My teenage son spends all day on the Xbox. How can I get him off?

Val - posted on 08/24/2011 ( 62 moms have responded )

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My 14 year old son has spent most of the Summer holidays on his Xbox upstairs in the bedroom. He takes his meals upstairs too. When I try to go in his bedroom, I get a torrent of abuse, swearing, pushing me back out. He is staying up until the early hours of the morning, coming downstairs to switch the router on to go online with the Xbox. He has said he hates me and that I should top myself! Outside the home he is a fab person, but I feel like just keeping out of his way at the moment. I hid his controller last night, and in retalliation he hid my purse and keys. He is a nightmare!

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Denikka - posted on 08/24/2011

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Um. He is 14. Take it away. Wait until he's asleep if you have to. Stop catering to him by letting him eat in his room. You are the parent, take control.
If he's going to abuse you like that, start removing more things. Cell phone, computer, tv. Strip his room if it comes down to that. Then, once he shows you that he can respect you and your rules, come to a compromise. Let him earn things back, slowly.

Honestly, if it were my kid giving me that kind of grief over a game system, it would be GONE. Completely removed from the house, permanently. it wouldn't matter if he bought it himself with his own money or not.
He is a CHILD, and needs boundries. Draw your line in the sand and STICK TO IT!

Good luck :)

Jody - posted on 04/01/2013

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I am 13, my mom has an account on here and PLEASE READ this before you smite it down.
If your still reading, Thanks, I normaly do the same thing You should talk to him at night when he goes to sleep, He may not act like he is listining but he IS! trust me because i have done the same thing.You SHOULD however, have him go to bed at a decent hour such as 9:30-10:00. That way he is getting a good nights rest but if its summer than you should let him stay up later. I can under stand why he is swearing and it is because he is most likley dieing on a video game. But if you DO want him to get of at certan times, the best thing to do is to unplug your router when ever you want him off, and hide the cable. MAKE SHURE your IN CONTROL but if you want to make him happy and more kinder to you than go online and buy a thing called FPS freaks, their only 9:95$ and when you go up stairs, KNOCK on his door stating something like "i have a present!" and if he is hiding your purse, tell him YOU bought the xbox and YOU can sell the xbox. he will crack (but the xbox is a good way to make friends and when you take it away, take it away for a month ish and he will start acting kind, when he does at the end of the week tell him you have noticed it and he is ungrounded that will make him respect you and yet still be happy with you)

Jill - posted on 04/01/2013

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Xbox is an evil thing. To all parents of teenagers if you don't own one; don't buy one!!

Starfish - posted on 08/25/2011

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Whoa. That xbox would be gone so fast in my house if I received that sort of attitude, and I'm a gamer myself. Xbox has a parental control system in place, so take advantage of it. Heck, take advantage of all the parental controls out there, including passlocking the router, and if you must, replace your bedroom doorknob with a real key lock. He'll have a hard time retaliating with what he can't get to!

The more he defies you, the more you need to crack down. One of you will snap - don't let it be you. Simple as that.

Jessibell - posted on 08/06/2013

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He is not mature enough or mentally able to have access to a video game console or games. Remove everything from his room hide it at a different location.

Once he proves that he is able to handle acting his age he can have it back - but only if he signs a contract stating the following:

-What he must do to keep the console. (Grades, attendance at school, chores, etc.)
-What behaviors will result in losing the console (Swearing, abuse, failing)
-What must be completed before starting the xbox up. (Sweep kitchen, homework.)
-You will not be buying games/accessories. (He can save up by doing paid chores or getting a job.)

Families are in a way like dog packs. You need to be the alpha, not him. You are in charge. As a parent you have the insight and maturity to know what is best for a minor. If he does not agree then well, I guess it's time to sell the xbox and he can learn to read books instead ;)

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Velma - posted on 01/01/2014

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Its terrribe, the thing is all kids virtually have them, and as kids we did not. I used to play records all the time and read, as I grew I did not read so much records and radio took over, it's the same. I used to spend too much time in my room, did not go to clubs, but at 14 did have a few good friends, I did feel alone as a teen even though had a brother and sis. Kids are all different really, the world is very different now, I used to roam about alone to see friends, I'd be worried for my son to walk about the way I did in the 70s. This world/society is to blame for some of this.

Velma - posted on 01/01/2014

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Some kids have nothing else - where we live is nothing. My son has never wanted to join clubs etc since 4 yrs, there are no kids his age here, in summer he was playing with 8 year olds - he is 12, its ok but he does not want to bring kids from school and many have to go home anyway. Theres an old saying you can take a horse to water, but cannot make it drink. You do need to be strict, I need to be firmer and I won't be walked over, but when you are alone it's not that simple.

Gabby - posted on 12/25/2013

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I might not be a mom but I just want to say if you Brock his Xbox on purpose then you are just mean you know why? My dad Brock my Xbox and it got fixed. If you do that to your teen he might brake your car or something. And to end this let the tee. Be! Video games help kids in life

Mary - posted on 12/08/2013

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Well if I removed that from my son, he'd beat me up which he has done before.
Especially if they have a mental illness like my son does. I wouldn't dare remove anything like that from him or he'll beat me up or try to kill me.

Belkys - posted on 12/01/2013

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Not true , they don't get better at school , and they don't ever get 'bored' of the Xbox ! Nonsense

Belkys - posted on 12/01/2013

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The thing is , that they DON'T want pizza , water , food , hang outs , nothing !!! All they want is to be on the Xbox !!!

Belkys - posted on 12/01/2013

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The Xbox is making him that way , when my son plays Xbox too much. , he gets very rude , you are in a bad predicament . For he is in a violent mode already .... Don't know if we can exchange email addresses , his playing that game even influenced him badly in school ,

Jenny - posted on 11/23/2013

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i begg to ask why is he turning on the wifi at late hours? and why is it not on password?? when my 17 year old nephew comes over for the night i put mine on cause i know what teens will do at night in there bedrooms when the parents r sleeping haha put a lock on that and again take it away i dont let anyone that live with me have games in there room a room is for sleeping and quiet time not for playing games all night and all day

Jenny - posted on 11/23/2013

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i dont cause i have a adhd kid and he is 10 when he plays games at all he gets very angry he has very bad grades and all he wants to do is play games ,, but if i take them away after 2 weeks he starts to get better and he starts to think and play putside,, and i am sure you did your research ,,,, if you did you would have seen that there are parents that let there kid play games as they like just as you r saying and they leave there kids alone,, found that there r deaths and some end up in hospitals with blood clots and dehydration etc so dont tell me that playing any games as long as they want is good ,, you r just mad cause your parents didnt think your way so every other one who is a good parent is bad because they parent there kids you didnt get good grades cause you played games you got them cause your parents were like us and stopped you from playing as much

Jenny - posted on 11/23/2013

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ok your letting a kid tell you what to do in your home hhmmmm no if it was my son and yes i have done this to him i would go in and take it away the hole thing cords and console in you have a lock box put it in there if not have a friend take it with out him knowing,, he is being very disrespectful to you and your house, and to put a pea in the pot did you know that there has been deaths and hospitalizations because of the games and how long they play them look it up and with my son and bf i have seen that some games make them mad and rude so thats what i would do i dont care if thats his room or not if you pay the bills and the power its your rules or you can turn off the power to that part of the house haha

Ann - posted on 11/23/2013

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My son is 13 and addicted to Xbox also. We have internet set to shut of at 9 and he still pitches a fit. He won't do anything but game and gives us attitude when we take it away. Now he says he won't go to Christmas since we won't buy him the xbox one.

Jahson - posted on 11/05/2013

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Unfortunately many people forget that we were once that age... the age where you are somewhat rebellious... generally speaking. A time where your trying to figure out where you fit into this world and what it's all about, with lots of things changing in such a short period of time. Also enough people find it hard to connect and communicate with their kids in a way that will help them to understand in a calm manner the reasons to why one feels that they should not spend all summer in their bedrooms playing games, or doing whatever it is that the parent feels they shouldn't be.

I am in agreement that there should be some control and guidance to a young persons upbringing, again everyone has their different views and feelings towards the matter. but if you can try and have understanding between each other that should help quite a lot in finding a harmonious middle point in the matter... goes for anything else really not just the gaming.

Maybe take him out somewhere where he can be on a positive vibe, I guess being 14 he's not really going to want to go to the playground, but maybe out for a pizza or somewhere that he's going to feel comfortable to speak about things. Maybe it might be a mission to get him out somewhere but with positive persistence I'm sure you can prevail.

That will just make it easier to break through, some people go for a harsh way which is fair enough, but if one was to use their logic in a different way, coming from a different angle... you will end up with a much more positive reaction and outcome without all of the aggressiveness that most parents tend to receive and feel from issues or confrontations like the ones your no doubt getting when your heading into his room.

Anger doesn't help the situation, you have love for your child... and they have love for you. Even if they don't show it... it's kinda normal at that age with the general western population it will pass.. but try connect with him, have understanding and life for you, him and the family will be much better all round.

I hope you manage to get it sorted and I wish you my best.

Love and guidance
Jahson

Mary - posted on 10/25/2013

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I did face the same problem with my soon to be 8 year old son and my reaction to his behaviour was selling his console and getting him involved in reading. It was tough at first but it takes a lot of commitment from us,as parents, to follow through till we see the change taking place....or maybe getting him involved in community work or sports.

Jamie - posted on 10/19/2013

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What you need to do is let him know you are in charge. Warn him if he disobeys. Also there are plugs on the xbox just take them off the tv and xbox. He shouldn't be cursing at you, if he does just hit his mouth or wash it with soap. Don't let him take his food upstairs. If he does just say "I'm not cooking for you until you eat at the table." If he pushes you he deserves a slap. And if it gets to out of hand, sell the console.
I really hope this helps.
~Jamie

Patrick - posted on 09/20/2013

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Jill I am a 17 year old collage student and i have done countless research papers on the subject of the effect of an xbox 360 on a child and overall it improves children and teenagers, if you are ADHD like i am it is extremely hard to focus but with the help of my xbox i learned how to focus when i need to, i was a slacker because i never could focus and i got F's but because of my purchase of an Xbox 360 i now get strait A's. its not the xbox thats the problem its your parenting, give your child a chance to play as much as they want, i guarantee they will get board after a couple hours maybe even a day or so later, but when they can play anytime they don't want to play it. I hope you find this insightful into the teenage mind and also the truth about the "DREADED XBOX360"

Kallum - posted on 09/13/2013

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Go on the xbox and set up parenting controls.

That'll really get it fixed.

There's no way around it unless you know the systems flaws. But I'm assuming at his age he wouldn't know a single thing than too play the games.

Good luck.

Get your authority written across his head.

Amelia - posted on 06/02/2013

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Tell him that if he doesn't get off it then you will take it off him yourself or tell his teacher, i know he is maybe a bit old but you could make a chart and if he has shown a good attitude then let him have a little more time on it. Try breaking a little something on it then it will need to be fixed, then he can't go on it, as long as he is doing his homework then he should be fine :)

Venus - posted on 05/22/2013

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Sorry, I think your way too harsh. There has got to be a middle that would work.. I'm still looking for it myself, but too harsh is not good either.

RPilae - posted on 03/20/2013

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My son is 21 years old and after work he will confine himself in his room to play with other people or his friends on line.At this i asked him if he applied to the colleges since he wants to go to school,only to find out that he did receive letters from colleges for him to get an assessment. 2 colleges turned him down and one is upcoming.

Because of these games he was not vigilant on getting an assessment or concentrating on getting a degree instead of playing all night long. I'm frustrated. I told him if you want to be treated like an adult,then act like one. you dont want nagging then dont make me.It's tiring for me!..anyone who has a better approach?

Rashadpellot - posted on 03/17/2013

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i blame you completely for not showing him proper authority. you need to gather everything that is important (phone, car keys, glasses, ETC.) ONCE YOU HAVE THING DONE, YOU TAKE THE XBOX, AND SINCE YOU HAVE ALL OF YOUR IMPORTANT THINGS, YOU DEMAND A RANSOM. 1 WEEK OF RESPECT FOR 1 WEEK OF XBOX. you and you only can set standards of how you want your son to treat you. also try a nice leather belt. or (when i was younger, my mom did this to me) we had seperate currents for each room. so she shut the electricity off in my room. i know not how to turn it on, lets just say t worked.

but on a serious note bet of luck.

Rashadpellot - posted on 03/17/2013

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well i feel for you. as a male myself, videogames are very important to me. but i do not think that the way your son addresses you is correct. what you need to do is take the entire xbox.

Julie - posted on 03/13/2013

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I strongly advise at his age and at this late stage you do not removing anything prior to telling him, it's sneaky, invasive of his personal space and not a way to start fresh if u want to gain respect back. He will fixate on that and hold it against you hindering the progress you want to make together. When kids know the risk prior to choosing the behavior they tend to make better choices. First Tell him it will be moved and then move it while he is gone

Julie - posted on 03/13/2013

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Yikes! Unfortunately you created a monster and he's gonna strike back at this point. Laying ground rules before giving Xbox would have given him sets of boundaries that would have earned your respect. Now, his behavior is typical of to much screen time.
First, Xbox should be moved from his room and set up in a common area. If he pitches a fit, ask him who pays the membership and cable for the game? If he wants to pay for it (and the TV) he may at that point return it to his room and if a payment is late, it's back in common area.
Second, he has limited screen time allow based on your decision with option to "earn more time" 15 minutes a chore ( make a list to choose from.
Third, you tell him you will be keeping the remote until he can show some respect to you and responsibility for his space. Go with positive reinforcement of earning rather than punishments and taking away. I know it's rough. I have to boys and its a full time job for me, they would eat breath and sleep Xbox, if I let them

Zombie - posted on 03/13/2013

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Hi Val,

I am sorry to hear what you are dealing with. Like Christine, my husband and I are also gamers (online MMOs), and what she posted is very wise advice. I would add to that the suggestion of taking it away from him till his behaviour improves and you two work things out, then when he earns it back, have the controls in place.

Everyone who responded about removing the Xbox is dead on the money - he's 14, take it out of his room while he's at school and stash it at a friend or relative's house if you must. You need to restablish your authority as the parent, and do your very best to keep calm when he throws a fit.

Kudos to you for seeking help about this on here! your situation is not at all uncommon - there are thousands of kids and parents in the same boat. May I also suggest reaching out to the school as well. Talk to your son's teachers, guidance counsellor, etc. I can understand that it must feel overwhelming to deal with this, and by establishing a network with them it not only gives you the support you need to deal with this, but also shows your son that you are not alone.

Best of luck to you, please keep us posted on how things progress!

Kameeni - posted on 03/10/2013

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This is what i did with my son, not an Xbox360 but a PS3. At night whilst he was asleep i done a poo on it. When he woke up the next day he was confused and upset and never went near it again. Try it and let me know how it goes. xx.

Ashley Nichole - posted on 01/30/2013

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Take it away for good ... disrespect shouldn't be tolerated.. you need to show him who the adult is and who the child is! Point blank.

Stacey - posted on 01/25/2013

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My 14 yeaer old wont come off his xbox..he dont go out all weeknd to see mates now i think its affecting his social life, i want to take to my boyfriends this weekend but his just kicking up a fuss over it, ive been seeing my new chap for 14 months and my son has only spent 3 weekend. Its driving me crazy cus im starting to think my son dont like him, but maybe its that bloody xbox cus he dont mind staying at his nans weekend cus he can go online there. What am i ment to do

Michelina - posted on 01/15/2013

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I have a similar story however it is not my son but my brother in law. He is 11 years old and he runs his house. It is absolutley pathetic. He wakes up very early and will remain on the xbox all day until late night hours. He doesnt even stop to eat, but his mother will allow it all and she practically brings it to him so he doesnt have to move. He will get up to pee maybe once a day because he has learned to hold his movements, afraid that he might miss something on xbox. He has become socially awkward and wouldnt know what it is like outside if it wasnt for school. As soon as he comes home from school he changes and goes right to xbox, no homework, no nothing. He will play until very late. He gets very rude and disrespectful, he curses way to much and he has zero discipline. If you tell him to do something he just simply will not and it is not enforced. He has zero responsibility. If you take him somewhere he does not know how to react and really play with other children. He is extremely violent especially towards his father. He pushes him around like its no big deal. He plays games that are simply to old for him, all day every day. He knows not how to take care of himself, do anything for himself, he has no responsibilities, no respect and again no sense of communication other than "online game talk". It is ridiculous- he has been doing this since he has been 6 years old and now in my own personal opinion he is already "ruined". He got his report card last week and not suprisingly he is failing everything even computer. He does not care for school because it is not enforced and if he "doesnt feel good" he just stays home and has an extra 8 hrs to play. I know it is not my child and not my place but this boy is babied beyond belief to the point he doesnt even have to soap his own washcloth or put on his water or even pick his own nose. ( not kidding) When his mom threatens to turn off the xbox he says "yah okay" and continues doing what he does, and it never goes further. Now she is a Puerto rican mother and with my husband he never got away with anything as a child. Its a nightmare and i feel terrible. Xbox is ruining children and in the case of my children, they get 1 hr a day after homework, and after playing outside and only if chores and reading and grades stay up. But they are also playing age appropriate games, if there is any type of attitude or any type of anger they have no xbox. very simple. If they want to cry and scream they can do it all they want. My kids can vouge when i say i do not give it what i say goes and theres no double crossing me. 5 minutes is exactly 5 minutes and i stay in my childs life. i do not allow any of my 4 to run my household or make the rules. I believe in discipline and my kids are enrolled in sports to keep them out of the house 24/7 ( in the sense of sitting on the couch) if your son does that to you, you need to stand up and take charge take the x box and let him scream it out to himself. Dont give it back the next day until he correctly knows how to act.

Miss J - posted on 12/10/2012

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take the xbox away for a period of time. lets him know who is the parent. If he pushes you or retaliates call law enforcement....ask them to stop by to give him a friendly talk. Hopefully he straightens up

Lynn - posted on 12/09/2012

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http://crazyatwork.wordpress.com/ I have experienced escalating similar issues with my 11 year old and did some online research then i created this blog to highlight the seriousness of the problem. you should really check it out, you are the tip of the iceberg. the kids literally get addicted to the games and the violent games create paranoia. if you are a Mom who chooses her battles this is a very important one to choose. we took control of the situation and ban the games for a month...all hell broke loose, with horrible threats and acting out....our son rebelled like I couldn't believe, but when that didn't work eventually he started asking nicely again and began behaving like himself, we even sent him to grandmas and grandpas for a few nights with our parents fully aware of what we were up against (we needed a break from the fighting and my parents live in the country so there is no internet or games there)...so now we are using the games to reward him and we drastically limited his time. He is so grateful for the 2 hours a week we have given him back on the one game, the turnaround is amazing. I discovered the games can be great currency when used as a behavioural reward and that month without them help my son put his gaming in perspective. we threw out the other game completely and he can earn an extra half hour a week if he brings home good grades and doesn't give us an backtalk. we are limiting the games to weekends only with a fresh start each week if the minutes are used or not, he can earn 2.5 hours of gaming time only. the other games like sports games he can play after school for example if he wants for a little while because he isn't addicted to them, but the problem games were World of Warfare and Black Ops. He got black ops back but is only allowed to play in zombies mode.

ps- my doctor when i dragged my son to her said that violent video games are the cigarettes of this generation and we have yet to know the full extent of their damage.

pps- never give a kid internet alone in the their room or they will be addicted to porn too

Heather - posted on 12/07/2012

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My boys are only 8 & 9 and therefore very different from a teenage boy, but what I have done with my kids is set down rules and lists of expectations (relating to their attitudes, chores, school performance, etc.) and then wrote down (with them) a list of "privilages" and "rewards". (The point of this was two-fold. #1- it helps me to "keep up" with their ever changing interests and needs and #2- it was a great lesson for them on the many things that are a part of their daily lives that they take for granted or feel entitled to that they should appreciate.)

The problem I was having with them at the time, was completion of chores and a bout of fighting that they were going through. (If you feel this might work for you, you'd need to adapt it to the specific child and the specific result you're looking for.) What I did, was allow a visible point system (we've been doing this for five years now and the "visible point" system has changed several times. I've used charts and stickers, printed money, poker chips, and we are currently using scratch-off tickets.) to keep them motivated and feeling "rewarded" for the good that they did, but there was also a pay off for meeting all my expectations in a single day.

For instance.. in the sticker days, you could earn 1 sticker for doing your duties and 1 sticker for your attitude during that day. #'s of stickers added up to equal rewards, and the days they were earned on were inconsequential, however, earning both stickers in a single day also equaled a privilage i.e. tv time, computer time, PS2, DS, etc.(Rewards always cost $ or time from a parent, privilages are always free, and for us include just about everything but reading.)

During the play money days, they got "chore bucks" for chores and "happy bucks" for their attitude and the rules got switched to chore bucks buying rewards and happy bucks buying privilages. The scratch off's we're using now are perfect for their age, and may still be fun even for a teen. (I learned to make my own scratch off's on a sight I found on Pinterest.) I took an old box of my out dated business cards, drew 3 circles across the back of them, and put 1 point in 1 circle, a "P" (standing for Privilage) in another circle and then the 3rd circle ranges from another point (anywhere from 5 - 100) to cash rewards.

Now they collect points to earn rewards, buy privilages, buy back things that have been taken away, etc. Or they can have the privilage with a "P" winner, and sometimes walk away with $ in their pockets. The other thing I have loved about this is that before I painted over the circles with the scratch off paint, I had taped over them with packaging tape which makes them re usable (yeah for saving a buck!) and now instead of giving out a ticket for chores and attitudes, I can give them out for anything I want which has been verry fun for both them and me. What's that?? You brought in the trash cans?? Thanks. Go grab a ticket! Your study material came home on Monday?? Sweet. Go grab a ticket! You've done your chores, you've been respectful all day, you've told the truth, you've helped someone, etc??? Thanks! Go get a ticket!

Now they feel very appreciated because they are able to be praised constantly. Most times they end up with just one point, which on it's own isn't worth squat, but they don't complain, it just makes them want to do more to earn another one. For their ages, the "P"'s are still the best though. P's still buy 30 minutes of t.v., computer, gaming, whatever; but also include sleep-overs now and early morning basketball games with Dad.

I would imagine that if the world continues as it has, and we don't end up leaving this system, there would be opportunities for everything from school work, attitude, responsibilities, etc, to just remembering not to bring their phones to the dinner table. I hope that I didn't ramble on for too long, and that you are able to find something that meets his desires as well as his needs (which are not always the same thing) and gives you back your boy too,

What ever ends up working for him, you'll have to share it with those of us who still have smaller boys so we'll have more to try when our kids start going through it.

Good Luck!

Gracelen - posted on 12/01/2012

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My 13 year old daughter loves her Xbox and she is a only child and shunned by her peers, She gets on the xbox and stays on there all hours. I'm so worried about her and she has seasonal allergies so she can't always "Get outside" HELP!!

Linda - posted on 11/29/2012

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sorry, I cant stop laughing, this is what I live with every day too, except I have twins that are 13 and both now have their own x boxes in their rooms so they can play against each other without fighting in the same room. I have , on most occasions stop them eating in their rooms.

In desperation I have taken the x boxes to my girlfriends house for a week.

We don't have many kids around here for them to play with so its hard to know what to do.

S. - posted on 11/07/2012

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@ John very constructive ;) but I agree with you.



@ val like many here I'd take it away too and have him earn it back with good behaviour and I'd become a super bitch till that kid learnt some respect, lay down some rules and punishments for breaking the house rules make sure he knows that you are going to stick to your guns tell him it's fine if he wants to act like a shit that his behaviour effect no one but himself! And by acting like that effectively he's choosing to be punished!



I think at this age it's really hard, hormones are flying all over, they are to old for playing and to young to "fit in with older ones" they think no one understands them and you kind of do loose control but you really need to regain that control before its to late.

Philomena - posted on 09/05/2011

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He is 14? Get rid of it. Don't just take it away or put it in the garage until he changes his behavior, throw it in the garbage. He will survive. You do not have to have video games to live. Kick his butt outside to go play basketball or something. And do not allow him to eat in his room anymore. You never know how long some of the food stays in there and the rodents that might get into his room because of it. Lay down the law!!!

Tracie - posted on 08/31/2011

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Whoa. That is outrageous behavior. Why do you allow him to treat you so badly? Do you allow anyone else in your life to treat you this way? Time to take back control of your house and your dignity.

First, the gaming system is GONE. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the constant gaming that's making him aggressive and disrespectful.

Second, no more meals in his room. He eats at the table with the rest of the family. In fact, he is old enough to be in charge of MAKING dinner one night a week. If he can read, he can follow a recipe.

Third, extra chores around the house. He sounds like he's becoming a bit entitled. Time to remind him that privileges come with responsibility.

Fourth, do not tolerate him disrespecting you. Ever. If he starts down that path, remind him that you do not deserve to be spoken to that way and if it happens again, there will be unpleasant consequences. Then follow through if he does it again.

His attitude will not get better on its own. Teach him how to treat you and he will wind up respecting you and himself more than ever.

Good luck.

Jodi - posted on 08/31/2011

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Really? It's called unplugging it and confiscating it. Make it clear what the rules are, sit him down and spell out your expectations, and the consequences if he disrespects that. Have a discussion with him about it in advance. THEN, if he can't respect your rules, he can't have the x-box. Forget hiding the controller. Find a way to remove it entirely, and make it clear that every time he disrepsects your decision to take it, it will be gone another week. And another. And another.



And make sure YOU hide your purse and keys.



Yes, you are going to have to put up with some crap for a bit. Hold firm. Don't let him see that it upsets you, just stick it out. Walk away if you must. But if you hang in there, it will eventually work. Make it clear that HE chose the consequences, because you and he had sat down and discussed the rules and consequences of breaking them, and he chose to broke them. It is his responsibility. You did not do this to him, he did this to himself. He needs to understand that too.

Catrena - posted on 08/31/2011

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Well I had started out like that with the games for my son when he was younger but when I noticed how he rather play the game instead of chores,homework,etc, I got rid of the games quick but we really didnt play any games growing up. we played outdoor games that I enjoyed very much. He got involved in sports like in 3rd grade and loves it so i knew it wouldn"t been much of a problem at taking away his games. He's 15 yrs old now and hasn't thought about his game at home but loves it when every friday gets here for Friday night lights to light up and he play his game of football. Summer he stayed busy playing sports and working out everyday. I never had a problem of him swearing or even putting his hands on me. I guess i got control of him in his early ages. You can take control back might take some time and counseling but you can. Not saying it to be rude but it all starts from how you handle things in life as you where coming up and how you precieved it through your life as time progressed along the way. I never had any problem with him at all and he's my adopted son been with me since he was 5 days old.

Tracy - posted on 08/29/2011

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I am in the same situation....and I am trying to find other things to interest him...different sports and things to do. Let me know if anything you come up with works and I will o the same for you

Taj - posted on 08/29/2011

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I really debated whether I should chime in on this one or not, since what I am going to say may be hard to hear, but I thought I should at least offer it up and hope that it is helpful. First, it sounds to me that you have a bigger problem with your son than an Xbox addiction. I don't mean to offend you and you certainly know your son better than I do, but the behavior that you are describing is, in my opinion, abusive and far across the line. If he is swearing at you and pushing you, telling you he hates you and retaliating against you when you attempt to impose parental boundaries, he appears to be out of control. Just because he's a teen doesn't create or excuse this type of behavior. There are lots of teens who would never think to do those things even at the height of teenage angst. I would explore counseling for him if I were you. Second, people treat us the way we allow them to. I can't imagine that he just began treating you this way overnight. Most likely, he has gradually progressed in his disrespectful behavior toward you over the years as you have allowed it to go unchecked. I would suggest parenting classes or counseling for you as well to determine better ways to change your patterns of behavior with him. I know that is likely to make you feel defensive and judged and I am sorry if it does, but honestly, I am really sad that your son is treating you the way you describe and I really think that is a bigger problem than his Xbox habits. I decided to go ahead and offer my opinion, because I'm wondering if anyone has simply told you outright that your son's behavior is beyond the pale and that you really need to take some action to fix this (separate from the Xbox issue). I hope that you are able to get the help that your family needs and that your son learns to treat you with respect.

Jennifer - posted on 08/28/2011

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I am in agreement with the parental controls, but you also need to monitor what he is playing/watching on the xbox. My son has microsoft live where he can watch videos/movies on his xbox. He may be doing something he does not want you to know about, therefore being rude when you come to his room. And just remember when you think but my kid wouldn't do that, you didn't think he'd be rude to you either. Hope this helps, Good luck.

Val - posted on 08/27/2011

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I have learnt something today, that Xbox has a parental control system, I will definitely look into that.

Judy - posted on 08/26/2011

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My son is 16 and was doing the same thing. So we made him come downstairs and use the TV down so that we can monitor him as he plays. The games most of them play are usually Adult rated. He should def. be downstairs are he doesn't play. Also he has to eat with us.He is not allowed to eat in his room at all! Before you know it he will be gone.
You need to show him who is the parent. Good Luck!

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