parents died.. 15 yr old sister has no wear to go i want to take her but husband says NO!!

Loraine - posted on 03/19/2010

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have had both of my sisters live with me at one time or another. My sister Ashley and her son, my neph, lived with me on and off for years and I wouldn't trade those times in my memories for anything in the world. It was hard at times and my husband wasn't always all for it when she would come live with us, but he got used to it and grew to love her like his own little sister. She was going to move in with us again in November of 2005. I still had her bedroom all ready for her and my husband offered her to stay this particular time. SHe left my house that night and I never saw her again, she was killed in a motorcycle accident a few days after she left that night. I treasure all of the time that she lived in this house and all of the upset and the headache of taking care of your sister is nothing compared to the way you would feel if you didn't at least give it a try and let her stay with you. She is at a rough age and going through a rough time and it is a rough world. Your husband is your partner and he will learn to deal with the change. He is scared and unsure but trust me he will be fine. You are all the girl has as a support system she needs you. It is only fair to everyone to give it a try. Best wishes for your family, I pray that you and your husband and your sister find the strength to get through this.

Sam Marie - posted on 03/19/2010

i am so sorry to hear of your loss, and pain, and to think that your husband it not supporting you in every way possible at the moment i feel is very sad. i have to say if it were my family my husband and i already know that we would without doubt take it the memeber of family that was left. it wouldnt even be questionable. i'm not saying it wouldnt be hard, it probably would be, and we are a family of 6 in a 3 bed house with no money, but sometimes you just have to find a way. 15 is a vulnerable age, but the welfare can provide her with a home of her own at 16 quite often so it would probably only be for a year or so, but otherwise she would probably go into care when she is at her most vulnerable state. good luck. and get proper advice about what help you will have in carring for your sister financially ect.

Selena - posted on 03/18/2010

Hey there Tiffany, I want to start off by saying that i am truely sorry for your lost. We are all aware of the difficult situation you are going through but you must remember that you have to take care of yourself cause if your not right how can you help anyone. As for your situation i must say that i haven't been in your shoes and God knows i don't want to ever experience such lost and confusion. I am the youngest of 4 girls and i was a problem child for my single mother and she always shipped me to my big sisters house. I really don't know what would have happened to me if my sister would not have taken me in. I am now a married mother of 4 boys and i consider myself to be a submissive wife to my husband as the bible tells us to be but i don't think that the love that my husband has for me would allow him to make me make such a descision. I don't know your husband or your relationship but if this is the way he reacts to such an important time in your life and your families life you might want to re-exam your relationship sweetie!!! i'm sorry but this is BIG and if nothing more he should at least be there with you and trying to think of ways to help out. I really hope nothing but the best for you and your family and Please think about where your sister could be without you to help her. i had my first kid at 16 and that's with all my sisters in my corner. Just something to think about hon...

TINA - posted on 03/18/2010

I'M SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PARENTS AND I WOULD TAKE MY SISTER IN IN A HEART BEAT TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND ALONE AND SEE WHERE HE STANDS

Jennifer - posted on 03/18/2010

If I was you I would move her in. You are her sister and she needs you the most at this time...It is wrong of your husband to say no without even considering it and even more wrong of him to go to his mother...its non of her concern....HELP YOUR SISTER OUT...Its what she needs most.

Kimberly - posted on 03/18/2010

what!!!!!!! its your sister your blood oh hell no i would kick my husbend to the curb if he ever said anything like this and losing your parents i cant believe that take her and throw him sorry for being so straight out but i cant belive that.......tell your sister me and my family have plenty of room for her she could come here poor thing.......i hope you really take her and i will pray for your husbend to have a heart one day

Jacqueline - posted on 03/18/2010

A home where you know your not wanted is no home for a 15 year old! You love her and you are grieving yourself, you could compensate for this by giving in to her every whim A 15 year old will be more work than you may realize especially if she starts acting out! She will probably need professional help to deal. Parenting a teen can be stressful at the best of times. Someone outside the situation with the skills to help her through might be the better alternative. You will have a better relationship with her if you remain her supportive sister and don't try to become her parent. You may end up with her and your husband resenting you. There are programs available to her through social services that you and your husband would not be burdened with financially. In the meantime allow yourself to grieve and if you still think taking her in is the only option get a mediator or family counsellor. Make sure it's the best choice for your whole family. Your husband's feelings/fears need to be addressed. Angry 15 year old girls yell, break things, steal, lie, have sex, run away, try drugs, cut themselves, and hate adults! all adults!!

Kellie - posted on 03/18/2010

does he have a valid reason for not wanting her there? ask him what he would do if the situation were reversed. and see if he is willing to try it for a month, also maybe some kind of counseling will help or if you belong to a church you should talk to your minister. best of luck to you.

Amber - posted on 03/18/2010

Wow she doesnt need to lose you too in the process shes ur family and although ur husband may not agree she ur sister u should have a say. I know its hard to chose sides but he should let you make the choice please dont turn her away she needs you more then ever right now and she needs to know she has someone.Im not sure why your husband said no but I hope that you make the right decision. She needs you and although I know our husbands mean so much to us too we shouldn't turn our backs on family. Hope it all works out for the best.

Randee - posted on 03/18/2010

OMG first let me say I'm am sorry for your loss, second it is very unfair for your husband to make you choose this is your family. Honestly how unfair is this to you and your sister. A little story for you, I was getting married and my father came down for my wedding, needless to say he became homeless. I was a newly wed 9 weeks along and 2 children at home. I lived in a 2 bed apartment never did it cross my mind to tell my father no. We didnt have the space and financilly we were stuggling but he is my family. My husband wasnt happy but he understood that I wouldnt turn him away. Please consider marriages dont always work but your family will always be yours. Give her a chance to heal as well as yourself.

God Bless you and your sister

Marie - posted on 03/18/2010

to be fair she is your sister and you sholud be thinking of your sister and im self i would be telling my husband to fuck hes self

Heather - posted on 03/18/2010

Get rid of the husband and take care of your sister. I'm sorry but you married a cruel man. How can he not want to take care of your sister? What kind of person does that?

Rina - posted on 03/18/2010

This is DISGUSTING!!!! Its not enough to have lost both parents but to have your sister turn your back on you too?!
Maybe you should reconsider the "man" (and I use the word man loosely) you sleep next to every night...what a PIG!!!
If you turn your back on her now, you will loose her too! No man is worth that!

Spirit - posted on 03/17/2010

I think you should take in your sister. She is your family! She has no place to go and you are grieving with the loss of your parents. Your husband should support you, if he has concerns then he should voice them.

Nichole - posted on 03/17/2010

Wow! I cant believe that. I believe that draws the line. He should be understandable when it comes to your family. If i was in that situation i know it wouldnt be a problem. What if the shoe is on the other foot???

JEWELZ - posted on 03/17/2010

MY DEAR TIFFANY , SO SORRY FOR LOST !
MY HEAR GOES OYT TO U AND UR FAMILY. UR IN MY PRAYERS .
I MUST AGREE WITH LILLIANA SHE SAID IT WELL.
WITH LL THE THINGS THAT A TEENAGER GOES THROUGH AT THAT AGE PLUS TO LOOSE UR PARENTS ?? OMG THAT GIRL NEEDS ALL THE FAMILY , LOVE AND SUPPORT SHE CAN GET RIGHT NOW.
AM SORRY BUT UR HISBAND IS SOOO WRONG. 1. HE SAID NO WITHOUT EVEN DISCUSSING IT WITH U ? COME ON !!!!
2. HE WENT AND TALK TO HIS MOM ABOUT IT ?? THATS WRONG !! SO MOOMY IS IMPORTANT AND UR SISTER ISNT?
HOW IS THAT ?? MY DEAR AM SOO SORRY BUT IF THAT WAS ME MY SISTER W OULD B IN MY HOME WHERE I KNOW 4 SURE THAT THAT SHE' B GETTING THE LOVE AND SUPPORT SHE SHE NEEDS SO MUCH RITE NOW..
M DEAR AM SORRY BUT I HAVE PRAY ON THIS CAUSE HUTING FOR U . NOOOO WAY THIS IS RITE

Liane - posted on 03/17/2010

To me, this is not a negotiable issue... this is your sister and family takes care of each other. I can't imagine my husband putting me in the same situation that you are currently experiencing. Unfortunately, I think his lack of support speaks volumes about the kind of man he is and what he thinks of family bonds. I think I'd be seriously thinking about the kind of relationship you have with him. It would especially bother me that before discussing with you (his wife) he ran to mommy to ask her opinion! I would have been absolutely speechless...



I'm so sorry that you have lost your parents. It must be extremely difficult to grieve with your husband being so unsupportive of you and your sister. I have never been in your situation so I can only speculate as to what I would do however, my gut says I would take in my sister and hope he grows up and decides it was the only decision you could make. If he doesn't get on board, I'd have to tell him to move on without you.



I definitely think you should try explaining how you feel to your hubby. Maybe involving a counselor/pastor/therapist could help you two work this out... I'm sure you and your husband are well aware of the problems one faces when growing up in foster care. Not that there aren't some good families out there but most kids don't have a positive experience.



I wish you the best of luck while working through this difficult time. I hope everything works out for all of you (even your husband even though I sounded very critical of him).

Katie - posted on 03/17/2010

i think that she is family and that it is horiable that he is not going to let your own flesh and blood come live with you!!!!
have you tried talking this out with him??? like sitting down and really getting into it? where else is she going to go??? a foster home??? what it really comes down too is if she did go to live in a home or somewhere else would you be able to live with that decision???? remember that its your life too!

Heather - posted on 03/17/2010

You can get a new husband, not a new sister! She is 15, if he can not accept that then he is heartless and cruel. Family first.

Shannon - posted on 03/17/2010

My mom and step dad split when my step-siblings and I were coming into our teenage years. He decided about a year later that he could not deal with my 14 year old step sister and kicked her out! My mom was the closest thing she had to a mom as hers was in and out of prison all her life. She had no where to go and was bounced around friends homes and a foster home. She ended up turning to alcohol and drugs, and had a child when she was 16. Think about the welfare of your sister. I know people say your husband should come first, but honestly husbands come and go..sisters are blood and forever. If you do not take her you risk losing her forever, and your husband has shown a disregard for your feelings by not respecting you enough to even talk about something that is so important to you.

Delisa - posted on 03/17/2010

He is being selfish and self centered she's your family her mom and dad died also she has no where to go she's 15 how would he feel if it were his parents and his sister you wouldnt think twice about letting her come stay my advise is let her move in and if he loves you he'll suppport you good luck

Margaret - posted on 03/17/2010

she is ur sister she needs u how bad is it that u man can c how she needs u get the man out off your house every ur sister

Raelene - posted on 03/17/2010

I think that is really horrible of your husband. How would he like it if he had no where to go and no one would take him in? If he really loves you he will stay with you whatever happens, if he doesn't then he wasn't worth the effort. What does his mother have to do with this anyway? Stick to what you think is best, if that means that he leaves, then it was going to happen sooner or later anyway. Your sister needs you, who knows for how long. I have never been in that situation, but I do know what would happen if we ever faced something this big. We would certainly work together.

Rhiannon - posted on 03/17/2010

woah.. not a good husband.. if he was a man, and loved you and took his vows seriously there would be no question in his mind to help your sister. How sad.. I hope he either grows up or you choose your family. that is soo terrible.. Keep us updated darlin. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope things get better..

Melissa - posted on 03/17/2010

OMG, Tiffany!! Honey This is your SISTER! There is NO choice. I would be devistated if my husband did this. But the choice would be Non negotiable!!! choose the sister, Thats his coice if he won;t stay when you bring her home. How dare he put that to you like that? She is a baby! I have a 15 year old and what would happen to her if (we) her parents passed away?? She IS my oldest and i have 3 other chidren, This really makes me think!! My husbands sister passed young by the hands of her own husband when her two kids still lived at home. Her oldest son was 14 and her daughter was 9 at the time. They had to go live with the father's parents, while they watched "daddy'' raise another family in front of them, and play house to another woman. They had to endure sooo much from a drunken german grandmother, a piece of crap dad, and kept away from our side of the family for 8 years. When they were finally able to make contact with this side of the family, They wished they had run away to grow up in our loving lives! It breaks my heart we didn't have a hand in making that happen. None the less they matured wonderfully. She is 24 now he is 34 and teaches Athletics at a college in L.A. - She married a marine and is based in San Diego! But You really must see what is most important here! It was the luck of the draw for them. You must take her in and help her to finish growing, your parents are still apart of you! You can share what you know with her. I'm sure she will appreciate learning the rest of life from you and blossem into the most beautiful rose, and thank you for it in later years!! You will know in yer heart this is the right thing to do when you choose it!! Good luck sweetie!

Jaime - posted on 03/16/2010

So sorry for your losses. Your sister really needs you so she has a chance at an adult life. Your husband should understand this. I would choose her, she is still a kid and needs your support. Sisters have a special bond that other people don't understand. Ask him if it was your kids needing somebody what he would want for them.

MEGON - posted on 03/16/2010

NO I HAVEN'T BEEN IN THIS SITUATION, BUT SHE'S A CHILD AND STILL DEPENDENT ON SOMEONE. YOUR PARENTS ARE DECEASED AND SHE NEEDS SOMEONE. YOU'RE RIGHT, IT'S NOT FAIR. HE'S REALLY ASKING YOU TO CHOOSE. SINCE IT'S LIKE THAT I WILL CHOOSE.... MY SISTER. JUST BEING REAL, SHE HAS NO ONE.

Jessi - posted on 03/16/2010

She is your blood. She is young and if she ends up in foster care then you may never see her again. She is at a delicate age where bad things could happen. I think she would have a much brighter future if you were to take her. As for your husband...not cool. Take her in. And how unfair to run to mommy.

Mary - posted on 03/16/2010

i have to say when my mom passed away my lil sister at the time was 17yrs old, my older sister which is 35 took her in with no problem and my brother in law had no problem with it, he was the one who suggested it. family comes first no matter what, and think about what your parents would say to you, put your self in their shoes. if that happen to u, would u want your kids to do that to eachother. first i feel like your husband is a mama's boy. you all are adults, he should be talking to you, because you are the woman in your house. and i'm sure if something happened to you and him and your sister would take your kids. i really feel like its nothing to talk bout, that is your sister, take your sister in. take your sister in. may god be with u.

Danielle - posted on 03/16/2010

Bottom line, your sister will always be your sister, he may not always be your husband. If my husband told me we couldn't take in my minor sibling after our parents dying, I would have to rethink our relationship. I don't want to make you feel bad, but what kind of person wouldn't take in their wife's minor sister. It's called responsibility.

Maria - posted on 03/16/2010

I am sorry for you lost. I think you have to talk with your sister, you have to know what she really want. If she prefers to live with you i think there is no matter she can't stay with you, over your husband thought. i'm sorry to tell you this, but i think if your husband wants to leave you because of your choice, for you it's better to lose him. Good luck

Tiffany - posted on 03/16/2010

thanks everyone... she is a good kid .. has some promblems that normally go with loseing parents and having addicts for parents... we are seeking counselling and i will have my sister with me no matter what.. if there was a better option i would chose it but there is not. the other family members are addicts too.. i have made it outta that world and i am gonna bring her with me.

Wendy - posted on 03/16/2010

I can't believe your husband would make you choose....

Sarah - posted on 03/16/2010

i took my 10 year old brother on when my mum passed away and luckily my husband was ok with it but have had problems with his family accepting him really feel for you ,do you think your husband would change his mind i think the emtional support you could give her would really help it has with my brother but remember about you hope it goes well take care x

Nicole - posted on 03/16/2010

I'm sorry to hear about your loss...I have never been in you situation but really shouldn't be that hard to decided what to do...your sis is only 15!!! She is a minor still would you really rather her go into foster care and have to go through all that...she has already gone through enough with ya'lls lose! Why would you even think about pushing family out a child at that that you can provide for...I'm sorry I know I don't know your hubby but it really seems very selfish to me the way he is acting about it! If it was someone on his side of the family would he be the same way? When you marry you take on the others family...your sis is your family and a child at that!!!! Give her a chance to make something of her life to finish school at least.

Megan - posted on 03/16/2010

I have never been in that situation nor do I have younger siblings, but blood is thicker than water. I would try talking again with your husband and make him listen to your side. You can't just leave your sister after loosing both parents. I would like to believe that if I was in that situation I would choose my family. It's not fair that he is making you choose! You can't leave her with no where to go and you don't want her to resint you because you chose your husband over her. It is a big situation that both you and your husband need to sort out together. I hope all goes well and I wish you both the best.

Janet - posted on 03/16/2010

First of all, I'm so sorry for your families loss. Must be very difficult for you, especially if your husband is now adding more stress to your situation. He needs to be very supportive of anything especially during this emotional time. I feel you absolutely need to take your sister in. She is still a child and needs family more than ever right now! I can't imagine a husband even considering turning his wives younger sibling away. Does your husband have any siblings? If so, ask him if it were his younger brother/sister, would he feel the same way? He is being extremely selfish. She is still a child at 15. I have a 29 year old son and a 9 year old son as well. My eldest son will 100% accept responsibility for my younger child if anything happens to my husband and I. It isn't even a question. Who ever he marries or is involved with has to be on board with that as well. That is just standard operating procedure as far as he is concerned. You shouldn't even consider placing your younger sister anywhere but with her family. Why is your husband so against it? That is a question you need to ask him. Listen to his reason, then come back with your solutions. This might help, you may also consider seeing a counselor for their opinion. Sometimes getting an unbiased outsider's opinion (not his mother) will help. Good luck & God Bless you & your sister! ♥

Sharon - posted on 03/16/2010

A: I think he should have cut the apron strings when he asked you to marry him. That was when he decided that your opinion was more important than anyone else even Mommy's. At least that is what marriage is supposed to mean. That goes both ways. We can't run to our family members whenever we have a marital problem either unless it risks our safety and then we should ask for outside help. anyways...
B: That being said...Does he have a legitimate reason for her not being there. i.e. Does she use drugs, is she sexually active, is she into gang activity, do her and him not get along or has she done anything that has made him uncomfortable. There are a number of reasons that are sound that he could be saying no to. You also need to take into account here that if he has to cut the apron strings to his mommy and family when you get married so do you. Do you have Aunts or Uncles or Grandparents or friends of your parents who are not in a still flowering relationship but a more mature and stable one that can take her in. I know that you probably miss your sister and think it would be so much fun to have her at home with the shopping trips and everything, but if you take her in it is no longer and can no longer be the role of Sister and sister but one of parent and child. There are gonna be times when you are going to have to tell her no and she may not like that and may not listen so the guidance that you could give her will fall on deaf ears. I think you should sit down and discuss with your husband and your religious leaders or a counselor the pros and cons of your sister living with you. She should not have any part in these discussions either. that would be the same as your husband talking to his mother or other family about any decisions that you both need to make with out familial interference. If there are older family members or friends help your sister make the transition to their homes if they can take her. And just because you don't think someone will be able to, or want to, take her in, doesn't mean that she absolutely has nowhere to go. Also did your parents leave a will with a legal guardian for your sister. If so then whoever was named must take her in. or surrender her to Child and Family services who make it their business to place her with a close family member if they can and if it is in her best interest. Also, you may want to consider getting a guardian ad lid em for your sister until everything is settled down they may be able to find the best alternatives for your sister as they will be working for her best interest.
I am sorry about your parents. This is not only a hard time for your sister but for you as well. I wish you the best, and would only make one more recommendation seek grief counseling no matter what you do. It can be one of the best tools you add to your shed. They may offer you ways to deal with all of this turmoil that will be invaluable and also if you don't take care of your needs you won't have anything to give to your family. Don't let that happen.

Brooke - posted on 03/16/2010

She's your sister.... ask him to think about when he was 16, and to imagine that his mother died..... I can understand that he is hesitant about this, teens are a lot of stress, but when it comes down to it, she needs you more than he does at this point in life.

Nicole - posted on 03/16/2010

I'm truly sorry for your and your sister's loss, and now your sister is facing being alone. I'm truly sad for you, that you are put in a difficult situation that your husband would put you in this situation. My dad died in June and when my sister was lonley I picked up and moved home 1900 miles to be with her...she is an adult with her own family. She needed me I didnt even have to ask my husband, he just knew it had to be done. I thank him for his unconditional support. Your sister needs the only family she has left...and that is you! The pain of dealing with death of both parents and being homless at 15 is too much for a child to deal with alone. Please help your sister dont leave her alone in this big world! Your husband truley loves you he will follow and understand. I will keep you and your whole family in my prayers.

Monica - posted on 03/15/2010

You are not being unfair AT ALL!!!! I think if I was in your position, my husband would be needing to find a new place to live! I wouldnt even give it a second thought. If you know you have the space, and the money, I cant see what the problem is! I think your husband is selfish and is being UNFAIR to ask you to throw away your sister just because he doesnt want to be bothered for the next three years of his life! Did he say the same thing when you decided to have children of your own with him?? To not even talk to you about it shows a tremendous lack of respect for you and your feelings and your entire life! If she has nowhere else to go, she will go to foster care and I am certain that your parents would not have wanted that. Ages 12-16 are the most fragile years of a child and just to lose both of your parents at that age could throw someone over the edge, but to then be thrown away by the only family you have left...whoa..I dont know many people that could make it through that.

I was left homeless with my 2 yr old son after my grandmother whom i lived with all my life, and cared for the last 4 yrs of hers, died when I was 18. I had NOWHERE to go and no family to help me and she had left me NOTHING. It was the hardest couple years of my life and I am 32 yrs old now and think about it every day and have nightmares about it almost every night and I despise my whole family that threw me out in the streets to this day...and I was an "adult" when that happened.

The worst part of your situation is, even if you do convince him to let her live there and he doenst want her there, it will be an uncomfortable and unsafe place for her to be anyways. And if he convinces you that she can not live with you..and something goes wrong, you will never forgive him and it will only push you two further apart in the end. Just remember..men can come and go, sisters are forever!! She will never forget what happens to her from this point forward, and I just hope it is only good! Good luck and I am so sorry for your loss. I hope everything works out for the best for your sister.

Jennifer - posted on 03/15/2010

I have not been in your situation but I want to know what is wrong with your husband! I'm sure he is a great guy, but why would he be so opposed to taking in your sister after having something so traumatic happen to her. 15 is a very very hard age and there is a lot going on in her mind. She needs a good family supporting her and I don't understand why your husband is not willing to help. I would not think twice about taking in a family member of mine to raise and be there for. Your husband should not go to his mother for advice, it should be something you guys talk about together. I hope everything goes well for you and your sister!

Cindy - posted on 03/15/2010

Right now you and your sister are the best support for each other in a time like this. If you feel like he has not even thought about it and will not budge on the final say. Tell him how it make you feel. Don't let him get around what you feel you need to say. Like what Roxanne said, maybe he is just scared. Hash it and explain to him how important it is for your sister to be with you, but find out what his reason it for not wanting her there, maybe it is something you can talk him thru. Good luck and sorry for your loss.

Shellena - posted on 03/15/2010

I am not going to tell you any big long story. Yet, I will tell you this. If he can't see and understand what family is then he would be gone out of my house. Family may be distant at times but they are always there when you need them. That is when a family needs to pull together. If he can't understand that then he is not your family. That is just my opinion.

Mary - posted on 03/15/2010

I would take my sister in and your husband should also support this decision since she is also part of his family. Ask him what he would do if the table was turned and he was asking you to bring in his sibling.

Bridgett - posted on 03/15/2010

well my husband and i struggle every month to pay bills he is a bricklayer and makes ok money but cant work if it rains or is too cold and to have another child come into my home would just be sooo fregin difficult but no matter how bad things would get he would be the first to take my 2 brothers in because he loves me and knows how much i love them and of course he loves them also...but if i would have to choose i would say that i would NEVER let my brothers go live with strangers...they need to be with ppl who love them in a time like that and if he would say no i would tell him to hit the road no matter how much i love him because if he loves me then he wouldnt have to think about it....i hope everything works out for you and your family sorry for the loss of your parents and remember your sister needs you more than ever now!!!!

Byra - posted on 03/15/2010

I know everybody else has already said most of what I am going to say, but I find out why he feels that way (without his mom at his side). Also what kind of person is your sister? Not all 15 year olds are easy to live with. That being said unless she is a danger to your child, I think you should at least try having her there. I would never turn my family away. I love my husband, but he isn't always right.

Jamaica - posted on 03/15/2010

HUSBAND OR NO HUSBAND HE DOESNT COME BEFORE UR SISTER WHO IS UR FLESH AND BLOOD. ITS BAD ENUFF U BOTH LOST UR PARENTS BUT U DNT WANT TO LOSE THE RELATIONSHIP U HAVE WITH UR SISTER. IF UR HUSBAND HAD THE KIND OF LOVE FOR U LIKE HE SHOULD HE WOULD NOT STAND IN THE WAY OF U BEING THERE AND PROVIDING FOR UR SISTER. THE WELFARE OF UR SISTER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW. U WOULD BE TRULY HURT IF U DID NOT STEP UP AND LOOK AFTER UR SISTER AND SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER. JUST BE THERE FOR HER. IF UR HUSBAND LEFT TODAY OR TOMORROW UR SISTER WILL STILL BE THERE. AND YES HE IS WRONG FOR RUNNING TO HIS MOTHER LIKE A MOMMAS BOY.

Tammy - posted on 03/15/2010

i'm truly sorry for your loss! like others have said i dont know what u r going thru but i feel she is ur sister & family should come first! ur husband may be scared but he needs to talk to u first not his mother. check into a counselor for both u & ur husband (marriage) & one for u & ur sister (grief), maybe then u will be able to come up with a solution. the foster care system can be rough, she may just get bounced around & u may not get to see her very often. she needs all the support she can get, but so do u! best of luck to u & ur family!

Carnetta - posted on 03/14/2010

This situation happened to my husband and his sister. He was 16 and she was 9 when their mom was killed in a car accident. Their oldest sister took them in for 2 wks till her live in boyfriend put them out. They pretty much lived in the streets till her father finally took her in. His sister ended up pregnant by the age of 12 and guess who she blames it on. I think you should sit down with your husband and ask him how he truely feels. Sounds to me like he is scared of taking on such a big responsibility. I hope things work out for the best for your sister.