Krystal - posted on 06/13/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )
Here's the 2nd update picking up from where the 1st left off (you may want to scan over the first update to catch up. You can find it on my profile page under recent activity)
My husband & I were served papers on the 1st of June.
What she claims I did to warrant an order to protect her and my stepson from me;
1. Harassment by way of the email I sent her, her mom, and sister that I told you guys about in the first update.
2. Slander by way of the multiple status updates posted on my facebook that vaguely outlining what was going on. This was also talked about in the first update.
3. Child Abuse by way of emotional distress from my accusations that he has done disgusting and wrong things when he is, "quite obviously, so innocent" and now, because of my terrible and traumatizing allegations, he is very depressed and the psychological/emotional damage I did to him is irrevocable.
********What happened June, 04: hearing for restraining order************
1. All texts, emails, and posts on facebook were submitted to His Honor for consideration when making His ruling. This worked in my favor since all contact made by my stepson's mother, her mom, and the rest of her family (5 total) consisted of name calling, low blows, accusations, nasty statements, and I responded the same way to every single one of them; calmly and respectfully imploring them to put their hatred aside and see what was happening to the babies.
2. She submitted, as evidence, a letter written by a woman I used to be best friends with 3 years ago when I moved to New Mexico.
QUICK BACK STORY ON THAT SITUATION: Apparently I'm a needy & selfish bitch because I expect, if I am there for you 100%, for you to at least call me when I'm hospitalized while living in a place where I know NOBODY other than you and will rip you a new asshole for being such a shitty friend.
2 continued. That is what fueled the composition of a very damaging and untrue letter that was used to validate the claims made by my stepson's mother that I was neglectful as a mother because I was always high as a kite and that mind set is what allowed me to SEXUALLY ABUSE MY STEPSON! Yes you read that right.
3. The Judge had to keep reprimanding me for visibly and audibly reacting to her allegations. His Honor found it in bad taste to post on facebook what was happening for all to see and read and telling Him that my posts were only viewable by friends didn't help matters any. His Honor was presented with the prescription bottles to show I don't illegally abuse anything. When I got to my defense, His Honor refused to let me defend myself against all the allegations and evidence presented against me by my stepson's mother. I was absolutely positive that CPS was going to take my daughter and the Judge would grant the order of protection.
4. The order to protect my stepson and his mother from me for a minimum of 3 years was DENIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though this was a huge victory that should speak volumes in my favor to the Judge ruling on the visitation modifications being requested against my husband, I paid a huge price for this win. The emotional and psychological beating my sense of worth, integral character, and coveted title of MOM/STEPMOM endured caused damage that is irreparable and can not adequately be measured.
*********What she is taking my Hubby to court for and why*************
She aims to get visitation modified in the following ways:
1. Limited to 3 hours every Sunday (this is so she can get the most from him in child support since the less time spent the more money paid)
2. Only to take place at her mother's home (this is to avoid the chance my stepson could come into contact with me and my daughter were he to come to our home)
3. Supervised by her mother (to be sure my daughter and I do not participate in the visitation since she planned to have a protective order placed against me that would keep me 100yds away from her mother's home and my stepson)
4. Under no circumstances am I or my daughter allowed to be present during this visitation period.
5. Drug testing is recommended monthly.
Why she feels this modification is warranted;
1. WE always break plans with her son w/o giving a reason for cancellation (my daughter, me, my hubby, and even her son being sick didn't count for a good reason & anytime we canceled we'd see him on an alternate day), once for 5 weeks in a row.
** the only time we went more than 2 wks in a row w/o seeing him was when his mother DENIED VISITATION because she was angry with us, hence, why I haven't seen him in 6 wks since this whole things started**
2. Though she has expressed disapproval for over 2 years now of my continuous Oxycontin abuse around her son, I have made visitation difficult because I won't cease using it.
**she fails to mention that I've lived w/chronic pain, undiagnosed in it's entirety, for the last 5 years straight that has my doctor's prescribing me Oxycodone to manage my pain**
3. Out of a couple handfuls of sleepovers SHE accuses my son of molesting his half sister EVERY time but can never provide me with proof even though a camera was set up in their room, something I did not approve of.
**The camera sends a live feed of the activity in their room to a monitor in our room. It was installed so we could supervise them when we aren't checking in on them every 5 minutes if they are playing, like every other child, in their room w/no closed doors. She wants proof like we should allow the abuse to happen, tape it, and then play it for her instead of stop it before it begins!**
4. She has not received any financial support since he stopped receiving unemployment in November of 09 and doesn't spend any alone time with his son.
** He has no income and, when he did make money selling our wedding set, SHE got $100 of it! Whenever he's had his son by himself his son spends the whole time asking for me and my daughter**
Because the court date for mediation is on the 23rd and they see a Judge on the 28th you will be given the ruling and hearing details in the 3rd installment of updates for this ongoing saga. I provided a bit of my defense to her claims so you have an idea but you'll get more details in the 3rd update. I promise to have it posted, regardless of the verdict, before the end of the month.
However, CPS did show up on Thursday, the 10th, and spoke with my husband and daughter for an hour or so. I was asleep. He told my hubby about the visit he just had with my stepson's mother & stepson, in particular, what all she told him about us. Because we always respond to her digs this way, my husband refrained from any bad mouthing, rather, he systematically refuted all she had claimed and drew the attention back to the children.
My daughter will be seeing her pediatrician for a physical check up and tentative evaluation of her emotional and mental state on Friday the 18th. She will determine whether or not my daughter is in dire need of counseling. Regardless of what she says on this point my daughter will be receiving whatever therapy services that Medi-Cal can provide. What kind of help my stepson is getting has not been disclosed to me or my husband.
Although, she did make a statement, under oath, that she is putting her son in counseling so the damage I've caused by ostracizing and vilifying him in my accusations & facebook posts can, hopefully, be undone. Whatever, counseling is counseling so as long as his therapist has an ounce of a brain the truth will come out.
Until then, I guess my stepson will continue to lie about his part in the molestation of his sister, how he isn't a victim himself, he'll keep making up stories about how his sister is to blame for all of it and how I've been molesting him. What's worse than that, though, is that all those rallying behind him will continue to believe I'm capable and guilty of such heart wrenching and soul destroying behavior.
ON A GOOD NOTE:
A. I won by having the order DENIED and this will speak volumes in my favor.
B. To every one of you who commented on one of my posts, invested yourselves so much that you are following and commenting on all my updates, and those who have contacted me personally to offer their advice and support,
I almost didn't show up to fight this order because I knew she would fight unfairly. She actually out did herself in how low she went to obliterate me so, trust when I say this, all of those comments and prayers filled my soul. Your unanimous show of support for ME and what I was doing injected stiffness into my spine, determination into my brow, strength into my neck holding my head high, and the courage into my heart allowing me to successfully fight for my babies lost innocence in a rational manner instead of crumpling into the heap of tears and defeat that was my fate before reading all your replies.
I can not reply to all the messages you send but I promise that I read them. I also read and rely on every comment made on every post. I even routinely check old posts looking for new comments. I'm not being dramatic and I'm not exaggerating when I say that my corner was empty until I posted my issue and updates on Circle of Mom's. Looks like facebook isn't as evil as I started to believe it was!
FROM THE DEEPEST RECESSES OF MY HEART AND SOUL I THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO HAVE TAKEN THE TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY LIVES TO OFFER YOUR SUPPORT, BE IT ONCE OR CONTINUOUSLY, AS YOU HAVE BECOME THE IGNITION THAT FUELS MY FIRE AND THE METHOD BEHIND MY MADNESS!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU ALL!