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sister needs help getting teenage niece inline

Jennifer - posted on 02/14/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

23

12

My sister has done everything poosible that she thinks to help my niece listen. My niece is 14 with avery bad attitude and is very disrespectful, she gets into fights at school tells horrible lies to get attention without thinking of the consequences of the other people. she was a good kid growing up never in any trouble or even thought to cause trouble. she dosen't have a very good realtionship with her dad right now and her grandma passed away a couple of years ago but other than that there hasn't been any changes in her life that we are aware of. What could cause a teenager to have such a change in attitude. we know it's not drugs as she has been tested. any help or suggestions would be greatly apprciated. thanks

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Tifani - posted on 03/10/2010

10

14

Gosh I am probably not the best to give advice on this one but I can tell you my experience. I have a now 20 year old daughter that at about the age of 13-14, after being a absolutely perfect child (as much as one can be anyway) did a 180 degree turn. She started sneaking out at night, lying, running with the wrong crowd, AT-TI-TUDE non stop. I also have two younger children (her sister is 14 now and brother 5) and I can tell you unfortunately we will be doing things SO different with them. I should have clamped down HARD with her. I dont know if you ever watch Dr. Phil but he is a huge one on kids earning priviledges. Like he said, as parents we are required to give a house over their head, clothes for them to wear, food to eat and unconditional love. But other then that they have to earn the extras. Dont know if your neice is as priviledged as mine seem to be (good term for spoiled :) but I should have taken the ipod, the tv, the dvd, the car at 16 etc until she could start showing respect first, and then consideration for the others in our family. My oldest daughter luckily has grown out of it now and has turned into a beautiful young lady. But it took her leaving home at 16 to go live with my ex who had never been a part of her life and finding out the grass was not greener there. She talks to me now a lot and says she wished I had been stricter. Like I said, I am SO not the person to give advice but if I have the same problems with my middle one (which I dont think I will, and not because of anything I have done, just that she is truely God's gift to parents, but the little one is a replica of my oldest.........God help me) I will do as Dr. Phil says and take it away piece by piece, including her personal comforts and make her earn them back one by one with her own actions. Hope this helps. And good luck to your sister. Tell her to grit her teeth and as my mom says........."This too shall pass". :)

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