my nine yr old daughter still wets her bed .what to do???

Puja - posted on 02/07/2010 ( 33 moms have responded )

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its fine if she does not haveany liquid late in the night......always i cannot restrict her. i would want to know-why does she not get up in the night on her own &till when ?

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Donna - posted on 02/13/2010

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This is directed to Julie Brown & I don't mean for it to sound nasty, but I'd like to explain to you why some parents use meds to help, sometimes, unfortunatly, drugs are the only way to go. I am very anti drugging children, but I have reached where I have no choice, I do it heavy heartedly for these reasons ... I have restricted drinking fluids, my nephew steals water from the cat bowl & even has been caught drinking out of the toilet bowl to get a drink, I've tried waking him to take him to the toilet, yeah, that works BUT with his ADHD & ODD once he's awake he won't go back to sleep, so if I wake him at 1-2 oclock in the morning, he doesn't go back to sleep, instead he plays in his room (by playing I mean, he rips his curtains, pulls the threads out of his carpet, rips his matress apart, has drilled holes in the walls with screws he's smuggled into his room etc) so as you can see, the medicine is the lesser of 2 evils here, esp as we don't own our home & now have to pay for all repairs my nephew has caused. An alarm can't be used, he'll pull it to bits (he has no toy cars because he has dismantled them all, he can't leave anything alone for long).

As I said, I do it because there was no other way, not because I want the easy way out. It has taken me 3 years to finally do this, he will be weaned off the drugs to where he can learn the feeling himself, but with a maturity level of a 3-4yr old (he'll be 9 in April) this is going to take time.

I have 3 daughters & never had the problems I have with my nephew so it's not like I have no clue as to what I'm doing, I just have a child who's brain works differently then most others & we have to work with what we have.

Kylie - posted on 02/13/2010

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some children cant hold their bladders as long as other children.my friends,daughter didnt stop wetting till around 11 years old.she was very scared of the dark and getting out of bed by herself at night.i agree with alot of other mothers here,and it sounds like your doing the best you can.restricting her drinks after tea time.and making sure she trys to go to the toilet before bed.you could try getting her up in the night and guiding her to the toilet.or their could be other issues behind it all aswell like stress,troubles at school or with peers.if all else fails taking her to the doctor could benefit,but also she could be embarased about it all too.good luck i hope you find a solution :O)

Julie - posted on 02/13/2010

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I can't believe the amount of people ready to leap for medication to stop this. The medication everyone is using restricts the production of urine at night but it should not be a long term solution. You need to train the brain to wake up at night when the child wants to wee. Restricting fluids and dragging the kid to the toilet in the middle of the night is not going to teach them. Get a bedwetting alarm from your childrens hospital or check with your doctor. They go on the bed and as soon as urine hits it the alarm goes off very loudly. The child must turn it off, not the parent and they must then go to the toilet and replace the wet cover on the alarm before going back to bed. The child must be motivated to do this or it won't work. This will work between 1 to 6 weeks. I have used it and it works! I got mine through the bedwetting clinic at the childrens hospital. In the small group of children that it doesn't work on you can then try the medication and see what happens. This was all the advice given to me from a bedwetting specialist. Restricting fluids, yelling, punishing, embarrassing are not solutions.

Jen - posted on 02/13/2010

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It's normal, my daughter wet the bed till the age of 11. the dr. said she has a small bladder. just limit her fluid intake after 6pm and make her go to the bathroom right before she goes to bed.. and don;t yell at her. it will make her very nervous and she won't feel comfortable about going to friend's houses to stay over.

John - posted on 02/12/2010

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Avoiding especially anything sugary in terms of beverages before bed time.. and as many have recommended, avoid drinking right before, and use bathroom once or twice prior to going to bed. To reduce amount of work for Mom, try a protective bed cover (waterproof). Avoid scolding her as it doesn't really help, they do it subconsciously of course. But positive reinforcement and praise when they do well, will reinforce the regimen. Hope this helps!

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Limit drinks after tea time - wake her to go to the toilet when you go to bed yourself & if it continues take her to your Doctor to make sure there is no physical problem - never make her feel guilty or the problem will increase .

Donna - posted on 02/11/2010

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I have custody of my nephew, he'll be 9 in April. He still wets his bed & I was getting majorly frustrated, esp when he said "It wasn't me, I don't know who did it" even though his pants were wet etc. My nephew has ADHD & ODD as well as an intelectual disbility so yelling, smacking or grounding were just not an option. We tried cutting back the drinks but he started sneaking them when he went toilet etc so that didn't help, the threat of pull ups (they're like a nappy pant) didn't faze him & using bed wetting alert machines, out of the question, he'd just destroy them. Even taking him toilet in the middle of the night didn't work.



I took him to his peadtrician the other day & we were given a script for Minirin tablets & WOW, the next morning he was dry YAY!!!! He has to take 1 tablet 1/2 hr before bed every night but that's not a problem. I hate medicating children but for everyones sake, it needed to be done.



the good thing about the tablets is that you will know within the 1st week or so if they will work for your child or not & if they don't, then you just stop them.



Good luck with your daughter.

Katherine - posted on 02/11/2010

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Don't worry she will out grow it. Generally it is hereditary and no cause for alarm. You already know to restrict drinks after a certain time. You may want to get in the routine of going to the bathroom two or three times leading up to bed time. Eventually she will stop.

Heather - posted on 02/11/2010

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I have a 13yr old that does too. I took him to the doc and they gave him a nose spray that he takes at night and it really does work. We have done all the other non medical things with no aval so we went to this extreme. He just is a sound sleeper and can't get up to go. I can't off the top of my head tell you what it is called but the doc will know what your talking about.

Jigisha - posted on 02/11/2010

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My son has the same problem, he is 8. We as a parent sat together with him & asked if anything was bothering him. First, he replied I have bad dreams & therefore accidents happen. Later he honestly said the night suit he was wearing was too soft & comfy. It made him too lazy to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Now before going to bed he decides what he is wearing & hasn't wet the bed since!

Lacy - posted on 02/11/2010

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i wet the bed until i was 11 [ eww right?] the day before i started 5th grade my brother told me next time i wet the bed he would tell everyone in the school. i NEVER wet the bed again. i dont know if this helps at all but just scare it out of her. and nothing to drink 2 hours before bed.

Tracy - posted on 02/11/2010

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This seems absolutely weird, but my 10 year old daughter would pee the bed, and since she has had her tonsils out...nothing! Not sure what the link was??? Good luck!

Kevyn - posted on 02/10/2010

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I feel your frustration! My stepson (who just turned 10) was wetting the bed on a daily basis until last year! It was very frustrating. But finally, we got on a system and it has really worked. We let him drink as much as he wants during the day. After dinner, no more drinks. The rules are, he uses the bathroom every hour throughout the day, even if just a little (we use the kitchen timer and remind him). He also has to go immediately before bed time at 8:30. Those measures cut him down to maybe once a week. What really pushed him over was getting him up once during the middle of the night for another bathroom break. VOILA! no wet bed/clothes/ashamed child = happy family :D He's got other issues but that is one that has finally been tackled. And it was BAAAD! Good luck to you!

Karen - posted on 02/10/2010

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I kno what ur talking about. My daughter who is 10 now, was using the bathrooom on her own, from ages 2 until around about 7. Then we noticed she was wettin the bed every night. We talked to the doctor about it, and she kept telling us (husband & I ) to stop giving her drink pass 6..... I did 4 a while and she sill wet the bed. So we started waking her up a night 2 use the bathroom.... that didnt work. We knew that it was more then just wetting the bed. After 3 or more new mattress and tons of sheets... we went back 2 the doctor, she then sent us 2 a urologist. I could keep going but the rode was long and still is..... So please get ur little one checked by someone that knows about bedwetting. some kids grow out of it and some dnt, and theres nothing wrong with her kidneys however, she have to use meds. to stay dry. sometimes it work and sometime it dnt. My family wish urs all the best in getting 2 the bottom of it. Stay strong.

Julie - posted on 02/10/2010

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I had to do this my son... Cut off all liquids after dinner. Then, you will have to wake her up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I know it sounds like a pain, but eventually she will get up on her own.

Amber - posted on 02/10/2010

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My son i almost 8 and just rcently stopped wetting the bed. I found out that his is ADD and bed wetting is something that is common with that. He went on a medication that would help him a night, but the med that was prescribed helped better. He has been on his ADD med since Sept and hasn't wet the bed since. It is true as well it is a heretitary thing, if anyone in your family or partners family was w bed wetter chances are that one of your kids will be.

Jayni - posted on 02/10/2010

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hi, my sons nearly twelve now an has always bed wetted, we tried restricting drinks, not giving fizzy pop, takeing him in the night, etc etc but it didnt work, he sleeps to heavely to wake up to go, this is proved wen he goes away with the school, hes not as comfortable, so dosnt sleep as heavily, so dosnt bed wet. hes been on desmotabs for a few years now, and very rarly wets the bed anymore, in fact its been several months an the doctors weaning them off.

bed wetting is very upsetting for a child, enbarasing, an they think there the only ones, but youd be surprised how many children actually do it.

if all else fails get her some pj pants (older kids nappys) make it a secret just between you an her.

good luck x

Julie - posted on 02/09/2010

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Wow...all these posts make me dread the next few years. My fiance's almost 6 y/o wets herself every night. She used to get up & go every night but now she just sleeps through the night and pees in her pull-up. Her almost 4 y/o sister is the same way. They both get no drinks at night, use the toilet before bed...and where pull-ups to bed because it's useless to hope they will wake up & use the potty. If we do sit them on the toilet in the middle of the night, they sit on the potty ASLEEP & will not pee!! Unfortunately, neither are fully potty trained during the day either. The 5 old has had a string of UTIs...due to her mother...another topic for another time. >:( Just frusterating!!

Samantha - posted on 02/09/2010

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My 8 yr old daughter still wet the bed most nights. She is a deep sleeper and will even still wet if she gets up in the middle of the night and goes to the bathroom. The best thing is patience and a visit to the pediatrician to make sure there isn't some underlying medical problem. Plastic bed covers and incontinence pads that go one the bed work well for keeping the mess contained. All the laundry can be a real hassle but its just something that passes with time. (unless cause by a medical condition) No matter what don't punish or belittle her for it. A childs self esteem is a major issue starting at this age.

LaToya - posted on 02/09/2010

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Maybe you should actually have her checked out by a doctor about it. My niece did the same thing for quite sometime. I think she wet the bed up until she was older than your daughter. Anyway, she did it every night. My sister took her to the doctor and found out that it was a phase of her sleep that she was in and it wouldn't allow her to be able to wake up and go to the bathroom. My sister was so relieved to find a reason for the problem. At first she used to think my niece was just lazy and nasty. Not the case at all!!! Eventually, it did just reverse itself. She hasn't had that issue now for years. Be patient with your daughter. She could simply just be sleeping too hard.

Brenda - posted on 02/09/2010

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I struggle with the same problem in my family and I found through the internet that if one parent wet the bed..chances are your child will also and the chances increase if both parents did which is the case with us. Apparently she will grow out of it...in the meantime we have a cover on her matress which makes clean up much easier...we try to limit fluid but find it hard to say no...when I'm thirsty I want a drink...and if it is needed to be talked about we do with humor...never to let her feel bad.

Theresa - posted on 02/08/2010

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What are some of the things that you have done to try and stop the bed wetting??? Do you limit her drinks before bedtime.. Have you tried to get her up a couple of times before you go to bed to get her to use the bathroom. Please reply.
thank you

Alisha - posted on 02/08/2010

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My 8 y/o has the same problem and he is about to be 9 in june the only difference between him and your daughter is that my son sometimes doesn't drink anything if he just eats too much and doesn't use the bathroom the bed is wet. My 5 y/o was potty trained by the time she was 2 fell asleep @ nite and woke up dry that lasted a year when I had my younger daughter she started wetting the bed again it is called secondary enursis this could b ur daughter's issue if she was fully potty trained when she was younger. You should ask ur doctor for a referral to see an urologist just in case there is a problem you can catch it in time before it becomes serious. Hope this helps you out a little bit, good luck!

Ala Ala - posted on 02/08/2010

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you might try to waking her up yourself in the middle of the night and force her to go to the bathroom. you might have to carry her. i know it is additional work for you, but it will pay off. this is what i did to my daughter. she is turning 6 and she does not wet the bed anymore. she wakes up on her own and goes.... you just need to get her used to the idea of getting up in the middle of the night. i leave the light on in the bathroom for her.

Heather - posted on 02/08/2010

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dont let her have anything to drink pass 8pm and she 9 ground her for wetting the bed

Angie - posted on 02/08/2010

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Make an appointment with your pediatrician to discuss this. It's possible that there are underlying health issues that are causing this.

Jennifer - posted on 02/07/2010

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I have heard that it is linked with sleep disorders (especially sleep apnea), but mostly later in life. You could have a sleep study done, just to check. Also, have you checked with a pediatric urologist?

Milagros - posted on 02/07/2010

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That happens sometimes my 6 yr old at times wet the bed. I have 2 cousins who was still wetting the bed they were 11 its something about the blatter wen they sleep but she should grow out of it.

Crystal - posted on 02/07/2010

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My sister have the same problem when she was younger, and it ended up being because she had kidney problems also. Hope u find something that works, and if you haven't all ready let her know shes not the only kid going through this

Nathalie - posted on 02/07/2010

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i struggled with that at the same age. the only thing that worked for me at 10 -and has worked with other kids in same situation- was called pipi-stop in france, not sure what it's called elsewhere, but it was like a nappy and the minute it got a drop it started ringing. I stareted to associate the feeling of peeing with waking up -which wasn't the case before and my parents had tried no drinks in the evening, all kind of doctors accumpture etc.- this worked within a couple of weeks!!! I could start doing sleep overs and all the other things my friends could do and I couldn't. it was fantastic.

Julie - posted on 02/07/2010

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hi Puja I agree with what Andrea says also remember it is very common and never be angry at her for it because she is not doing it on purpose

Andrea - posted on 02/07/2010

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Hi, my 9yr old son still occasionally wets the bed, the advice I was given was to restrain from drinks after tea time and visit the toilet twice just before going to bed. This does seem to work for my son , He is a very deep sleeper and at some point i know he will stop doing it.

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