Need help with dealing with teacher.

Cathy - posted on 03/18/2013

I am a former third grade teacher and mother of 2 children. I witnessed teachers single-out and bully students and had to deal with teachers who treated my own children poorly. If you are a parent dealing with negative, psychologically damaging situations, involving teachers I am willing to provide consultation to help improve your child's educational experience. It is always comforting to know that you are not alone in the fight to demand a fair, appropriate educational experience for your child. My new website will be launched on April 1 st where you will find necessary contact and consultation information. In addition, I have written a book regarding my own experiences, which many parents find helpful, Snitch: True Stories of Destructive Classrooms and Bad Teachers

Shirley - posted on 01/29/2013

From the sounds of it this teacher does not like your child.
When a child does something to another child or teacher it should be reported IMMEDIATLEY to the parent,,,,You have every right to speak to your childs teacher without worrying that your son is going to get into trouble...2 bloody eyes and she don't say anything???
I'd be on the phone with the School district to speak with the person whos at the head of it, maybe you can get him in special education, that would get him out and away of the bullys and in smaller classes.....
My son when he was in K got moved to a new school (we had to move out of state because of my husband job), he was licking windows, knocking over desks, but not going after any of the kids, and we were not hearing anything about it,(he did not do these kind of things at home so you can see what a surprize this was going to be for us...... untill one day the teacher decides to tell us about it. we went to the school and she said, ya know, after I teach all day, I go take college courses at blah, blah ,blah, I don't have time to call everytime he does something nor do I have time to email,,,I have gone OVER AND ABOVE THE CALL OF DUTY AS A TEACHER.....I looked a t my husband and said, I'm done...( I had to walk out because I was going to beat the living hell out of her). I got ahold of the director of the school district for special ed, and we got an emergency meeting together, they were in shock with what I told them....he did better, still did some name calling to the teachers, they earned their paychecks that yr, but, my child did better, and was happier going to school..and he still goes to special ed school...but, those teachers care about the kids!

Kim - posted on 01/04/2013

I would consider calling the school board to find out about other complaints of this teacher and get something done.

Julia - posted on 01/01/2013

Yikes! Sorry to hear all that, I hope it has worked out. I could have sworn my sons K teacher didn't like him. They had a bear that each kid got to take. It had gone twice and my son never got it. I wrote a note, still no bear. An aid in the classroom had pointed out that my son had inadvertently been left off the list of kids to get the bear. You would think the bear would have came home with my son post haste, nope! I had to write another note before it came home. I also got constant snarky comments about how expensive my sons things were. It is private school, most of the kids have plenty and I was the only single mom in the K class. Other kids came from very prominent families in town and I was working 3 jobs to keep him there. Not only that but they wear uniforms so his things were just like the coat and show an tell stuff. I never restricted my son from what he wanted to take because he is very careful with his things, other parents wouldn't let their kids take their nicer things because they might get lost. My son developed a tick he was so stressed about school. I felt like the harder I pushed for my son the worse things got. I just backed off a lot, but continued to talk to my son about how he felt. I also asked the babysitter who picked him up from school to pay close attention to the drop off time and the interaction with the teacher. When I did have to talk to the teach I did so by a note or e-mail and I was always extra polite. I killed her with kindness. My son is in first grade now and when I see that teacher she has warmed up considerably. Sometimes you catch more flies with sugar than by going to their boss etc. I started college as an Education major and most of my girlfriends from college are teachers. They seem to hate parents in their face so while I can have a tendency to be highly involved I try to remember to back off and let the teacher do her job. If there is an issue I write a note it serves the double purpose of documentation and they can read and respond on their own time.

Alexis - posted on 12/28/2012

id ask for in class supervission for a month or so, and when your son doesnt get in trouble that whole time or does, you'll have 2 people to go to the priciple to show what's been going on.
this time is tuff for kids even without a teacher picking on them. make sure you show him love, how amazing he is, and over due how proud of him you are. and maybe inviting some of the kids from his class over for play dates might help too.

Janaki - posted on 12/25/2012

Have you first spoken to your son whether he likes going to school or no? do you see any behavioral change in him in the house or when he goes out to play with his friends? Does he complain that he doesnt want to go to school.
Please given your son the assurance that no matter what others say, you will always love him and you KNOW that he will never do wrong things and he will always tell the truth.

Wendy - posted on 12/23/2012

Get a calendar book and document everything that concerns you and who, when what you You speak to. Get an advocate. Go to.the superintendent. Get an attorney's advice. Hold a a meeting at school and bring your spouse or advocate. Don't loose your temper for one minute because schools will try to incite you.

Freda - posted on 10/22/2012

move him to another class, this teacher simply tackling him to revenge for you. This is not the right kind of teacher for your son.

Jennifer - posted on 10/07/2012

I'm not a mom (16) but my brother had problems with his teacher,but Mom didn't catch it early enough so he had to repeat the year. Mom had him go to a different teacher the next year and he was fine. And when I had trouble with the counselors at the after school program (the kids and the counselors bullied me) we moved schools. It was the best thing that could have happened for my family. My brother and I were so much happier, and my mom was saved a lot of stress. Sometimes a school just doesn't fit with a family.

Latosha - posted on 09/30/2012

I had a similar problem teacher thought my daughter was throwing crayons. But she wasn't it was the boy he lied to keep him from getting in trouble so I told the teacher my child has home trainging they only pay attention. To what they want some people don' t deserve tne be in there position that's. All I have to say!

Sophia - posted on 09/21/2012

MY SON WAS HIT IN SCHOOL ... CAME HOME TELLING ME HE WAS HURT. WE I CALL MY BOSS AT HOME EXPLAINING I WOULD BE LATE FOR WORK THE NEXT DAY. WHEN I GOT TO THE SCHOOL I ASK DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL THE COPS ... BECAUSE YOU KNEW CHILD WAS HURT AND DID NOT STOP IT OR CALL ME. DO YOU WANT ME TO FULL THIS PLACE WITH COPS.... WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL IS THIS. WELL THIS WAS WHEN I FOUND OUT THIS WAS THE SCHOOL BULLY . I WILL FULL THIS SCHOOL WITH THE COPS FOR CHILD ABUSE. DONT YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH HAVING ANYONE HURT MY CHILD AND STAND BY... THEY CALL HER MOTHER SHE WANTED TO MEET I TOLD THEM I AM NOT HERE FOR A TEA PARTY I WILL LOCK HER UP IF SHE TOUCH MY SON AGAIN. I DID NOT WANT TO TELL HIM TO BEAT HER DOWN.

Devika - posted on 08/08/2012

Omg that teacher needs to be fired

Aunt Cece - posted on 03/12/2012

I'm a former teacher and it seems to me you have been more than patient with your son's teacher. I would suggest that you document what your child tells you about his troubles, and if the principal will help you, I'd ask him or her to transfer your child to another classroom. If he or she say they cannot do that, I think I'd remove him and either home school him for the remainder of the year (unless you have a job all day) or put him in another school. Otherwise he will have to contend with this teacher for 3 to 4 more months.where he will continue to be tormented by this woman. Good teachers aren't bullies, but this teacher may call herself a teacher, but she's truly a royal pain. Is she picking on other children in the class that you know of? No child should ever be treated like this. It also may be that because he's advanced in his abilities, that she isn't challenging him enough. He should be able to work at his own pace. Is there a chance that he is bored in her class?

If I got nowhere with the principal, and I wanted to leave my child in that school, I'd for sure get in touch with the superintendent in your area.I taught for 25 years and had my share of challenging kids, but to be honest, I never saw the connection between what the child did one day, even after I had conferences with the parents., and how I treated the child the next day. In other words, you don't treat the parents one way, and then pick on their child the next.. My heart goes out to you and your son. Good luck with all of this. PS..I was the subject of abuse myself many years ago in 6th grade where I was not only berated by my teacher, but also made to stand in front of my class while she told them that I wanted them to all to bow and scrape to me because surely I must have thought I was so great..I made up my mind, that if I ever taught school, I would not humiliate any child in front of his peers..I spent some time stepping outside the classroom to talk with the child I felt was misbehaving, out of earshot of the other children. At the end of the conversations, most time, they got a hug from me.

Assumpta - posted on 03/11/2012

Wow your son's teacher needs sorting out big time there are bullies right across the board but when it becomes apparent that your son's teacher is behaving this way especially toward a child as young as six years, this is the most treasured time within the education system when children start to build their memories of school (like/dislike)

You need to go over the head of the principle if this teacher is not being dealt with properly take the issue to the Board of Education to see does it resolve the issue if continues then to Department of Education If any teacher can behave is this manner to a child as young as a 6 year old she is not fit to teach a full class...

Natasha - posted on 11/07/2011

I know it's late in the year but I think you should try to get a different teacher. I don't think it would be to much to ask to have another adult there or even have someone sit in on the class...you could even consider talking to other parents see if they have had any issues with this teacher. Good luck theres nothing more irritating than a teacher mistreating a child.

Paula - posted on 11/07/2011

Your sons teacher is a bully.
Every school in the UK has to work towards certain standards and I am sure that is true of your schools - Safeguarding Children, EveryChild Matter, Childrens Act - also your school should be accountable to whoever is funding it either the state or privately; therefore; you need to write a letter to the principle making a formal complaint.
The barriers to education your son suffers now can have a negative effect on him in future years.
You want the principle to take action now, if they dont then you will have no option but to report the teacher, principle and school to the relevant authority under the relevant legislation - the principle will act - no school wants any parent to do this and when it comes to education you need to fight them with their own legislation - once they know your not stupid your child will have less issues.
good luck

Cynthia - posted on 10/16/2011

My son was not his teachers favorite in kindergarten, for different things much like what you are talking about. i believe it was because when my son came home upset i would meet with the teaher to try to get to the core of the issue. i think she took the frustration she had with me out on my son. finally i talked to the principal and when he asked me what i wanted done i told him that if she was going to give my son a talk or a bad mark or any kind of punishment that i wanted a call from her b4 she did or said anything to him. i thought that the time it took to get to the phone and make the call would give her time to chill out b4 she marked my kid for nothing if that were the case. she called 2 times for the rest of the year my son and his teacher got alone much better. she learned that it is important to talk to my son and to listen to him or she would have to listen to me.... it was not a perfect system and i did not want it to get that ugly but as parents we have to do what we think is best for or kids. this is my opinion.

Katrina - posted on 10/12/2011

go to the superintendent....keep a log of everything that is going on......and then if nothing is done then do to the school board......usually once you go to the school board then the super and the principle will start to do there jobs and get there teachers under control......Thank god this year I am not having to be at the school unless it is to pick my kids up for a doctors appt........the teachers that they have gotten this year were teachers that I had 20+yrs ago and they know what I expect and nothing less......

Carlie - posted on 10/12/2011

Ok...you had me at "hello." Just kidding. I stopped reading your post when you said the teacher called your child "bad." I don't know you. I don't know your son. I don't know the teacher. I am only partial to what you post. Let me just say though: NO CHILD is EVER "BAD"....OR "GOOD." Parents and teachers should NEVER use these words when referring to a child or a child's behavior. There is no good or bad. However, there is a "RIGHT" or "WRONG" way of doing things, of behaving, of making choices-and that's what we should be teaching our children. Otherwise, children will grow up thinking people are "good" or "bad." They will strive to always be good. Not such a bad thing right? WRONG. Because people can make RIGHT choices, and that's ok. People can also make WRONG choices, and that's ok too-but only if they learn something from it. If you are "BAD"...then that's not okay. Not used in that context to a child. 'Nuff said.



Also, I agree that the bullying needs to stop IMMEDIATELY. RIGHT NOW. It is endangering your child mentally and emotionally. I recognize that you recognize this. You need to speak to the SUPERINTENDENT OF SCHOOLS OR THE SCHOOL BOARD PRESIDENT.



It sounds like the principal at your child's school has made some effort to correct things. However, I'm sure he hears complaints on a daily basis. Either YOU are not getting your frustration(s) across to him, or HE isn't to you. Regardless, there is a communication issue there. If you feel like you can't trust him, well then take those words to the SOS. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO FOR THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILD. If it means waiting all day in the lobby of the SOS's office, then I would do it. In a heartbeat.



Your child deserves better than what his teacher is giving him. His teacher is teaching him that her kind of teaching, is what he deserves. She is wrong.



Also, I applaud the fact that you, as a mother, are reaching out for help. Pat yourself on the back. You are almost there. IT IS IMPERATIVE that your child is reassured that the KIND of teaching he has been receiving at school is wrong. DO NOT ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TRASH THAT TEACHER. You can say, "Son, I'm sure your teacher is a good person. However, I do not agree with the way she has been teaching you. I know you are not happy at school right now, and because of this, Momma is going to do all that I can-to HELP you feel happier."



And/or: "I know you are going through an unhappy and difficult time right now at school. Son, your happiness means EVERYTHING to me, and I will do all that I can to HELP you feel happier." I emphasize the word "HELP" because we can't MAKE anyone do anything. And you don't want to teach your son that your can. Your son has to find his OWN happiness, but you can HELP him find the right tools to do so.

In this case, you will certainly need to do that.



I feel for both of you. We leave our children at school everyday, hoping all goes well. To have a teacher abuse her profession and a child's emotional state, is uncalled for-and should NEVER be allowed. May God bless you. Go see the SOS (Superintendent of Schools), and if he doesn't listen, keep the faith, and find someone who will. :)

Holly - posted on 03/26/2011

We had a teacher like this. The only thing you can do is document, document document. Create a paper trail. Write down everything, where when what said etc. What happened to your son, what she complains about, how she treats your son after you have been in. Mail letters to her and to the school office. Usually letters mailed in must be filed. Talk to the principal. However the school hands may be tied. The Teachers Unions defend bad teachers. Unless you make the case, the Teachers Union will sue the school if they do much.
Creating the paper trail will allow you to take legal steps. When you have documentation, show it to the principal and tell him you will be taking legal steps unless the teacher is dealt with. Give him copies of the file. The documentation and the threat may be enough to get it stopped. However, the teacher may never be good for your son. It is not too late to move him as all the classes are likely doing the same curriculum, and are at the same place. Ask the principal if another class is near the same place.

Lynn - posted on 06/03/2010

I know exactly what you have been dealing with too. My son is in 5th grade and has 2 teacher's and both of them are very cruel and have picked on him along with other bullies in the class. I have kept documentation of emails I have sent them about things that have went on in the class room and the bullying of not only my son but other kid's in the class and have also sent copies to the assistant principle. Unfortuanatly, they did not do anything to address the problems about the bullying and would always say I wasn't getting the full story. I believe I wasn't getting the full story from them. The principle at the school is a total joke and doesn't do anything about anything. He doesn't care. The bullying has gone on at this school ever since kindergarten . If the schools would put a stop to it, then the kid's would know they couldn't do it. It has been a year of hell for my son and today was his last day and I took him out of school at noon. I have told them I would go over their head and go as far as I needed to go. I can't believe how much of this goes on and these people shouldn't be teachers. I hope that their kid's get treated just like how they have treated some kids. These two teachers have basically bullied my son all year long and when I would address a problem they would treat him really bad because they were mad. I wish I would have requested him to be moved to another class at the beginning of the year. I think I will take the advice that you were givin and file a formal complaint against both teachers and the principles. Our kid's shouldn't have to go through this kind of behavior. I am sorry your son has had to go through this at such a young age. I hope he will have better years ahead. My son will now be moving to a different school and I am so glad we will not have to ever deal with those people again. I found out yesterday from another mother who has a daughter in the same class that both teacher's and some students were making fun of her daughter because she had scars on her legs. Her daughter was so depressed because she overheard this and the mother was very angry. My son finally delt with one of the bullies after school across the street from our house and my son was the one that the school punished. They took him out of his homeroom and put him in the switch teachers homeroom so he wouldn't be in the same class as this boy or with his friends. This same boy also bullied other kid's in the class but they moved my son so he wouldn't be with his friends. There has been so much that has went on that I could go on and on. I wish you and your son luck and do document everything. Take it as far as you have to even if it's the tv stations!

Margaret - posted on 05/29/2010

How frustrating for you as the parent and your son. I would speak with the Principal again. Maybe it would be helpful, as I have found in my own personal experience that it is usually more than one child that is being used in this manner. I know that it is important for a child's early experiences to be good ones so that they are able to stay in school.
Hope that this helps..

Leigh - posted on 05/28/2010

I can not give you anymore advice than you have already recieved and kudos to Angela for being the responsible teacher every kid needs! My sone was diagnosed ADHD when he was very young, and my biggest thing was that he be thought of as a child with problems and not a "problem child". I have seen teachers of every sort, but for the most part have been extremely lucky. I agree, go to the Board, above the teacher and Principal. This is not something you want on your sons permenant record. No matter what the teachers proble, and it is HER problem, your son should not have to pay for it for the rest of his academic life. And yes, make sure your son knows you are behind him. As a mom with a special needs child I have gotten the mama bear complex more often than I should am sure, but my kids have always known no matter what, they could come to me with any school related problem.

Gwynne - posted on 05/27/2010

If u have some free time I would volunteer to help out in the classroom, thats what I did.
You'd be surprised how fast a teacher will change there tune when you can watch them all the time.

Ruth - posted on 05/27/2010

So, I'm way late to respond, but I would suggest going over the principal's head. Go straight to the district and request that the teacher be put on probation and evaluated on an on-going basis for the said behaviors. Be VERY specific and precise in your complaints and make sure you speak with the person at the district who is the head of elementary education (by grade if applicable). It seriously sounds like the teacher does not want to be one and does not actually care about your child (which means any of the kids) and should not be entrusted with the mind of anyone, especially persons so impressionable as kids.
Good luck with whatever you did/do and if you ever have those kinds of issues again, get your child out of the class. You can usually tell if there are going to be issues by end of first term or first semester and swapping teachers after winter break shouldn't be an issue in most schools.
You have a right to get your child the best education possible. Don't let anyone take that away from you or make you feel like you can't do it. It's law. You can.
Also, you can look for advocacy programs in your area. (I found one called LINKS in Utah where I used to live) and they can help you to know your rights and with legal stuff if you need it.

Wendy - posted on 05/26/2010

the best thing you could do is
get the father involed and go to the school and have a meeting with the teacher and the principle and the gidence counsler and anyone else like the director

i bin haveing prob with m sons school and he is 1st grade my husban and myself have had several meetings with the school and got the pricaple involed along with the gidence and the school sicoligest they whant to old him back for not sitting and not behaving i think there will be a fight soon becuse we will not let him back there is no need the grads are not to bade for a 1st grader

ANGELA - posted on 05/26/2010

You've probably already received TONS of replies from teachers, like myself...but just to add a couple of cents, I thought I'd reply too! :o) Sorry that you and your son have had such a negative experience so early in his school life. One thing I would be sure of is that next year starts out with a very caring and kind teacher. It sounds like he needs a dose of kindness to begin with. Talk with other parents and if you know any of the the teachers on staff, ask them for a recommendation for your son.

One other thing I would advise you to try is to do a little investigative work of your own too. I would NOT ask if you can sit in, but show up and sit through a day of school in your son's class. Kids will be themselves in the course of a day. My guess is that you will see what truly goes on during the day. But please stay all day if you can, that way you can give everyone (including the teacher) to let their guard down and then you can get a clear picture. Know that this is your RIGHT as a parent. Don't be put off or told that it's not a good day.

You could also borrow a friend's car and park alongside the playground and just watch a recess or two. Make some notes about what you see in general. If more parents would do this, I truly think they'd be shocked by what they see. :o( Our public schools need a much better adult to student ratio! Unfortunately, the well-intentioned people on playground duty cannot see everything.

Good luck next year! I hope you and your son have a MUCH more enjoyable 2nd grade! :o)

Sheila - posted on 05/25/2010

There is some great advice here already, so the only thing I will add is this: Make sure your son knows you're in his corner. If he sees you consistently going to bat for him, it will be huge for his confidence. Yes, there will be next year for a better teacher, to make new friends, etc. Will he be able to reach out? Yes. Kids bounce back. Show him with your actions that, here and now, you're with him. I am speaking from experience. This has been my dad's approach since Day 1 for my brothers, sisters, and me. People regularly comment on how outgoing we all are, and we all agree that his standing by us in situations like this played a big part. Know also: the fact that you're searching for answers means you're an awesome mom. Your son obviously is top priority, and with this in mind, you will do the right thing for him.

Tracy - posted on 05/24/2010

Hi,
I've experienced a lot of the problems you've experienced (I have a 12 year old daughter). First grade is a tough time of adjustment for kids, & I promise you that the other children are also getting into plenty of trouble too - it's just that you aren't necessarily hearing about it. I know that doesn't make you feel any better though...

I can offer some advise! This year I've been working as a substitute teacher, & it's been an eye opening experience for me. You can suggest to the teacher that a chart be stapled to the inside of his folder or notebook each week. This is standard procedure around here. Usually it's a behavior chart with smiley faces or stop lights, & the different faces or colors of the light let you know how you're child's behavior was on each day. You will be required to sign each night, so that the teacher knows that you're monitoring things. There is usually space for the teacher to write comments as well. Just keep in mind that the size of the class will sometimes undermine the teacher's ability to give you details in every situation. They're limited in time. You can also send a note to school with your phone # (cell is best, so she can reach you at any time), & ask her to call you if anything serious happens. Tell her that you want to work with her to solve problems. This is also common here. In fact, every single elem school I've subbed at has duplicate emergency contact cards in the classroom. The teacher won't be able to call you for every single thing, but I can tell you that the good teachers often use this tactic to get out of control kids to behave - ie "I'm going to call your Mom & let her know that you're doing x,y,z". I've seen it done by teacher's aids in classes I've subbed in.

Let her know that you want to keep in contact with her. If she has 20 kids in a class it can be difficult to do this, but perhaps she could supply you with her phone # as well? My daughter is in 5th grade, & all of her teachers have phones in their rooms, & I have all of their phone #'s. I also have cell phone #'s for 2 of her teachers.

Many times teachers get frustrated because they feel that parents don't work with them, but against them. I've overheard LOTS of conversations about that in the teacher's lounge, so word your request carefully for best results.

I know you love your son very much, & believe him. That's as it should be, but try to keep an open mind. Often children behave very diferently at school than they do at home. Teachers see a totally different side of children than parents do. There's always the possibility that the story your son is giving you might be slightly shaded....You're doing the right thing by getting in touch with the other children & parents involved to find out the truth.

I don't think I'd advise your son to fight back because he will be disciplined. It doesn't matter who starts it - whoever hits, kicks, etc will be disciplined. However, the teacher must SEE the misbehavior with her own two eyes in order to do anything about it. That's why oftentimes only one child is written up. The teacher might not see the first child hit, but will hear the commotion, look, & then see the 2nd child hit back. Guess who is going to get written up? It's not fair, but it's policy. I used to think that if other children witnessed it, then the teacher should be able to go off that, but that's not so. Now that I've been in the classroom I know why. Sometimes kids in a class will pick sides depending on who they like best, & will intentionally try to get the otheer child in trouble. I always tell the kids that if there's a problem they need to tell me about it, & let me deal with it, & not deal with it on their own.

It's too late this year, but next year make your presence known, stay in contact, tell the teacher you want to hear if there are any concerns, & that you will be sending notes to school often if you aren't able to speak to them on the phone. Give her your # & ask if there's a way that you can call her if you need to speak to her. Ask if they plan on stapling a behavior chart to your child's folder, & if they say no, ask if they'll please do it for your child each day.

Good luck! I know it's stressful, but it will get easier. I promise. :o) Kindergardten & first grade were the WORST grades for my daughter. She was always in trouble.

((((HUGS))))

Aleshia - posted on 05/24/2010

I think I would do some surprise visits to the school and watch the class before entering and see how everthing changes while you are there.

Crystal - posted on 05/24/2010

Get in touch with the school board. Show them all notes from the teacher. Let them know how and what she is doing to your son and what she has not done about the other child bullying yours. That teacher needs to be fired.. I wouldnt let this go..

Anneke - posted on 05/24/2010

Hi there,
I am so sorry to hear yet another dreadful story of how children get bullied by a classmate and a teacher. We had a similar problem with our 8 year old who was subjected to ear pulling and pinching by a teacher. After many meetings and no improvement I filed a complaint with the Dept of education. I think you should consider doing the same. The scars that these cruel teachers leave on our children is very difficult to reverse. They should be stopped!!

Lisa - posted on 05/23/2010

hi, I have had simular issues with my son, however my son is much older now and still he has been picked on, disrespected etc by his teachers over the years. Now I know my son is not perfect, no one is but these teachers are supposed to be teaching our children respect and not disrespecting them in the mean time. For example, my son is in middle school, and last year he was running in the hallway from the boys room to make sure he made it back to class on time. Now he should not have been running but he's a kid and he thought it would of been faster. Anyway he tripped over his own shoe lace and fell into another student who was at his locker. When my son fell on him he knocked the student down into the locker. The student lost a tooth. My son got up appologized and went to tell a teacher. Well guess what my son got 2 days in house suspension because the school has a no touch rule!! It was an accident yet, no one would even listen to what really happened, even when the other student tried to explain it was an accident they would not listen. Another example happened this year, my son doesn't like to get his picture taken, but like always I gave him the money to have it taken at school. When the pictures came in he told his teacher that he did not want them and that we was going to throw them away. What did his teacher do, well instead of taking them and calling me, he decided to take one picture out of the trash and use a marker to make a funny face on it then posted it up for the entire 7th grade to see! When I confronted the teacher about it, he just laughed it off.
I could go on and on, but my suggestion would be to contact the Superenendent of the school. That is what my husband did last year when the Vice Principal took my son's cell phone and procedeed to look thru not only all his messages but his pictures also. This was a vasion of privacy and she did not have any right to do so. My husband call the super. and he made things right by holding his Vice Principal accountable for her actions. She has left my son alone since. Today my son still gets picked on by other bully's not at least the teachers are treating him better. As parents we have no choice but to be the voice for our children. If the principal does not help, then go to the next level. It's truly too bad that us parents have to worry so much about our children when that are in the school systems.
Good luck, I wish you and your son the best.

Kimberly - posted on 05/23/2010

Go to the SCHOOL BOARD and SUPERINTENDENT OF SCHOOLS. I've heard said that a teacher picks a student out each year as his/her NEMESIS. I think it is very childish for a teacher to act so selfish. I have had my share of problems this year as well. My kids are both very respectful and shy. However, my daughter has a teacher this year that has singled her out. She takes every opportunity to make the students in her class feel .... ashamed? I'm not sure of the word I am looking for. For example; the kids in the class told her they couldn't wait for Spring Break, she replied by saying "Me too, and I don't want to hear your names or see your faces." Now, how grown up is that? To me, if teacher doesn't like her job, they shouldn't teach. Children are very impressionable. What the teachers do and say can lay the map of how our children feel about learning and about their future. It's incredible. I think a teacher should have to take a full years course on nothing but how to handle children and how to be compassionate. Of course, this is just my opinion. But, when my sister and I were growing up, our mother went to school for us anytime we had a problem. Make yourself a nuisance, sit in the back of the classroom every day until the end of the school year. You have every right to do so. Tell them that since they/she believes your child is such a problem, you'll be there to ensure he is not a problem. I hope I at least shed some light and let you know, you are not alone. I see why so many people are homeschooling now. We have to protect our children until they are old enough to protect themselves.
Good Luck ♥

Carmel - posted on 05/23/2010

Hi, I know this is late but as a teacher- and a parent I would ask the teacher for documentation. I would ask for copies of all the assignments missing and turned in. She did not contact you that is a problem. He is in the first grade the work can be made up. I would go to the principal and then if that does not work go the administration. Teachers must contact parents weekly if the child is missing work. Sounds like a personality clash. Good Luck and you also have the right to ask for copies of classwork and homework so you can see what he is doing and not doing. At our school we send home work every Tuesday. I would sit down with the teacher and voice your concerns with the administrator present. Good Luck As teacher we sometimes forget we are dealing with children!!!!!!

Amy - posted on 05/23/2010

sounds like lots of drama! Wow! In 32 years of (3) kids going thru the system, I can't recall ever once going to the teacher for anything.it is a shame that your son is having a hard time, and the bullying thing needs to be monitored, I agree. but, it's one year, almost over, we have to deal our whole lives with situations that are less than perfect... struggle helps us grow, and learn: to step up, try harder, be positive, over look the negative and move on. Help your son do that by leading by example, head held high and respecting others as well, Lots of issues are blown out of proportion simply by parents addressing them, kids move ahead lots better without our "help" so often... He has the power to be kind, work hard and stick it out . If this teacher is truly as bad as she sounds, chances are you are not the only one complaining, and she will be dealt with. Be hopeful for next year and do yourself a favor by letting this go...

Sandra - posted on 05/23/2010

I always feel when I drop my kids to school that I am putting all my trust in the teacher, that she will take care of my boys (one 10 and in 5th class and one in 2nd class) My oldest son got bullied in senior infants he was 6 at the time and I know it was the hardest time of his little life. The school and principal were fantastic and sorted the situation out, but we have to stand up for our kids if we don't no one else will. I would say to the teacher that your little boy is getting very distressed at home over different situations I think it is ok to admit that a little boys find life hard at times they are ment to be hard a macho.
I think to ask for an adult or yourself to be present when she talks to your little boy or if you feel the principal is fair maybe they could be present, I do think the teacher has it in for your little boy by the sounds of it, you know what they say if you feel it, it probly is true..........
Good luck let me know how it all fairs out and hay, the school year is nearly over, maybe he will have a very nice teacher next year.
Sandra

Nancy - posted on 05/22/2010

Hello, I am raising my now 8 year old granddaughter after my son got killed in 20005. She has been in cousling ever since than. WE have had trouble with her grades and her not responding. NIck her counslor has went to the principal in k and nothing was done for her. This year she has a teacher from h---. She has said and done things to my granddaughter like your son's teacher has done to him. I also went to the principal only to have her do nothing. I finally got the school to test her for learning disability but I knew she was okay. she reads all the time and is good at it but she went from a A to a E in reading. I can not get any answers from the teacher. Nick is working on it for me. You can take the problem to the state board of education. I have taken Kiski Area school didtrict to the board of education a few times in the past over my son and how they were treating him.This is the next step for me with the school for taylor too.

Anna - posted on 05/22/2010

Another thought on this matter...if your son is in 1st grade and you said he reads at a 7th grade level and is advanced in other areas, maybe she's singling him out in hopes of crushing his giftedness. If it wasn't so close to the end of the year, I'd strongly suggest finding a school with a gifted program. My daughter is in 1st grade this year and has received comments of discrimination because she is 'white' and we live in a community that is probably 98% Native American. We are moving as soon as school's out this year.

Barbara - posted on 05/22/2010

If the principle won't agree then continue going up the chain of command. It sounds likes she is jeolous of your son and target him for harrassment because he was homeschooled his first year of school. Having someone present at all times is not bad. Even if that someone is you visiting the school. That can't deny a parent the right to visit the classroom and observe

Anna - posted on 05/22/2010

If principal isn't doing anything, go to the next step in the ladder--the superintendent. If nothing happens, the next level is the school board. Good luck!

Cori - posted on 05/22/2010

What a mean teacher!! Sounds like she has found her student to pick on for the year and has stuck with him!! No teacher should single someone out who is "just being a boy" especially when there is an obvious bully in the classroom that needs to be dealt with. I agree with you that another adult needs to be present when she is talking to him. Maybe she will think twice about saying anything if she has to be inconvinenced by finding someone else to stand in on the conversation.

Michele - posted on 05/22/2010

My heart breaks for your son. I am so angry about this. Whats wrong with that woman? I wish I knew the answer. My first reaction is to pull him out of the school because it is so damaging to his self esteem to be targeted by this woman everyday. What else can you do?

Jodi - posted on 05/22/2010

I have read what everyone has written, moms and teachers and you might not like what I have to say. My son is in grade five and this year was bad. His teacher is not teaching him, not telling us about missed assignment, giving us crap answers like it's his responsibility blah blah, saying he talks too much and so forth. Here is my response to this. All children will try to get away with not doing their homework if they can. They are kids. We did it. They are now doing it. It's up to the teacher to communicate to you if assignments aren't being handed in. I gave my son's teacher my email, telephone and a book to write in when he missed assignments. She refused. I asked her to put him in a seat on his own where he can concentrate on his work instead of sitting in groups of five because let's face it sitting in a group, three kids finish their work and start talking, the other two will talk and then get in trouble for talking it's totally and absolutely insanely stupid! When we went to school we sat in rows at our desks, did our work, didn't talk and the teacher was in control of the classroom. Now the teachers sit at their desks, go for lunch, kids are looking after kids, watching each other, and then get labeled bad if something happens and we are told it's their responsibility! Yeah okay give your heads a shake. Kids are supposed to feel supported, treated as individuals, when they make mistakes you correct them, pull them back, you don't speak to them in front of their peers with disrespect to embarrass or make them feel bad. None of it is excusable! And as parents we would never treat our own children this way.

So I went to my son's teacher and principal. I told them there is a month left in school and expect to see my face three days a week in the class whether they bleepin like it or not. At first they said it wasn't allowed. I told them I have a right to be there, I will make sure my son is doing his work, I will check the homework board, I will make sure he is not talking since the teacher can't do her job! I stuck my nose in.

It took only three visits before the teacher suddenly started emailing me. I made sure my son's assignments were on par and handed in. I continuously spoke to him yes about it being his responsibility to do his work. He is now sitting away from the groups and able to concentrate. He comes home for lunch because I told the school he WILL NOT be responsible for other students while the teachers eat leaving the kids in charge for all hell to break loose. And I documented everything and sent copies to the school, his teacher and the school board of my findings, feelings and outcome.

We send our kids to school to be taught, yes. But also to be in the hands of another caring adult. And adult who is not only supposed to teach them things but care enough about them to protect their feelings, self esteem and help them grow as individuals and I'm sorry if a teacher cannot do that they deserve to be fired! End of story!

Angela - posted on 05/21/2010

Hello, I've read your letter with my blood boiling because my son is now 7, only this year, we've finally managed to quash this exact problem.
When he first started school he was bullied by boys who were much bigger, they informed me ONCE, I was never told again, only finding out by finding the bruises and cuts on him. He'd tell me - not the school.
When my son started to retaliate, boy they wanted to tell me then, he was responsible for the ills of the school in their eyes. Every tiny thing was blamed on Dylan, this was passed on from teacher to teacher. I'd be pulled in every day to be told what a "monster" my son was, whilst his bruises, cuts and scrapes from their beatings was ignored, because frankly, they were terrified of their parents.

If my son had hit someone he was punished, not by the school, they just waited all day to tell me, then I'd have to do it, which seemed innappropriate, as children need immediate reprimand, not hours later.

One day, he came home with a muddy footprint on his back, when the teacher tried to brush it off, I snapped. My husband went to the head, I reported it to the teacher, we both demanded that our son be watched more closely, when other children mentioned that the same gang was picking on my son.

I do not care what anyone says, it is obvious that teachers can and DO take a dislike to one child for no better reason than anything any other child has done, they then blame the child for everything.

Go to the head, tell him/her you will not stand for it. Tell them you'd like to work with the school to quash the obvious problem the teacher has with your son, given that she's lied about your son upsetting people but if they do not sort it out so that your poor son is not being blamed for things far lesser than other kids are doing, and you are not being told about bullying issues, then you will go to the school board or indeed, the police, who have a responsibility to protect victims of bullying. From a parent who has tried it, finally, they will sit up and listen, good luck!

Kathryn - posted on 05/21/2010

I think that you must document every instance of this type of behavior from the teacher. I had a similar situation with my son's Kindergarten teacher. I started sending her an e-mail every time there was an incident, and every time I sent one I copied the principal as well. This way everyone saw everything that was said. I was not always the most diplomatic in the e-mails, but this gave us both the buffer of having time to cool off before replying. I would also stress to the teacher and principal that your son has the perception that he is being singled out. This will put the situation out in the open and let the teacher see how she is coming across to your son without feeling threatened. The other thing that struck me is that maybe this teacher felt threatened because your child is smart and ahead of the curriculum and that he was home schooled for Kindergarten.

Just my two cents, and I hope your child has a much better end of the year!!

Shelly - posted on 05/21/2010

Always ask for everything in written format. Document everything! I went through this to a certain degree, and with proof of all the self incriminating evidence stacked against the teacher, she knew she had met her match! I can understand your child at fault 50% of the time, but not all of the time. This teacher sounds like she's using your son as the example for the class and taking a situation making towards her way of twisting it to her liking and making your son pay the price for it. Even if it wasn't his fault she tends to make him the "class clown, or troublemaker of the class". This teacher needs to restep her boundries and be put into place. Also if you ever have a face to face with her, which isn't bad you can record her conversation (only one person needs to be aware of the conversation being recorded and that is you!) This way you have accurate statements of what she said and then you can save the tapes and have verbal proof as well as documentation! Just food for thought, this teacher sounds terrible I hope your son knows it's not always his fault and can finish the school year with the teacher!

Stacie - posted on 05/21/2010

I can almost guarantee that other kids are being mistreated by this teacher also.My daughter had a horrible kindergarten teacher who did not have the patience for 5 and 6 year-olds at all and shouldn't have been teaching. I felt like my daughter was being singled out, but come to find out, other mother's were having the same problems. I would advise you to ask around among the other mom's just casually if they have had issues with her and if they have then you all should talk to the principal as a group. Bullying should by no means ever be tolorated! If any one of my kids was being bullied, something would be done by me if not by the school in t he form of calling parents! I had terrible teachers all through school, but my kids, aside from the one kindergarten teacher have had really great teachers! I feel for you.

Heidi - posted on 05/21/2010

Hi Carol. I know what you are going through. My son's 1st grade teacher was unfair to my son, but not to the extent of your situation. I would go to the next person in the chain of command: the Superintendent. I would explain to him or her what is going on. I would also ask the principal to maybe sit in her class for a day to evaluate things. I know she probably would be on her best behavior, but the principal just might catch something. also, make a surprise appearance at the class. I know that would be hard to do because you have to check in at the office, but tell the secretary not to alert the teacher. Maybe set up something with the principal. Lastly, I would talk to child services about this teacher. Explain to them what is going on. Keep a journal of what has happened. I know it is close to the end of the school year, maybe the principal could allow your son to stay home for the rest of the year if possible and make up his work at home. This teacher does not need to be teaching. She is being abusive. If it were me I would find the teacher away from school and give her a piece of my mind.

Denise - posted on 05/21/2010

Honey the answer to your problem is BOARD OF EDUCATION. I am not kidding. I felt like my 1st grader was also being treated unfair several months ago. I done all the talking with the teacher, the principal and bla bla bla. Like you , nothing was done so my next step was making a call to the Board Of Education. I told them what was going on and that one phone call changed my sons and my world. No more nasty notes, no more of him comming home upset, and his grades went straight up. Trust me !!!! If you want to see a change for the better for your child. CALL THEM TODAY !!!
Im surprised the teacher didnt try to push you into putting him on some kind of ADD/ADHD medicine. She hasen't has she ????? Because if she has than girl we need to talk.