Questions for first grader parents

Diana - posted on 01/29/2013 ( 17 moms have responded )

3

0

0

My girl is almost 7 years old. Her teacher is telling me I should take her to a psychologist because my daughter is a little impulsive, meaning that she talks at "inappropriate times" and she "stands out a lot". She never gets in trouble at school. Academically, her teacher says she is at the 2nd or even 3rd grade level (my daughter is in the first grade). I don't know if taking her to a doctor and putting her on medication is a very good solution. My daughter is NOT a violent child, she is our only child, maybe a little spoiled, but I don't believe she is having a psychological problem. What should I do? Please give me some ideas!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Psychologists do not prescribe medications, they deal mostly with behavioral issues through therapy and counseling. Only Medical Doctors and Psychiatrists issue medications. I would visit the psychologist for an evaluation. No harm can come of it, and you may actually get some peace of mind, or at the least some good advice.

Tammy - posted on 02/07/2013

13

4

0

My daughters class has the color chart, and I am fine with it all except on area. Green is good all day, Blue warning, Red in trouble. Im fine with those, but then their is orange for over and beyond excellent. My daughter all year g=has been so focused on getting orange that she is not happy with herself with being on green. She has never received orange and it has affected her greatly.

I think it is a dirty manipulation. The reason I say this is because she has been on green the entire year except two days, she had blue. Now if there are only 19 kinds in the class and they have a chance to receive orange on a daily bases, why has she not had a turn to receive it by now. I now at the point that I tell her that I don't want her to get orange, mommy is proud of green, and not orange. I understand positive enforcement, but I think this is a favorite kid game, at the expense of first grades.

Diana - posted on 02/07/2013

3

0

0

Thank you for all the messages posted, moms! They are really helpful! I had a talk yesterday with the teacher. From all she tells me, I understand my daughter makes her unconfortable by things like "playing with her teddybear on the carpet, although she knows she is not allowed to", or giving the answer at a question when she is supposed to wait to be asked personally (this is the "stand up" problem) and that she gets really upset when she looses at a game. I told her that I would be really worried if my daughter would say "I don't care about loosing!". :) On the other hand, the teacher said my daughter shows a lot of curiosity and stays on the task she gives her with a lot of interest and she communicates very well with my daughter. It looks like my daughter has problems communicating with the kids her age, but no problem talking with grown ups. She doesn't have a lot of kids around, other than her class mates. She was always surrounded by grown ups.
I grew up in a society where if I had an apple I had to share a bite with al the friends around. A few days ago I gave my daughter a few organic candies to give to her classmates and make friends, she was punished for that. "She knew she wasn't allowed to share food with the other kids! What if one of them gets sick?!" said the teacher.
And, yes, this thing with colors puts a lot of pressure on everyone, the kids and the parents. Keep in touch, moms! I am reading with great deal of interest every opinion! Thank you once again! You are wonderful!

Debbie - posted on 02/07/2013

11

0

0

I feel like so many kids are on medication and shouldn't be. Kids are little immature humans that grow up at different rates. I agree with the OP who mentioned going to class and trying to observe how she acts in class. Can you observe ( monitor camera) without her knowing you are doing it? Maybe she is just an outgoing little girl who is not challenged with the education they are offering. Maybe she is bored. There are so many things to consider besides rushing her to a psychologist.

If you can watch her you will be able to tell if she is acting different at school and if you think it can be something you can correct by reinforcing desired behavior in a class room setting.

She is so little - and it always gripes me professionals try and diagnose a child just because they are more outspoken than the quieter ones.

Tammy - posted on 02/06/2013

13

4

0

Diet has a big role in a childrens behavior. The amount of sugar intake as well as milk that's not organic, silk or almond will and can affect a child tremendous!!

If you look at the back of Hi C's, snacks Jelly, peanut butter, children are getting 50 to 100 times what they need in one day.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

17 Comments

View replies by

Mandie - posted on 02/06/2013

3

0

0

I had almost the same issue with my now second grader. He never got in trouble at school during pre k or kindergarten he wasalways so well behaved thats until first grade came in our school they use a color system for behavior he would come home and always tell me what color he was on and it was always a good color like green well he seem to start coming home with a few yellows which mean slow down caution so i talked to his teacher and she said he was talking when times he wasnt suppose to etc but she assurd me this is normal for this age. At this age they are testing boundries and really learning about school rules. I think as a mom you would know if their was something wrong with your child. I saw later in the school year and after sitting down with my son and talking with him and we also set up a prize at the end of the week if he was good in school all week we would do something that he choose to do during the weekend. It got better its a phase . Im sure your daughter doesnt need therapy by a specialist but maybe good mom therapy a little mommy daughter pow wow. :-)

Melissa - posted on 02/06/2013

1

0

0

I went through a similar situation with my son. Academically my son is very similar, he gets all A's and is reading at a 2nd to 3rd grade reading level. His teacher said at the begining of school that she thought he had ADHD, and that I sould try some things and if that still didn't work take him to a psychologist to have him evaluated for ADHD. So i did a little research and found a couple of foods that can effect different children differently. So I tried some things and it seemed to me that milk was a big thing that made him "fidgety" and deffinetly SUGAR! you would be surprised what has sugar in it. Anyways he became a different child after i altered his diet. And I had already made the appointment so I just continued with it. And after the results came back as he did not have any form of the 4 behavioral problems they test for, i gave her a copy of the finding. Turns out they also do an IQ test with it, and thats what she thinks his problem is, is that he is just bored. His IQ is 133 (I don't know how accurate that is for a 7 year old) but once she saw that, she immediatly changed her opinion and he will be "tested" for advanced classed in the spring.

Alberta - posted on 02/05/2013

60

11

1

Is she bored? I would guess that if she is academically more advanced she is just trying to not be bored. DO NOT medicate for brilliance. Maybe have her tested and see if she needs a more challenging classes.

Shirley - posted on 02/05/2013

27

1

0

No, No, No..Do not put your child on medication, she does not need it..( What the teacher is saying, is "your daughter is making a little noise and "I" don't want to have to deal with it".)
She's 1 st grader, she is still learning about social cues in turn taking on when to speak and when to listen. Exactly how does she "stand out a lot"?
Way to many teachers want kids to take meds way to quick...

Tammy - posted on 02/05/2013

13

4

0

My daughter is an only child as well and she is in first grade. Whether they are an only child or not, I don't think matters. Our society has this stigma that if a child is too talkative or active, then there is something wrong with them.

I would like to see the perfect child that all America's children are compared against, to decided if they have a real psychological issue or not. That child would be something sad and horrifying to behold I think, like a robot that does a teacher every command.

I know I loved to talk in first grade, and I remember that I got sent to the principles office and was spanked with a paddle. I'm sure I improved a bit after that, but I was not an only child, I had three sisters.

Are their any other concerns then talking, because that is just a personality trait that maturity will take care of.

Anonymous - posted on 02/02/2013

51

0

0

I completely agree with Shawnn. Maybe you need to see for yourself what's going on. If your daughter is misbehaving because of boredom, the teacher needs to find more challenging work but if this behavior is due to a lack of discipline on your part, then it's time to lay down the law with her. Kids need boundaries and believe it or not, they even do better socially, academically, and their overall behavior is often better. These boundaries don't need to be made with "gestapo" like rules but consistent and firm boundaries that are also fair and explained ahead of time will help you with parenting her.

SiewYean - posted on 01/31/2013

50

11

2

If the teacher has acknowledged that your child is at a higher level academically, she may be bored in where she is right now.
Get a professional specialist opinion is good. However, I do not suggest you go in with a mindset that your girl is having some behavior issues and need to be on medication. If the specialist determine there is behavior issue, you should insist putting her on behavior modification method rather than medication. Medication may not be the way and it can be detrimental to the health of your growing child.

[deleted account]

Natalie has a good point. I have very severe ADD but had to stop medicating for it due to conflicts with my other medications, weight loss, and my husband said I was "not myself" when medicated and he didn't like it.

I started to see a psychologist who helped me develop behaviors that I can follow to keep my mind on track. I have been off medication for over 3 years now and I am very happy using the guidelines that I learned.

Natalie - posted on 01/31/2013

2

0

0

My sister had a similar problem with her daughter. She took her to a doctor that said she has ADD or a form. The doctor said that almost everyone in America now has it because of technology and everything so fast paced. My sister said she did not want to put her on medication. So, he suggested doing things on a daily basis that prolong her childs attention span and helps her slow down. She said it worked.

Natalie - posted on 01/31/2013

2

0

0

My sister had a similar problem with her daughter. She took her to a doctor that said she has ADD or a form. The doctor said that almost everyone in America now has it because of technology and everything so fast paced. My sister said she did not want to put her on medication. So, he suggested doing things on a daily basis that prolong her childs attention span and helps her slow down. She said it worked.

Shawnn - posted on 01/30/2013

8,532

21

1997

If you daughter has a problem with keeping quiet in class, and wanting to be the center of attention, you need to talk to her about behaving appropriately at school. If the teacher continues to mention it, see if you can hang out in a quiet corner for a day or two to observe the behaviour. AT that point, you will be able to determine if your daughter needs a physician's intervention, or if she just needs to learn when it's time to sit down and be quiet and listen.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms