Too much for a 10 year old/4th grader to handle?

Denise - posted on 03/21/2012 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Was wondering if I am being too protective of my 10 year old daughter in this situation:



She is in the school play. She has performances this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She is also in the Spring volleyball league. She is supposed to play a game at the local Y at 9 AM this Saturday. She has a performance the night before until 9 PM, has to come home and shower, and get something to eat, and then head to bed. She might get to bed by 10:30 PM if we're lucky. The Y is 30 miles away. So, I would have to get her up at 7 AM to get up, have breakfast, and get ready and get to the Y before 9 AM so she can warm up. She'll get out of the Y at about 11 AM. Then she has to be at school by 5 PM to get ready for the second night of her play, and she'll be there again until 9 PM.



Now, do you think that's too much for a 10 year old girl? I want to have her skip this Saturday's game so she can sleep in and rest up. But, I think I am the only mom doing this, and almost all the girls in volleyball are also in the play. So I'm feeling pressure from the other moms to have her play the game on Saturday.



I'd really like some opinions from you other moms. I think it's too much-I'm afraid she'll overdo it and get sick or something.



Thanks much! ♥

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Denise - posted on 03/22/2012

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I agree with the first post. My 10 year old daughter requires alot of sleep (10.5 hours at night) but it is only one weekend. I would let my daughter do it all but have her rest Saturday afternoon. Then I would let her sleep in on Sunday so she is ready for school on Monday. One way to save time is have her eat on the way home Friday night then she only needs to shower and go to bed.

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Angel - posted on 04/13/2012

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i say let him try it one weekend and see how she does and come from there if it comes up again..

Denise - posted on 03/26/2012

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Thanks, Alice and Teresa! She was an Oompa Loompa in our school's production of Willy Wonka. Kids from K-12 participated. 16 of her classmates were also Oompa Loompas-it was great fun. They were the "old school" ones with the white overalls, orange skin, and green hair. They even had the white fuzzy eyebrows.

Alice - posted on 03/26/2012

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It sounds like you and your family learned a lot this weekend! I understand the challenge and frustration you mentioned concerning the volleyball schedule, etc. Congratulations to you on seeing the red flags, asking for help, doing the best you could and setting boundaries for the future. Good for you!

Denise - posted on 03/26/2012

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Yes, I agree with Leslie and Leandra as well. She was tired Saturday after Volleyball, so she took a nap. She made it through her play Saturday and Sunday fine, and she's glad it's all over now. They don't offer roles for kids too much in the seasonal plays, so I'm glad she had the opportunity. But, part of the problem is that the people with the volleyball league couldn't give us a start time until the last minute. We had originally thought the play would be over before volleyball started. So, we were caught off guard a little. In the fall, what ever she signs up for first will come first, and everything else will need to be thought about whether she can handle it or she needs to pass it up. I never had all this when I was a kid, so it's all new to me too.

Alice - posted on 03/25/2012

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I agree with Leslie and Leandra. This is an excellent opportunity for your daughter to learn about respect, commitment, personal limits and boundaries. This is also an excellent opportunity to use the experiences and results of activities to make choices about future commitments. Accountability is important, learning our limits and making good choices are lifetime skills. If all of the activities prove to be too much - yes, something will need to go...........after all the commitments have been met.

Leslie - posted on 03/24/2012

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I would say let her try. If it is too much then she has to quit something. It is not right to not show up for games. Her teammates depend on her. We have children in soccer and softball and it is extremely frustrating to have children not show up. This way she can learn what her limits are and about being committed to what she has chosen to join.

Erny - posted on 03/23/2012

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If I'm inyour position, I'll be worry too. The first thing I'll do is talk to my daughter. Can she handle all thss activities, is she exhaustedif she said yes, then I will let her go ahead, but if not, then I will let her skip the play no matter how. At age of 10 our kids have grown up and can make such decision.,

Kelley - posted on 03/23/2012

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You know your child better than anyone else. If you think she needs the sleep, then skip the game. You are her parent. They are not and frankly, it's none of their business.

Leandra - posted on 03/22/2012

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Okay, I can't help myself but to respond to this one. Lets first examine what integrity means. She has made commitments, 1. Volleyball team, 2. School play and cast. I can't see how getting 7.5 - 8.5 hours of sleep for one weekend is going to cause damage, I can however see how when we break our commitments, losing integrity is damaging. Maybe this is an opportunity for her to discover her boundary. If she is fine, no problem. If she does overdo herself, she can learn about when you step back and when to go for it, if she doesn't handle it well, get exhausted or has fatigue, or whatever arises can be an opportunity to discuss limits and learning not to commit to too many things at once. Girls at 10 are much more resilient that at age 2. Just a thought.

Stacy - posted on 03/22/2012

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She is,your child and you need to do what's in the best interest of your

child..She needs her rest and your the only person who can give it to her...put your foot down and tell her and the other parents..that she is going to sit this one out..Good Luck!

Denise - posted on 03/22/2012

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All good input-thank you! I think I will let her go ahead and play this Saturday, as long as she gets right to bed, etc on Friday night.

Cara - posted on 03/22/2012

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My ten years goes more then that regularly but I did and all but one of my six kids do. They really don't like too much down time. It really depends on your child...

Liz - posted on 03/21/2012

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You know better than all those other moms how much sleep your daughter needs. If you don't think that 8.5 hours is enough for her, then don't have her play. It's better that she miss one game than go because you feel pressured and get hurt from being tired. What does she want to do? Ultimately of course, it is up to you. Maybe you could do a "wait-and-see" type thing as well, and she how tired out she is from the Thursday and Friday performances and base your decision on that. Good luck!

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It's just one weekend. I think my girls (10 year old twins) would be fine... though they'd certainly be crashed out by Sunday night. She does have all Saturday afternoon to veg out, right? I, however, would not be able to handle that schedule. I'm way more of a 'wimp' than my kids. ;) lol

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