What age do you think it is acceptable to discuss the facts of life with your daughter?

Mandy - posted on 10/16/2009 ( 97 moms have responded )

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My daughter is almost 10. She has started to talk about things she has seen on TV in such a way that I am waiting for the inevitable question, "mum, what is sex?" She does not watch anything of an adult context, but it is difficult when she watches American teen programmes, chat shows and the like. She still believes in Santa Claus, and I am reluctant to discuss sex yet, but I am sure kids at school will be using the word - and I am interested to know if other mums have had the same issue.

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Juliette\Monette - posted on 10/16/2009

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Definately be the first to tell your daughter about Sex, you never want her to get the wrong information. i have a ten year old boy and a eight year old girl and I have always had an open dialouge with them about the subject with age appropriate language. At your daughters age i would explain sex to her in the way a doctor would, very scientific. Use appropriate words, no nick names and tell her the whole intercourse and egg and sperm concept not the juicy parts! good luck and if you need more help, I heard pictures could help, there are lots of age appropriate books on the subject, hope this helps!

Sandi - posted on 10/20/2009

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Quoting Gentry:



Quoting Jamie:

My daughter is 4 and is constantly questioning me...I really don't know how to go about telling her.





Something is wrong in your household if at the age of 4 she is asking you about sex.
Not trying to be judgemental but something is really wrong with this.






That is a really shitty thing to say!  When my kids were three they were asking me stuff because I was pregnant.  They saw me changing a little boy's diaper (what's THAT?) They would hear something on TV or on the radio (what's making love?  why is everyone laughing about what he said?).  They would hear comments from their older cousins.  They would listen in on conversations when they were supposed to be asleep.  Not trying to be judgemental my ass.  Get the beam out of your own eye before you start picking at the speck in someone elses!  Jamie, your kid is normal!!!  Gentry is . . . well, I guess it's not polite to call someone a moron - might be told their's something wrong in my household!

Monica - posted on 10/28/2009

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I don't have a daughter but my son started asking about where babies come from at age 7! I was told by several parents to tell him the truth about it so that later I wouldn't have to deal with more questions and confussion. So we went to the library and checked out books on it. As for you, I would sit her down and just expalin things to her and answer any questions that she has. She is already 10yrs old and will more than likely be starting her menstral cycle in the next couple of years so it's time. Schools don't do it that I know of but I went to private school and in the third grade they took all us girls aside as a group and showed us a video for what was coming. Sex is just a part of life and kids that aren't informed a lot of time tend to be the ones that get into trouble later on in life. Just be honest about it with her and show her that she can come to you with questions like this and you'll be fine. Best of lick to you.

Alanna - posted on 10/24/2009

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My oldest daughter is 9 now, however I talked to her when she was 8. I decided that I needed to talk to her when I saw that she starting realising she had feelings down there that were different. I talked to her about sex. I kept it very factual. I was concerned that if I wait until my daughter asks me, by that time, she might already have a preconcieved idea from peers. Because children will usually talk to their friends first. I wanted to leave a positive impression based on our spiritual beliefs. I didn't want her to start off with feeling like sex is dirty, or that there was something wrong with her. I also teach her what God's plan and purpose is for sex... We had a great conversation and I let her ask me questions afterwards. I am very thankful that I diid it.

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Judy - posted on 03/22/2014

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They already know they hear it at school all the time im 12 and i know i felt cimfortable with my mom about it because she made it brief and made it seem stupid and funny and never talked about it since they dont like u to mention it more than once believe me its akward and the last thing i would want my mom to do

[deleted account]

i can only tell u my expierence i told my girl at 10. i feel knowlege is power. i rather her hear it from me than reading off bathroom walls or some friend telling her wrong facts. if u r asking this ? i think its time.

Michelle - posted on 11/03/2009

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i dont think there is an age to discuss it .. it should be openly and honestly talked about from the time they are able to speak... it shouldn't be a 'talk'

[deleted account]

Stacey, You are right the way your thinking in my opinion. Really all we can do is teach them wrong from right and reality and then the rest is up too them and God after a certain point. We always try to continue guiding them where we think they should go but they have there own minds and will make their own success and mistakes... Good talking with ya. Darla

Melissa - posted on 10/25/2009

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I agree with you, Olivia. If they are asking questions, I would give them the answers. I would rather my child get the facts from me instead of from their friends who are just as confused about this subject.

Ruth - posted on 10/24/2009

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It's a gradual information leak with this topic ...

with girls its the body changes that really need to be discussed with them so they are fully aware of what's happening to them . If they are asking the questions ... then you need to be prepared to answer there and then.

Stacy - posted on 10/24/2009

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Most parents have the good touch bad touch talk with their kids. I had that talk with all my kids, and soon after they ask why people touch there. I started this talk with all my kids when they were about 3-4. Where are they went to sitters. You can never be to sure about the people around your children, even at families houses. After the good ,and bad touch talk does come the rest of it. Prepare your child for what she needs to know. And hope you have told her enough so that she can keep herself in one piece. It is never to early or to late to have this talk with your kids. Keep them informed, and tell them how you feel about situations.

Angie - posted on 10/24/2009

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my daughter is 11 and she heres alot of stuff from school already so i decided to talk to her about it.

[deleted account]

The proof is in the pudding ...

I'm still referring to comments about TV and viewing on this topic ... Today we watched Dora the Explorer and it was the episode where the twins are born.

Well, if that didn't start the floodgates again for the facts of life questions!!

So, screening viewing is definitely no guarantee to postpone the questions ...

Maureen - posted on 10/24/2009

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never hide anything from her! it is better she hears the correct things about sex from you than from other because the facts she gets from others might not be what you want her to have! they are never too young too know! my daughter is 4 and i talk to her about every thing so that she knows that i trust her to make the right decision but yet she can always come to me with anything without being scare of my response! so dont hide information share and educate her! hopes that helps!

Jany - posted on 10/24/2009

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If she is starting to ask it is best that you have a conversation about sex not on how to have sex. It's better that she hears the facts from you and not try to get them from someone that might give her the wrong answers [like another child].

Sally - posted on 10/24/2009

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Our school has recently decided (after much debate from parents)to approcoach the 'where did I come from?" question with thier primary school children (8-12yrs). I find they are now giggling and being silly about the words sex. penis etc and personally feel that education and information may quell some of this speculation-that being said we as parents have always answered his question honestly but only to the exact extent of the question. Theory that if he has a futher question he will ask it and it will be answered.

Stacy - posted on 10/24/2009

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You would be surprised in what she already knows. I would have the talk with her. My oldest boy is 11, and not long ago he told me he wanted babies, he did say when he gets older, but I thought to myself what does he know about making or having babies. I asked him if he knew how to make babies, and oh boy did he tell me. I was surprised he knew all that, and disapointed that I or his father didn't get to tell him. They learn most this stuff at school, and from friends. Sad thing is that kids are having babies just as early as they learn about them. I had my oldest at 18, and thought that was young. Now I hear of kids having kids as young as 12-13. My niece had her first at15. I would have the talk with her, and then explain why it is important to wait. It's better she hears it from you, and not someone else, and that person trying to tell her how good they think it is. I wish my mom had the talk with me.Good Luck!

[deleted account]

Valerie, I may have posted on the wrong reply earlier because I was referring to who ever made the rude comment about something being wrong in your household when a four yr old is questioning sex. That pissed me off because they are living in a fantasy world and who are they to judge about what goes on in someones home they do not even know. Four yr olds dont have to be exposed to anything inappropriate to have questions. Its mother nature. Thank you

Valerie - posted on 10/23/2009

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I ALWAYS answer whichever questions they ask with honesty and let it go at their pace. I will bet you she has already heard versions in school. Hannah had sex ed in preschool!! I don't want sex to be a big mystery and taboo to my daughters. I work VERY hard at appearing comfortable when answering their questions and trying to make it comfortable for them to ask what they want.

[deleted account]

Being strict about what your child is exposed too is fine, but there is a real world out there and a little thing called human nature. My children are also honor roll students that are in high school and the other two are in college working full time and very responsible adults. It is a parents job to educate their children on this matter not their friends at school or daycare etc...Wether we like it or not it is the real world and we do not have to speak of it as a sexual thing. We do not have to elaborate on the subject, but no matter what you keep from them they are going to find out about the matter somewhere, somehow and I would rather they know from me the technical facts. Sharing with your child how important it is that they save theirselves throughout their lifes and living in a home filled with the spirit of God and Jesus is not going to take the curiosity nor desires that are human nature away. I have always told my children it is something you do when your married and if you give into your desires or the manipulation of the opposite sex and do it outside of marriage there are consequences for it emotionally and physically. It is a sin and God will punish you for it just like any other sin. Their is a reason he says only in marriage should this act be shared. I have five and the youngest is 16 and I have always been open and honest but conservitive about the subject. I have told them if they do it before they are married girl or boy they will suffer for it. I have also told them that they can talk to me about anything and if the desires or temptation ever arises and it has come to me and I will not judge. God does that. If they choose to give in to sin they will pay but I want them to know how to protect themselves as much as they can. Then I feel as a mother I have covered all basis:One what will happen if they choose to do wrong, two how to protect themself from everyone but the punishment of God if they are going to give in no matter what I or the bible says.Therefore there will be no suprises for them. Its each parents right and choice of how to handle this matter. I do believe controlling what they watch and do that about subjects them to matters that are to old forthem to comprehend. It will come soon enough, but its your job to educate your child and once they know right from wrong they make the choices and suffer the consequences forthe wrong ones. Darla

Nicci - posted on 10/23/2009

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by 10 they already know most of it from school. the better educated you make them the better off they are but by 4th 5th grade they already know most of it from other kids talking.

Deanne - posted on 10/23/2009

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My personal opinion, I believe it is all in what the parent feels comfortable with.
I myself have an 11 yr. old daughter who is starting to develop and has been learning things about the changes that will take place in her body.I've been answering Mikayla's questions ever since she has been really small.I rather my child be able to come to me with her questions and feel comfortable.I really want Mikayla to be aware but in the same token I don't want her to feel that it is okay to go out and have sex at an early age.
I feel if more parent's would be open with their children,their children will have more trust in the parent and not hesitate to come to them with their problems/questions.
Our children don't to hear false information,they need to hear the truth

Mari - posted on 10/23/2009

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Quoting Sandi:



Quoting Gentry:




Quoting Jamie:

My daughter is 4 and is constantly questioning me...I really don't know how to go about telling her.







Something is wrong in your household if at the age of 4 she is asking you about sex.
Not trying to be judgemental but something is really wrong with this.










That is a really shitty thing to say!  When my kids were three they were asking me stuff because I was pregnant.  They saw me changing a little boy's diaper (what's THAT?) They would hear something on TV or on the radio (what's making love?  why is everyone laughing about what he said?).  They would hear comments from their older cousins.  They would listen in on conversations when they were supposed to be asleep.  Not trying to be judgemental my ass.  Get the beam out of your own eye before you start picking at the speck in someone elses!  Jamie, your kid is normal!!!  Gentry is . . . well, I guess it's not polite to call someone a moron - might be told their's something wrong in my household!





I AGREE MY DAUGHTER IS JUST OVER 4 YEAR'S OLD AND I'M A SINGLE MOM,  SHE ALSO ASK QEUSTIONS ABOUT WHERE BABY'S COME FORM ( SHE PICKED THE STUFF UP AT HER DAYCARE) SO I TOLD HER THE TRUTH (AND I MEAN THERE IS WAY'S TO TELL HER SOME OF THE DETAILS WITH OUT TAKE THERE INNOCENCE) BECAUSE I BELIEF IF U ARE TRUTHFULL WITH YOUR CHILD HE OR SHE WILL COMEBACK AND ASK U AGAIN IF THEY ARE NOT SURE ABOUT SOMETHING RATHER THEN GOING TO ASK, SOMEONE ELS AND GET A HALF ASSED ANSER LIKE THERE IS SOMETHING WORNG WITH U FOR WANTING TO KNOW THESE THINGS, WE ARE ALREADY SCARED SHITLESS OF SCREWING UP SOME HOW SO GETTING A NEG. COMMENT LIKE THAT PLEASE!!!!!!!  I MEAN ALL OF U KNOW A 4 YEAR OLD WANT'S TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING ASKING ABOUT EVERYTHING!

[deleted account]

Quoting Gentry:

If what your saying makes you feel better.... Do what you want just sounds like to me that maybe you should change alot of things so that maybe they won't be asking questions like that. Thats just crazy. I want to recommend some shows for ya. How about dora, Mickey mouse clubhouse, winnie the pooh, You are choosing to be asked questions if you as they're mother don't care what they listen to or see. And as far as my child being knocked up at 16 that will be my problem. But im choosing not to talk with her about sex because for christ sake she doesn't even wear make up. Sometimes it blows my mind that parents forget that we are parents not friends. My child is honor roll all the way and i have helped my child set her own goals.


Hello Gentry,



I respect that you feel very strongly about this subject and admire that your tactics work for your child. My daughter is also only allowed to watch Dora and a couple of very carefully selected children's TV shows (for the under 5s).



Somehow, though, she is still very aware of other things and asks questions. I encourage her openess and answer the questions she asks appropriately - giving no more and no less information than required for the question and her age.



She is inquisitive and normal - she wants to know. Although TV, internet and the like do influence a child's exposure to certain topics, they are by no means exclusive. Just knowing that a woman is having a baby, or suddenly seeing a baby, is enough to prompt many of the questions (to name but one example).



I commend you being strict on what your children are allowed to be exposed to.



Kirsten

[deleted account]

I explained in full detail at the age of nine. The Professionals say you should answer the questions as they come up truthfully. Thank you Darla Farley

Jennifer - posted on 10/22/2009

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It depends on old they are. i believe in answering their questions honestly but keep it age based. I talk to my 9 yr old different than my 14 yr old. Unfornutely they are learning about it way too young and talking about it with friends. My teen knows more than I have taught her!!

[deleted account]

If she gets too curious about it just be open and honest about it. They watch a movie about puberty in the 4th grade.

Anna - posted on 10/22/2009

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I think that even at 2 you can talk to your kids about the facts of life. you shouldn't however go in to details. keep it simple for them only answer questions they ask and don't over explain. as they age they will ask more detailed question. wait for them and doin't let them feel scared to ask. My oldest started asking question at 4 and he still doesn't know everything but he does come to me when he want to know something. I just left it all simple. If he asks why do people have sex I say.. because they are married and love each other. simple. If he ask how do they have sex, I say....they touch each other the way only a husband and wife should touch each other. he normally will leave it alone until later to ask for details. That's when I explain our "parts" and that God gave them for that. He has ask why do we have sex and that was easy...because we want you. Just be honest and simple. it helped me.

Katy - posted on 10/22/2009

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Quoting Gentry:



Quoting Jamie:

My daughter is 4 and is constantly questioning me...I really don't know how to go about telling her.





Something is wrong in your household if at the age of 4 she is asking you about sex.
Not trying to be judgemental but something is really wrong with this.






Gentry,



Simply saying "Not to be judgemental" doesn't excuse you from being judgemental, which is exactly what you were by saying that something in their house was wrong. I looked at your profile, you have more then one child, didn't any of your older children ever ask how a baby got in your belly? Did you tell them that the stork brought it? Or that there was somthing wrong with them for asking? Children ask questions it's human nature to be inquizative. It only takes hearing a new word one time for a child to ask their parents about it. It doesn't mean that the child is in a bad, or irresponsible home, or that something is wrong. In my opinion it is so much more risky to not teach your children about sex! What if someone tries to touch them? They don't know it's wrong if you haven't talked to them about the parts of their body that are private and that conversation alone brings up questions as to way they are private. There are children younger then 11 who have already gotten pregnant becasue no one took the time to sit down with them to talk about sex becasue they weren't thought to be old enough. Times have changed and people have changed and you have to give your children knowledge about things so that they can be protected, so that they have some power of protecting themselves.

Katy - posted on 10/22/2009

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I have a 6 year old daughter and I have already begun talking to her about sex. Start simple like something along the lines of sex is how grown ups make babies. That explains it and stresses two very important points. GROWN UPS have sex, not children or teenagers, and that it is done to have babies, not for fun. If she continues to question then continue to give little bits of inofmation unlit she is satisfied. She doesn't want everything, nor can she handle it all at once. She just wants a question answered. If she goes on to ask how the grown ups make the babies, you could say something as easy as God helps them (if you believe in God that is, I do not assume to know your religous beliefs). I guess I started paving for the sex talk right from the start because I always taught my daughter the correct names for the genitalia. As early as she could talk she knew that boys had a penis and testicles and that girls had a vagina. It also helped that she is very curious about the body and took an interest in one of my anatomy picture books. When she was no longer satisfied with the general answers she asked more specifics and I was honest with her about all the details except the act itself. I told her that a man has sperm and a woman has an egg and sex means that they get put together and thats what makes the baby. Be honest, start small, and remember most importantly that she will learn about sex from someone and you want that someone to be you so that you can make sure she gets the right information. You don't want her as a teenager to think that oral sex is not sex or that having sex in a pool means that you can't get pregnant or any of those crazy things that girls are told and then end up pregnant or with some horrible STD. Also there are lots of good childrens books you can get from libraries or resources you can find on-line to help coach you through those conversations.

Windie - posted on 10/22/2009

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It's so obivious, we probably never got the sex talk growing up and if you did, what to you remember? Were you shy? oooh gross mom/dad. Talk only when they ask. They will take only a few feeds from your conversation, but don't get all medical and crap, kids today are so well informed with normal sex words.... if they don't ask by the time you see issues or changes happening, then bring it up, it's good to be open, we want them to be open with us....

Laura - posted on 10/22/2009

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My husband and I monitor what we let our five year old daughter watch on tv as well. As you know, even Disney shows can be a little "adult" with teen aged characters participating in dating and the like. The right age is not a number but a level of maturity. Don't wait for her to ask, instead begin to slowly work your way up to the "sex" question. Point out what is obvious to you but may not be so obvious to her in the tv shows she watches. "It's nice how those parents got married before they had their baby, isn't it?" or "Do you think it was right of the girl to say no to her boyfriend.?" Remember, she's probably just as scared of the subject as you are and has likely alredy been hearing about the topic from her friends for a while now. It is more important that she get the right facts from you (even if you stumble and tremble a little) then she get the wrong ones from others. Be strong, Mom. You're doing a good job.

Jana - posted on 10/22/2009

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only discuss what she needs to know. you can leave the discussion open for questions, but use your spiritual and moral knowledge to guide her. remember, if you dont talk to her about it, someone else will. she trusts you, so be honest and encourage good values to start with.

Christine - posted on 10/22/2009

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My daughter is 7 and has asked questions about sex. She heard the word at school... in second grade! When she reacted to the word like it was something gross, I remained calm and told her that it was not gross. I told her that it was something that a husband and wife do when they love each other very much and that sex is what makes babies. I've also talked with her in detail about a woman's menstrual cycle. She knows that a woman bleeds once a month and that this is the way a woman's body is preparing for when it becomes pregnant. I've been very frank and technical with her about all of this.



Gentry - with regard to a four year old asking questions I agree that if the four year old is using the word "sex," then you've got to wonder where they heard it. However, I would never say that "there's something wrong" in someone's household because the child used that word. Also, it's very normal for a four year old to ask questions about the body and where babies come from; especially if mommy is/has been pregnant.



Jamie - I don't know exactly what your four year old is saying but if he/she is saying things that are a bit graphic and you can't figure out where he/she got it from, please bring them to a doctor for an exam. Not to be scary, but a child that is talking about things of this nature (not just the normal curiosity stuff, though) at such a young age could have been victim to some sort of sexual abuse.

Melissa - posted on 10/22/2009

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I would tell her she is gettin to the age where she will start noticing boys and not to mention startin her period I had the talk wit my daughter just bout that age and she is now 12 and just started her period so she already new wat was comin and all. At school there are kids in Primary that use such words so i'm sure she hears it now. She may not get it at first but it will come then she will understand we had the talk to all 4 of our oldest ones bout that age.

Gentry - posted on 10/22/2009

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If what your saying makes you feel better.... Do what you want just sounds like to me that maybe you should change alot of things so that maybe they won't be asking questions like that. Thats just crazy. I want to recommend some shows for ya. How about dora, Mickey mouse clubhouse, winnie the pooh, You are choosing to be asked questions if you as they're mother don't care what they listen to or see. And as far as my child being knocked up at 16 that will be my problem. But im choosing not to talk with her about sex because for christ sake she doesn't even wear make up. Sometimes it blows my mind that parents forget that we are parents not friends. My child is honor roll all the way and i have helped my child set her own goals.

Stacie - posted on 10/22/2009

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Yes I have had the same issue,(mine is 11 and still believes in Santa), she is sweet and innocent always trying to help out with the other kids, and does very well in school. Her and I are very close. Last year she came home from school with her sample maxi pads pack and two of her friends have already had their monthlys. We sat down together and we discussed what happens to a girl when she starts to mature. I referenced her to a beautiful flower. She was very happy with this analogy. I let her ask questions and gave her the best answers I could without being too explicit. When the conversation was finished she seemed very pleased that I could sit down and be honest and trust her with this special information. She will be 12 in May and she carries a small purse in her book bag with her sample pack in it just in case....I hope this info helps!!!!!

Mimi - posted on 10/21/2009

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I am of the belief that around 6 or 7 (depending on questions and maturity), children should be told in increments about the birds and the bees. Tell an abbreviated version, then in about 2 years expound on that, and two years later, tell more... so on and so forth. That way they know enough to have an age-appropriate understanding and when you do finally sit down and go into a lot of detail, you have built up to it and are a bit more comfortable, the child won't be completely in the dark about what your talking about, and their questions won't stem from the potty mouth kid who blurts inappropriate gossip. Your kid knows more than they let on and if you treat them right, they will be the one who can dismiss that potty mouth because they know better! :)

[deleted account]

Quoting Sandi:



Quoting Gentry:




Quoting Jamie:

My daughter is 4 and is constantly questioning me...I really don't know how to go about telling her.







Something is wrong in your household if at the age of 4 she is asking you about sex.
Not trying to be judgemental but something is really wrong with this.










That is a really shitty thing to say!  When my kids were three they were asking me stuff because I was pregnant.  They saw me changing a little boy's diaper (what's THAT?) They would hear something on TV or on the radio (what's making love?  why is everyone laughing about what he said?).  They would hear comments from their older cousins.  They would listen in on conversations when they were supposed to be asleep.  Not trying to be judgemental my ass.  Get the beam out of your own eye before you start picking at the speck in someone elses!  Jamie, your kid is normal!!!  Gentry is . . . well, I guess it's not polite to call someone a moron - might be told their's something wrong in my household!



 



  Hmm.  I think if your kid is hearing stuff like that on the radio, its time to change the channel. Put in a CD or turn to a childrens station like disney radio (they play pop music). In my car, we talk instead of radio, I usually play games like "stump me" where I ask math and spelling questions. They think its fun, but they are learning. Sometimes we talk about people and events. best of luck. 



 





 

[deleted account]

Why let her watch the teen shows? American media is well known for pushing the limits and getting our kids to grow up too fast. I dont let my kids watch those evening programs on kids channels... I pop in a video instead... or let them play on approved websites. Of course, she'll hear it in school eventually, so you will have to address it at some point. I suggest going to the library and getting an age-appropriate book. My daughter is 9, and I know I have to deal with this soon. My worry is that after I tell her, she will share it with her younger sister -- who definately isnt ready. Its so hard, isnt it!?

Melissa - posted on 10/21/2009

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I have an 11 year old, and they have taught sex-ed for the last 2 years through the school. After her first class, I just sat down with her and asked her if she had any questions. The conversation just went from there.

Jennifer - posted on 10/21/2009

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My daughter is also 10 and I have already told her EVERYTHING...I think the sooner she hears it from you the better prepared she will be for life. I don't feel like any age is to early...I personally want my daughter to hear things from me and not her friends or TV where it can be glamourized in a way that would be inappropriate...That's just my thought on things....good luck to whatever you decide!!!

Magaly - posted on 10/21/2009

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my oldest son is 8 and i have talked to him about this issue.. just be gentle about it.. i rather my boys hear it from me then at school.. and now a days kids are starting to have sex young so its best to start talking to them young as well.

Jennifer - posted on 10/21/2009

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I just got back from the Dr with my 9 year old daughter and was told she just entered puberty!! I started talking to my daughter around 5 with small things she would understand and have grown the conversations over the years. She is very comfortable with the topics now and asks me questions whenever she has them. I try hard to answer her questions honestly and in a way she will understand and when it calls for biblical backing to add it in. We have had the sex talk, menstrual cycles, kissing, boyfriends, drugs. They are ready when they start asking questions.

Rachel - posted on 10/21/2009

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I have been honest when my kids ask a specific question, but I don't get too graphic or detailed. General answers are fine. When my oldest turned 10 I talked to her privately about how her body will be going through changes and we discussed those changes. When she turned 11 I decided to buy supplies for her and let her know how to use and dispose of these pads. About 2 months later she had her first period. She was prepared and she knew what was going to happen so she wasn't scarred when it came.



It's great to have an open window of conversation about life, changes/horomones, and sex. Having these conversations early is good to prepare your children and they feel that they can come to you for anything. Talking about sex should be discussed before kids at school distort the truth about sex. Think about how you plan on delivering the "sex speech" and anticipate what kind of questions you may be asked so you are prepared to answer it in a way that makes you both feel comfortable. Good Luck!

Kristin - posted on 10/21/2009

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Okay I am a progressive mom and have been talking with my daughter since she was little about the differences between boys and girls since she was about 5. She has a lot of male cousins so she was at some point going to notice the differences in their bodies. She also has a friend who is 10 now and my daughter is almost 9. I have had the talk with both of them about the changes their bodies are going through and the changes that they will soon face. (Growing breasts, finding hair where there wasn't any before, what to do if they start menstruating) Both were a little shy about it, but I felt they needed to be prepared for this sometimes scary change into womanhood. I also felt that since the 10 year old was entering 5th grade this year and that more and more kids seem to be starting sexual experiences earlier in life that I needed to prepare her for what might happen. First after making sure she understood what her body was going through I explained how the inside of her body worked. I explained about the uterus and ovaries and fallopian tubes. I explained what the inside of a boys body also had. In my opinion most children have seen at least one person of the opposite sex naked (whether it be a new born getting changed or walking in on daddy getting out of the shower so they can go potty). I explained that boys produced sperm and they were needed to help create a baby. I explained that in order for a baby to be made that both a boy and girl needed to love one another first and foremost. Then I explained about sex and how the sperm meets the egg and so on. I also explained that NO ONE had the right to touch her body or ask them to touch theirs at this age unless it was a doctor with her parents permission or by her parents if she was having a problem down there. I explained that if a boy pressured her to touch him in anyway on his privates with any part of her body was WRONG and that she should never be afraid to tell an adult that this happened. I also told her that if any MALE her age or even older pressured her or forced her to touch them or forced her to allow them to touch her that she didn't need to be afraid to tell a teacher, a parent, or the responsible adult she was with. I have always been an advocate to keep children from any type of sexual abuse or pressure to have sexual encounters before they were ready. I also explained to her that unless she was willing and ready to accept the possibility of getting pregnant that she should wait to have sex. I didn't try and force her to promise to wait until marriage, but I did tell her that it would be a good idea to try and wait. Sex can often be confusing and complicated when the only people they hear about it from are kids their own age or even worse from the schools who often don't give all the facts or the morals we as parents want to instill in our kids.

Juanita - posted on 10/21/2009

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NOW ! My oldest daughter is going on 10 I have spoken to her about Sex Ed since she was 2 and in graphic detail since she was 8 due to her asking Q's ! I dont want her prego before she out of College and Happily Married ! Doers she have an Open minded Dad ? If so she NEEDS his view point Trust Me ! This helps ALOT ......

Good Luck,Remember 2 BREATH ~ Juanita R. Georgia

Melanie - posted on 10/21/2009

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My son was 8 when I gave him the talk in a very clinical manner. I emphasized that it was only for grown-ups who love each other and are married. Kids are so impressionable and are easily influenced from an early age. "Privates" should remain private and nudity is a no-no. Sex is an awkward subject, but rather explain it yourself than letting them get exposed to myths with their friends.

JUDY - posted on 10/21/2009

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Oh my gosh yes! My son was about the same age when the first Transformer movie came out. I had not seen it, but allowed him to watch it one night when he was over at his grandmothers, knowing, that if she began to hear alot of language and see content, she would switch it off. That night the phone rang and it was my mom! She was upset because their was a part in the movie that spoke about masterbating! And he wanted to know what it meant! Needless to say, we came home, His stepfather and I sat down and talked to him about sex at an age appropriate level. I am glad that I did, because later on, I met some of his friends from school, and I would not have to wanted to hear what their version would have sounded like! Plus, I am a christian, and with that talk I also talked to him about what God expects out of him as well. Good Luck

Emilie - posted on 10/21/2009

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I guess it depends on the child, my kids are both to young yet to learn. I have a cousin who started her first period when she was 9 years old. Her mom was in the hospital from a heart attack, her brother is 6 years older and she had no sisters, so her dad had the talk with her because she didn't know why she was bleeding or anything about a period. So her dad talked to her then took her shopping for female products. I plan on talking to my children when I feel like they are old enough, I don't really have a set age in mind.

Carlyn - posted on 10/21/2009

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Children can start understanding the basics at a very young age. It is wise to start educating her about her "private parts" early so that she not only has an understanding of how her body works but that it is hers and nobody is allowed access to it without her permission. At age 10, she is definitely old enough to handle the conversation and from my point of view, the sooner the better! If she doesn't learn about it from you, she will learn about it from friends and the media - which will give her a dramatically skewed and flawed understanding, at best! There are some really great books out there - see what you can find and let us know how it goes!

Tricia - posted on 10/21/2009

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I couldn't agree with you more Sandi! And, I don't exactly understand what believing in Santa has to do with finding out the facts of life, our bodies and that ever-so-taboo word... SEX! My kids have been conversing with me (not continually, you understand, just once in a while when they have a question! lol or when I question them!) for about 4 or 5 years now and they BOTH still believe in Santa Claus! Believe me, all innocence is NOT lost just because our children find out the truth that we want to so desperately hide from them! (And when I say "we" I think you can discern who I am talking about! ;) )
Good post, good info! Cheers!

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