schools that spank

Beckydakota22 - posted on 11/13/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )

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so my daughter is in 1st grade and the schools here where i live still spank there students if there bad WITH PARENT PERMISSION OF COURSE ( ** WE SAID HELL NO**) but why is it borderline abuse if a parent spanks there own child but a school is allowed!!!,i just do not think this is okay, if my child is doing wrong it should be my choice to punnish!

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Heather - posted on 11/26/2010

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not a fan of corporal punishment from anyone. I wouldn't want my child to witness another student (whose parents may have issued permission) to be physically punished either. If the children are in school to learn academics and social skills, and working as a team, and problem solving - why would we condone the threat of physically striking a child, by an adult? Is this an accurate lesson of what will happen to them in the real world? Is this a good example of how they should solve their problems?
Doesn't it more tell of how the adults, the ones who should be teaching and caring for the children, have run out of ideas? How does it teach respect for adults? It may teach children that adults are to be feared. Sure they may tow the line after a spanking, but they haven't learned a strategy to handle this issue in the future.
And what about children who are under the guardianship of foster-care. Does the state just allow them to be paddled in school - yet victimizing them again? This teaches them that nobody is on their side, no one is willing to teach them how to be self discplined.
Over the years I've heard too many people saying, "why shouldn't we spank?, I was spanked and I turned out okay".....well maybe we need to re-evaluate what we learned and see if there aren't more effective tools out there, other than those we learned. Are the parents who are spanking doing so in the heat of the issue, or are they waiting until they can control theirt anger, frustation.
Well, as you can see, I'm not a fan!

Sylvia - posted on 11/22/2010

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OK, y'all know that not spanking is not the same thing as not disciplining, right?

As for the idea that kids' behaviour is much worse now than when we were kids (I'm also 36), if this is in fact true -- though I would not have said so based on my own kid's school experience thus far -- I think there are a lot of other possible explanations besides "Oh noes, schools are not allowed to spank the kids anymore!!!!!11!!" Like for example the fact that many school districts in the US are reducing the amount of recess kids get or eliminating recess altogether, and/or reducing the amount of P.E. per week. Like the fact that kids my DD's age (she's 8) spend FAR less time outdoors running around than they did 20 or 30 or 50 years ago and far MORE time staring at TV or computer screens. Like the fact that the current trend in school curricula is to expect more "academic" work from kids at much younger ages, so that whereas my kindergarten was half a day and involved Sand Table, Water Table, Storytime, Dramatic Centre, recess, free play, snack, and Arts & Crafts, these days a lot of kindergarten kids (especially in the US) are in school all day, sitting at desks practising for NCLB tests, and elementary-school kids are bringing home hours of homework a night. Like the fact that what with more two-job families, less free play time at school, less time running around outside, and more media and parental paranoia, today's kids have significantly fewer opportunities to learn the kinds of social and relational skills that translate to better behaviour.

Just sayin'.

Jennifer - posted on 12/11/2010

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This is sick and wrong. This is just telling every other child that it is okay to hit. I wouldn't even send my child to that school and if they ever layed a hand on my child I would sue the crap out of that school district for child abuse. I agree also that these laws are stupid. We even look at our child wrong and someone is calling CPS on us but yet it's okay for a school to lay a hand on a child. I DON'T THINK SO. You should look in to homeschooling or something else. There are some homeschools that are cheap or free or you can do what's called the voucher system for private school if your child isn't in private school already. This is just crap that they are laying a hand on another persons child, who's to say that they aren't going to go further? As for the paddle, that's even worse. Those leave marks and hurt very badly.

Carmel - posted on 11/27/2010

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Ok, seriously people - I was spanked as a child and I am probably one of the most gentle, kindhearted people you will ever know. I am also well adjusted and understand that there are consequences for bad behavior. Having just put a child in public school I am sickened by the lack of discipline. I wish all schools permitted more punishment, maybe we wouldn't have all the problems we have now. We are raising a society of selfish, mean bullies who know that no one can touch them!! Parents spanked for years and the kids turned out fine - look at the problems we have now with our youth. We even have employees in their 20's at work who have the attitude that they cannot even be told what to do by their boss. Guess where that attitude comes from??

Sandy - posted on 11/21/2010

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Rebecca, you get what many do not. It is not only the school's ability to discipline, but the parental involvement with kids too. My parents wanted to give me a spanking if I needed one because they simply viewed it as their job. However, some parents are not involved in their kids lives at home and do not keep up with their school and social lives either. The discipline received at school was the only they ever received. Now that schools are unable to punish by paddling, a lot of kids are getting away with all kinds of stuff that they should be punished for and are not learning lessons that being paddled teaches. I think paddling should be allowed in schools, and that parents should be able to write notes that they be notified and be able to determine whether to allow the school to paddle the child for a situation, or if they want to take care of it themselves. I think alot of things would get straightened out that way.

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Patience - posted on 12/02/2011

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I think the parents are the only ones that should be spanking a child.I have 6 children and would never give the okay for any school to spank my children.

TealRose - posted on 03/22/2011

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NO one should be hitting a child. Especially the school. How can anyone learn in an atmosphere of fear? How would YOU feel if you were at work and your boss had the right to hit you [or get someone twice your size to do it for them] if you messed up? If he had a bad day? If he didn't really like you ?? If he was a racist?

Why HIT a child, when adults, even criminals and animals are safe from being hit ??

I am a 56 yr old grandmother who was spanked and lost my respect, trust and love for my parents the first time they hit me. They never regained it. I never hit my children - and they are now fine adults. My daughter has two small children too - and doesn't hit either!

You do know, that that piece of paper you sign against having your child spanked is not worth a thing? That in many schools they STILL hit that child? That even if severe damage is done, the school and teachers in many States are 'exempt' from prosecution? That when the children are older, they 'blackmail' the children by saying 'if you take the whacks now, we don't have to suspend you and it won't therefore go on your record' - and THAT is teaching YOUR child to lie to you - by omission ie not telling you that they have 'chosen' to be spanked when you have been adamant that you don't want them hit ? You do KNOW that in most schools they hit children for trivial matters like being 5 minutes late for class, for dress code violations ie the wrong shade of green skirt [helllo? Didn't the parents send this child to school like this? Are you going to paddle THEM? Oh no of course not, THAT would be illegal!!]

Kim - posted on 12/16/2010

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corporal punishment is allowed in some states... i do not let them spank my kids, i will go and talk to them or punish then but not allow a complete stranger to do this when in other states it is considered child abuse

Tracie - posted on 11/28/2010

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According to you, I "deserve no response from you." Yet I get two of them.

According to you, it is juvenile to make fun of people you don't know. Yet you call me "stupid."

According to you, "there is no one size fits all right way for anything because all people are different. Yet you tell me I will "never be right."

See a pattern?

It is so telling that you were not willing to address even one of the direct points I made.

I'm all done talking to you. It's clear that you have been brainwashed to believe that you deserve to be hit and so do your little children, since logic, sense and humanity have had no effect on you. Have fun hitting your little Jesuses.

I feel really sorry for all of you. I hope you find peace some day.

Sandy - posted on 11/27/2010

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I would tell you to stop being stupid, but that would be a definite waste of breath and time. You simply don't know how to stop and you make that obvious with each continued post. I was raised right and well, and that included getting a spanking when I needed it. You don't know me, my family, or anything else. There is no one size fits all right way for anything because all people are different. Like it or not, that is the hard simple FACT. Like it or lump it, makes no matter to me, but such is life. Get one.

Tracie - posted on 11/27/2010

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Sandy Elders,

That's funny. You hit your kids and I don't and you're going to pray for me. You probably don't see the irony in that. Pray away, just stop hitting people and using your religion as justification for doing it.

Sandy - posted on 11/27/2010

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Dumm,
You deserve no repsonse from me. I will keep you in my prayers though that God shows you the true way and the light. You really need it. The fact that you don't believe in the Bible or in God almighty, the one and only God, Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior, is all I needed to hear. Explains alot. You can speak as many languages as you want and think you are intelligent, but intelligence is a gift from God, and obviously you don't have it. So, say what you will, it will never make you right. My opinions and beliefs are my opinions and my beliefs, and just because you feel or think differently does not mean that you can sway me at all. I am very founded in my faith and nobody can change that. You will have to answer for your beliefs one day. That is why I will keep you in prayers.
All the best,
Sandy

Tracie - posted on 11/27/2010

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Sandy Elders,

Hee hee. Just read your response to my post about hitting children never being a necessary part of teaching them. I hardly know where to begin.

First of all, hitting is not discipline. Teaching is discipline. If your deity wants you to hit your precious little children, well I can't say that's a deity that is worth worshiping, in my opinion.

I don't hit my children. I discipline them. The word "discipline" means "to teach," which is why I am constantly getting compliments from everyone (teachers, family, friends) about how amazingly well behaved my girls are. My older daughter was even awarded Citizen of the Year at her private school. My younger daughter's teacher tells me at least once a week that my girl is her favorite student because she is so lovely to be around. Both are straight A students. Hardly sounds like they are running wild, wouldn't you agree?

I find it beyond hilarious that you try to insult me by calling me liberal, making fun of my last name (wow - how old are you?) and then say that *I* am attacking people I don't know. Hypocrite much?

And for the record, I have a genius IQ (157), speak 5 languages and have traveled all over the world. You need to get out more. It will help you have a more rounded view of your job as a parent.

I do not believe in the bible, but there is one part of it that I strongly agree with - treat others as you would like to be treated. Think about that next time you raise your hand to one of your precious babies. And I do believe that your Jesus once said, "Whatever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me." Still think hitting children is in line with Christianity?

Best of luck to you and little ones.

Sandy - posted on 11/27/2010

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Carmel,
I could not agree more. This topic and conversation has reminded me of arguments for gun control in the past and papers in various legal classes that I have taken as well. Florida does tons of studies and has proven time and again that the more guns that are owned and carried by law abiding citizens, the fewer violent crimes that are committed in those areas. I think both conversations and the statistics that back up each just proves the case for both discipline and the right to bear arms. LOL. Thanks for your comments. Nice to know that some Americans who are out here still believe in the things that make and have made America strong. I believe certain situations call for spanking. That is my opinion, and I have been happy that my parents loved me enough to pop my butt a few times. My kids have already told me a couple of times that they understand why they got a spanking and that they honestly and truly needed it. They are 11 and 8 fixing to be 12 and 8. They are pretty smart. Great post.

Rhonda - posted on 11/26/2010

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I work at a school that enforce corporal punishment. My children have also attended this school. My daughter has even had her share of corporal punishment. I don't think her having being sent to the office has been a reflection of me not doing my teaches at home but some children need to test the waters. My daughter is one of them. She has hence through the years not been sent to the office, she is now 9 yrs old. She finally understands that if she did wrong she would get punished at school and also at home. Now her first few offenses yes she got talked to by her teachers, recess taken away, sad faces on her daily report (that's when she would get items taken away at home), but after so much talking and taking of things away at home the teacher approached me with the ongoing behavior I said yes send her up. She wants to continue on this path she will feel just what it will get her. Our principal or asst. principal takes care of the paddle. And the child gets 3 swats across the rear end. I know my school is not the type of school that just loves to get students in the office to swat at them. But we do have parents that are not involved in their child's behavior at home or at school. So yes if the principal calls home and the parents wants them to paddle their child then so be it. And if the parents don't want their child paddle then there are other punishments ... after school detention rings a bell, I can't remember right off the top of my head right now what the younger ones would get. I know it varies with each child and how severe the act of disrespect.I strictly believe in the saying "it takes a village to raise a child". I'm a single parent mom and I have one passive child (my son) and one very outgoing child (my daughter) I need all the help I can get. At the same time my children have learned that disrespect and unruliness is unacceptable. I have gotten some excellent compliments on my childrens' behavior when they are not with me.
Overall my vote is yes for corporal punishment in the school and let the parents decide if they want their child to receive it.

Donna - posted on 11/26/2010

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The only promblem I see with this is what if there is a group of children misbehaving two of them get a smack and the pther ones parnets have with drawn permission what pusihment does that child get? It has to be one rule for all!

Cricket - posted on 11/25/2010

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"With Parent Permission" This constitutes "Parent's Choice". If a parent grants permission then that is their choice. While I most likely would not give permission, I would gladly live in an area where the parent can make that choice vs. not have a choice at all in how to raise their child.

Sandy - posted on 11/24/2010

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Val,
Parental consent should always be sought, and I agree with you completely. If parents know their children attend a school that spanks, then they should send a note to the school telling the school that they do not want their child spanked and that they will handle all punishments if the school makes them aware of the situation.

Sandy - posted on 11/22/2010

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Cheryl:
Being married and having a family is not for the weak. It is a true blood sport. LOL. If you don't care, who else will? Nobody. I homeschool, but my kids don't get a free ride when they misbehave or act badly. They have to learn lessons in order to function in the real world. The real world is sometimes ugly and cut throat. I want my kids to grow up strong, independent, and able to deal with those who would not necessarily mean them any good. Thank you for your comments.

Cheryl - posted on 11/22/2010

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Rebecca & Sandy. You really are good moms! I can see that you care about how your children grow up into adults. I do find that parents these days fling their hands up in horror and say to their children" but the school can't smack you" and from that moment on, the child knows that he is the tail that is wagging the dog! That poor kid will never know any sort of discipline and if parents are too tired or unwilling to give it, then our children suffer in the long run.

~~~~ Bring back the old days please!

[deleted account]

I've only skimmed the discussion, but here is a list of the US states and where they stand on corporal punishment in schools. There are no laws in the US against corporal punishment in the home, so you can't loose your child for spanking them unless you are spanking so hard you bruise them or cut them.

Alabama--Legal
Alaska--Illegal
Arizona--Legal
Arkansas--Legal
California--Illegal
Colorado--Legal
Connecticut--Illegal
Delaware--Illegal
District of Columbia--Illegal
Florida--Legal
Georgia--Legal
Hawaii--Illegal
Idaho--Legal
Illinois--Illegal
Indiana--Legal
Iowa--Illegal
Kansas--Legal
Kentucky--Legal
Louisiana--Legal
Maine--Illegal
Maryland--Illegal
Massachusetts--Illegal
Michigan--Illegal
Minnesota--Illegal
Mississippi--Legal
Missouri--Legal Montana--Illegal
Nebraska--Illegal
Nevada--Illegal
New Hampshire--Illegal
New Jersey--Illegal
New Mexico--Legal
New York--Illegal
North Carolina--Legal
North Dakota--Illegal
Ohio--Legal
Oklahoma--Legal
Oregon--Illegal
Pennsylvania--Illegal
Rhode Island--Illegal
South Carolina--Legal
South Dakota--Illegal
Tennessee--Legal
Texas--Legal
Utah--Illegal
Vermont--Illegal
Virginia--Illegal
Washington--Illegal
West Virginia--Illegal
Wisconsin--Illegal
Wyoming--Legal

Rebecca - posted on 11/21/2010

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I'm old school and don't have a problem with spanking. I see quite a few have posted comments to the contrary. My arguement is this; When I was a kid you didn't see kids at school with guns, you didn't see children hanging themselves because of bullies, you didn't see children behaving so badly that in some schools there are armed guards posted to keep the peace, kids weren't killing kids. And why? Because disipline has gone out the window. My 2 older children never needed a spanking. They're just good kids, have always listened and done as they're told. My youngest however is hell on wheels and pushes the envelope whenever possible. He's learned that a spanking comes with his misbehavior. I mean come on isn't a spanking for jumping on the bed repeatedly better than letting him fall off and crack his skull on the night table or the dresser? I'm not talking about beating a child, not child abuse. I'm not barbaric because I believe some kids do need a spanking and they just don't respond well to talks or time outs. My other two felt like a time out was the end of the world and worked very well as punishment. My youngest would need time outs for misbehaving in time outs.
As for the schools, those that don't agree and they're school has it, sign the paper and get over it. Your child will never be spanked. I however will most definitely allow the school to resort to that punishment. My parents allowed the school to spank us if need be, we never were and I never saw anyone spanked during my childhood school days. I think the fact that it was hanging over our heads as a possibility kept us in line.
And I'm not old by any means, I'm 36 ;)

Cheryl - posted on 11/21/2010

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I think there should NEVER be a law against parents disciplining their children. The children know this and we have so many delinquents now, its unbelievable. I can't understand how a child in Grade 1 can be so naughty that it has to be spanked anyway! Doesn't say much for the parenting skills up to now. I would definitely find out why the child would be spanked. I would agree with High School spanking, as those kids are just unmanageable these days. No wonder the teachers have given up... Its the parents duty to bring the child up responsibly in order for it to have manners and behave at school anyway.

Sandy - posted on 11/20/2010

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Becky, I think disciplining children, though hard to do sometimes, is necessary. Even a spanking. However, the school is not necessarily the right place to do it. I agree with you with regard to it being your choice to punish, not the school's. My mom sent a note to school with me that paddling would not be done at school. If I needed to be disciplined in that manner that she would be the one to issue the punishment. The school did not like it, but I was never paddled at school.

[deleted account]

First of all it depends on what state you live in whether or not spankings are considered abuse. we have corporal punishments in our school here and you can opt out if you wish to. with that said, first of all they do NOT sit there and beat your child. my child has gotten quite a few swats over the years, she has never been harmed by this, as a matter of fact the principle who gives the swats is one of her favorite people. first offense they are talked to by a teacher, 2nd offense of same problem they are taken to the principle to discuss what will happen, 3rd offense of same problem 1 single swat, 4th time same problem 2 swats, 5th time there is a huge parent meeting. as i said before my child has gotten quite a few but i can say this, she has never gotten 2 swats for the same thing. so if they get in trouble every day but it's something different every day they would not get a swat. i think it's great those parents that do not have to spank their children & their children are still respectful, caring, & cooperative children, but that is the exception not the rule. most children who do not have a harsh punishment every now & then are little buttholes that run their households. in my house i am the ultimate ruler, my grade school children are opted in for spankings my 13 yr old on the other hand is not. i think once they hit junior high that they are too big for spankings. and i'm sorry to those that think spankings are horrifying, but i can tell you from my experience, every single person who does not spank their child that i know personally (without exception) their children are rude and spoiled little children. as a matter of fact one of these family's that decided not to spank their children punched my youngest daughter (age 5) in the face, now she is hitting, did i spank her no, is she grounded from everything fun yes. she has not hit since but i have issues with people stating that spankings are evil & even in California where most people think spankings are outlawed they are not, i grew up there (i live in Oklahoma now) the spanking has to be with an open hand on the buttocks never leaving a bruise or a scratch. one kid decided to call the cops on his parents on my block, they had never raised a hand to him but threatened him with a spanking, when the cop heard the story, he gave the mother to give the child a swat right there in front of him as long as it was on the buttocks up to 5 swats. the mother chose to do 2. the police officer then informed the 13 yr old that his parents could actually call the law on him for being aggressive towards them. i can tell you this, that kid treated his parents a lot better after that.

Mandy - posted on 11/19/2010

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I didn't think that would be allowed anywhere. No way would I give permission for my children to be spanked. There is no way it should be returned to schools either - violence begets violence.

Lynn - posted on 11/19/2010

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I live in UK and teachers are not allowed to come into physical contact with a child in process of discipline.I am 39 and when I went to school we had the sort of teachers that you were too scared to muck about and cause problems, they were still allowed to cane your butt when I first went to school,but since teachers were far better quality then,they knew how to control a class of unruly kids without resorting to a cane. Schools should not be allowed to spank children but they have teachers so young they are barely out of school themselves,that coupled with lack of life experience and the law practically giving kids carte blanche to run riot, the education dept and parents together need to come up with some very strict and effective consequences because otherwise,what else are we teaching these kids that will soon be let loose on the rest of society?
Schools are too soft and too lax when it comes to discipline and control.
I don't need to spank my 13 year old,he has grown up with the knowledge that if I ever get to 3 when I count,he is going to be sorry,so we have not got that far in many years.
My toddler is another mattter,he is like satan's spawn on acid at times and no punishment I give him works,he just laughs,but I need to nip it in the bud and find an effective punishment or he will go to nursery or school and everyone else will suffer and it is my duty to make sure I send a well behaved and adjusted child into the world,without anyone(including me) feeling it is right to lay a hand on him. I would however support a school who instilled firm discipline and had kids under the belief they were getting the cane if they went too far.

Sherri - posted on 11/18/2010

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Certain states do have schools that are allowed to spank. The law for corporal punishment varies state to state and is set by the state.

I wish we lived in state that our children could still be paddled on their rears at school.

Sylvia - posted on 11/17/2010

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Wow, seriously?!? I sure wouldn't send my kid to that school.

I kind of think you're asking the wrong question -- my question would not be "Why is the school allowed to spank my kid but I'm not?" but "What is wrong with our society that people think it's okay to hit kids?"

... but maybe that's just me. I had no idea there were still schools that spank kids. I'm pretty sure you'd get arrested if you tried that in any school in this country.

De-anne - posted on 11/17/2010

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In Australia you are NOT allowed to smack a child at school. I was told by a teacher when my eldest was in grade 1 (2007) that if they had a child under the desk and was difient and didn't want to come out, they had to coax it out. They couldn't pull the child out. She told me they could get in trouble. If the child had a red mark on their arm, they could complain to their parents and the teacher would be in trouble. It is silly the way things have gone. I know of a child who defended themselves and they got in trouble and was nearly suspended and the other one, it was like a pat on the back! I have no problem with giving a child a smack, if she is naughty. They need more discipline in the schools. I do remember a ruler across the hand when I was in grade 2 (the late 70's). I agree with you saying "no" to having your child spanked. All the best.

Lashanda - posted on 11/17/2010

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What state do you live in? I did not know that any school could still spank a child. I would not allow the school to spank my child either!

Angel - posted on 11/17/2010

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o my word.i would think it would be up the parents if the child is doing wrong on how to punish there child not the school.i agree that if we spank we got into trouble saying we are abuse our kids but the school can spank i would think that is child abuse my self.

Angie - posted on 11/16/2010

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Check with the state board of education and find out if this is a legal practice...

Beckydakota22 - posted on 11/15/2010

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thats what it was called i could not remember corperal? it is allowed atill with permission!

Angie - posted on 11/15/2010

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I didn't even think that was legal anymore. I don't hit my children and I'll be darned if anyone else will! I think that children should face consequences for misbehavior but hitting is barbaric.

Michelle - posted on 11/14/2010

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I don't think legally a school can spank a child that is corporal punishment and that was abolished in schools before my time and I am 34. I think there is something fishy going on at your school if they are saying it is ok with parental permission that is no different then them saying they can beat your child with your permission. I would look into that.

Heather - posted on 11/14/2010

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I so remember the paddle sitting in my principals office... and the fear of it... brings back memories. But I don't remember anyone ever getting paddled. I'm not saying that corporal punishment is ok. I would guess your local school board has had the same policy in effect for years and just hasn't taken it off the books. Or your school's principal is seriously old school. I'm sure you are not the only parent who thinks that spanking by school officials is not right. I have a feeling that a petition that floats around your schools PTA and makes it to the local school board would be more then enough to get rid of this policy.

Amanda - posted on 11/14/2010

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Oh my goodness!!! I didn't think schools were still allowed to do this!!! I would say HELL NO as well!! What the heck!! Aren't schools supposed to be promoting safety!!! They're supposed to protecting our children!!! What the heck!!! What about daycare centers?! Are they allowed to spank children if they act up with parents permission?!?! This is bullshit!! Sorry!! But yes I agree how is it that a parent could lose their children if they were to spank them but a school can get away with it?! I do inhome daycare and I would NEVER think about putting my hands on someone else's child!!! My opinion is HELL NO...that's WRONG!! Soooo wrong!

Candy - posted on 11/14/2010

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Wow I didnt know there were schools that still spanked. What you said it is your choice. You said no they couldnt spank your child so it is still your choice. I think it should be back in all schools. Maybe we wouldnt have all the rotten kids that are in them now. It is sad when the good kids are the very few and the bad ones are the whole class. When I was a kid,you had one bad kid now it is the other way around. You have one or 2 good kids and the rest are rotten.

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