My kids DO not listen to me EVER. Any suggestions

Darlene - posted on 01/23/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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They are ages 5-9. Two boys the youngest and one girl. I am losing my mind here. I am tired of stressing, tired of screaming with out an end. I have done everything possible. I have been consistent. I have got down to their eye level. I have lowered my voice. I have done a reward system. I have taken away the best and all privelages. I have taken away everything pretty much. All I get in response. I don't care. I didn't want it anyway. I never liked it. It's not mine anyway. That doesn't hurt. They scream. They are loud. They are absolutely defiant. I am completely burnt-out to the max with cleaning up and re organizing. My stuff has been broken to many times. They do not respect me or my privacy. I have no outside help from no one. I am tired of this. Is there any one else who has gone through this and found a solution?

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Gulay - posted on 12/01/2013

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Omg!!!! I feel like I just read my very own words.....my kids are 11 and 9 and they are adopted. my 9 year old has adhd and my 11 year old is very sassy......I feel like I repeat myself a million times and they don't hear me......I yell, I scream, I curse, I threaten, I spank and then I just sit and cry and cry and just try to get them to feel a little sorry for me......and just maybe behave?!?! if I hadn't had them both tested, and didn't know they were of average intelligence, I would think they are both mentally challenged (i'm serious here)....like nothing registers....ie, we are driving in the car with seatbelts on, I turn around, they are now off.....I pull over and ask them to put them back on.....then turn around a bit later......OFF!!!! WTF!!!!! is it me, or my kids......or are all kids like this?!?!? I need help!!!!!

Betty - posted on 04/25/2011

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I am having the same problem with my children. Girl age 6 boy age 8. I have spanked, taken away all their toys, kept them from going outside and I have done the time out thing. Spanking they laugh at me, not going outside cause they wont stay in the yard thye just destroy this inside, and time outs they screm punch walls stomo the floor slam the doors and I have had to carry them to the time out spot with them kicking a screaming at me the whole time. My children do no respond to any form of punishment or meds for ADHD. My daughter has gone as far as kicking her grandmother, hitting and kicking one of her teachers, hitting me, and last year got kicked off the bus for fighting. I have taken parenting classes and none of that works with them. I have used suggestions from DFACS, teacher and their doctor with no luck at all. doing the gluten free diet is hard because we live in a small town and that stuff is very hard to find and when I do it costs to much to do that. I am at my wits end with it. I spend personal time with each one every day, so does their dad and we spend time with them together as well. I NEED HELP AS WELL!!!!

Stephanie - posted on 01/25/2011

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I don't believe there is anything wrong with spanking but I also don't believe it's for all children. For example my own. They usually don't hit but when I tried the spanking they started hitting each other and us. We tried restrictions but just found that would just anger them and fuel the fire.

For example impatienc. I'm always in a hurry and I could not figure out why my son was always telling us what to do and giving attitude. "I want a drink now," Until one day, as I was rushing us all out the door, I heard myself say "let's get moving now."

As parents we are all stressed, over booked, and under rested. It's easy to say. "In a minute" or "not right now."

I am not sure what your current situation is but maybe the problem is similar to the ones I've had. When was the last time you listened to your 5yr old tell you a random made up story? Like really listen, not while doing dishes, or loading laundry. It's very difficult to put these small things first in our lives when there is so much to do but sometimes these small things are the things that matter the most.



Despite what the problem is persistance is always key. Pick one discipline and stick to it. No warnings, no counting. Other wise you'll spend your days counting to 2. They know the rules. There is no reason to be reminded.

It seems taking things away only fuels the fire for as well. Try time out as I did. Even for the 9yr old. Time doesn't start until they quite talking. (eventually this will keep them from mouthing off) Criss cross apple sauce hands in your lap. 1min for 1yr. The first few times you might have to physically put them in time out for hours. It will take awhile. Days or even weeks. It won't be easy but the best accomplishments rarely are. Persistance always pays off.

Good Luck.

Katherine - posted on 01/24/2011

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get out of the house, go for a walk. If you are stressed and burnt out so are your kids. take them to a park or out in the desert and let them run and be kids. they need a break too just like you. take a time out from life. play a game rad a book of thier choice or watch a movie. if you have concrete draw and play with chalk. put music on and dance. you are overwhelmed. Take a break!

Lakisha - posted on 01/24/2011

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I have found out if those things thast you have mention is going on, maybe you should spend more individual time, with all of them. And start spanking them. For the bible says spare the rod spoil the child. I give my children three stikes and your out. The first is a warning, the second is a mild punishment like stay in the corner, or go to your room, or right x amount of times(how ever hold they are) that they will not do what ever they did. And the third time of misbehavin is the spamking. IT WORKS FOR ME,and I am a single mom ofg three, ranging from the ages 16 months to eight years of age. And the middle the child is 5, and the only girl. I have very liltle support from there father... I also agree with the dietry change. Because my oldest is ADHA/ODD WITH HYPER ACTIVITY. I notice when he has eating certain things in a large amount then his behavior has change. I have learn that and that's true with my youngest two, who have no behavior issues.

Candy - posted on 01/24/2011

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Time to spank their butts. In my opinion. Even though they say they dont care they do. You arnt keeping whatever you take from them away long enough. If they dont stop acting up in a week keep it 2 weeks and even longer if you have too. I would even go rent a storage unit if I had to so they wouldnt get it back for however long it takes.You have to get control over this now before they hurt you. They have no respect for you you have to get it.

Carly - posted on 01/23/2011

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My recommendation is a dietary change. My oldest was starting to act like that and the doctors told me she is ADHD. I looked up a natural solution (I don't personally like medicating my kids if there is a better way) and read that a gluten free diet helps kids with behavior issues. We went to a mostly gluten free diet (my husband and I eat snacks) and found it helped drastically. Its not easy but it worked for us.

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