My partner want's to adopt my son, how do we go about this??

Clare - posted on 08/24/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Hi, any help would be great. My partner and I are due to have our 1st baby together in the new year, and on talking about names today I said, I wanted the children to both have the same surname. My partner joked about getting married and I said he'd have to adopt my son, but we have no idea how to start going about it. My son's natural father hasn't seen him in 5 1/2 years and has since moved to .. I have no idea where lol. He is not named on the birth certificate. Please help thanx.

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Laura - posted on 08/24/2010

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hi, if i remember correctly, as the father is not on the birth certificate he shouldnt have any parental responsibility so you dont need the fathers permission so you should just be able to go to a solicitor and get it done fairly quickly hope it helps and good luck

Patty - posted on 08/25/2010

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My husband adopted my son, but we had to get permission from his biological father. My first step would be to contact an attorney. Ask for a consultation to make sure the child's biological father has no rights, and to make sure everything is done legally and not steps are missed! Best of luck to all of you! It's well worth it!

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Jenita - posted on 11/06/2012

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Erica - posted on 10/30/2012

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the bio father is in prison and facing life so I have been with my boyfriend for over 3yrs and one night i met the bio father thats how I got pregant so the bio father said get rid of it dont what anything to do with me and the baby so by boyfriend step up and want to help raise this child by now the bio father is all calling and his family is now calling I dont want him in this child life

if i married my boyfriend his name goes on the birthcertifcate does that make my boyfriend the legal father

Kelly - posted on 08/27/2012

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me and my partner want to do the same thing with my boy he is 9 and i dont no who his real father is but i been with my partner now 2 years and my son calls him dad so want to make it official but dont no how to go about it but looking at these comments looks like u have to see a solicitor

Clare - posted on 08/29/2010

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wow thank you all for your comments. I think the first thing we need to do is speak to a solicitor and make sure everything is done by the book. I haven't mentioned to my son yet about my partner (dad) adopting him, but will do after speaking to a solicitor. My son understands about adoption as my neice was adopted into the family by my sister and her husband. His bio dad moved out of the area when he was young, the only tie they have is his bio dad does pay every week throught the bank. There is only one way I can try and get in touch with him and thats through a joint friend of ours but if he's not heard from him or knows how to get in touch with him then I have no way of getting hold of him. So I think it's off to the solicitors we go to find out where we stand. When my son gets older I will tell him everything about his bio dad and try to find him if that is what he wants. On the other hand if his bio dad ever wanted to see our son I would never stop that either.

Once again thanks for all your help :-) x

Sherry - posted on 08/28/2010

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I would not say you don't know if the father if you do. If this goes to court and you do, you could face contempt charges on you. The father may come back later and want to internact with this child and find out what you did and then you have a big legal problem on your hand. Does the biological father know about your son? Do you know where he lives? Can you find out? The lack of contact may get you into serious trouble. Have you thought of telling your son later on that he is adopted. Not telling him may result in resentment later in life if he does not find out by you. My son has known since he was 4. When he turned 8, he wanted to meet his bio-father. if that happens, what plans do you have. These are things you and your b/f should discuss and agree on before making that final step. These things are for the better interest of your son. You want what is best for all of you too.

Sherry - posted on 08/28/2010

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My husband adopted my 1st child. We live in FL, so you might want to see what your laws are where you live at. Being married made it easier to go through with my husband being able to adopt my son. I believe you may want to consult with an attorney 1st. It has been a while since the father has been out of your childs life, so they may see it as adandonment. If he denies the fact this child is his, they may need a paternity test to prove he is the father. Have him served with back child support. That might make him think about making it an easier transaction for you and your boyfriend. But he may want to understand once he adopts him, he is fully responsible for him. I can never go after my ex for anything due to the fact I had his rights stripped and my hubby now has 100% rights. So if my husband and I ever divorced, he would be responsible for taking care of my son. If money is no issue for you, go for it. If so, you may just need legal assistance. You might also want to consult a counselor first to ensure what is the best thing for you and your family right now. Also check on the internet. It's amazing what answeres you can find out there.

Patty - posted on 08/26/2010

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Gina's comments are correct...after the legal paper work is submitted, follows the court date etc.

Gina - posted on 08/25/2010

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being adopted by my now dad and the only dad I've known. My parents had to contact an attorney for the state file the appropriate documentations and then we had to go up in front of a judge since me and my stepbrother and stepsister were older. we were asked if we were ok with the adoption. It was hard on me b/c my last name was changing and at the time I didn't want it to but I agreed in the end. The best thing is to find out your states own guidelines and procedures about this.

Juliana - posted on 08/24/2010

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Im in the process of doing the same thing with my 7 year old. You should check with an attorney but in my state, I had to be married to my now husband. My sons dad has never been there and he has seen him 2 times in his life. I would suggest terminating the biological dad's rights first and then letting your partner adopt your son. That way when your son is older and for some unknown reason that bio dad decides he wants to be there, you did everything legally and he cant come back and prove things otherwise.

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