Should I move back closer to family?

Melissa - posted on 02/20/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I live currently about 1500 miles from family. I'm divorced and been so for almost three years. For the past three and half years I've bascially done 100 % of the care of my son alone. I have no family here. My ex spouse is here and he's been in/out of alcohol rehab and relapses, etc. He is doing better currently, but not in any position to help much with childcare (no car, no job right now, looking for job). He hasn't paid any support since last summer and even before that was not giving me full support payments.



My lease is set to exp. here early April and I'm considering, should I move closer to family. The rent is going up here and if I stay here, I think I should try to move to a cheaper apt. I'm paying tons of money out in babysitter fees, etc. Some months, I'm having trouble paying my bills, been able to do so so far, but really worry about it longterm esp without child support pmts.



My son really wants to move closer to family and is begging to move back this summer. He has sensory processing disorder and is currently in a special ed class mainstreaming into a regular ed class and doing well with that. I just worry about moving him to a new school and having issues.



I don't know how much family could help me, but I worry being alone here and if dad relapses again, I have no one. It can be very stressful.



Has anyone been through something like this?

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3 Comments

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Sofia - posted on 02/21/2012

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There are a few things to consider, although it sounds like you have thought about them already.

A) how does your son feel about the move? You said he wants to go.

B) How do you feel about the move? You think it cant be any worse than where you are now.

C) financially, can you support yourself and your child if you move? Again, it sounds like moving cant be any worse than where you are now.

It sounds to me like you want to move, but are afraid of the unknown, like anyone else would be, and that's why you are having trouble taking that big jump.

Amy - posted on 02/20/2012

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I would consult an attorney, it doesn't matter if he's paying support or not but depending on the state where you live it may be illegal to move out of state without the other parent granting you permission to do so.

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