Teaching kids to be unselfish

Sarah - posted on 02/08/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Does anybody have ideas or thoughts on how to help kids become more empathetic and unselfish? My 9 and 7 year old daughters really need a good lesson in empathy when it comes to helping out at home. They pick up their belongings everyday, sometimes without being told; but when it comes to helping their dad or myself they act like I asked to to go find a full time job! If we ask them to come and help take groceries to the house, or get something from the car they will outright refuse. Then it come down to TELLING them they have to do it which they can't refuse without getting in trouble. We don't want to have to be demanding all the time, it would be nice if they would comply with a smile on their face. Heck, I don't even need a smile just a nice "yes mommy" would be great!

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3 Comments

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Charlotte - posted on 02/09/2009

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Hi, I have 2 boys aged 10 and 6 they do help around the house sometimes with a smile, sometimes without.

I felt they were spending too much time on the play station so i found a fab way to encourage them to earn time on the ps and help out.

They each have a chart and every time they help out (either been asked and sometimes without) they get a sticker on the chart, each sticker = 5 mins on the play station, at the end of the week we total the mins up and thats the amount of time they can spend,they also can see how much they helped out. you could choose your own reward, hope I helped

Sarah - posted on 02/09/2009

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We have had many chats about how families stick together by helping each other and I highlight everything we as parents do. They do have daily chores, maybe thats my mistake...

Amy - posted on 02/08/2009

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We have frequent chats with our kids about how being a family means helping each other out, cuz we are all there for each other forever. My kids (3,5,6,8) don't have chores, but usually pitch in to help willingly with whatever is asked. Maybe a chat about how mom and dad don't need to  carry all the groceries in b/c the food is for everyone, or how helping out is just nice and makes things easier for everyone. They are definately old enough to understand those concepts. They sound like they are off to a great start with their own things, maybe they just need to take a bit of "ownership" for family things and start to see them as important too.