six year old won't sleep in his own room

Claire - posted on 01/07/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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My six year old has been sleeping in my bed since birth, he refuses to go into his own room as he says he's scared, i've tried everything - lights on; staying with him till he falls asleep etc but he gets up up to 8 times a night and i end up bringing him into my bed. HELP!!

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Michelina - posted on 05/08/2012

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I have four kids and I have never let them sleep in my bed with my husband and I unless there was a serious situation. My husbands family always allowed there kids to sleep with them and my brother in law slept with his mom until he was 14.i never agreed with it, but it wasn't my child ormy place to say anything they judge me for it now, but I love my children more than anyone else could ever. But that's not how I was raised, and not how I do things. My oldest two- six and four have no problem sleeping alone.. Anymore. They used to say they were afraid bu after showers before we sleep my husband and I show them every door and window is locke alarm is on check for monsters, we tuck them in read a story and hugs nd kisses. They both have security taggie blankets that help, and night lights.try an inventive. I give my kids bedtime bucks( paper dollars) if they sleep at bedtime, through the night, and no problems they get a bedtime buck. At the end of the week they can keep they're bed bucks or cash them in for a surprise. My six year old went to sleep on her own no bed bucks until she saw her brother 4 years old, starting to get them. So looks like a couple more years because I have a two year old and a 3 month old. But this does work and it will stop. Stay strong don't give in. Try the bucks.

Donna - posted on 01/11/2010

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I'm having the same problem with my 6 year old daughter. Most nights she sleeps on the floor in my room and on other nights she climbs into bed with me. If I move her or don't let her climb in bed with me she screams and cries and wakes up the whole house. So there has been nights when I just go out to the couch to sleep since there is not enough room for 3 in my bed. I have tried everything. I sadly admit I have resorted to bribing her. Last night she slept in her room all night for the first time in a very long time and it only cost me a dollar. lol

Jennifer - posted on 01/08/2010

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put your foot down mom. it will take time, and a lot of work. put him in his own bed.

Rebecca - posted on 01/18/2010

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Hi Clarie, I do have an article in the current edition of Wellbeing Magazine about Yoga and children going to sleep "Bedtime Bliss". It may give you some ideas. I am a specialist childrens & teen yoga teacher and trainer, life coach and health and wellbeing writer.

Rebecca - posted on 01/18/2010

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Hi Clarie, our daughter still sleeps with us , she is four. I have been told to enjoy it while it lasts. Others have told me a time comes when they decide they want to sleep in their own bed! You sound like me "when'? Now I except it and love it, but she does have sleep overs at her Nan's! Love and Light Rebecca from Yoga Mums (Aussie Yoga).

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Elaine - posted on 05/07/2012

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Hi, I've read all your advice. I have twins that are very stubborn. Starting tonight, they are going to sleep in their own room. Their older sister will stay with them for a few nights to see what happens. Also, leaving their TV on might help. It will be costly, but last resort I'm gonna bribe them.

Bobbijo - posted on 01/16/2010

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I would suggest taking play time away the next day !!! I have a six year old and it worked for me!!!! Although she has kinda always sleep in her own bed i have a problem with her waking up during the night !!! Def dont let him watch Tv !!!!! I know it sucks !! No sleep and no privacy !!! Try taking play time awy or since he is young a little bit off of his play time!!! Hope it gets better for ya !!!!

Teri - posted on 01/12/2010

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You can also try using a sound machine or leaving music on while they are falling asleep.

[deleted account]

you have to stop giving in and bringing him into you bed. I know you get frustrated and end up giving in, but he knows that if he fights enough he wins. (so who is the parent here?) Even if it takes 15 times to take him back into his bed..do it. No conversation..just gently lead him back in..even if he screams or has to be dragged back in..do it! after a few nights it should get less and less. I saw this on "supernanny" and although it was exhausting for the parent(s) then stuck to it and now they all can finally get their rest! Good luck!
ps..I did this with my daughter as sometimes I'd find her in the hallway sleeping..as she was scared of her bed....led her back in and in and in and in...etc...in 2 weeks she never got back up!

Diana - posted on 01/10/2010

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i have a little boy who just turn 5 which i have the same problem, he won't stay in his bed, he just don't want to sleep alone, when i ask him why he does'nt sleep in his own bed he'll say it's scary so i leave his bedsite light on and still he hop in our bed in the middle of the night, i have tried that take him back to his own bed for almost 2wks but nothing happens afther awhile you get so tired and just let him sleep in the middle.
so Claire i feel for you, good luck to you

Shanna - posted on 01/10/2010

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It is a battle but if you want or need your space back you will have to endure! My daughter who is soon to be five had the same problem of not wanting to sleep alone. However, when I found out she slept alone at grandmas without a problem it became my mission to take back my bed. It took a lot of persistence and continual redirection but she finally sleeps alone in her room! Stand firm moms take back your bed!!!

Morgan - posted on 01/10/2010

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basically u jsut cant give in, if he comes into your room, take his hand and take him back to bed, just do it over and over again and after maybe 2 or 3 nights hell just stop coming over to your room.

Tatiana - posted on 01/10/2010

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I know thw feeling, my 5yr old comes to my bed every night, at the begining I used to send him back to his room, but I got tired. Hopefully he'll stop soon...

Lisa - posted on 01/10/2010

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im having the same problem with my daugher shes nearly six ive tried everything then when i eventually get her in her own bed if i go out on a weekend ill come home to find her in bed next to daddy but now im pregnant again so i think im going to really have to put my foot down but i need dad to do that to

Diane - posted on 01/10/2010

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im having the same problem my son is nearly 5 he has slept in my bed from an early age never liked being in his own cot even when it was beside our bed.when we moved his cot in to his own room we would haeve to take turns to sit with him till he went to sleep.when he was about 1 1/2 we put him into his own bed but still no joy i tried nanny joes advice putting them back everytime but he would squeal like mad u would think he was being beaten i tried 4 almost 4 days but i was afraid of wot the neighbour would think.we r redecorating the bedrooms so im going to try again wish me luck

Carrie - posted on 01/09/2010

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I have a child that also loved sleeping in our room, he still gets to sleep in our room one night a week, the night I have to work late, it was great having this closeness with our son, he is confident, self soothing, and compassionate to others, we fixed his room up the way he liked it and I let him sleep with his door open at night. He is now eight and has lots of friends spend the night, try fixing your childs room up to be fun and enjoyable to play in.

Marisa - posted on 01/09/2010

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I had that problem with my youngest who is now 10. When his dad and I split, it was hard for him to sleep in his own bed for a number of reasons but eventually, he overcame that and once he realized he liked his bed (with the invitation to come to mine if he was really scared) he didn't return. Only now he will come just for the fun of having a sleepover in my room. Marisa

Judith - posted on 01/08/2010

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my son will soon be 6 and i have the same problem with him, no matter what i do he is in my bed

[deleted account]

I had the same problem with both of my kids. I would let them fall asleep in my bed and then move them to there bed. That worked out well becuase they are getting use to not feeling you beside them when they sleep. You have to remember they are afraid of being by themselves and they are use to comfort that you give them. You have to break it them gentlely. Just remember every child is different and every method works differently on every child.

Julie - posted on 01/07/2010

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my oldest child did the same thing.. she is 6 now also.. and when she was a baby i would let her sleep with me cuz i was so scared somethig would happen.. first time mom..hehe.. but then as she got older she would not sleep in her room.. so one day i was watching nanny joe on that tv show and thoes parents had the same problem.. she said that everytime the get up and come in your bed to take them back to their bed and after a couple of days they get the idea.. it took my child almost a week till she stayed in her own bed.. but she and it worked..

Shandee - posted on 01/07/2010

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DO NOT GIVE IN! My son was the same way. He is 5 now and sleeps soundly through the night in his own bed. I put his toddler bed next to mine for a week and kept moving it away from the bed until it was out of my room. Then I let him pick out his own big boy bed and let him put it where ever he wanted in his own room. I made it exciting and fun for him to have his own space and room. Your son sleeps with you still because you allow him to. DO NOT GIVE UP. He will if he sees that you aren't any more.

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