power struggles

DEBBIE - posted on 01/23/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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childern that are so willful that they think it;s their way or here comes a power struggle. help help!!!

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Ariana - posted on 01/26/2013

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What is the power struggle over?

You have to try to get rid of power struggles as much as possible. The two things especially you can't fight are food and potty issues. Don't even try to fight those, you can control the environment to influence what they'll do but you can't force them to eat or poo when you want.

It helps to know the actual situations to help figure out the best way to handle it, but for example I was watching my friends daughter and it was time to get dressed and I tried to pick out an outfit for her, she got these pink pants on but then put on this black shirt, and I told her, it's to cold to put a shirt on you need something with longsleeves. Of course then she yelled NONONO I want this shirt! I could have either let her win it, but then she'd be cold, or forced her to take my shirt, which would result in screaming, so I finally convinced her you have to wear something warmer, come and grab a sweater/shirt. She managed to find a hoodie type thing to put over the shirt and we were both happy.

Now obviously life doesn't always have an easy solution, but if you're having a struggle try to ask them, I want this, you want this, how can we both get what we want? So maybe you need to leave right away, your kid wants to play with this certain toy, you could bring the toy with you, you could promise when they get home they can use it as soon as possible, leave the toy out. Just whatever you can do to try and compromise on issues that you can.

Also try to get rid of battles that aren't necessary. You might do this already but if your kid wants to wear red pants and green tshirt, who cares? Anything that isn't necessary don't worry about it.

if you give more specific information maybe some better tactics on how to handle them could be figuring out.

Good luck!

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