Need help deciding weather my son is too young to start Kindergarten

Beatriz - posted on 07/26/2010 ( 24 moms have responded )

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HELP", I'm having second thoughts about starting my son off in kindergarten next month. I'm not sure weather to keep him in pre-school another year, or try to find a jr. kindergarten or straight thru to regular kindergarten. He's still only 4 ,won't be 5 till October, so I feel he's still kind of young and I'm afraid of him being bullied being the small, younger kid in class. Can't decide and time is running out.

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Jane - posted on 07/30/2010

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Very young. Boys in general are half a year behind girls, so shouldn't start school unless they're 5 and a half. They're just not developmentally ready to do the fine motor skills, etc.

Size is certainly not the only issue, but it is important. He'll be develpmentally behind, if not academically and behaviorally, so when puberty hits, he will be left behind. Tweenagers can be cruel. All food for thought.

Monica - posted on 07/27/2010

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My twins were born Sept 18 and we held them back and started them when they were almost 6. It was the best decision we could of made, they are in the top of their class academically. So many times parents put their kids in too early and they struggle for years or they end up being held back, both of which I did not want for my girls.

[deleted account]

if you are asking yourself whether or not he is too young, or read, then he is too young/not ready. my son was 5 in august and started kindergarten that year... he is the youngest in his class (going into second grade now..) and really struggled at first with school. he is fine now, but we probably shouldve waited.

Angie - posted on 07/26/2010

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I agree that he is too young. My daughter turned 5 in early November and her kindergarten teacher suggest waiting for several reasons:
They leave home a year earlier and not as mature as they would be at 18. Many colleges require freshman to live in the dorm but won't allow a student under 18 to live there. Some student have to put of college for a year and in that year may lose motivation for college.
They are pressured to do things they aren't ready to do once they hit middle school.
Don't only think about where he is now, but where he will be down the road. Right now, you may not be thinking about him leaving home, but when he is older you may wish that you had another year to teach him how to be on his own. For me, I love my children so much that I can't imagine them leaving hom a year earlier. My oldest will be a senior this year and I'm both proud and sad that he will be leaving home soon.

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Keisha - posted on 08/06/2010

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My son turned 5 at the end of August, missing the Kindergarten age cutoff of Sept 1st by one day. All the other little kids were already 5 and bigger than he was and I was concerned at first but as I thought about it, I knew that he would be able to handle it. He was pretty advanced and had been going to preschool for the last couple years, so I knew he wouldnt have any problems socially. I was more concerned with him regressing because since he had been in Preschool much of what he was being taught initially was things that he had already known/mastered. It turned out fine in the end though. I really think its up to you. Talk to his preschool teacher and ask him/her if they think your son is ready? Most likely he is since he's been in a classroom environment. I wouldn't hold him back if he is at the age that the school system allows children to enter Kindergarten. He will be fine, but definitely talk to his teachers.

Rachel - posted on 08/06/2010

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Put him in a pre k class. My daughter did 2 years preschool and 1 year pre k. She is going to be at the top of her class. By doing this, he wont be discouraged if he had to repeat kindergarten by you putting him now. Thats the last thing you want.

Jennifer - posted on 08/06/2010

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It is a smart idea to put him in to kindergarten. If you don't your child will most likely be behind. I am only saying this because I know what they are expected to know when they first enter first grade. There are going to be bullies everywhere you go. Kindergarten is a fun learning experience and it's sad when people say that there kids don't need it. I was a student teacher last year in my son's kindergarten class as well as one other kindergarten class. Although you may have to wait a year anyways because of his birthday. They may not take him. I'm not sure if the birthday cut off dates are the same every where. But I know they have to be 5 by a certain date or else they have to wait a year. But if that is the case or you just want to keep him out of school one more year you can still put him in kindergarten next year. Kindergarten is for ages 5-6. Hope this helps:)

Laura - posted on 08/01/2010

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I don't know your son and probably you are the best person along with your kid's current educator to judge if he's really ready for the transition. Unless you and the educator think he's really ready as far as social and motor skills are concerned I would wait to ensure he'll have the best opportunity to succeed in a school system that suites girls best..

Amanda - posted on 07/31/2010

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I agree with most of the other posters. There is no reason not to wait another year. As someone who started school young, I definitly would hold him in preschool. As another poster mentioned, think about when he is older too. A year younger then the other kids, he will be pressured to do things he's not ready for. He will also be the last of his friends to get a license, turn 21 ect. The only thing that 1 more year is going to do is assure you that he is ready. If you even have to ask, he's not. He will never know that you held him back, but if he ends up having to repeat a grade down the line, he will know!

Jennifer - posted on 07/31/2010

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Don't send him!! Keep him in preschool or find a jr. kindergarten. Either one where he will get social and academic skills. A friend of mine's son is turning 6 in Sept and he starts k. this fall. Knowing them extremely well it was the best decision they could have made. My first went to K. at 5.5 and even then it was a rough transition. My second is 2 now, but his birthday is in Aug, so there is a 99% chance that I will hold him back. It makes a difference having seen the K. class and how the children who are closer to 6 are much more adapted and have an easier transition:)

Kristina - posted on 07/30/2010

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I agree with Jane. I would wait till next year. My son's birthday is in November (turning 6 this year), so I asked myself the same question last year. I feel that I made the right decision in keeping him in preschool as this helped him to have more self confidence and be more developmentally ready to start kindergarten this fall. But no one knows your child better than you do. =) Good luck!

[deleted account]

Depending on how well he is doing academically, talk to his current teacher and find out what she/he thinks if he is age appropriate for the transition in to K. If they think he is try it out and see. If not then you may have your answer to hold him back in pre-k. But, I wouldn't hold him back only based on his small stature....only on his academic level.

Laura - posted on 07/30/2010

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You know your son best of all. Is he emotionally ready for kindergarten? My youngest went into kindergarten he was 4 (turned 5 in September). I knew he was ready to go, and I've never regretted my choice (he is now in the 5th grade) We never had a problem with him being bullied in class for any reasons.

[deleted account]

Our 4 year old is in kindergarten now but we homeschool. IF your son is ready for kindergarten then let him move on. If he isn't ready then don't send him. Don't worry about the other kids so much he will learn to deal with it or the teachers will be there to help him. out. good luck.

Patricia - posted on 07/29/2010

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That is really a tough call to make. Most cutoff for starting K is Sept. 1. Check to see if that is the same with your school district. Talk with the school, they can help you come to a decision. I do believe that K is mandatory now so talking with the school might be helpful. Did he attend preschool. How did he do? Talk to his preschool teacher, see what she thinks. But you are the best source for knowing if you child is ready or not. Be objective in your thinking though. We all think of our children as babies, even after they are all grown up.

Kim - posted on 07/29/2010

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Boys mature later than girls so I would suggest a preschool just so he can socialize with other kids which will help him when he goes to kindergarten. Hope this helps :)

Jennifer - posted on 07/29/2010

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I think it depends on the child and your states guidelines. Where I live, your child must be 5 by Sept. 1st to enter Kindergarten. My daughter missed the cut last year by almost a month. I could have paid to test her in, but chose to put her in another year of preschool. It's a year later, and she just started Kindergarten yesterday. Because of the extra year of preschool, she is more socially ready for Kindergarten, and her teacher said she was a big helper in class yesterday.

Ahira - posted on 07/28/2010

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Not young at all!!!!!!!!! Kids in China start school as soon as they begin to talk! They teach them english by the time they are 2 yrs old!! My daughter started preschool when she was 2, they accepted her only because she was potty trained, she went to kinder when she was 4 and turned 5 in October while in Kinder. Don't hold your kid back =)

Liza - posted on 07/28/2010

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in my case, my daughter started her nursery at the age of 3 1/2. she really insist to go to school at age of 2 1/2 yr old... we only had her a trial but she goes well in her class. now she is 4 1/2 years old and she's in kinder2 and next year she'll be in preparatory class... for me, as long as your child wants to go to school at early age, let him go, he'll enjoy it...

Lisa - posted on 07/28/2010

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Wait a year. If you can find a good Jr. K. program, then do that. I had mixed emotions about holding them back a year, but it was the BEST decision for both of my sons. They are thriving in school now and don't have the same frustrations that their younger classmates have in school. You are giving you son and yourself the gift of time. There is no rush! More and more experts, teachers and parents are recommending boys wait a year. That extra year allows them to mature a little bit more, and that makes the challenges they will face in school a bit easier for them to handle.

[deleted account]

I do not think you are 'giving in to fears'. He is only 4 and will not be 5 unitl Oct. He is too young, even if he is mature for his age, I still think it is too early.

[deleted account]

I would wait. I teach special ed. It is from my expereince as a teacher and with my friends children, it is better to wait. Boys especially seem to do better when they are older. My children turned 5 in late winter so this was never an issue for us. If you start him too early and he gets retained, it drops his chances of graduating high school. Wait. I would do another year of preschool. My close friend's child turned 5 in August and she had him wait until the next school year to start K. He did great and it was a good decision. WAIT!!!!!

Sharon - posted on 07/27/2010

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I would talk to the pre school teacher first, to see what do they think, if your son is ready for school or not. If he is really good socialize with other kids, then he should have no problem of starting Kindergarten next year, but if he is a really shy boy, I would wait for another year, because if he is shy, that will effect his social skills, then it will effect him on his learning ability as well. Talk to the pre school teacher first & see how you go with it.

Staci - posted on 07/27/2010

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Are there bullies in Kindergarten??? I think that you're worrying too much about nothing. If your son loves going to school and is doing well, allow him to enter kindergarten. Kindergarten is the foundation of his entire educational experience and if you hold him back because of your own fears it will teach him to be fearful and later in life might prevent him from taking life by the horns and pursuing his dreams. Relax and get the new backpack and lunch box ready. Kindergarten is a blast! Enjoy-it passes by so fast.

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