My teenage son spends all day on the Xbox. How can I get him off?

Jill - posted on 04/01/2013

Xbox is an evil thing. To all parents of teenagers if you don't own one; don't buy one!!

Jody - posted on 04/01/2013

I am 13, my mom has an account on here and PLEASE READ this before you smite it down.
If your still reading, Thanks, I normaly do the same thing You should talk to him at night when he goes to sleep, He may not act like he is listining but he IS! trust me because i have done the same thing.You SHOULD however, have him go to bed at a decent hour such as 9:30-10:00. That way he is getting a good nights rest but if its summer than you should let him stay up later. I can under stand why he is swearing and it is because he is most likley dieing on a video game. But if you DO want him to get of at certan times, the best thing to do is to unplug your router when ever you want him off, and hide the cable. MAKE SHURE your IN CONTROL but if you want to make him happy and more kinder to you than go online and buy a thing called FPS freaks, their only 9:95$ and when you go up stairs, KNOCK on his door stating something like "i have a present!" and if he is hiding your purse, tell him YOU bought the xbox and YOU can sell the xbox. he will crack (but the xbox is a good way to make friends and when you take it away, take it away for a month ish and he will start acting kind, when he does at the end of the week tell him you have noticed it and he is ungrounded that will make him respect you and yet still be happy with you)

RPilae - posted on 03/20/2013

My son is 21 years old and after work he will confine himself in his room to play with other people or his friends on line.At this i asked him if he applied to the colleges since he wants to go to school,only to find out that he did receive letters from colleges for him to get an assessment. 2 colleges turned him down and one is upcoming.

Because of these games he was not vigilant on getting an assessment or concentrating on getting a degree instead of playing all night long. I'm frustrated. I told him if you want to be treated like an adult,then act like one. you dont want nagging then dont make me.It's tiring for me!..anyone who has a better approach?

Rashadpellot - posted on 03/17/2013

i blame you completely for not showing him proper authority. you need to gather everything that is important (phone, car keys, glasses, ETC.) ONCE YOU HAVE THING DONE, YOU TAKE THE XBOX, AND SINCE YOU HAVE ALL OF YOUR IMPORTANT THINGS, YOU DEMAND A RANSOM. 1 WEEK OF RESPECT FOR 1 WEEK OF XBOX. you and you only can set standards of how you want your son to treat you. also try a nice leather belt. or (when i was younger, my mom did this to me) we had seperate currents for each room. so she shut the electricity off in my room. i know not how to turn it on, lets just say t worked.

but on a serious note bet of luck.

Rashadpellot - posted on 03/17/2013

well i feel for you. as a male myself, videogames are very important to me. but i do not think that the way your son addresses you is correct. what you need to do is take the entire xbox.

Julie - posted on 03/13/2013

I strongly advise at his age and at this late stage you do not removing anything prior to telling him, it's sneaky, invasive of his personal space and not a way to start fresh if u want to gain respect back. He will fixate on that and hold it against you hindering the progress you want to make together. When kids know the risk prior to choosing the behavior they tend to make better choices. First Tell him it will be moved and then move it while he is gone

Julie - posted on 03/13/2013

Yikes! Unfortunately you created a monster and he's gonna strike back at this point. Laying ground rules before giving Xbox would have given him sets of boundaries that would have earned your respect. Now, his behavior is typical of to much screen time.
First, Xbox should be moved from his room and set up in a common area. If he pitches a fit, ask him who pays the membership and cable for the game? If he wants to pay for it (and the TV) he may at that point return it to his room and if a payment is late, it's back in common area.
Second, he has limited screen time allow based on your decision with option to "earn more time" 15 minutes a chore ( make a list to choose from.
Third, you tell him you will be keeping the remote until he can show some respect to you and responsibility for his space. Go with positive reinforcement of earning rather than punishments and taking away. I know it's rough. I have to boys and its a full time job for me, they would eat breath and sleep Xbox, if I let them

JS - posted on 03/13/2013

Hi Val,

I am sorry to hear what you are dealing with. Like Christine, my husband and I are also gamers (online MMOs), and what she posted is very wise advice. I would add to that the suggestion of taking it away from him till his behaviour improves and you two work things out, then when he earns it back, have the controls in place.

Everyone who responded about removing the Xbox is dead on the money - he's 14, take it out of his room while he's at school and stash it at a friend or relative's house if you must. You need to restablish your authority as the parent, and do your very best to keep calm when he throws a fit.

Kudos to you for seeking help about this on here! your situation is not at all uncommon - there are thousands of kids and parents in the same boat. May I also suggest reaching out to the school as well. Talk to your son's teachers, guidance counsellor, etc. I can understand that it must feel overwhelming to deal with this, and by establishing a network with them it not only gives you the support you need to deal with this, but also shows your son that you are not alone.

Best of luck to you, please keep us posted on how things progress!

Kameeni - posted on 03/10/2013

This is what i did with my son, not an Xbox360 but a PS3. At night whilst he was asleep i done a poo on it. When he woke up the next day he was confused and upset and never went near it again. Try it and let me know how it goes. xx.

Ashley Nichole - posted on 01/30/2013

Take it away for good ... disrespect shouldn't be tolerated.. you need to show him who the adult is and who the child is! Point blank.

Stacey - posted on 01/25/2013

My 14 yeaer old wont come off his xbox..he dont go out all weeknd to see mates now i think its affecting his social life, i want to take to my boyfriends this weekend but his just kicking up a fuss over it, ive been seeing my new chap for 14 months and my son has only spent 3 weekend. Its driving me crazy cus im starting to think my son dont like him, but maybe its that bloody xbox cus he dont mind staying at his nans weekend cus he can go online there. What am i ment to do

Michelina - posted on 01/15/2013

I have a similar story however it is not my son but my brother in law. He is 11 years old and he runs his house. It is absolutley pathetic. He wakes up very early and will remain on the xbox all day until late night hours. He doesnt even stop to eat, but his mother will allow it all and she practically brings it to him so he doesnt have to move. He will get up to pee maybe once a day because he has learned to hold his movements, afraid that he might miss something on xbox. He has become socially awkward and wouldnt know what it is like outside if it wasnt for school. As soon as he comes home from school he changes and goes right to xbox, no homework, no nothing. He will play until very late. He gets very rude and disrespectful, he curses way to much and he has zero discipline. If you tell him to do something he just simply will not and it is not enforced. He has zero responsibility. If you take him somewhere he does not know how to react and really play with other children. He is extremely violent especially towards his father. He pushes him around like its no big deal. He plays games that are simply to old for him, all day every day. He knows not how to take care of himself, do anything for himself, he has no responsibilities, no respect and again no sense of communication other than "online game talk". It is ridiculous- he has been doing this since he has been 6 years old and now in my own personal opinion he is already "ruined". He got his report card last week and not suprisingly he is failing everything even computer. He does not care for school because it is not enforced and if he "doesnt feel good" he just stays home and has an extra 8 hrs to play. I know it is not my child and not my place but this boy is babied beyond belief to the point he doesnt even have to soap his own washcloth or put on his water or even pick his own nose. ( not kidding) When his mom threatens to turn off the xbox he says "yah okay" and continues doing what he does, and it never goes further. Now she is a Puerto rican mother and with my husband he never got away with anything as a child. Its a nightmare and i feel terrible. Xbox is ruining children and in the case of my children, they get 1 hr a day after homework, and after playing outside and only if chores and reading and grades stay up. But they are also playing age appropriate games, if there is any type of attitude or any type of anger they have no xbox. very simple. If they want to cry and scream they can do it all they want. My kids can vouge when i say i do not give it what i say goes and theres no double crossing me. 5 minutes is exactly 5 minutes and i stay in my childs life. i do not allow any of my 4 to run my household or make the rules. I believe in discipline and my kids are enrolled in sports to keep them out of the house 24/7 ( in the sense of sitting on the couch) if your son does that to you, you need to stand up and take charge take the x box and let him scream it out to himself. Dont give it back the next day until he correctly knows how to act.

Miss J - posted on 12/10/2012

take the xbox away for a period of time. lets him know who is the parent. If he pushes you or retaliates call law enforcement....ask them to stop by to give him a friendly talk. Hopefully he straightens up

Lynn - posted on 12/09/2012

http://crazyatwork.wordpress.com/ I have experienced escalating similar issues with my 11 year old and did some online research then i created this blog to highlight the seriousness of the problem. you should really check it out, you are the tip of the iceberg. the kids literally get addicted to the games and the violent games create paranoia. if you are a Mom who chooses her battles this is a very important one to choose. we took control of the situation and ban the games for a month...all hell broke loose, with horrible threats and acting out....our son rebelled like I couldn't believe, but when that didn't work eventually he started asking nicely again and began behaving like himself, we even sent him to grandmas and grandpas for a few nights with our parents fully aware of what we were up against (we needed a break from the fighting and my parents live in the country so there is no internet or games there)...so now we are using the games to reward him and we drastically limited his time. He is so grateful for the 2 hours a week we have given him back on the one game, the turnaround is amazing. I discovered the games can be great currency when used as a behavioural reward and that month without them help my son put his gaming in perspective. we threw out the other game completely and he can earn an extra half hour a week if he brings home good grades and doesn't give us an backtalk. we are limiting the games to weekends only with a fresh start each week if the minutes are used or not, he can earn 2.5 hours of gaming time only. the other games like sports games he can play after school for example if he wants for a little while because he isn't addicted to them, but the problem games were World of Warfare and Black Ops. He got black ops back but is only allowed to play in zombies mode.

ps- my doctor when i dragged my son to her said that violent video games are the cigarettes of this generation and we have yet to know the full extent of their damage.

pps- never give a kid internet alone in the their room or they will be addicted to porn too

Heather - posted on 12/07/2012

My boys are only 8 & 9 and therefore very different from a teenage boy, but what I have done with my kids is set down rules and lists of expectations (relating to their attitudes, chores, school performance, etc.) and then wrote down (with them) a list of "privilages" and "rewards". (The point of this was two-fold. #1- it helps me to "keep up" with their ever changing interests and needs and #2- it was a great lesson for them on the many things that are a part of their daily lives that they take for granted or feel entitled to that they should appreciate.)

The problem I was having with them at the time, was completion of chores and a bout of fighting that they were going through. (If you feel this might work for you, you'd need to adapt it to the specific child and the specific result you're looking for.) What I did, was allow a visible point system (we've been doing this for five years now and the "visible point" system has changed several times. I've used charts and stickers, printed money, poker chips, and we are currently using scratch-off tickets.) to keep them motivated and feeling "rewarded" for the good that they did, but there was also a pay off for meeting all my expectations in a single day.

For instance.. in the sticker days, you could earn 1 sticker for doing your duties and 1 sticker for your attitude during that day. #'s of stickers added up to equal rewards, and the days they were earned on were inconsequential, however, earning both stickers in a single day also equaled a privilage i.e. tv time, computer time, PS2, DS, etc.(Rewards always cost $ or time from a parent, privilages are always free, and for us include just about everything but reading.)

During the play money days, they got "chore bucks" for chores and "happy bucks" for their attitude and the rules got switched to chore bucks buying rewards and happy bucks buying privilages. The scratch off's we're using now are perfect for their age, and may still be fun even for a teen. (I learned to make my own scratch off's on a sight I found on Pinterest.) I took an old box of my out dated business cards, drew 3 circles across the back of them, and put 1 point in 1 circle, a "P" (standing for Privilage) in another circle and then the 3rd circle ranges from another point (anywhere from 5 - 100) to cash rewards.

Now they collect points to earn rewards, buy privilages, buy back things that have been taken away, etc. Or they can have the privilage with a "P" winner, and sometimes walk away with $ in their pockets. The other thing I have loved about this is that before I painted over the circles with the scratch off paint, I had taped over them with packaging tape which makes them re usable (yeah for saving a buck!) and now instead of giving out a ticket for chores and attitudes, I can give them out for anything I want which has been verry fun for both them and me. What's that?? You brought in the trash cans?? Thanks. Go grab a ticket! Your study material came home on Monday?? Sweet. Go grab a ticket! You've done your chores, you've been respectful all day, you've told the truth, you've helped someone, etc??? Thanks! Go get a ticket!

Now they feel very appreciated because they are able to be praised constantly. Most times they end up with just one point, which on it's own isn't worth squat, but they don't complain, it just makes them want to do more to earn another one. For their ages, the "P"'s are still the best though. P's still buy 30 minutes of t.v., computer, gaming, whatever; but also include sleep-overs now and early morning basketball games with Dad.

I would imagine that if the world continues as it has, and we don't end up leaving this system, there would be opportunities for everything from school work, attitude, responsibilities, etc, to just remembering not to bring their phones to the dinner table. I hope that I didn't ramble on for too long, and that you are able to find something that meets his desires as well as his needs (which are not always the same thing) and gives you back your boy too,

What ever ends up working for him, you'll have to share it with those of us who still have smaller boys so we'll have more to try when our kids start going through it.

Good Luck!

Joe - posted on 12/05/2012

all your kids are bellends!!!!! get a life sadooossssssss

Gracelen - posted on 12/01/2012

My 13 year old daughter loves her Xbox and she is a only child and shunned by her peers, She gets on the xbox and stays on there all hours. I'm so worried about her and she has seasonal allergies so she can't always "Get outside" HELP!!

Linda - posted on 11/29/2012

sorry, I cant stop laughing, this is what I live with every day too, except I have twins that are 13 and both now have their own x boxes in their rooms so they can play against each other without fighting in the same room. I have , on most occasions stop them eating in their rooms.

In desperation I have taken the x boxes to my girlfriends house for a week.

We don't have many kids around here for them to play with so its hard to know what to do.

S. - posted on 11/07/2012

@ John very constructive ;) but I agree with you.



@ val like many here I'd take it away too and have him earn it back with good behaviour and I'd become a super bitch till that kid learnt some respect, lay down some rules and punishments for breaking the house rules make sure he knows that you are going to stick to your guns tell him it's fine if he wants to act like a shit that his behaviour effect no one but himself! And by acting like that effectively he's choosing to be punished!



I think at this age it's really hard, hormones are flying all over, they are to old for playing and to young to "fit in with older ones" they think no one understands them and you kind of do loose control but you really need to regain that control before its to late.

John - posted on 11/07/2012

your son is a twat

Philomena - posted on 09/05/2011

He is 14? Get rid of it. Don't just take it away or put it in the garage until he changes his behavior, throw it in the garbage. He will survive. You do not have to have video games to live. Kick his butt outside to go play basketball or something. And do not allow him to eat in his room anymore. You never know how long some of the food stays in there and the rodents that might get into his room because of it. Lay down the law!!!

Tracie - posted on 08/31/2011

Whoa. That is outrageous behavior. Why do you allow him to treat you so badly? Do you allow anyone else in your life to treat you this way? Time to take back control of your house and your dignity.

First, the gaming system is GONE. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the constant gaming that's making him aggressive and disrespectful.

Second, no more meals in his room. He eats at the table with the rest of the family. In fact, he is old enough to be in charge of MAKING dinner one night a week. If he can read, he can follow a recipe.

Third, extra chores around the house. He sounds like he's becoming a bit entitled. Time to remind him that privileges come with responsibility.

Fourth, do not tolerate him disrespecting you. Ever. If he starts down that path, remind him that you do not deserve to be spoken to that way and if it happens again, there will be unpleasant consequences. Then follow through if he does it again.

His attitude will not get better on its own. Teach him how to treat you and he will wind up respecting you and himself more than ever.

Good luck.

Jodi - posted on 08/31/2011

Really? It's called unplugging it and confiscating it. Make it clear what the rules are, sit him down and spell out your expectations, and the consequences if he disrespects that. Have a discussion with him about it in advance. THEN, if he can't respect your rules, he can't have the x-box. Forget hiding the controller. Find a way to remove it entirely, and make it clear that every time he disrepsects your decision to take it, it will be gone another week. And another. And another.



And make sure YOU hide your purse and keys.



Yes, you are going to have to put up with some crap for a bit. Hold firm. Don't let him see that it upsets you, just stick it out. Walk away if you must. But if you hang in there, it will eventually work. Make it clear that HE chose the consequences, because you and he had sat down and discussed the rules and consequences of breaking them, and he chose to broke them. It is his responsibility. You did not do this to him, he did this to himself. He needs to understand that too.

Catrena - posted on 08/31/2011

Well I had started out like that with the games for my son when he was younger but when I noticed how he rather play the game instead of chores,homework,etc, I got rid of the games quick but we really didnt play any games growing up. we played outdoor games that I enjoyed very much. He got involved in sports like in 3rd grade and loves it so i knew it wouldn"t been much of a problem at taking away his games. He's 15 yrs old now and hasn't thought about his game at home but loves it when every friday gets here for Friday night lights to light up and he play his game of football. Summer he stayed busy playing sports and working out everyday. I never had a problem of him swearing or even putting his hands on me. I guess i got control of him in his early ages. You can take control back might take some time and counseling but you can. Not saying it to be rude but it all starts from how you handle things in life as you where coming up and how you precieved it through your life as time progressed along the way. I never had any problem with him at all and he's my adopted son been with me since he was 5 days old.

Tracy - posted on 08/29/2011

I am in the same situation....and I am trying to find other things to interest him...different sports and things to do. Let me know if anything you come up with works and I will o the same for you

Taj - posted on 08/29/2011

I really debated whether I should chime in on this one or not, since what I am going to say may be hard to hear, but I thought I should at least offer it up and hope that it is helpful. First, it sounds to me that you have a bigger problem with your son than an Xbox addiction. I don't mean to offend you and you certainly know your son better than I do, but the behavior that you are describing is, in my opinion, abusive and far across the line. If he is swearing at you and pushing you, telling you he hates you and retaliating against you when you attempt to impose parental boundaries, he appears to be out of control. Just because he's a teen doesn't create or excuse this type of behavior. There are lots of teens who would never think to do those things even at the height of teenage angst. I would explore counseling for him if I were you. Second, people treat us the way we allow them to. I can't imagine that he just began treating you this way overnight. Most likely, he has gradually progressed in his disrespectful behavior toward you over the years as you have allowed it to go unchecked. I would suggest parenting classes or counseling for you as well to determine better ways to change your patterns of behavior with him. I know that is likely to make you feel defensive and judged and I am sorry if it does, but honestly, I am really sad that your son is treating you the way you describe and I really think that is a bigger problem than his Xbox habits. I decided to go ahead and offer my opinion, because I'm wondering if anyone has simply told you outright that your son's behavior is beyond the pale and that you really need to take some action to fix this (separate from the Xbox issue). I hope that you are able to get the help that your family needs and that your son learns to treat you with respect.

Jennifer - posted on 08/28/2011

I am in agreement with the parental controls, but you also need to monitor what he is playing/watching on the xbox. My son has microsoft live where he can watch videos/movies on his xbox. He may be doing something he does not want you to know about, therefore being rude when you come to his room. And just remember when you think but my kid wouldn't do that, you didn't think he'd be rude to you either. Hope this helps, Good luck.

Judy - posted on 08/27/2011

Good Luck!

Val - posted on 08/27/2011

I have learnt something today, that Xbox has a parental control system, I will definitely look into that.

Judy - posted on 08/26/2011

My son is 16 and was doing the same thing. So we made him come downstairs and use the TV down so that we can monitor him as he plays. The games most of them play are usually Adult rated. He should def. be downstairs are he doesn't play. Also he has to eat with us.He is not allowed to eat in his room at all! Before you know it he will be gone.
You need to show him who is the parent. Good Luck!

Anselm - posted on 08/25/2011

Sounds like rules should have been set when the xbox was purchased, At this point you are not going to get anywhere by hiding his stuff but I am sure He needs you to bring him places or PAY FOR THE ELECTRICITY THAT WORKS THE XBOX> You need to make an agreement with him including respect or cut the circuit breaker to his room. AS long as he doesnt see how to get it back on. ALso who pays for his phone? If he is willing to cut back on xbox and treat u with respect then he can keep his phone service and you can bring him around. HOwever if you ssay he is in his room all day perhaps his problem is socially-does he have friends?

Toni - posted on 08/25/2011

I am pretty sure that the contraption would be gone! and he would have a sore hiney, or mouth! That is why I don't allow that nonsense in my house. It takes over their brains!! If he is that bad, there are special boy's schools that he could attend...

Starfish - posted on 08/25/2011

Whoa. That xbox would be gone so fast in my house if I received that sort of attitude, and I'm a gamer myself. Xbox has a parental control system in place, so take advantage of it. Heck, take advantage of all the parental controls out there, including passlocking the router, and if you must, replace your bedroom doorknob with a real key lock. He'll have a hard time retaliating with what he can't get to!

The more he defies you, the more you need to crack down. One of you will snap - don't let it be you. Simple as that.

Liz - posted on 08/25/2011

Mine lost TV in his room for a week when he was 10 for sneaking it on during the night. He never forgot it. At 12 we took his door off his room. He had to earn it back. At 14 we no longer have these problems. During the summer I allow him to play into the wee hours of the night but during the day it is outside activities. I was on the phone as a teen and this is their outlet but once school starts he knows it is over or no more door!

Lynn - posted on 08/25/2011

On The Doctors, they said you could require equal time on the XBox and outside time. My sister calls it "Human Interaction." I would never let my kids treat me that way, without taking the system away until their behavior earned it back. Remember, you have several more years of teenage behavior, and it will get worse if you don't nip it in the bud now. Dr. Phil says you teach people how to treat you. Would you let your son treat strangers or teachers like he treats you? If not, don't let him get away with treating you this way. He'll pitch a fit, but don't cave. He needs to show more respect. Your house-your rules. You're not his friend. Don't feel guilty about demanding respect - it will benefit him in life to know there are boundaries, and he can't treat co-workers or bosses like this, so don't let him get away with it - it's for his own good!

Christine - posted on 08/24/2011

My husband and I are avid gamers, we own every system, and we also have a six year old who loves to play her gameboy. We only let her play for a set amount of time. Here are some suggestions to help you:

Cut the power to his room

Call microsoft have them guide you on how to set the family settings in the xbox 360, or aak them how to take the hard drive out. The xbox family has a timer to limit the amount of time he can play and it's password protected. Do this when you know your son will be away for a long time. It will take some time to set up.

Get rid of it and buying a new one strategy won't work unless you have some disposable income, since a new system about $250 and if u sell back to gamestop you would get about $60-80. Call Microsoft you can find their number on their website at www. Xbox360.com

I hope this will help

(I typed this from my iPhone so sorry about any mistakes that I make :D)

Casey - posted on 08/24/2011

Chose your battles - he is a teen boy! I wouldn't tolerate my child swearing or touching me so there has to be repercussions for that behavior. But he's wants to be on his own, in his room, don't you remember wanting that as a teenager? I Do!!

Teresa - posted on 08/24/2011

Time to sell it. He can 'earn' back the money to buy a new one by about 6 months of excellent behavior.... and then keep up that behavior to earn time on it.... or you'll sell it again. Lay down the law now before it's too late and you lose him to that behavior. Good luck!

It also sounds like he has some anger issues. It may be normal teen crap or he may need some counseling. Although I know that I didn't want counseling as a teen, so all I did was lie until the counselor told my mom I was fine.

Good luck!!!

Denikka - posted on 08/24/2011

Um. He is 14. Take it away. Wait until he's asleep if you have to. Stop catering to him by letting him eat in his room. You are the parent, take control.
If he's going to abuse you like that, start removing more things. Cell phone, computer, tv. Strip his room if it comes down to that. Then, once he shows you that he can respect you and your rules, come to a compromise. Let him earn things back, slowly.

Honestly, if it were my kid giving me that kind of grief over a game system, it would be GONE. Completely removed from the house, permanently. it wouldn't matter if he bought it himself with his own money or not.
He is a CHILD, and needs boundries. Draw your line in the sand and STICK TO IT!

Good luck :)