The birds and the bees

Belinda - posted on 07/30/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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what is a good way to explain this topic to your 8yr old daughter? I got tongue tied when trying to explain..I guess I was just not prepared to answer questions like this yet..

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Ashley - posted on 07/30/2009

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I told my 8 yr old son the truth when he asked. I reminded him our bodies are a gift for us to enjoy and use to do the Lords work. Part of that privilage is having babies.I said when a man and a woman fall in love and sometimes get married they might decide they want to have a baby. They usually sit down together and pray to God about it and then begin to help God to create a baby. Now to create a baby it takes a man and a woman. They hold eachother very close, so close that the man parts enter the woman parts. Each of us (man and woman) have something inside us that God uses to create a baby. A woman has eggs and the man has what is needed to make that egg grow. When they hold eachother close, those two things meet inside the woman and a baby begins to grow, sort of like planting a seed. This is called "lovemaking", because you are making a baby with love. The baby will stay inside the mommy until it is big enough to come out. The baby gets food through the mommy while it's in there.(insert belly button poking here). When the baby is ready to come out, it comes through the opening women have. You want to make sure you never lie to your children. If her friend is telling her, you need to tell her the truth first so she isn't confused and doesn't think of it as a bad thing. My son was very satisfied with this answer. They know they will always get the truth from me, no matter what. Even when we go to the doctor,he will say "am I getting shots?" I say "yes" he says "is it going to hurt?" I say "most likely". Never lie to her and you can guarantee she will always come to you. I'm sure you are a good mama and you will figure out what to do, hope this helps.

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Christine - posted on 08/05/2009

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Thank you Maggie! I've been struggling with questions from my 7 year old lately. I've gone as far as to tell her that in order for a baby to be made that a man and a woman have to have sex. Now, I haven't explained what sex actually is, but when she said "eww" I told her that it sex is not a bad, gross thing, but a wonderful thing for two people who love each other. However, I would like to go a little more in detail about the actual baby creation process (eggs, sperm, etc.) and the book It's So Amazing looks perfect!

Helen - posted on 08/05/2009

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To be honest i don't think there is an actual age... it depends on whether you think your daughter is ready to hear it all. It's a good time to talk when you may think that her hormones are starting. My daughter showed signs at the age of 9, but every girl is different. Some are ealier or later than others. I felt the same as you... i wanted to tell her before her school did. Her school sent home letters warning the parents of the three lessons they'll be having in a few months time, so i made a point of having just me and her alone at home. I turned the tv off and said that i would like to tell her about her changing body... then made it go further onto the boys bits etc...I explained it in a calm and funny manor to make her feel relaxed and drew some pictures with arrows etc whilst i explained. It was all over within minutes. (just like the real thing lol) Her response was 'can i put the tv back on now' lol. I'm sure in her drawer she still has my drawings. I'm so glad i had told her as she came home from school after her lessons, with questions. Maybe our little chat made her realise that it's not rude and that i can help etc etc.

I hope i have helped you..... it's nerve wrecking, but once you start, it'll flow easy.

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2009

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I was just wondering at what age do you start to tell them about the birds and bees and how do you bring up the topic? My daughter is seven and we started by telling her about the good touch bad touch and I want her to learn about it from me not school or friends help please

Helen - posted on 08/02/2009

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Just do what comes natural to you, but i do agree with Brandy... don't lie. Maybe wait until she asks first, then just answer that one question... when she's ready to learn more, she'll ask more. Our primary school do sex education from the age 9. So be prepared for the extra questions and they may ask whilst on the bus.... my daughter did !!!!!

Maggie - posted on 08/02/2009

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I was given 2 great books for my son (the books were given to me by my father, who is a clinical psychologist). One is called "It's So Amazing" and the other is "It's Not the Stork." They're both by the same author and explain it all simply and directly, along with these cute cartoons of a bird who is really curious and a bee who thinks everything sex-related is completely embarrassing to talk about. My son is 6 and he loves both books. It's Not the Stork is for kids 4 and up. It's so Amazing is for probably 7 or 8+. It explains sex, pregnancy, birth, puberty, different types of families, etc. I thought they were great.

Brandy - posted on 08/01/2009

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i can tell you as a teenage mom that didnt know anything. dont lie to her ever and dont make her feel embaressed to come to you. always be truthfull but dont over due it dont tell her more than she nees to know or that is age appropiate and at her age she doesnt know much just the things the other child is telling her which may not be true. you should find out what she is being told first. my frineds daughter thought that kissing was having sex. she was about the same age. i never went to my mom and learned most things from my friends and " then" boyfrined. i dont think i would have gotten pregnant at 15 had my mom been open with me but i couldnt go to her she wouldnt talk to me it was a " forbidden" subject

Joanne - posted on 08/01/2009

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my daughter is 10 and asked me unexpectedly so i asked her what she thought it was all about n then told her what i think she needed to know at this age x

its pointless putting it off as we have to tell them at some point x

Yohnnilee - posted on 07/31/2009

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I'm definately dreading this... My son is 5 so my time is coming. It was helpful to read the insights of others. Thanks!

Crystal - posted on 07/31/2009

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I had the same conversation with my daughter last summer who is 10. I have to admit I chickened out a couple of times. I just didn't know how to start the topic. After she told me what she knows which was nothing at all lol, I presented her with the facts, used proper terminology and kept the conversation to a minimum. I was afraid I'd tell her something more than she could handle for her age. .After that, I asked her if she had any questions and she did.

"Mom what are we having for dinner?"

Whew!!!

Belinda - posted on 07/30/2009

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Thanks, to the both of you. We have a very close relationship, we always do stuff together, but I will reiterate she can always come to me. When I asked her what peaked her curiosity she told me her friend who is 11 was telling her stuff.

Heather - posted on 07/30/2009

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I agree with Bridget. Ask her what she knows first and see where she is at. Then ask her if she has any questions. If she does, answer just what she asked simply and to the point. If she doesn't have any questions, assure her that she can talk to you about it at any time. That is probably the most important thing, that she feels safe and comfortable to come to you. She will probably have a little lesson about menstruation at school in fifth grade and that will likely prompt more curiosity from her.

Bridget - posted on 07/30/2009

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I would first ask her what she knows. Finding out what she thinks will help to give you and idea as to how mature she is on this subject. Then go from there. At eight, I don't think they need to know much about the actual action of it (not that I am an expert). It might not be a bad idea to discuss some of the particulars of puberty though.

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