house is off limits to the messes they tend to make. Anyway, they both outgrew the need for disaster, in their own time on their own terms.

Chris - posted on 02/11/2009

I have the same problem with my 4-year-old daughter.  So far, the only thing that has really worked is that I changed the rules in the house.  We cannot play outside, have friends over, or watch TV until all the rooms in the house are clean.  At first, she didn't clean up, she just sat in there and played, but when her older brothers got angry because THEY couldn't go outside either (because mommy can't be in two places at once) the peer pressure got to her. 

We also took just my daughter shopping for bins and baskets for her toys and let her pick them out.  She is doing a lot better with the picking up now.  It's almost like she would have rather had her toys on the floor then in an "ugly" bin. . . . once I gave her the control about where things belong, she seemed to get a lot better about it.  One thing that I do have to say is that "tidy" is in the eye of the beholder.  For me, I hate to have things cluttering up the tops of dressers and things like that, but my daughter likes to put her things on her dresser so that she can see them, once I let go of that fight things got a lot better. 

Remind your daughter that it's her room, and that she should take care of it.  Then help her to decide where things belong and allow her the freedom to put things where SHE wants them, but only the first time.  Then tell her that the next time you will not help, but that you expect her put everything away so that her rooms looks just like how it does when you are finished.  I would NEVER clean her room again, unless it's to throw things into a trash bag.  She might just think that if she leaves it a mess long enough, Mom will come and do all the cleaning for her. . . which is a very hard habit to break (on both ends), but eventually she'll figure it out.

Mary - posted on 02/10/2009

I have 4 kids and the rule in my house is 30 minutes or it goes in the trash. Anything that I think they should keep (special items from Grandma or whatever), I put into storage. There is no debate about it in our house. It's clean or it's gone. My 2 year old has had screaming fits about tossed items enough times that even he learned to keep it picked up. Don't be afraid to be strict.

Lisa - posted on 02/08/2009

My 4yr old was begining to be the same way, make a big mess and refuse to clean it up. So I started her a chore chart, with a small allowance at the end of the month. So far its been working well, (we've been doing it for about a month) she cleans up w/o much fuss and gets excited about getting points on her chart, the last few days she's even been offering her help to me for extra points! She thinks its fun and at the end of the month shae can buy herself soemthing fun if she chooses, which also teaches her alittle about money. Hope that helps! Good luck!

Kirsty - posted on 02/08/2009

it must be my son is not untidy at all he has his moments but nothing like madam lol she helps round the house its just her room im wondering if its because its her room and she thinks shecan keep it how she likes coz its her own space

Michaela - posted on 02/08/2009

I think it may be a "girl thing", my six year old is always in her room playing, I think that it's better than staring at the television. Try getting her to tidy up with you, maybe have a sort out of her toys.

Kirsty - posted on 02/08/2009

iv thrown bags of stuff out but theres my other daughters toys in there too but she puts hers away n shes only 2 was thinking bout putting some shelves high up on wall so she cant reach them n needs to ask me to get them n i will only do it if she has put other things away first

Angie - posted on 02/08/2009

Take EVERYTHING that isn't put away. I have taken trash bags and taken every thing but the furniture out of the room. Usually, my kids are pretty good about keeping things picked up - except my 16 year old son - but when things have gotten out of control I am very tough and I stick to it! I make my kids earn things back ONE THING AT A TIME! We have also gotten rid of a lot of things when we realized that our kids just have too much which has helped a lot. The only toys my girls have are build-a-bears, Polly Pockets that fit into a bin, and Little Petshop, that also fit into a bin. Our lives are much less stressful now! Good luck, she's still little and will learn over time how to take care of her things.

Kirsty - posted on 02/08/2009

thanks iv tried the takin things away but she hasnt got a favourite item so its hard lol she just says its ok il play with this instead lol she has an answer for everythin

Mellisa - posted on 02/08/2009

I have an 11 year old and I am sorry to say we are still asking for her to clean her room. We have taken away her makeup and this is sort of working as she won't get it all back all at once only bit by bit. When she was younger I tried taking things from her, things that they love and locking them away. Telling her that she will get it back when she keeps her room tidy. Giving them a reward, doesn't have to be big just something small when she has done her room and as she gets older spread it out to when u keep your room tidy for two days then u can get something and then u can spread it out for three days. Try this can't garantee it will work but u have to do something. She will need help at first as she is only young, show her where things go but try not doing it as she will never learn. She will be upset but try to be calm this will take time.



Good luck!