Older kids alone in shower?

Anneke - posted on 01/05/2011 ( 43 moms have responded )

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Hi! I was just wondering when other moms started leaving their older child alone in the bathroom for a shower/bath?? I think my oldest is getting old enough, but I don't know if he'll properly clean himself if left alone. As it is now, he pretty much does it all himself, I make sure the water is the right temp and that he doesn't slip in the shower. I'm thinking it's time to start letting him do all of it on his own. Is mom just holding on to her baby, or am I right to be concerned about him in the shower still??

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Well... you didn't say how old he is. ;)

My girls would shower/bathe themselves alone (though I could hear them the whole time) at 4. I would help them w/ their hair and maybe help wash their bodies once a week or so just to make sure they were getting clean enough.

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Amy - posted on 11/26/2012

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I too live in the Us sherri but was raised in bulgaria. We are a CO family however and see not issues with the human body. I don't get why darrell seems to think that is the case.

Amy - posted on 11/26/2012

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Darrell none of us are stupid believe it or not. If number 1 or 3 happen, pretty much any mother is going to respect that right. Number 2 means nothing because kids often fight about that.

Amy - posted on 11/26/2012

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The way society views nudity has no bearing on whether it not it should be done. And how exactly is it unhealthy to allow your child in the bath with you supervising? Most of the ladies here stated that they only help with things more difficult such as hair. My son bathes with me in the room, but besides the occasion we shower together for convenience all I do is sit and chat with him. He is capable of washing his body, but just likes time to chat with his mom is all. I think you are pulling stuff out of your ass personally to try to prove your point. The fact is nudity is not harmful. Only if you have an issue with nudity will your kids also have an issue with it.

Sherri - posted on 11/26/2012

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LOL I live in the US and we are not nudists.



Well since I saw my father naked until I was well late into my teens I seriously doubt it would matter in the least to me.



Well since I already have a 15 & 14yr old and they were the same way and honestly they still will stay in my bedroom on our computer if I am changing I don't think they much care. However, I also breastfeed my baby so they are all quite used to seeing my breasts multiple times everyday too.



For them if they close the bathroom door I will knock before I enter, but if they are in the shower I will walk in to use the bathroom. Hard not too we have 6 people that need to get ready at the exact same time every morning and we only have 1 bathroom.

Sherri - posted on 11/26/2012

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@Darrell I don't think there is any difference in a mom seeing a son naked or a dad seeing a daughter naked. I have no problem in either scenario.



Also my 6yr old can fully shower on his own except washing his hair but on occasion it is quicker and faster to throw him in the shower with me if we are under a time crunch.



My 6yr old has no nudity issues and opts to still dress and undress in the middle of the living room. He still walks in the bathroom if I am naked. I have no problems with this, my husband still will walk to the bathroom or from the bathroom naked too. If my older teens need their father or myself and we are in the bathroom they will walk right in too.



It is in no way destructive or has hindered my 15 or 14yr old son from becoming independent and they are well aware of boundaries.

Amy - posted on 11/26/2012

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Anyway I really think you should let them tell you when you they feel ready, and stay close until you trust them to do it safely. Some kids are going to be ready at 4 and others 11. There really is no set time with stuff like this.

Amy - posted on 11/26/2012

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No one is being paranoid darrell, simply giving their opinion on when they feel a child might be ready to transition to showering alone. And to be honest I really would not care if a father said the same thing about his daughters. Just because he would be concerned about his daughter being ready does not equal him being a pervert.

[deleted account]

My daughter wasn't left in the shower to wash herself until she was about 8. I would stand there and make sure she got all her hair washed I did that for about 4 months once I felt she could do it on her own I stopped going in there other than to set her water. I would go in and out while she was in the bath once she was about 3 but i was never out of the room more than 5 minutes. Now my 4 year old wants to wash herself but won't use the shower so i sit next to her and she uses a cup to rinse herself off.

Lysa - posted on 01/21/2011

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My middle one, now 8, was left o wash hmself and hair at 6. I just check when hehas finished to make sure he is clean and soap out of his hair

Jennifer - posted on 01/20/2011

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We have one of those faucets in "her" bathroom that lets u set the water temp so all you have to do is turn the water on. She was 4 when she started and I'd check on her and make sure everything was ok, but she's 9 now and she's independent, so unless she's had one of those messy kid days she even washes and conditions her own hair and for the most part has since she was about 6. I just went behind her and made sure she was all rinsed. She generally did/does an excellent job.

Amanda - posted on 01/18/2011

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my son is 7 and it was only recently we have allowed him to shower or go in bath.yeah we usally run water to get temp right but he is pretty capable shift any nice shampoo or bath things we found alot gets played with.

Sylvia - posted on 01/17/2011

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How old is he?

I think my DD (who is 8 now) was pretty much bathing herself by the time she was 6, but she has long hair (as in, long enough to sit on), so she still needs some help with the shampooing and conditioning. She's gone off baths and now prefers to shower, so DH or I will wash her hair, she'll rinse it out, and one of us will put in the conditioner, and then she does the rest of the washing (and whatever else it is she does in there :P) and rinses the conditioner out when she's ready to come out. At the moment she only showers once a week, but within the next two or three years I expect she'll start to get stinky and will need to shower more often; at that point we'll need to have a little talk about taking shorter showers so as not to use up the entire building's water supply :P

Katie - posted on 01/15/2011

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My daughter is 6.5. I washed her until she was about 4. Then at around 5 when she started taking showers, she does it all on her own. I adjust the temp to make sure it's not too hot, and then she washes herself, gets out, dries off, and gets jammies all on her own. You know your son though, so I would just gradually reduce the amount of time you spend in there :)

Denise - posted on 01/13/2011

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My daughter is gonna to be 9 in 2 weeks and she still takes baths. I give her the option but she loves playing with her little sister. Occasionally she will want to shower alone. I think when she is ready she will let me know.

Veronica - posted on 01/12/2011

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Every child is different, so I would go with your gut instinct. I would start teaching him proper cleaning techniques and gradually give him freedom. That's what I did. My son started wanting to wash himself when he was maybe about 5. So we started off slowly and I would let him do more of it himself when he was capable. Now he's 7 and can start his own water, wash his body and only needs a little help with his hair.

Marcela - posted on 01/12/2011

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My daughter is six and showers on her own. I only put the shampoo & conditioner on her hand because the bottles are too heavy and slippery for her. Once in a while I do help her rinse the conditioner off because I have noticed a few times that she doesn't do it throroughly. She pretty much does it all on her own but I step in once in a while to see if she needs help in anything.

April - posted on 01/11/2011

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Im a mother of 5 boys, my oldest 3 are almost 11, 10 and 6. I have a 2 year old and a 6mon. My oldest 3 do everything them self. With my 6 year old I just check on him and ask did yo do this and that make sure hair is rinsed all the way. My 2 year old if not watched he still slips and goes under or dumps all the soap in the water.

Angel - posted on 01/11/2011

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my son is 8 year old and we let him take a bath and a shower on his own he is old enought to know how to clean his body.

Amanda - posted on 01/11/2011

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my kids take showers alone but i get it ready. they are 5 n 7. my one yr old takes a shower with me or his dad. but when they turned 3 i let them go in alone. shower only. they do take baths alone though.

[deleted account]

My 7 yr old and up do it all themselves. My 3 and 4 yr olds will get help until they are about 5. But then mine are all girls.

Terry Ann - posted on 01/10/2011

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I still have to help my 8 year old daughter...but my 6 year old daughter showers alone, I just make sure shampoo etc is rinsed out. ....all kids are different......

Jodie - posted on 01/10/2011

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My oldest is almost 9 and he just started showing on his own the last couple of months. I still put the shampoo in his hair but other then that he does it all on his own.

Geraldine - posted on 01/09/2011

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My son is 8 and I leave him alone now in the bathroom to shower or bathe himself. I feel he is responsible and doesn't need his mum there washing him. He does not lock the door but we have a very open door policy in our house anyway. He knows what temperature the bath and shower needs to be at, he washes himself and washes his own hair. My 4 year old however I would not leave unless his older brother was with him. I do sometimes put him in the bath because of the temperature issue and how much water is in the tub. I am always upstairs so if anything happens I can be there straightaway. He often bathes with his brother and I always pop my head around the door to check on them, most of the time they flood the floor as they love water pistol fights! My 4 year old will wash himself and wash his own hair but me or my husband tend to wash or rinse his hair because it's better if we do it, less soap suds! Both of the boys have washed themselves by the age of 3, they know the danger of hot water and being careful near water. My youngest is nearly 2 and he always bathes with either me or my husband, he knows how to wash his body but isn't too keen on having his hair washed but he knows how to do it, he helps rub in the shampoo and rinse off with water.

Jessica - posted on 01/09/2011

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Mine were 4 when they started doing it on there own.
My oldest who is 7 today fills the bath himself too.

Kim - posted on 01/08/2011

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I started to let them do their bodies while I did their hair and helped with their rinse off. But by they were 7 they were doing it all by themselves.

Lisa - posted on 01/08/2011

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seven is old enough to take a shower by himself. I taught my boys how to take showers, and how to run the water them selves. I also set up a shower timer--otherwise they'd just stand there all day using all the hot water. At seven though, I'd still do baths at least once a week so you know things are getting clean. Then maybe a shower a few times a week on his own. mine are 8.5 and almost ten and they've been showering everyday before school since the beginning of the school year.

Angelica - posted on 01/08/2011

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How old is he? If he is old enough and doesn't want you scrubbing him. Just talk to him and ask him to scrub behind his ears, etc.

Anneke - posted on 01/08/2011

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My biggest concern is slipping. He knows to test the water before getting in, and doesn't play with the taps. He does a pretty good job of cleaning himself.

Klara - posted on 01/07/2011

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My 5yo pretty much does her shower with the door open and at times help with her hair. My 11yo has been on her own for a couple years, but I am in ear shot if she needs help. Its a process, and some kids need and/or prefer more help than others. Is your boy mature enough not to change the water temp., or know how? will he be careful not to fall, etc.? I worry more about that stuff more than if they are clean I guess. If they aren't clean, I send them back into the shower to do a better job. Eventually they will learn to do it right the first time. Good luck!

Anneke - posted on 01/06/2011

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Thank you for the info everyone!! I have been thinking a lot lately if it was time to cut those apron strings!!! It seems like it is time!!

Angie - posted on 01/06/2011

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Depends on the child but in general mine were 6. I stayed near by and asked them how they were doing the entire time - they didn't even know and they felt so proud.

Jamie - posted on 01/06/2011

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I don't know how old your son is, but my daughter is 7, and I let her shower herself. She get her towel, turns the water on, washes herself, has her clothes ready when she gets out....everything. If she needs help...I help her. Especially if we have like a wacky hair day at school or something to make sure she gets clean but for the most part it's all her and I think she enjoys the independence.

Keisha - posted on 01/06/2011

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I started letting my son take showers by himself with out any help when he turned 6. I realized that he could do this on his own, so I let him. I now can tell him to "go take a shower" and he gets his clothes or pajamas, turns on the water gets in/out and dressed all on his own.

Michele - posted on 01/06/2011

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By monitoring, I just mean we left the door open and only checked on him when he needed something or to make sure he rinsed off well. I didn't stay in the bathroom with him the whole time.

Sherri - posted on 01/06/2011

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Started doing it themselves at 4. With me just washing hair. I don't wait outside either. They get in and out and dry themselves all on there own.

Michele - posted on 01/06/2011

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My son started taking showers about a year ago. (previously, he only took baths). I monitored him for months until I felt he was able to do everything on his own. He is 7 (will be 8 in 3 months) and starts his own water, washes himself, dries himself, and gets his own undies and pjs. Our household water temperature is not set to "scalding" but he knows how to adjust the water before getting in anyway. I would monitor each step, and gradually let your son do a little more each time and just point out the soap in his hair, but make him rinse it until gone. That way he eventually learns how to "feel" it and be able to rinse it all out. That is probably the toughest thing to do for these little guys to learn.

Anneke - posted on 01/06/2011

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The oldest is 7. My 4 yr old does his body, I do his hair. Wow. I feel like I am really holding those apron strings!!! lol. Like I said, he does it all, I just wait outside the shower to make sure he doesn't slip. And to make sure he gets all the soap out of his hair! :)

Lissa - posted on 01/06/2011

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My five and six year old do it by themselves, I just wash their hair. I do stand outside the door though so I can hear them and make sure they are ok.

Ricki - posted on 01/06/2011

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How old is your son?
My children have all been able to wash themselves by 2yrs (of course not properly but at least they were trying,lol) and my girls were showering I think by about 4. I'd wash their hair and then leave them to do the rest, I'd wash them maybe once or twice a week just to make sure it was done properly, lol.
My son is almost three and he has been showering by himself for ages! I wash him and then go do whatever and just come and check on him every few minutes. He just sits there playing with his dinosaurs and boats. I'd never leave him alone in a bath though! I'm still petrified of him drowning in the bath.

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