Teacher accused ADD........

Amanda - posted on 08/02/2010 ( 70 moms have responded )

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My sons teacher insisted that he had ADD, So I went through the schools program and got the prescriptions for him. (the lady who recommended he receive treatment also said my 3 year old whom she had never met should be medicated)
After the first prescription ran out I had problems getting a refill. During this time My son had a good day every day and his grades went up to straight A's. This lasted for all of a month when the teacher found out he was no longer receiving medication, His grades instantly started dropping and I started getting bad notes every day. This notes actually said things like " wiggling in his chair, Playing with his shoe string.. and etc." Never once was their any real class disturbances. I started watching his homework and sending back papers where she had marked correct answers wrong. and his grades maintained A and B's even with her being nit picky. I was called a bad parent for not medicating him and his teacher threatened to suspend him if he did not behave better in class. That came to an abrupt stop when I called her out about the stupid reasons for sending notes home. I told her if he was really bad I would be there in a matter of minutes, but for wiggling in his chair!! Tell me one 6 year old who does not wiggle in his chair!! After a full semester of back and forth, I finally lied to the teacher and told her he was back on medicine and all of his problems magically disappeared.
My question is this. What do I do this year? school starts in 2 weeks and I want him to receive the best education possible, but I do not want to fight or lie to his teacher all year again, I know all the teachers inside the school talk. I do not think he needs medicine. He received good grades, reads at a level 20 and does not disturb the class. Even if he is a little distracted, I don't feel that he needs medication. He is not falling behind. Anyone have any suggestions or personal experiences?

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Jill - posted on 02/04/2013

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So I posted before about my son who's teacher was sending home nit picky notes and i WAS debating on lying to her and just telling them that i had the evaluation and not doing it. BUT to my surprise, after a very painful period of waiting and doing nothing, i get a phone call. A VERY pleasant phone call from my sons teacher telling us that she was sorry to admit that she was probably just not reminding my son to stay on task and that he has been doing WONDERFUL paying attention and doing his work this last three weeks. I was so happy to hear that the situation just needed some time to work itself out. She even sent him a post card telling him how proud she was of him for doing such a great job. Isn't it funny how he can go from needing an evaluation to just doing fabulous. MOM'S go with your gut you know your child better than ANYONE. It's YOUR choice and I wouldn't let them push you around don't be afraid to say that may the teacher needs to try a different approach because most of the time the teachers need more patience or the child just learns differently. :)

Tasha - posted on 10/27/2012

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I would not have medicated my son base on one evaluation because that may not even be the proper diagnosis. The school is quick to label active children with ADD/ADHD when sometimes it is just part of development. If your son was doing well without the medication then how can you be sure he was diagnosed correctly. I would definitely get another opinion for another trained professional outside of the school. I have a 5 yr old that is very smart and yet active however he is NOT add/adhd just a typical 5yr old boy. I am floored that she would recommend your 3 yr old be medicated without even meeting her. Who medicates a 3yr old? That should have been a red flag right there. Please have your son tested again.

Ami - posted on 10/19/2012

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If you don't feel that he needs it, then def do not give it. I am ADHD and have been diagnosed since I was a child and since becoming an adult. That med is def not something you want to give a child that doesn't need it.



From the sounds of it, he's just a regular, spirited little boy. He teacher sounds like she has a problem. Don't let her grumpiness doubt what you know is true about your son. He reads higher, he doesn't disturb anymore than any of the other kids, he's just 6.



I would go higher than that teacher. That's silly. All kids that age wiggle around and squirm. They have ENERGY!!! Wish I did lol! Distraction is not at all the only characteristic of being ADHD. Not by a long shot :)



Plus, those school programs are not great ones to use for a diagnosis. You need to use an outside doctor. I really think, based off of your other posts, that it is just his teacher being a crab.



But SERIOUSLY if your child were adhd, you would probably know by now. LOL I know this quite well from myself as a child and from my son. He's def adhd but I wont medicate him because he doesn't need it. They are children, let them be kids. If whenever high school comes around and they absolutely cannot focus on classwork, then maybe consider it. ADHD in itself can actually be managed without meds. I have gone years without taking any. Over time, a person develops methods to manage it. Especially if they know they are.



Follow your gut.

Claudia - posted on 12/29/2011

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My now 6 year old started having issues at school. "Catholic school" that is...Funny thing was that all this was going on and the teacher never had the time to let me know when it started. The Aid told me something was wrong with my son, and that maybe I should get him looked at by the doctor for ADD??? Now that just upset me and I took it very personal. I spoke to the nun who was very apologetic, and told me she would get him evaluated by the school psych....to make a long story short, she had 36 children w/ 1 aid. she had no control over the kids, and had very high expectations of them. I immediatedly puled him out of private school and placed him in public school. had him evaluated and he is now thriving in public school.
when I informed the nun my kid would not be going back, she told me, "why" he is such a smart kid" and I said according to your staff there is something wrong with him.
The $450 month tutition was a penny less for her, and now he was a smart boy! do a little research when it comes to placing your kids in school, have a lot of communication with the teachers, some just assume things...

Nicole - posted on 09/08/2011

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If this is not illegal where you are, it should be. I have NEVER heard such a load of you know what in my life, this teacher needs to be fired. No if's &'s or but's. I don't even know where to begin, I'm sure you've already looked into trying to get him into a different school. Perhaps you can send a note from the Doctor explaining that he is *not* and has *not* diagnosed your son with ADHD or ADD? After all, six years old is quite young to come to that conclusion for a child that does little more than "wiggle in their chair," now and then. The school insisting he be medicated is wrong. Exacting revenge on him because he isn't? That is A TRAVESTY. I would bring this to the board. I would get a lawyer. Because if you sued, assuming that you saved proof of what was going on, I'm pretty damn sure you would win.

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Tiffany - posted on 05/03/2013

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I think this is a horrible thing to do and I am outraged! How could any teacher, paid to look after children, do somethin like that? You should keep on telling them he is on medicene, i think it's terrible! Move him from that school!

Chaya - posted on 02/09/2013

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Pitch a fit to the principal and school board. Each time I did this, I was treated fairly, not to say I agreed with the solution.

Mary Jane - posted on 02/05/2013

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Is the teacher a trained psychologist or clinical counselor? or a psychiatrist? As far as I know, the only professionals that diagnose are trained in the field and need to go through serious training before practicing mental health. Mind you, it's not a respected field for those individuals that go ignorantly diagnosing when it's not in their job scope. How sad. I would definitely save all your child's homework and bring it to her superior with other concerns you may have. Documentation is viral these days. You may want to get real professional opinion on your concerns just so that you have piece of mind. It's crazy that we would have to lie, because we can't afford to not have our children properly, safely and securely educated. You are doing good work! Keep it up!

Ruth - posted on 02/05/2013

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Unfortuneately teachers are human and humans make errors. Teachers deal with many more children that we could ever possibly imagine. They may mistake one childs problems for another. We are the only ones who know our children better than anyone, because we deal with them on an individual basis. If he has the same teacher, lie and say he's on the medication. If he has a new teacher, start with a clean slate and play it by ear. You know what you had to go through with the last teacher, so you know what to look for. Luckily we only have to deal with a specific teacher for one year.

Bobbi Jean - posted on 02/04/2013

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Lisa:

I agree with you completely. Teachers have no business diagnosing anything. It happened to both my children, when they were in school, and it drove me crazy.

Sometimes, though, there may be pressure on the teacher to give some feedback. I hope these suggestions, that I use in my classroom will help. Although, it is a little bit more work for both me and the parent, it keeps the lines of communication clear, helps us both do a better job for the child, and defuses any problems immediately.

Whenever I come across a situation in my classroom which causes me concern, I use a checklist or write down my observations and concerns. I limit my wording to"this is what was: said, what happened, what I observed. I leave any judgemental comments out of it.

Then, I contact the parents by e-mail, letter, or phone and ask them to schedule a conference so that we can discuss it. (I make the suggestion that the parents bring a pad of paper with their questions written down. I also suggest that they leave about five - ten lines between the lines so that they can write my answers, or have me write the answers under the questions. -- I did this for my children also--used one color ink for questions, one color for answers teacher and I dated and signed it.)--There is no diagnosing--just observations which can be communicated to the doctor or other professional. I also let parents know that they could have a member of administration attend the meeting or a parent advocate, if they felt they needed someone who was up on the law and regs.

Also, keep everything--notes from telephone calls, e-mails, letters, etc. It saves misunderstandings--and keeps everyone on the same sheet of music.

I hope this helps.

Lisa - posted on 02/04/2013

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ugh! This is so frustrating. First of all, teachers should not diagnose, they can refer you to someone who can diagnose if they have a suspicion. Secondly, be a skeptic but be open to what they have to say. Third, request that he be give a full psychoeducational evaluation prior to any suggestion of medical treatment. This should be provided by the district. Be sure to include your observations on the paperwork when you say that the teachers didn't mention anything until they found out the medicine wasn't being given anymore.

From what your saying it seems that you don't want to medicate unless you have to, and this is completely understandable. UGH for them telling you to medicate your three year old. I don't know the entire situation. Sometimes, there are behavioral therapies that can be addressed within school or outside school that will help. Do you have other schooling options? Sometimes, that school system may not be the best fit for your family.

I hope that you are finding solutions!

Shirley - posted on 01/29/2013

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Don't give him the meds....When my son (who is now 19) was in 3rd or 4th gr they said the same thing, he has ADD, so I took him to their school childrens nurologist and after 1 hr. the Dr said, yes he has ADD, and so do you! Well, we got the meds for him, He took them and he was quiet untill about noonish, then they said they wanted him medicated more....I said NO, but I tried a little more and he would try and get combative with me, so I droped him back down to the 1 dose. then when summer came I took him off of it, and he was FINE...
I tell you there are teachers, that will pick out 1 kids whos just a little different and thats the bad seed in their eyes and they won't lay off.
If you can get him in a different class or even a different school that might be your best choice.
Oh and when my son was little I was on our countys meeting board for children with dissabilitys, we went to a luncheon one day and a Dr was speaking and talking about Riddalin ADD, ADHD, etc, and after he talked we could ask questions, I raised my hand and asked this question, Since this medicine is so new, the kids take this stuff and when they get older and then get 18, 19, 20, 21 and on their on, and stop taking it....THEN WHAT??? How will the be? How will they know how to react, and he told me....WE DON'T KNOW YET, BECAUSE ITS SO NEW.......(but yet parents were told their little darlings needed to be medicated) I guess it makes their job easier... BULL!!!!! Anyways, hopes this helps alittle...

Bobbi Jean - posted on 01/25/2013

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I notice that you posted a few years ago. How are you and your son doing now? I hope everything is ok.

I had this problem with my son's teachers. My doctor finally told me to tell the teachers that all the doctor's perscriptions and instructions were being followed to the letter. (Doctor perscribed the Fiengold diet--and stopped the meds in 4th grade.) When the teachers wanted to know the details about the perscriptions--I told them that this would constitute a breech of my son's medical confidentiality. Since there were no behavior problems--they didn't need to know.

Meds wouldn't help him with his reading problem, which turned out to be dyslexia. But that is another story.

Jacqueline - posted on 01/18/2013

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Put him in another school. My child takes medicine and she needs it. Without it i would get calls and notes everyday. Change his school and challenge what's in his folder. Some things follow him from school to school grade to grade. At the end of the school yr tell the principal you want to see his folder and challenge everything in it and tell them why. People do out all the time. It ensures they get into a good college. Prayers are with you, have blessed.

Nicole - posted on 01/17/2013

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Jill, I'm really, seriously, not trying to attack you when I say this: Do NOT lie to a teacher, saying that you've had a child evaluated if you haven't. Here's why: if they find out that you haven't had them evaluated, (and they probably will,) they *could* use that against you, in a multitude of different ways that will really mess your life up. Obviously, it's up to you and your husband if you have your son evaluated. Your son is who he is, and if you, your husband, as his parents feel that there is nothing wrong with him, by all means!, it's up to you as his folks to make that decision and his teachers cannot do anything about it. There is NOTHING wrong with your parenting, you are not a bad parent, it saddens me when I hear moms talk like this, you are not alone there are a lot of moms going through the same exact thing, feeling the same way as you. Teachers are dealing with upwards of thrity kids per class, sometimes more... this is something no one should have to deal with and because of this, because of pressure from the administration they are singling out kids, sometimes completely unfairly that give them a "rough" time. He's eight. If he isn't having issues with his peers, if he is happy and moderately well-adjusted, then you are doing your job right. Tell his teacher your husband and yourself have decided to not have him evaluated because of his age, if she pushes I would ask for an IEP meeting to discuss it with the entire diagnostic staff at his school.

Jill - posted on 01/17/2013

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Good Lord! I have felt soo sad and like I was a bad mother. My son is 8 and I get the same nit picky notes home all the time she just recently told me that he definately has a focusing problem and should be evaluated. My husband disagreed and I'm glad I saw his way. Thanks for the advice I will probably lie to his teacher as well the next time she calls *eyeroll* it's been a whole 2 days since i've heard anything. Sometimes I wonder if the teachers need the meds instead. I wouldn't expect kids that age to NOT do silly things. I also find it funny how his teachers pre-school- 1st grade have had no problem with him till now.

Rachel - posted on 12/24/2012

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Why do you say she "accused" him of having ADD? It's a teacher's job to be on the lookout for that sort of thing and to approach the parents if they suspect a child might be dealing with a disorder. I agree with you that your child doesn't need to be medicated at this point, though.

Stephanie - posted on 10/21/2012

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Terri La Duex- I am not defending your child's teacher or school. However, as a teacher, it is very important that we know if a child has ADHD or something else that a student may struggle with in the classroom so that we can provide the for the child's needs in the most appropriate way. If a teacher knows in advance that a student has a condition, that teacher can understand why astudent behaves in a certain manner and adjust how she/he interacts or teaches that child. It is called good teaching. Also, most teachers do not look for someone to be the "black sheep."



Amanda- Definitley check with your child's pdiatrician. If your child has ADHD, medication is not a solve all. There are many other things that can help children with ADHD such as diet change and frequent reminders. My son has severe ADD and is not medicated. He teachers (with his help) have come up with a plan of action to help him focus and stay on track.



Please remember that the majority of teachers want the best for their students and work extremely hard to help all of their students. Just because you get one "bad" teacher doesn't mean that all teachers are bad.

Nicole - posted on 10/16/2012

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Susan, thank-you so much for listing Focus's contact information, it looks like a really handy resource for parents! I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but brain scans done of children with ADD and ADHD shows some significant differences between kids with Attention Deficit Disorder & kids who don't have it. Sure it's not the end all, be all scientific proof you're looking for, but there definitely is something there, it's not entirely teachers who want their kids medicated. My daughter's experience since taking medication, while not an easy road to travel has opened us up, so much in her behavior and attitude. Kids and adults who have ADD or ADHD don't process Ritalin the same way as people who don't, so know, it's not like giving your child cocaine. I don't know who started the business of saying it was cocaine for kids, (it's been around for years, the correlation,) but that's absolutely ridiculous, Ritalin might not be the perfect drug for all kids & adults who have ADD / ADHD, but it's better than going untreated, in most cases.

Susan - posted on 10/16/2012

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ADD?ADHD? It seems like every other child is being diagnosed and then medicated with some very bad drugs today. Teachers must have all taken Psychology 101 and think they are experts in this. Is there a medical test that will tell you in absolutes? No, it is all a subjective evaluation; one doctor may say yes where five doctors may say no. The real experts on this, I have found, is Focus Adolescent Services. They save children, sadly by the millions. Go to their web site, call them, and by all means support their good work saving American children.

Mary - posted on 09/29/2012

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I took my child to see a doctor after commenting to your post. The doctor said that he is not ADD/ADHD. To my disappointment, I never had the chance to tell his teacher because school ended and then we moved to a different school district. At this new school, I emailed his new teacher and let her know that he was tested and not ADD/ADHD and asked if we could work to make his education a positive experience. I wasn't sure if that was a good idea or not but I felt I had to let his new teacher know the issues/concerns instead of letting my child go into class misunderstood.

Schools are always educating students about not bullying each other but I think they need to have classes for teachers too. When other students see a teacher singling out one child they will start singling out that child too. I have always respected teachers but the situation with my son's last teacher has shown me a different and negative side of teaching. It has made me nervous that we put our children into these people's hands and they are a part of the community that shape our children into what they will become. I don't need my child's confidence and self respect to be beaten down by someone they thought they could trust. That is a form of psychological and emotional abuse.

Also, teachers need to be educated on ADD and other disorders too. They need to know how to work with ADD instead of sending home complaints and lists of how a child couldn't stop wiggling in their chair.

Dafne - posted on 07/04/2012

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That's the problem with adults today who doesn't have patience. Its a matter of disciplining the kids. Kids are kids...they run and get restless. Medicating kids with ritalin is not an answer. That's illegal for them to force you to get medical help. Ritalin has same effect people on coccaine.
Teacher should know better they are taught in school (PSYCHOLOGY) the stages of development of human. They are taught at certain ages what are their attention span and their learning abilities. You don't have to lie and if they insist, bring this matter to the ATTY GENERAL's OFFICE, the school is stepping your right as a parent and if they deny you to have your kid education in that school they are in big trouble.
Best thing for you as well try to check on you kid diet and maybe you could start setting up pattern of activities and determine your kid interest. We should all know as well DISCIPLINE starts in our own HOME. If we want our kids to go straight we have to work harder, so our kids would be in line with the norm of society.

Mary - posted on 06/05/2012

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My child's teacher is doing the same thing too. I'm currently getting him evaluated but so far, the doctor says he's pretty normal. I'm glad school's almost over but this experience has left me frustrated and worried what next semester will be like. I feel like it's my fault for what the teacher says is my child's problem (being antsy, saying um before answering a question, not knowing math even though he is proficient when tested, tilting his head back when she's talking, there is a whole list she would go through). I know that teachers talk about "problem children" and I'm sure if one is labeled other teachers are definitely going to be keeping an eye out for things that don't seem right.
If you don't mind my asking, how did it turn out? Did you ever take him to see a Dr. outside of the school?

Jordan - posted on 05/30/2012

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stand up for your child! do not rely on the school to pre-determine or diagnose your child...take him to your peidatrician, get a referral to have him properly evaluated by developmental specialist, and insist that he receives the education he is lawfully entitled to!!!!! UGHHHHH these lazy ignorant teachers have got to understand their place...they are teachers! not doctors!!!

Mary - posted on 01/24/2012

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My advice would be to take him to a doctor that specializes with ADD children. A teacher is not certified to diagnose any child with a medical condition, only to recommend that the child see a doctor. If your son does not have ADD, then you will have written proof from a medical doctor and the school will have to abide by that. Your son may have ADD, but it really does sound to me like he's a typical 3 yr old. My nephew was diagnosed with ADHD when he was about 3-4. They gave him ritilen that was so strong he looked like he was strung out most of the time. Of course that fit perfectly with his stepdad who wanted him to sit down and shut up. Boy sometimes will really just be boys, but to be sure, and to ease the school's concern, go and see a doctor.

Connie - posted on 12/29/2011

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When ADD children meet NON-PATIENT/PICKY TEACHER, it will be a war! They are our children's biggest enermy.

I really hope that one day, we have our association or we have our own school but not special school, only more understand of Attention Problem.

You know, ADD kids always put much more effort than anyone without attention problem! They are usually good person not picky and understand people, and it is what we are always looking for at our community. ADD people are more creative, more patient than the others, they are not success because not much people try to understand them, even take away all of their opportunities!

Connie - posted on 12/26/2011

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Sorry to hear that your child has the same problem as mine. I m from Hong Kong, my son touches boarder line of ADD and I moved him to a super bad international school the so-called Christain School in Hong Kong. They accepted my child when they finished interview but started sending me some complaining notes for how disorganise my son is and not following instruction etc...every day! The teacher keep complaining every day and she never notice that it will cause him lost of his confident. I eventually leave the the school (I just stay there for 40 days) and ran to another private school. But they never concern us, we have been given up my son's elite school before going to them!



When they complained my son having ADD, I went to see the Clinical Psychology, I paid 30,000 HKD to check out what happen to my boy, they told me that he doesn't big problem, but IQ is not high, just 85 because his working memory, it is quite popular to the children with ADD or ADHD.



I found kids have ADD seems comes together with some other learning difficulties or social problem, lack of confident as they do not pay attention while someone teaching them. Does you doctor tell you when it will be better if they don't take medicine, I really don't want to give medicine because some of my friends' children growth quite slow and even not work for improve their attention!

Katie - posted on 09/15/2011

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First the same thing happemd to me when i was in high school my teachers forced me on ADD medicine and when i refused to have it refilled because it cauuse me to lose 10 lbs; they fold a reason to as me not come back next year. Some people just want to be right no matter what. Your best bet is to if you have any proff go to the board and explain what happend. Take the homework that she marked wrong and show thenm that in fact that the answer is correct. In addition have your son tested and it the test comes back negitive for ADD take that to the bord as well. what ever you do dont back down you shoouldnt be bullied into lieing.

Rachel - posted on 09/09/2011

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He'll have a new teacher, who will be different. Don't worry until the new teacher starts up. I suggest stay off the meds if he doesn't need them.

Victoria - posted on 07/13/2011

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That is terrible what the teacher is doing it should be your choice if you want to medicate him or not medicate him and the teacher should not have a say in this if you find your child better of the medication then personally i would keep him off it whether the teacher likes that or not and if you continue to have problems have you thought about changing schools possibly? hope you find this helpful dont let anyone bully you into doing anything you dont want to good luck and take care

Teresa - posted on 07/09/2011

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That sounds pretty amazing since most teachers don't have enough time to nit pick. If it happens this year I would consider sending him to school with his meds. I don't think two different teachers woud be so nit picky since they really don't have the time.

Yalana - posted on 07/09/2011

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My only problem with my son's schools were that the principal/assistant principal were right there when these teachers would "diagnose" him...I still like what his pediatrician said after he finished laughing..."Tell them when they get their medical license to call me".

Yalana - posted on 07/09/2011

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I don't know about your state, but if you live in Ohio, that is illegal as all get out!!!!! Call your state BOE and report them immediately if this the same in your state. To force you to medicate him is wrong! Keep his papers, esp. the ones that she marked as wrong and they weren't, and document everything that has been said. Show them to your local BOE and the state, too. This teacher may get in big trouble for that, esp. if she intentionally "graded" his papers that way. Unless he has been extremely disruptive, such as sudden and loud outbursts, violence, or defiance, she can't "insist" on anything! She is one of those teachers who should not even HAVE children, let alone teach them! My son has been through the same ringer, except I have yet to have someone tell me they will kick him out if he is not medicated. This poor excuse of a human sounds like SHE'S the one who needs medicated.

Dionne - posted on 04/25/2011

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The posts I have looked at are pretty much the same. We are all in agreement the teacher did not approach this correctly. Definately keep track of conversations and evidence like you already said you found. Make copies if you have to. I don't understand how you were able to get meds the first time w/o going through the doctors office. In MN or SD you need to go through channels and testings and meetings before any medicine is given out. WOW. The districts have or maybe it is the states should have advocates. If you still have problems with the school check into an advocate if the advocate can not help then you can go through an attorney. The advocate are typically free whereas the attorney you pay for. I used an advocate and the school shaped right up, it was amazing!!! But I had to send as much documentation as I could and I had a lot to send. They have all sorts of other options than medicine to treat ADD/ADHD. Definately bring it up to the doctor they can give you a letter stating the child does or does not show signs plus they can direct you to specialists if need be. I have had a tougher time with schools, like you, but investigating your options and learning your rights is going to be your biggest advantage and also using the sources to help you threw this. I saw the doctor documentation but not the advocates. The advocates will make suggestions as well. They would be familiar with the state rules for your location. Sometimes the advocates are familiar with the teacher/school for similar difficulties. Sounds like the teacher needed someone to pick on to bully and your child won the recipient award for being bullied. Sorry for your experience, it does make sending your child again scary. To bad teachers like this get away with this type of behavior. Stay strong, investigate, check into all the professionals, document, and then confront and don't for get to breath!!! (It helps you stay calm)

Kim - posted on 04/25/2011

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I'd would have gone to the Principal. I still would. She really should not be teaching with that attitude! You do not have to tell the current teacher if he is on meds or not. Don't even mention it. When he does well you have more ammo against the old teacher!

Christina - posted on 04/22/2011

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The interesting thing about ADD is that medication can be used to diagnose it. If your child's behavior/grades were not helped by the meds, he doesn't have ADD. That doesn't mean that he doesn't have another issue, so you should by all means take him to another (more objective) doctor. I would actually recommend a pediatric counselor or psychologist.

In addition, teacher diagnosis is not legal in my state, and neither is a school's insistence on medication. If your child is not hurting anyone, they must accommodate any learning differences that he might have. You may want to check your local regulations before the new school year starts to find out your rights.

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Since when does a teacher have the educational background to diagnose ADD, ADHD or any combination of the two? Ask her to show you her psychologist's license. Tell her that if she can't control her class to get a new job. Too many parents feel pressured to put their kids on meds when they aren't really needed. One teacher hinted that my son was hyper and I told her I guess so, he's a boy. Instead of putting him on meds he wound up in the Gifted and Talented program. They discovered what we already knew...he was bored. He tested in the 95 percentile or higher in EVERY SINGLE CATEGORY. Have your son tested at school. If you request it, they can't deny him by law.

Amanda - posted on 08/19/2010

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Thanks so much for all the advice guys!!! We did go to his pediatrician, who helped me make the decision to take him off of medication last year. I Met with his new teacher on Monday who is kinda a loner at this school anyway, and he had no idea that he could possibly have a problem. He had some of the highest end of year test scores out of his entire class!! His new teacher and I have come to a better understanding that maybe its not ADD at all, maybe he just picks it up the first time and does not like the repetition!!

Yaima - posted on 08/09/2010

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i feel for you. I had the same situation with 6 year old. every day there was a lame complaint from his teacher. But I think I acted smart. everytime i would pick him up, i had to hear these lame excuses for giving him a yellow. On the other hand he never got a bad grade in discipline on his grade reports. However, i just listened and went to school ready for sermon, every afternoon. To the point that she made him sit next to her by himself. His thing is that he is a little talker. But he is sweet, smart, and he listens.

Teachers now a days want to have little soldiers in their classrooms. No offense to any teacher here. If these children all could get medicated that would be best for them.

Finally when school was over, i let her know how happy i was with her and that was it. In other words, i was a hypocrit and a diplomatic. That's they way they are with their condescending style of treating people.

I forgot to mention i have a daughter who's 9, so i already know all the teachers in the school

they do talk , teacher talk, behind parents back. I also have a sister in law who is a teacher so she tells me.

If your child does not harm other kids, if he doesn't have disruptive behavior or out of the ordinary, why would you medicate him just based on what someone else says.

Just because she is a teacher it doesn't make smarter.

Kylie - posted on 08/09/2010

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Oh this sound like a lot of parent, teachers think if there medicated there easy to handle, don't feel like you have to lie. Make sure you get a different teacher this year, if not speak to the head master. I had a teacher do the same thing years agao with my eldest daughter and i'll tell you what we have had nothing but problems since. My duaghter doesn't have it and we got an outside opion and the doc said there was no way she was. But the damage was done, the teacher used it as an excuse for the tooo hard basket and now we spend 30 every afternoon doing revision so she can catch but up. what makes it worse is the teacher she has now has the same attitude and so now i'm fighting with her. I'm one of those parents as they say. I don't just sit back, if its not happening the way it should be then i'll make sure they change it. And they don't argue as i"m studying to be both a teacher in early childhood as well as 5-12 years, which helps. But just stand up and say what you think and you know your child better then any teacher.

Danielle - posted on 08/09/2010

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I read this and I can believe this at all. I agree she's a horrible teacher and I think your son was bored in her class.

Mandy - posted on 08/09/2010

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Hi there, i had the same problem with my son when we moved to from England to Spain i put both my children in a Private School (which i thought was best) but to my surpise my son got a teacher that didnt like him he was ok for the first few months but as she got to know him the letter's started coming to me. Your son as pinched someone, he as done this and that. I must admit that my son does have ADHD he was given the result back in england and is on tablets for this when he is at school. But this school excluded him from things like school trips and playing outside at play time because he maybe bad they would say. I found out that they didnt have a child syc for the children and that the teacher where not properly teaching teacher they was taking their teaching off the internet. My son was excluded to go on school trips as they said that he MAY RUN OFF not that he will run off, which i knew that he wouldnt run as he used to go on trips with the school back in england and he would stay by the teacher. then the children moved up a year but my son stayed behind and i couldnt understand why they turned around and said that he would benifit for staying in a lower group. he was 9 at this time. We knew how to handle my son as i had really good communication with his school from england and i was saying to this school try this way try that way they did it in england and it worked but they wouldnt take any notice. Soon they came up to me and say im sorry your son is only aloud to come in half days that his behavour is so bad that they couldnt cope i asked the school if they had been on a behavour management course and they replied its got nothing to do with us. So i since learnt that they hadnt.
So i took my child out of the school and put him in a Spainish School and to my surpise the teacher was a male teacher he as been doing well since being in this new school he as been in the Spanish school for 1 year now and will be moving up a class he as been on 4 school trips and a camping holiday with them and is alot better in school too, i must admit that my child isnt a fantastic child he has is moments like throwing stones in the air and running away as fast as he could lol but since he had a male teacher and changed the school he is fab.

Shannon - posted on 08/09/2010

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I had the same problems with my child teacher. The only difference is my kids really has ADHD. The teacher would complain about every little thing there was. I started to make copies of everything that was sent home. I went straight to the principal with everything I had and showed her. She then pulled the teacher in side for a parent, teacher, and principal meeting. After that meeting no more notes and they worked with her about her behavior problems in class. So all the rest of the year she was really good. I am hoping for a good year this year. I hope this helps.

Kat - posted on 08/09/2010

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Sorry to hear about your bad teacher experience. Don't lie to the teachers; just tell them that you appreciate their concern but you are following your sons doctor course of treatment. They don't need to know that perhaps your doctor agree's with you and he does not need medication. True ADD & ADHD kids can not sit still or stop moving; it's like asking a drunk to walk a straight line. Their little minds are whizzing by so fast that they get distracted easily; snd have difficulty concentrating or may be accused of daydreaming. I agree with Stephanie Park's advice.

Andie - posted on 08/08/2010

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If you honestly believe your son does not need medication, THEN DO NOT GIVE IT TO HIM! Our society has adopted to motto "If they act out in any way, give them a pill"! Try talking to the principal, if that doesn't work take it to the school board if necessary! YOU are still his mother, not the teachers! I've been through this so I know how frustrating it can be!

Julie - posted on 08/08/2010

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I'm a teacher, and not a medical doctor, therefore it is unethical for me to diagnose a medical problem. I can only suggest a parent have a child evaluated, and our school will administer one screening form, but can not diagnose. There is also a rule of any disorder effecting a child in 3 areas of life, not just at school. ADD/ADHD is a chemical imbalance in the brain, meds balance that chemical, but have the opposite effect or no effect in children without that imbalance.
My son has ADD, non-hyperactive, complete space cadet! :) I travel extra to a behavioral psychologist for his treatment because a pediatrician often does not specialize in this area. My son has problems at school, at home, with friends, and in sports events when he is not medicated. On meds he has a 4.0, and is much more successful in all areas of his life. He is also less likely to use illegal drugs as he gets older if his brain is at an equilibrium. There are good reasons to medicate, but only if the medication improves lifestyle.

Sarah - posted on 08/08/2010

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I have a 9 year old who was having a hard time at school last year. He was falling behind in his reading and writting and misbehaving in the classroom. His teacher recommended we have him tested but I was sure it was something else as his behaviour at home was great. We were starting to worry about what to do when my husband was picking him up one day and saw 2 other boys pushing him around. There had been a few fights with the boys before and the school was saying it was just their age and it would sort itself out. After this happened I rang the school and asked for a meeting, they were happy to do this but we would need to wait a few days. I rang another school that some friends had kids at and went to see them. I explained the situation and they agreed to fit him into a class there. Within a month he wasd reading well, his writting had improved dramatically and his behaviour was far better (he's still naughty sometimes). My point is, sometimes there can be underlying reasons and sometimes teachers can be abit bias about kids if they are expecting them to misbehave. Expectation breeds behaviour. (teachers do talk) Maybe they just need a second chance. My son is doing far better in a public school than in the private school that cost a fortune!

Ilene - posted on 08/07/2010

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A teacher cannot diagnose ADD only a doctor can and he needs weeks of evaluations to get to this point.



Here's my story: last year my son's K teacher was telling me that my son was unresponsive, that he was goofing off, singing in class, getting up and moving around the class. She wanted an IEP based on his behavior. They were throwing around the ADD and ADHD terms as if my son was such a huge behavioral problem.



The principal came to me one day and said she would observe. The principal felt that my son would do better in another class. Within a few days of the new class, she came to me and said he was different child. So much happier and doing so much better. Personalities do clash and your son may do better in a different class.



I would start the year and see how he does. One thing we had to deal with was that my son's difficulties were the result of having water in his ears and he had to get ear tubes in March of this past year. He has done so much better since those tubes were put in. Have you checked his hearing with your pediatrician?

Stephanie - posted on 08/07/2010

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I am confused as to how and why a Teacher has the right the diagnose a child with ADD. Did she somehow also receive a degree in medicine while fulfilling her education degree? What this sounds like to me is discrimination and I would take this to the Board of Education ASAP. Also, it is a FANTASTIC idea to ALWAYS get a second opinion. I would in fact take my child to a psychologist (child) and or psychiatrist (child) and have him evaluated. As for your teacher making suggestions for 3 year old to take medications as well....this is outrageous and absurd and honestly ticks me off. Again my response is based solely on the information you've provided but it sounds to me that you probably have a right to request your child be placed in another class or at the extreme another school.

Lori - posted on 08/07/2010

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I would take him to a children's Dr. When My Daughter was in the 2nd grade her teacher would send me notes home all the time saying I needed to have her tested. personaly I never seen the signs that her teacher calmed she saw, I have worked with children for 16+years and Know that some children learn better through movement it's hard for a child to sit still for 8 hours a day with very few breaks..My Daughter's Dr said she was fine the next school year we moved and my Daughter entered into a new school we have had no complaints form any of her teachers she will be in the 6th grade this year and is an A+ student. You know your child best follow your instinct.

Rachel - posted on 08/06/2010

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I would be pist off for one. Love how you have kept your composure. Great Job I must say. Seriously so far that you have gone through and you still seem sane..!
I have a child that is add/adhd and I also have a daughter that is autistic. A teacher can give a recomendation but she cannot diagnose your childAnyone whjo recommends a child at the age of 3 to take meds for add/adhd needs to go back to school.
You truly need to go out of the school system for this and after sitting down with your childs dr perhaps get a diagnosis that your child is not add/adhd then set up an appt with the schools nurse, principal and new teacher and voice your concerns as a mother and let them know last years situation. If attitudes dont change sopeak with the superintendent and get ahold of the news.. ;)

Melissa - posted on 08/06/2010

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I am a Special Education teacher in NYS. Teachers CANNOT force parents to medicate their children. We cannot force you into labels, schools cannot force you to medicate your child. We can suggest evaluations but you are under no obligation to do so. This is FEDERAL law-IDEA. What the teacher has done is wrong, ethically and perhaps legally. If you do not want to medicate your child then the teacher should be implementing different behavior techniques and class management techniques for the problems she perceives. Wiggling in your seat, by the way is not a sign of ADD, neither is playing with your shoe lace. Those are signs of boredom in class. Any diagnosis such as ADHD/ADD should be made by a doctor and there should be a paper trail. If teachers have felt that your son is ADD then you should have real documented proof on how his behavior disrupts his ability to learn AND that he disrupts the learning process of others. And still after all of that-YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT THE DIAGNOSIS OR MEDICATE YOUR CHILD. I wish you luck and am so sorry that there are teachers out there who feel that this is within their teaching rights.

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I would be honest to the new teacher, let her know up front that he is not on his meds, and see what this teacher thinks. Teachers do talk, but if the teacher is a good one, then she will not believe what the other teachers say and give your kid a clean slate. I had the same problem with one of the teachers, but the next years teachers didn't hold what happened the year before against him. And my son was doing worse things then what your son did. My son was jumping from desk to desk, running out of the classroom, things like that. Good luck.

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