What do you tell your 8 year old son if he wants to know about sex?

Naudeen - posted on 07/10/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I am really getting uncomfortable with my son's questions. He is almost 9 and wanted to know what is sex. I told him briefly that it is when two people, like Mom and Dad show one another how much they love each other. He was happy with that, but I personally think that maybe it is time to tell him about his own developing body on his level of course.

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Lora - posted on 09/01/2011

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Go to christianbook.com and get the book called why boys and girls are different it is the first of 5 books and they go through all the ages and stages. They have the whole set for boys and girls. My daughter is 8 and we are going to have our little talk Saturday. I plan on makeing a day of it Getting our nails done, going out to lunch and answering questions throuout the day. If your unsure how to start the conversation, just start by asking him what questions do you have about sex and your changing body? And just go from there. It seems so daunting and embarassing but if you think about it , it dosen't need to be. Your just telling them what happoned to you and what will happen to them. It's as natural as it gets. And wouldn't you rather it come from you than another kid who may or may not know what there talking about. Also if your child is embarrassed to ask you their questions bring along a note pad and a pencil and let him/her write down their questions or concerns and you can answer them that way. Hope this helps!

[deleted account]

I told my daughter whose is now 9 when she was 8. Be prepared for some - ewws, that's gross, yuck....etcc comments, lol. But at least they get the facts from you and not some kid at school, call everything by its name - no silly names. I told my daughter the details, she already knew about the sperm and egg and babies, so now I just had to explain how the sperm got to the egg. I also explained that she should wait for someone special to do it with and to use protection, I told her all about STD's, pregnancy and even some of the lines boys might give her to get her to have sex early. I also told her that it was a private thing - not to go to school bragging about what she had learned - I beleive it is up to each childs parent to decide when their child learns about sex, I don't want my child teaching them. She was very mature about it all, I was soooo nervous about the whole conversation and what I should and should not say yet...but after watching The Doctors show the OB/GYN said 8 is the perfect age for girls to learn about puberty and sex - she said to tell them everything...so I did, it went so much smoother than I had ever imagined, so I won't be nervous when it comes to my younger two girls. They will learn about it eventually in school - that's where I learned , I wish my mom would have been the one to tell me.

Antoinette - posted on 07/15/2009

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Oh yes and tho we all want "love" to be the right answer i disagree with saying its when ppl show their love. I used to work in a daycare and there was an issue with a lil boy (age4-5) kissing everyone. Come to find out he was doing because he LOVED his friends and when he asked mom why she kissed her boyfriend she explained because that what ppl do to show they love each other.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 09/02/2011

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Don't worry, my older daughter's almost 7 and already started asking about where babies come from. I gave her the bare minimum. My husband and I have been explaining more to her slowly. She had to know exactly where the baby came out because I just had her sister in March and wanted to know the rest soon after. Including how. She knows the proper names for anotomy and so on.

Just answer what's asked. If your son asks about STDs, explain. If he wants to know about the reproductive system, have fun. My husband tried to tell my older daughter that me and him did a special dance and my daughter wanted to know what kind of dance

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Zaiddy Sandoval - posted on 01/24/2014

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Im a kid im asking how old you have to be because i hade sex when i was 6 and now im 9

Terri - posted on 09/04/2011

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There's a great book out there that tells you how to do this. I can't remember the name right now but I'm sure if you go to the bookstore they can direct you.

Tanya - posted on 07/17/2009

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I had two extremes - my 12 year old was not overly interested in sex discussions. But I find opportunities to talk about things here and there, and eventually he thinks of some questions. He did have sex ed at school - so he knows the basics. If he has questions - we take time out to talk things out.



My 6 yr old was very curious about sex and babies. SO - that was tough. I told him the bare basics that when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much...etc. But he has seen animals mating, so he said "Oh - is it like when dogs hump?" Awkward!!! I told him "sort of, but different because we are people, not dogs". He said "those dogs are married - right?" and then he ran off to jump on the trampoline.

Kids have a way of letting you know if you satisfied their curiosity. The younger they are chances are they will be satisfied with less technical information.

Meshell - posted on 07/17/2009

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wow! thanks,guys.although i'm not the one who asked the question,i too have an 8 year old(almost 9) i read all of your answers so that when it comes up,i'll be better prepared. thanks again.

Adele - posted on 07/17/2009

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my eldest was also 8 when she asked me, she was sat playing with her ponies so angelic and she said mama where do babies come from, now my policy has aleays been if they are old enough to ask they are old enough to get an honest answer ,( age appropriate of course) and it always helps to be prepared with a childrens book , i told my daughter everything but stumbled abit when she said but i saw papas thing in the bath and it wasnt hard it was all floppy...I NEARLY DIED!!! that was a bit of a conversation stopper, but after a deep breath, i quickley explained that it took care of its self. What i would say is i think since you have a son that maybe your husband could help with the explaining and just let your boy know he can always come and ask anything, oh and theres lots of age appropriate stuff online just tipe in telling kids about sex and youll find loads of pics and cartoons that help make it easier.. hope this helps x Adele from Holland ( origionally from england)

Sally - posted on 07/17/2009

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My 5yr old told me the other day that he knows what sex is: The mans buys the woman a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers and then they lie down together and have a little rest" Hmmmmmm

Answer the specific questions honestly-if the child is satisfied with your answer that's it for a while, if they want more info they will ask.

Chez - posted on 07/15/2009

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I was 9 when my parents pulled out the encylopedias about reproductive systems and explained to me the whole concept about sex, -pictures and all - I was mortified and promptly vomited afterwards.

So when I started having kids I swore that I would wait til I thought they were old enough to fully understand.

My sons father thou, told my eldest son about sex before I even knew my son was asking questions. It wouldn't of been so bad if Daddy actually knew what he was talking about!

I couldn't believe what his father had actually told him about the reproductive system. I think he was one of those males in Health Class who sat there giggling rather then listening.

It was hard going back in there and clearing up the false with the truth.

I plan to move in earlier with my next child.

Antoinette - posted on 07/15/2009

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I think his age is a fine age to start talking about his body and the changes its gonna make... The rule of thumb is dont go into detail until they ask... which i think is a great rule unless you think your child needs to know and hes not going to ask.

Cheri - posted on 07/15/2009

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There is a good book called "where did I come from" and is pretty good. I heard about it from that show "Talk sex with Sue Johannson". I have already had a talk about body parts and functions with my kids they are ages 6, 5, and 4 all boys. They wanted to know how do I pee and why I have breasts and Daddy doesn't and how did they come out of my tummy. I was kind of shocked to be asked this early but, I didn't want to lie either. I just told them straight out and the book helps to.

Jenna - posted on 07/10/2009

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Tell him straight up. Don't hide it, but don't get too graphic either. Be blunt and honest.



Around Christmas time 2007 my husband and I were taking our kids shopping. My daughter (almost 3 at the time) had to use the bathroom and it was crowded so I picked her up and carried her. The whole time she was grabbing and feeling on my breast. I had to tell her to stop 3 times before reaching the bathrooms.

She sat on the potty and asked me "Mom, what are those?" pointing to my chest. So I told her honestly, "Sweety, those are breasts. Every woman gets them." Then she asked me "Why don't I have breasts?" I told her honestly again, "Because you are too young. One day, when you get older, yours will get bigger." She exclaimed "WOW, I will have them too!!!" Ever since then, she hasn't needed to ask me anything else about it.



All children start asking these types of questions at different ages. And the more time goes by, the younger they are when they start asking questions like that. You cant be embarrassed by them and you have to make it seem like its any other question. My mother had 'The talk' with me when I was very young. I asked her at age 6. She told me in a round about way and it made me very mad. I got into all sorts of trouble at school because I was asking teachers and my classmates. I even asked a random stranger in the store. Finally she had to sit down and explain it again.



They are going to find out one way or another. Its best if your up front and honest with them at a young age. If he knows the word sex, its probably time to have 'The Talk' with him. If you feel uncomfortable, ask your husband to assist you, you can even make a doctor's appointment and have them help you.



Hope it works out well,

~Mady

[deleted account]

My daughter is 8 and all questions. This is totally the time to tell them. I talk to her in stages. She did ask about sex, and I told her that I wasn't ready to have that talk yet because I was embrassed, and that I would tell her later. She was okay with that too. But we have also talked about periods and body changes, because even though 8 seems young, there are already friends who are experiencing some (like needing deodorant and getting pimples). It is the right time to tell him though, because he's at an age where he'll listen to you and wants to know what you think about it. If you wait too long, he'll be more influenced by his peers viewpoints than yours. I also hope, that since my daughter and I do talk about body changes and relationships, that when she gets older she'll feel like she can come to me and I'll answer her the best I can, so that she isn't influenced by her friends in a negative way.

Vicki - posted on 07/10/2009

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A year ago, when my son was 8, I told him it was when two people in a relationship agree to touch each others privates. This satisfied him completely. No more questions. I too was a little taken aback by the question. My answer came out of nowhere. I didn't want to seem shaken, or to make him think it's wrong to ask me...I'd much rather he ask me. Also, I wanted him to have a truthful answer, but not more than he could handle. I haven't regretted my answer. Best Wishes to you.

Debbie - posted on 07/10/2009

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I know 9 seems young, but you might want to go ahead. My daughter, who is now 11, was told by a classmate what sex was at 9. I was shocked! I'm very glad that she felt as though she could come to me. It was a very uncomfortable conversation but I think it is good to let your children know they can talk to you. The only thing I would suggest is after you "talk" make sure he knows that it is not a conversation he should repeat to his friends. I forgot to do this and my daughter went and told a friend, thank goodness the mom and I are friends and she was understanding, but it could have been bad.

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