my daughter started her period and would like some advice
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Amanda - posted on 09/24/2012
I agree with what everyone else is saying. Don't sugar coat it. Tell her what is going to happen, and let her know it is normal. I actually explained it to my 11 yr. step daughter when she was 9. She started having pretty severe mood swings, but they always happened around the beginning of the month. I saw that as being a clue that she was gonna start soon. Her mother kept telling everyone that she wasn't gonna start until she was 13 or 14. She never saw the signs, and she was the one that had custody of her. I noticed it during our summer visitation with her. I told her exactly what would happen and that when it did happen, not to be surprised. Both her dad and I told her not to be afraid to tell us about it either, that we needed to know so that we could get her the supplies that she would need. She finally started this past December (it was a year after I had the talk with her), early in the month, just as I suspected. And she wasn't afraid to tell me and her dad about it either. She practically announced it to everyone at her sister's birthday party. And for once, she stuck up for me when it came down to her mom.
The other thing that helped was when she went to school the next day, and told her nurse, she was given free supplies and little booklets that had pictures and explained everything. It backed everything that I had already told her, but helped her understand the whole process a little better. And to make her feel even better, and not "abandoned" by her dad, he went to the store and bought her pads and pantyliners.....by himself. She was very happy to see that her dad didn't feel awkward about it. (So she thought! He hated it but did not want her to feel funny around him just because she was growing up.)
See if there is anything that her school has that will help explain everything to her, and just be honest with her.
Sophia - posted on 09/21/2012
ALWAYS MAKE SURE HAVE WET ONES TO HELP YOU FEEL CLEAN AND DONT FOR GET YOUR PADS AT HOME. CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU LEAVE OUT FOR SCHOOL,CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU LEAVE SCHOOL. IF YOU DONT HAVE TO WEAR UNIFORMS WEAR A LONG TOP AND BLACK / BROWN BOTTOMS.WEAR A GOOD FITING UNDERWEAR THAT YOUR PAD WILL STAY IN PLACE. HAVE A CUTE LITTLE BAG TO HIDE YOUR PAD IN SO YOU CAN TAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING AT SCHOOL.
Indubitablydana - posted on 06/01/2012
My daughter is going into middle school next year and they are not allowed to carry purses or backpacks. I am worried about this from the point of view regarding girls and having their periods. Somebody said put a tampon in your bra online, but she is only 11 and doesn't have her period yet so when it starts she will need to have pads! It almost forces girls really young into having to wear a tampon and I'm really not sure this is healthy!
Rose - posted on 04/16/2010
My daughter is 11, she hasn't started yet but she probably will very soon. Anyway, she and I had a talk about it the other night. I explained why it happens and how to manage things. She didn't say much but let me know that it's very embarassing for her. I assured her that I am a girl too (moms aren't girls) and that she doesn't have to be embarassed and can ask me anything. She seemed calmer about things afterwards. The small purse with supplies is a great idea as well as the extra clothes in the locker.
Eileen - posted on 04/14/2010
When I was 9, my mom left a pamphlet on the back of the toilet seat. I don't recommend that method. When my elder girl reached 9, I found a book on anatomy, and discussed the difference between girls and boys. My husband had already taught her what to do it a boy touched her in a way she didn't like.
Our family is a little different from most. Because of my background in sexual abuse, we started talking about these things as soon as she understood the words. She's now 16 and seems to be quite well adjusted.
A boy tried bothering my 11yo girl today. She put him in a head lock and expressed her displeasure at his actions. She started her period a few months ago, and beyond her inherited PMS, it doesn't bother her much.
Brandy - posted on 04/14/2010
I highly recommend a book that you and your daughter could sit down and go through together. It is called The Care & Keeping of You: The body book for girls. It goes through all the changes during puberty, including starting your period. My daugher loved it because it was written in a way she could understand. It sparked many questions that I was able to answer for her. We were able to have a great discussion about it. I got it for her last year when she was 9 because I saw early signs of puberty. Now that they have had "the discussion" at school she has read through it again with many new questions.
Brooke - posted on 04/13/2010
First things first, you need to make sure she knows what it is and why it is happening. That way she will not be frightened. If you feel to embarrassed to talk to her har about it, ask a family member or a friend if they will do it, or a female teacher/coach that she trusts. If you do talk to her about it yourself (the best option) then there are plenty of books available to help you out. A few women have actually told me that they learned something themselves when researching periods and sex with their daughters. And yes, this is the perfect opportunity for you to go shopping together for a purse for her. Some cultures even make a ceremony out of it, a sort of womanhood celebration. This can involve just you two, or if she is not embarrassed she could invite other women in her life who she looks up to.
Alicia - posted on 04/13/2010
I HAVE 4 GIRLS, AND MY OLDEST IS 12. SHE HAS NOT GOT IT YET, BUT I VISIT WITH ALL OF THEM ABOUT IT NOW, AND ANSWER ALL THEIR QUESTIONS. IN THE LONG RUN I PROMISE IT WILL MAKE YOU SO MUCH CLOSER TO YOUR DAUGHTER IF YOU ARE OPEN AND HONEST WITH HER. THEY DO MAKE SMALL ENOUGH PADS TO FIT IN HER POCKET TO SNEAK TO THE BATHROOM IN SCHOOL, AND THIS AGE THE SCHOOL TEACHERS ARE VERY UNDERSTANDING. GOOD LUCK!
Shari - posted on 04/12/2010
I started at the exact same age and my first one made me so sick. It was shortly after that, when I started carrying a small purse with me that had all my feminine supplies in it like the other ladies said. Have a supply of things in there, I used pads they just made me feel safer so I knew there'd be no leaks and I had deoderant (sp).
Sherron - posted on 04/11/2010
my daughter started to at 12 this past Jan. and she started at school and did not tell no one and she was like that all day and I stress her taking more than one pad with her and she likes stayfree overnight thin
Tammy - posted on 04/11/2010
I have found that my daughter feels more comfortable wearing overnight pads even during the day while she is on her period. She doesn't worry so much if there is going to be a leak or anything. They make pads so much thinner now than we all started so that is alot better.
Kellean - posted on 04/11/2010
I started when I was ten. I always carried a kotex in a small purse in the bottom on my back pack. Have her carry it with her most days. Like Christine said periods at this age can be unpredictable. If I had the room I would also have an extra pair of sweats or pants in my locker just in case I would stain. Staining at this age can be devastating. Yes, kids still tease about this stuff. A lot of times if the teacher doesn't let her leave the class you as a parent may need to talk to the teacher about it. Especially if the teacher is a female, she would understand better. I wasn't allowed to use tampons at that age because my doctor was against it. My cousin was allowed to and she was sick from time to time from it. If you are unsure which way to go on that I would talk to your family doctor or pediatrician. They will always know best on how to go about that. Good luck!
Rhonda - posted on 04/10/2010
its that time to shower more then bath.shes gonna have to understand its not just a period..you have to take daily showers wen its that time and keep clean.and carry a lil purse with her deodorant and pads/tampons...shes on her way to becoming a young lady now.so i would just say to make sure your doing the showers and deodorant a little body spray dont hurt after a shower and to goto the bathroom more often.its a little confusing at 1st but you get used to it quick and as long as mom is there for questions then it should go through fine.i was raised by my dad and i didnt have anyone to ask anything it was really hard.i think the advice of dont be embarresed you are becoming a young lady now and get a neat little purse and carry feminem products all the time.and it does make you feel better when you are on that time to always make sure you shower in the morning and shower at night keeping your bnody tidy at that time feels alot better.you know how when your about 9-10 -11 or just ahvent started yet and you can just throw on the body spray and tidy up in the mirror well when you get to that age where you have started its good to get in the habit of waking up and not just tidying up in the mirror and putting on the makeup and spray but its better now to wake up and shower then tidy up.especially when that time month is there.shower at morning and b4 bed when you are on it make you feel comfortable and you dont have to worry about feeling sweaty or lil untidy cause you know you showered b4 school and it helps alot..its kinda hard to explain ..but keeping up on body at that time is relieveing to yourself and prevents embarresement wen your in young school age
Joyanne - posted on 04/09/2010
One of the best books that deals with this topic is called "The Care and Keeping of You". It is published by American Girls and it deals with this and many other special topics for girls in a matter of fact and wonderful way. My 13 year old has had it since she was 10 and she has really liked it. I have purchased supplies for my daughter but she hasn't started her cycles yet. I think the key is to treat it like it is normal, because it is and to also celebrate how this event makes her unique. I have had my daughter carry supplies with her as well, so that is a great idea from the Teacher who responded. Save coupons from now on.:)
Christine - posted on 04/08/2010
Well, I'm a sixth grade teacher and I deal with this type of thing all of the time. I always tell my students that they should carry a small purse with them to class with their feminine supplies in it at all times. With girls this age, their periods are unpredictable and many times they are caught off guard when it starts and that's every young girl's nightmare... you're at school, you've started your period, and you have no supplies with you. So, if you're always prepared, you won't have that problem. Also, try not to be too self-conscious about it. Especially not with your female teachers. Remember, we're women and we have dealt with this situation ourselves. It's a perfectly normal and natural thing and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. So, don't be shy if you need to ask to use the restroom (I know many teachers don't want to let students out of class and may tell them to wait, but my girls know that if they're needing to go b/c they're on their period that they just need to let me know).