My son will start Kindergarten this year and I am a WRECK!! Help!

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

I am SUPER nervous about my son going to Kindergarten! The school he will attend is right across the street from our neighborhood, but that does nothing to settle my nerves. We live in GA and there have been at least 3 incidents involving guns at schools here just in the past few months, and just last month a 14 yr old boy at a middle school shot a class mate. I want to home-school him, but no one else thinks it is a good idea. They say he needs to be around children his own age. He has never been in day care or preschool, but he is very smart. He can count 100, say and recognize his ABC's, read some small words, add and subtract number 1-10, knows shapes, colors, ect. He says he wants to go to school. He would probably start today if he could. I don't want to stop him from doing what he wants, I just don't know if I can handle it! I have terrible anxiety and worry constantly if he is away from me. Any advice at all would help! Am I blowing this way out of proportion?

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Jen - posted on 02/13/2013

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If you are truly interested in home schooling, you should try to find out more about it. It can be a good option, but only if done right. It's not just about how much academics your son knows - if you want to homeschool him you will have to make sure he has opportunities to be around other kids and to be active, etc.

However, it kind of sounds like you are being over-anxious. If this is really just about your separation anxiety (and lots of moms feel that way), then you should try to handle it productively. Meet with the school principal, find out what safety procedures they have for the kids, and try to calm down about it. It won't be healthy for your son if you stop him from doing normal kid things because of your nervousness.

Jakki - posted on 02/11/2013

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Well - I live in Australia and we have a much lower rate of violent crime than in the US, so maybe I don't understand the level of risk involved in being a kid in America, but I would look at it statistically....

How LIKELY is it that he will be hurt in kindergarten, compared to how likely he is to be OK? How likely is it that he'd be hurt in a car accident or catch a disease?

Maybe it is still very very unlikely to happen. I'd suggest - stop spending your energy on needless worry and enjoy the life you do have. Have you got a happy family, a roof over your head, food on the table, friends that care about you?? If yes - go and enjoy those things and and stop focussing on possible disaster scenarios.

Amy - posted on 02/10/2013

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If you are concerned about school safety I'm sure your school has an open house for incoming students find out what their policies are, and what safeguards they have in place for protecting students. Most schools have a safety plan that you can find on the schools website.

I don't know much about home schooling so I can't offer advice on that I'm sure you will get some other moms who have home schooled.

Jessie - posted on 02/10/2013

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I think you should let him go. Its an elementary school, and since the Connecticut shooting, they've been very particular and picky about safety.
Ask the teacher if she'll let him call you from the phone every once in awhile, I'm sure she'll let you do it.

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[deleted account]

Thanks Julia! You have given lots of good information and ideas. I wasn't aware of all these options! Thanks again!

Julia - posted on 02/15/2013

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You might want to check into financial aid. There is some out there. Also if you go to church and your church has a school there is usually a discounted rate for parishioners. If your church doesn't have a school but another church does your church might contribute to the tuition. I know the Catholic schools give discounts to all Catholics. If you are another religion it might be worth asking your church if they do anything like that.

Also, if you decide to home school there are a lot of home school groups where you can get together with other home schoolers for events and field trips. If your town has a parks and recreation department you are also entitled to those services so your son can participate in sports and so forth via Park and Rec or little league organizations. I know people who home school and their children are not isolated at all. They do sports and all kinds of great things with other kids. You do t need other kids in the room to learn how to read and write.

Children who are home schooled typically out preform children in public school on all academic measures. I work in a college and colleges are getting much better with recruitment and placement of home schooled kids. Although it can be much more challenging in rural areas where there are less resources for activities. I would look for some people in your area who home school and talk to them see if there is a community of other home schooling parents you can connect with. There are some home schooling associations online that might make a good start.

I would home school if I could. People who don't know a lot about home schooling tend to lack understanding about it. Choosing to home school now doesn't mean you can't send him to a more traditional school later. I know a lot of people who home schooled in elementary and then sent the kids to regular high school and the kids ended up in all honors classes. If you feel academically able and your son is receptive you can try it and start at school later.

Good luck.

[deleted account]

Thanks! I have considered private school, but the thing is we live in the country and have limited transportation (one of the cars isn't working) and funds at the moment. But once we get things straightened out I am keeping private school as an option. I attended private school for a little while, and I did like it better than public!

Julia - posted on 02/15/2013

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Have you looked at catholic schools or other private school options. My son goes to catholic school but only about half the kids are catholic many are people who would have otherwise home schooled because they didn't like the pubic school system for one reason or another. There is a muslim family and even a family with two mommy's, so there is diversity. However we are in the North East so everything tends to be a little more liberal here I think. here is just a copy of a reply posted else where about my son's school.

After reading some of the other comments I just wanted to add that in most states those of us who choose catholic school (or other private options) are counted as home schoolers by the state so it is a little different then the municipal run public school situations. The catholic school is much more likely to work with you on theses types of issues. That is the beauty of a small community where the parents have chosen to be part of it and find education important enough to pay for it versus an all comers buearacracy. Also, remember that K is the first year of school and it is the biggest struggle! At my son's catholic school as the kids get older they seem to get a little competitive about being good students. It is cool, not nerdy to be the smart kid and the kid with perfect attendance. At the second marking period awards ceremony the entire 5th grade class had high honors and most had perfect attendance. The two who didn't were devastated and had fought with their parents trying to go to school with the flu so they didn't miss perfect attendance.

I'm always amazed by the kids at the school and the parents. I hear about all the PTA horrors and bullying at my friends kids schools that have 400 kids and I am so happy that my son is in a smaller family like environment. We go out to the pizza place in town and see the basketball team from our school and the 7th and 8th graders greet my little first grader and he feels so proud that the big kids are his friends. It is AWESOME! A friend in the neighborhood went away on a business trip and I had her kids after school for a week and it just reaffirmed my choice of school. My son's homework, spelling words, etc is so clearly more challenging and he does it with ease.

Good Luck. Talk to the teach and let her know the challenges you are facing. Ask for her advice and support while your son gets over it, and don't worry he will get over it!

[deleted account]

Thanks Jen! That's the thing-keeping my nerves in check! I have decided to let him go, despite my nerves, because that is truly the ONLY reason I want to home school, and I don't want to be unfair to him.

[deleted account]

Thanks everyone! I guess I am over-thinking the whole thing a bit too much. Like you said Jakki, I am spending a lot of energy and worry over something that "might" but mostly likely won't happen. Thanks again!

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