Nicole - posted on 05/17/2012 ( 47 moms have responded )
My daughter started kindergarten this year. She was four (turned five in September), and her birthdate came before the cutoff date. I had a feeling that she wasn't ready for school, but my husband and my mother in law (and even the teacher at the time) was convinced that she would be fine as the year went on.
My daughter has never attended preschool because we were going to home-school her. Now, I feel that's a disadvantage to her.
At the beginning of the year, she would touch people. I nipped that in the bud as fast as I could. She would hug her friends. The teacher thought this was aggressive behavior. She has a hard time focusing and staying in her seat.
The guidance counselor observed her behavior. She was playing with her shirt and pants. She was twirling her hair. The report said that she was on task 67 percent of the time; and the student that they used as a control was on task 97 percent of the time.
To address her bad behavior, she was giving a thumbs up and thumbs down behavior chart. If she gets up, her teacher will move a braclet from one wrist to the other. If she gets more than four moved, she receives a thumbs down. If she gets 3 thumbs up, she gets a sticker (which they never implemented). If she gets a week of thumbs up consecutively, she gets one of her books read to her during story time. She still is included on the color coated behavior chart.
When she comes home, if she has a thumbs down, she writes the offense. Time-outs do not work for her.
Academically, she is excelling. Yet, the Guidance counselor diagnosis her with ADHD and demanded that we place her on medication. My husband doesn't want to go the medication route (as a first resort) because he has severe depression. It would be the last thing that we would try.
During the school year, she has settled down considerably. She still gets out of her seat. We removed sugar completely from her diet. Yet, at the mother's day party before I got there, the K teacher gave my daughter SIX cookies.
At home, things are drastically different. She sits and colors for hours on end. She, recently, put together a 500 piece puzzle with her father and myself. She has 2 hours of TV | computer time. She goes to bed at 8-9 oclock and gets up at 7am (sleeping all through the night). We go outside and practice for T-ball.
Yesterday, we had her evaluated by her pediatrician. She sat in her chair in the waiting room, talked calmly about how she wasn't a princess when one of the nurses remarked that she was, and read until the doctor came into the examining room. The pediatrician concluded that my daughter was a normal five year old child. She recommended waiting until the early part of next year to see the neurologist if she had it (since she is so night and day at school and at home, doctors, her grandmother's house, restaurants).
We told her teacher. The teacher sighed and rolled her eyes. It would seem that she and the guidance counselor have concluded that my daughter does have ADHD.
They watch her like a hawk and mark everything she does. The day of the Mother's Day party, she was "lifting" her dress to her knees and showing her panties on the carpet. My mother in law, who works at the school, observed in class room a child doing the same thing.
Instead of starting things, I put aside the novel that I am writing and went over early to the school (15 minutes early) and brought her shorts to wear underneath.
Also, my daughter stuck her tongue out at another student after they did to her. My daughter's stick was moved directly from green to red for that offense.
Tomorrow, my husband and I have a meeting with the principle. I have a feeling that we are going to get sandbag. I don't know if she will threaten to remove my daughter unless we medicate her for an illness that her own doctor doesn't think she has.
October, when my daughter was in her hugging phase, she went to hug the principle. She yelled, "Don't touch me!" at my daughter. My MIL overheard her. My daughter went up to my MIL and said, "I only want her to be nice to me."
I don't think the principle is singling my child out, either. From other parents, she does this to their children.
I have PCOS and the stress from the entire situation is making my condition flare up. I am losing my hair once more and breaking out.
If it is affecting me, I hate to see what it is doing to my daughter. She used to love going to school. She was always out of bed at 7 am sharp, getting ready for the bus. It's like pulling teeth to get her up. She doesn't want to go to school anymore. When she got back from her doctor's visit, she told me that she hates school and she doesn't want to go anymore.