Should I have a party for son's 7th birthday this year even if I'm afraid nobody will come?

Glenda - posted on 04/21/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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His birthday is in the second to last week of June. We have had a birthday party for him every year, but only last year did he include kids other than family. My family lives far away, and I did not grow up in this area or currently have many friends that live close. Last year, we had his party a few weeks early hoping to get more kids from school to come. He went to private school and he was invited to other kids' parties througout the year. We invited his whole Kindergarten class. Three boys from school came, plus his two younger cousins with my husband's brother and his wife, my parents, and my inlaws. My husband's brother and his wife have a 3 and 4 year old girl and boy, and their birthday parties are always packed out with tons of people and gifts. My SIL grew up in this area and has lots of friends and family here. I am not in any way jealous of my kids' younger cousins, nor does my son appear to be jealous, but he does notice that not as many people come to his and his brother's birthday parties. My son is at a new public school this year that is not the school that the kids in our neighborhood go to because we had him transferred to be close to his grandparents so they can pick him up from school. His teacher said that he seems to have a lot a friends and gets along well with kids in not only his class, but in his entire grade. Even though he appears to have friends at school, I've never met one other parent of a boy in his class, and he has never received one party invitation from anyone at school this year. I am concerned that, even if we invited his whole class again, that nobody from school would come. He doesn't have any friends in the neighborhood, and there are only a few girls his age at our small church who we invited to his party last year, but they never came. Due to my changing to a high school teaching job this year, I cannot have the party early like I did last year because my husband and I will both have to be at graduations that Saturday. My parents cannot come this year because we are meeting them at a family reunion in early July, and they can only get so much time off from work. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law and their children are going to be on vacation around the time that I would have to have the party. I know that my son will be disappointed if he doesn't have a birthday party since he's had one every year, but I also think it will break his heart if just my inlaws, my husband, his brother (20 months old), and I were the only ones at the party. What should I do?

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Tracie - posted on 04/23/2012

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Invite one or two special friends for a fun day out. We did this for my daughter when she turned 7. We took 4 kids (including our birthday girl) to lunch and a movie and then went home for cake and presents. They all had a blast and my daughter loved being with her "best friends."



Good luck!!

Jakki - posted on 04/26/2012

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I think inviting the whole class is part of the problem - I'd target a handful of kids that he's close to, track down their parent's phone numbers, and call them individually and invite them like that. You could start making contact several weeks early, so there's no excuse that they already have something planned.

I think the problem for your previous parties might have been that you hadn't established a good contact first before the party invite went out. PS you could also invite some neighbouring kids - doesn't matter if they don't go to the same school as your son, it's nice to have different groups of friends.

Good luck!

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Michelle - posted on 05/08/2012

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Some of my friends either don't do a party or just invite one or two friends. The one who doesn't do parties takes her children to something that they wouldn't normally do. My others would take the couple of friends and do something extra special. For instance, go to a water-park, movie, or whatever.



My twin boys birthdays are in the summer and I just ask them who do they want to invite. They tell me and I either call, email, whatever the parents. A lot of their friends are not just from school, they are also neighborhood kids, and friends they made when I was in the MOMs club and other such places. You don't have to invite just school friends.



With fewer kids over you can do more fun stuff sometimes. One year I did a sleepover. Another year we made tie-dye t-shirts with squirt guns and then afterward they played with a slip-n-slide and such. Another year they got laser tag guns for their presents (6) and the kids played laser tag. The possibilities are endless. Also with fewer kids maybe you can afford to go someplace like a bounce house or laser tag place or wherever.



I don't think kids care as long as they have fun.

Carol - posted on 04/25/2012

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It's tough with school being in a different town. Is there any chance you could have it in that town like Michelle said? We school choiced our kids too for about 1 1/2 years to a school about 30 minutes away. Playdates were tough becuase the parents all acted like we lived on the moon. I wound up driving the kids both ways most of the time even when they came to my house. Birthday parties had the same problem. Some friends did what Tracie said and just took a couple best buddies to a special place. One family invited my son to Medieval Times and an ice cream place afterwards. It was awesome. Another took a bunch of kids to a skating rink with laser tag. A third did the movies. You could also ask the teacher if you could just throw a pizza party during lunch for his birthday.

Michelle - posted on 04/21/2012

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My birthday is at the end of August, and my sons is right after Christmas and we run into the same problem so my mom always had my birthday at the end of September so we were back in the swing of things and I would invite both dance friends and school friends. My son doesn't go to school in the same town we live in he travels into the city to go to school, so the majority of his friends live in the city what I do is pick a fun activity in the city and plan his party for there, we rent a pool or have done laser tag something the kids will find really fun he usually has a packed birthday party. Why not have his birthday party at the end of May and that way it is not so close to the end of the school year and honestly a lot of parents don't really get into the whole birthday party thing until grade one.

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