shy kids

Heba - posted on 05/24/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My elder girl, almost 6 yrs old is very shy and never fights with her mates to become no. 1 in the line or so. she likes colouring so much and may spend hours in it. is that normal?

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Charlie - posted on 05/27/2009

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IT IS NORMAL EVEN IF WE DON'T LIKE IT. I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY YOUNGEST TWIN DAUGHTER, SHE GOT JUMPED IN CLASS BY 3 KIDS WHEN WE ASKED WHY SHE DIDN'T DEFEND HERSELF OR TELL SHE WAS WORRIED ABOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL. EXPLAIN TO HER THE FIGHT OR FLIGHT METHOD ON HER LEVEL. SHE HAS TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS OK TO NOT LET PEOPLE PUSH HER AROUND AND THAT AS LONG AS SHE DOES THEY WILL CONTINUE

Amanda - posted on 05/26/2009

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It's totally normal for some kids to be shy. It is a personality trait that she will likely take with her throughout her life. My son is somewhat shy too. I encourage my son to be involved in different activities where other children are involved. He has gotten a little more outgoing, but still retains his somewhat reserved personality. I am the same way as him. I was shy as a kid and still am somewhat reserved when it comes to new situations. I too am much better than I used to be. I would attribute that to contiued social interactions. Don't worry it's just who she is!

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My 5 year daughter is so shy too! She is the type that all through preschool she has had one little friend that she makes at the beginning of the year and usually always sticks close to that person. I am a nervous wreck that once she gets older she is going to be a "follower" because she never demonstrates anything that isn't going with the flow. I have been trying to work on things with her steadily trying to prepare her for kindergarten in the fall. I know its a baby step, but the one thing we have started doing that has worked for us is at a restaurant we have her tell the waitress her drink and then often times she will tell what she wants as well. I know its sounds really silly, but that has been a huge step for us. We made a big deal what a good job it was and we can slowly see the confidence building and she is slowly branching out more. I would encourage her to start to do things like ordering on her own, at the movie theatre say the movie she is going to see etc, just to gain some independence and gradually start to become less shy and more comfortable. Its working for us slowing. My daughter is a colorer too. I think they are just more artistic in nature. Does she do well in school where you know that it truly is shyness and not some sort of learning disability or something where she needs more help? If not, I wouldn't stress it and slowly start to have her do things. I know mine will never be comfortable as the center of attention, but my hope is that she will stick up for herself when needed and have the confidence to offer her opinion. Beyond that, I know it probably just isn't her personality and that's ok. Hope that helps.

Heba - posted on 05/25/2009

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Thanks dear, but my girl used to go to school in an earlier stage, she started to go to school on 3 yrs. old, isn't that wiered?

Megan - posted on 05/24/2009

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My now 5 year old son is shy of oter children. I am not sure why. He will go to school this fall. I am hoping that when he goes to school he will come out of his shell. At least a little bit. I think kids just flourish at their own pace. Just keep incouraging her that she is normal and that no to worry so much about it. Let her know that she desn't have to be afraid. I keep tellng my son this. In the past couple of months or so, he ha opened up. But he still needs some encouraging.

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