Should my 5yr old repeat kindergarten

Debbie - posted on 01/31/2011 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Hello

I need some guidance my youngest just turned 5 on Jan 18 he's currently in kindergarten at a specialized school to help him with his speech. They are kind of preparing him for Grade 1 but I don't know if he's ready for grade 1 should I put him in kindergarten in regular school next year?

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Renee - posted on 02/07/2011

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My son turned 5 in late August & is in Kinder this year. He has also attended headstart for 1 year. My husband & I have decided to have him repeat kinder next year. Even though he is socially ready & academically he is doing well. We just think in the long run this is what will be best for him. Right now he is one of the smallest in his class. While he is learning to write letters & some words. Some students can write sentences. We thought also about the teenage years. Do we want him to be the last to drive or date? His maturity level is just not going to be all there when he graduates. Will he be ready for college? Will he always be the smallest while playing sports? We figured we might as well get it over with now. While he is young & will adapt. As opposed to him maybe having to repeat say 5 grade later if he were to fall behind or have issues.

I wish the best in what ever you choose to do. Good Luck!

Jill - posted on 02/10/2011

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I would absolutely have him repeat kindergarten. My second grade daughter repeated kindergarten and I actually got a lot of you know what about it. Even the school principal didn't want me to do it. In our case, she really struggled with reading, letter recognition and phonics. I knew that if we pushed her through, she would wind up hating school and really struggling so early in life. Better to repeat in kindergarten than as they get older and really "know" what is going on socially with the situation. My daughters friends all advanced to first grade and when they asked her why she was still in Mr. Quigley's class, she simply said with a smile "My mom told me that Mr. Quigley liked having me in class so much that he asked me to come back and help him for a second year!" All the other kids thought this was way cool and never bothered to ask her again.
The school was the only one to have an issue. I was "told" that my child was the first child in the history of this particular elementary to ever repeat kindergarten as if it was a bad stigma or something. They also wanted to move her into another community so that she would not be embarrassed. I refused, telling them that she wasn't embarrassed at all nor should she be and moving her away from her friends would only be punishing her for something beyond her control. I was later told by a teacher that many teachers recommend that certain children might benefit from repeating but the parents usually object to the idea and insist on pushing their child through because they have issues with the embarrassment they may feel by telling friends and family that their child is repeating.
Do what you feel is best for your child. You will instinctively know. My daughter had a late July birthday and was also a little immature for her age. This was a factor in my decision as well.
Good luck in whatever decision you make. BTW my daughter is now an A and B student in second grade!

Amanda - posted on 02/10/2011

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I would like to make sure you know you are not alone! I went through this with my now 9 year old when he was in kindergarten! His birthday is in August, and let me tell you it was the best thing we EVER did! He is now in 3rd grade and is doing GREAT! You are the parent, go with your gut feeling because it will be harder as he gets older. . . holding him back now won't be as hard, and the kids barely notice. . we did have to explain to our son that he was a very smart child and that it was our decision for him to stay back another year and get better before he moved on though. Best of luck to you!

Jessica - posted on 02/09/2011

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My little guy turned 5 on the same day and is in Pre-K, I am surprised yours in already in Kindergarten, here they have to be 5 before the first day of Kindergarten. If your gut says to keep him back, I totally would. At this age repeating a grade would not hurt and if you change his school he would likely still be learning new things. Talk to his teachers and get their opinions but ultimately I would likely go with my gut instinct.

DAWN - posted on 02/07/2011

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Personally, I think this is a no brainer. He is TOO young for first grade. I don't know where you live, but, I'm in metro Atlanta and there is a lot expected of kindergarteners and first graders. Most boys are not ready for the pressure. I have never met a mom who regretted starting kindergarten late but have known many who regretted pushing their children ahead when they felt like waiting might be the better way to go. Our society pushes kids to go to school earlier and earlier. (for example, most of us learned to read in 1st grade. Now they are starting in pre-k). Little boys need to explore and find their own way before they have the maturity to handle school. He should be very prepared for Kindergarten because of the great Pre-K he has been involved in. He will thrive and be at the head of his class if you put him in Kindergarten. This will be a much better boost to his confidence than being a grade ahead. Confidence is the most important thing you can give your child. Good luck!

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Kelly - posted on 04/06/2012

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Every state has different requirements; here in Michigan, 4 year olds have the option of Preschool and if you are 5 before December, Kindergarten. However, Kindergarten is not mandatory in Michigan and children are not required to start school until first grade. You have to do what you think best, keeping in mind maturity level and sometimes boys tend to start out a bit more slowly. You have to do what you feel is best.

Jennifer - posted on 02/17/2011

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My daughters birthday is July 21. Just one week later and she would have missed the deadline. She is the youngest kid in her class. I've had the same concern for the last couple of years, but the teachers have said it's her age and she will grow out of it.
I wish I had fought harder when she was in 1st grade. I have a better teacher this year and i think I'll have no problems getting her held back.
You know your child best. If you feel like he isn't ready- he probably isn't. You can have him tested through the school. They have programs to help if you need it. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and insist on it.

Patrice - posted on 02/15/2011

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Do you know if the curriculum is the same at his school as the school he will be attending? and, Will he be going to first grade in the special school or public? If it is public I would say to have him repeat, he is young to be in first grade and with a delay it would be best for him to catch up. Is he reading, writing? If not then he should repeat.

Stacy - posted on 02/09/2011

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If he's mentally not ready to move on there's nothing wrong w/ keeping him back.

Karen - posted on 02/09/2011

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My daughter's birthday is in Jan. The year she turned 5 she started K in Sept. My son just turned 5 in Dec. He will start K in Sept. There was no way either of them were ready for 1st grade at 5 years old. My daughter did fine in K. She's in 1st now and way above where she should be.

Lisa - posted on 02/09/2011

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Better to have him repeat kindergarten now and be fully and adequately prepared for first grade than have to be held back later on. At this age, kids don't realize the stigma of being held back like they do when they're older.

Venessa - posted on 02/08/2011

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It is ultimalty your decision. Being a kindergarten/pre-school teacher. I would certainly consider having him repeat KG. He is very young and if he is having some difficulties, now is the best time to have him get extra help. At this age they are more than excited to get one on one attention from a teacher, rather than getting it in a higher grade. There is nothing wrong with giving him every chance in the world. I have heard many of parents say that they really wish/regret not holding their child back in KG. I can't remember any parents saying they wish that they hadn't held their child back. Good Luck with what ever you decide!

Stephanie - posted on 02/08/2011

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How is he doing on K? If he is understanding the curriculum and is ready for 1st then he should go. If he is not understanding or behind it would probably be benifical for him to repeat. I am a teacher and have taught 1 st and K. There is a big jump in the curriculum. Talk with his teacher she can help you make the best decision for your child. Hope this helps you. Good luck.

Maribel - posted on 02/04/2011

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If you have a gut feeling I would go for it. I had a friend that did the same thing to her son she felt he should stay back but the school wanted to pass him on to the 1st grade but she felt he wasn't ready and it ended up being the best thing for him. Every child of course is different but usually if you have a strong feeling about something you should go with it. We seem to have something in common with our children they were born on the same day and when she was in K5 she turned 6 that January and all the kids in her class seem to be in the same boat. She just turned 9 and is in the 3rd grade. Good luck with your decision I am sure you will make the choice that is a fit for your son.

Sally - posted on 02/04/2011

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My husband and I have kept our 6 yr old now but lat yr was just 5 and her birthday is Oct.9. She was the youngest in her class. We had her do kindergared over not so much because of not know school stuff but more emotionally, and socially as she gets older. I would rather have them repeat kindergarden than say 3 grade or something its alot more trumatic then.. We are very happy with this decision she is more confident in everyway in school.. I would suggest whatever you feel is best is what you should do.

Klara - posted on 02/03/2011

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I guess I would ask the teacher (s) what they recommend. If they feel he's ready, likely he is. Do you have particular concerns that are making you think maybe you should hold him back? Has his speech improved? Have you talked to a kindergarten teacher at another school where you may enroll him to see what they expect them to know after kindergarten, and is he able to do most of those things? I agree it would be better to hold him back now rather than later, if needed, but maybe he'll surprise you, and he's doing better than you think? Good luck, whatever you decide!

Katherine - posted on 02/03/2011

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see if there is programs or things you can do at home during the summer and after school to help him. I had to help my step son with math and reading after school and during summer break. he was back ontrack. some kids just need that extra attention by thier parents or others.

Kristy-lea - posted on 02/02/2011

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my son is having problems with his speech and hearing, he was meant to start school this year but i didnt feel he was ready, i think its the best thing i have ever done, while he is more comfortable in a familiar enviroment (his daycare and home) he is continuing to learn in leaps and bounds, and i didnt want to risk him going back into his bubble and withdrawing from trying to learn completely by being thrown into something completely different =0)

Cindy - posted on 02/02/2011

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I think that it's a good idea to do it now rather than later. Doing it now can save a lot of frustration if he has to struggle and there is less peer pressure from other students that may know he was held back, even if it is for his best interest.

Tracy - posted on 02/02/2011

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Speak to his teacher and let her help to acess the concern. You do not want your son to become frustrated and have negative feelings towards school. And listen to your gut, it is usually correct. It is much easier on him if he repeats KG now than get further along in the grades and need to be held back. He won't know the difference now, so he will not feel he has done something wrong or that he has failed. KG boys come in all sizes and preparedness levels.

Debbie - posted on 02/01/2011

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Thank you all for your wonderful comments, my gut tells me to let him repeat I think it might be the right thing for him.

Shannon - posted on 01/31/2011

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yea he is young enough that he will still be the same age as some of his classmates when he gets older if your going to hold him back do it in K. but ther are still a few months of school left wait and see.

Janice - posted on 01/31/2011

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I would definitely let him repeat kindergarten, especially if he is JUST turning 5. I know in our school district and others we've lived in, he would be old enough for kindergarten but not first grade. If they are 5 by the September deadline, they may start kinder., but if they turn 5 after that, then they may only start pre-k. As a substitute teacher for our district and a mom of a first grader, I think it would benefit him if he did his first year at his regular school in kindergarten. I think your little fellow would be much happier as well. We have all day kindergarten here but pre-k is 1/2 day. God Bless you and your guy in your decision making.

Sherri - posted on 01/31/2011

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If he needs to repeat wait till first grade then reevaluate the situation. In our school kindergarten is only 2 1/2 hrs a day, where 1st grade is all day they will only let you repeat once they get to first grade.

Jennifer - posted on 01/31/2011

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If he just turned 5 in Jan, and he is having any trouble I would let him stay another year in kindergarten. My son had issues with speech as well and having extra time did him a world of good. At the time I also talked to a lot of teachers and they all tried to make sure their kids where 6 before hitting grade one, they say it makes things easier on them.

Luana - posted on 01/31/2011

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That's what i would do. My gut told me to do just that last year with my twins and i didn't do it and i regret it this year. Yours is very young too so tell yourself this,it's better to be a little ahead than very behind. It's never an easy decision so good luck to you . :)

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