what to do when my kids smart mouth me?

Janice - posted on 07/30/2012

i on the other hand have a little bit older girl who is 11 and i have tried it all from grounding, soap, timeouts, i've even stripped her room down to a bed and a dresser and nothing works. i am upstairs now balling my eyes out . my kids are my life and it hurts when i have to punish them. she seems like she is just very unhappy for no reason at all everyday from the time she wakes up. we also have a 5 year old son who is the most happy go lucky no back talk anything just a sweet heart they have been raised the same way in the same house i just dont get it we have a great life what do i do please help me im dying inside

Brenda - posted on 07/24/2011

Just be careful if you use liquid soap in the mouth. There was a four year old boy near my old house who died from this. He had bubbles coming out of everywhere. Of course, the dad said he only used a little bit of soap but who knows. I would just be super careful if you are going to try this.

Kat - posted on 07/23/2011

I have two items of interest for you. When I was younger and would "sass" or be a smart mouth to my mother, I didn't realize what I was doing. I remember being 5 or 6 or 7 and being punished for something that I had thought was perfectly acceptable to say. I think you're doing a great job by explaining to them that their words hurt and are unappreciated. What turned me around was soap in the mouth: whatever we had on hand (always a bar) and a swipe across the tongue. Worked like a charm on me...

Cassie - posted on 08/17/2010

make them write sentences after a few times they'll start think otherwise and the benefit ther'll have good hand writing-thats what we do when our 7 year gets mouthy or does something she knows shes not suppose to-or theres the oooollllddddd fashion way some good old soap

Angela - posted on 08/17/2010

Same here @ Carmel. My son doesnt do it to anyone else but ME.

Carmel - posted on 05/23/2010

I am having that problem with my 5 year old and he only talks back to me. Not dad, grandma or auntie and I have been labled mean fussy mom. What to do!!! That hurts.

Gay - posted on 04/20/2010

Words like "This behavior is unacceptable" help. Take away the "you". Ask the child what he/she hears other kids say, mouthing off to teachers, etc. What reaction is your child looking for? Understanding? To make you go away (parents)? Why does he/she do it? Attention? A meeting with the teacher and your child there with both parents is also effective...because this behavior might be happening or might be looming to happen at school. Another adult besides the parents or teacher is good, too...an adult they like and admire...a friend's parent, perhaps. A coach. Just a few suggestions.

Lisa - posted on 04/20/2010

i have the same problem my 5 year old always talks back to me. i dont buy her sweets and threat that she wont be staying in her grannys or a friends if she keeps it up but dosent stay like that for long lol

Lynsey - posted on 04/20/2010

Hi, I think the main problem here is suitable role modles for children . I too have a dislike for shows like "Hannah Montana" , but my 8 year old loves it and so do all of her friends . Most of these shows focus on how they look and who they fancy and yes at the end there is a moral to be learnt but what child remembers that part ? I hate the fact that my daughter friends and peers at school have more influence than I do .

Angela - posted on 04/19/2010

I have the same problem.Drives me insane! *grr*

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2010

We had the same problem with our 7 year old daughter. We tried every thing we could think of. The first think that worked really well was we took her to the store and had her pick out the kind of soap that she would have put in her mouth when she talked back. She had to use the soap one time and we haven't had any real issues since then. The other thing that worked is that we will take tv away for an hour or a whole day (depends on how mouthy she gets). We've found that when she watched shows like Hannah Montana or I Carli she seems to get really mouthy.

Ashley - posted on 04/15/2010

Im going to have to try the vinegar my 5 yr old step-son has a smart little mouth on him and we've used soap but the little smarty looks at us and laughs then asks for more

Brandi - posted on 04/15/2010

Good for you!!! We have a daycare in our town that uses the vinegar (with parents permission) for children who curse. I tried it on my 7 year old who kept saying dirty words and it worked. Besides you only use a little not a cup full!

Angela - posted on 04/11/2010

Ah, I totally forgot about the soap option. I to have been having major issues with my 6 year old mouthing off. Its getting really out of hand. I will go to the soap thing. Thanks!

Robin - posted on 09/23/2009

I have learned with my 10 yr old that if I add more time to her punishment each time she smarts off, she begins to think about her actions. The first time will get her 10 minutes in her room, and she stays the full time, the second occurance gets her 15 minutes in her room. Believe me when it gets up to about 45 minutes, they get tired of smarting off. The only way any kind of punishment will work, is if the parents do not back down from the child, or say they will do something, but don't, parents who do that give their children the impression that they will not do what they say, and kids will eventually lose respect for their parents and smart mouth them.

Debbie - posted on 09/23/2009

Sorry, Melanie, that was not meant as a personal attack on you, it just wasn't worded very well. I was merely stating my opinion amongst giving a little bit of advice, not telling you that you were wrong. I stated that I personally would never do that but as I said before that is just my opinion - we are all entitled to one. The fact that far more terrible things are done to children can't really be used as justification to any other act against them either, however mild you perceive it to be.

Carrie - posted on 09/23/2009

I agree with some of the other reply's my daughter is 7 now and she has grown out of some of her smart mouth, but I have used the soap in the mouth and it helped a lot! Now all I have to do is ask " Do you want some soap in you'r mouth"? She stops right then!

Melanie - posted on 09/23/2009

I really don't appreciate being told "shame on you" for putting a dab of vinegar on my son's tongue to stop smart mouthing. I was commenting to another mom who asked for suggestions...not to be told that I am wrong. There are FAR more terrible things happening to our children out there than vinegar and soap. Soap was used on me when I was a child and I'm still around. I think that we should stick to giving advice to the other moms rather than "shaming" other ones.

Diana - posted on 09/23/2009

My son is almost 10 and i have these problems with him. when he's rude he's sent to his room for 10 minutes to think about what he's done. His Play Station time is also reduced if he keeps mucking up. Still having probs but does seem to be starting to work

Debbie - posted on 09/22/2009

OMG! I can't believe some of you are actually putting soap and vinegar in your children's mouth - in my opinion that is tantamount to child abuse! My mother threatened to 'wash my mouth out' when I was younger but never did - maybe the threat was enough back then, can't really remember as it was so long ago. Whenever my 10 year old starts the back chat he just gets firmly put in his place and privileges taken away. Has worked so far but if it ever stopped working I would have to rethink the punishment. However I would NEVER put soap in his mouth. That is just dreadful! There are enough things that he would not like taken away from him without resorting to that.

Stephanie - posted on 09/22/2009

My friend gave me the same advice about soap except it was Mickey Mouse soap. They loved Mickey so much she wanted see how much they loved him when they mouthed off and had to taste him. I tried it and it worked I guess I need to get the bar back out cause the mouth is starting again.

Jenn - posted on 09/22/2009

I wish i could help, i have the same issue!! it is soooo exhausting too. all i can tell ya, is lately i told my 6 yr old girl (who thinks she's 15) that it is going to get to the point where she has no friends, others parents are not going to let thier child pick up your mouth and let you play with them anymore. And that seems to help, at the time :) if you figure anything out please let me know :) GOOD LUCK!!

Melanie - posted on 09/21/2009

Depending on the age, I use vinegar on the tongue. My 5 yr. old hates it and it doesn't hurt (like hot sauce) and nothing bad will come from it. I know it is very disgusting, though.

Pennie - posted on 09/21/2009

I have my kids either write sentences or write definitions to words like "respect". It has worked really well for me

AMANDA - posted on 09/21/2009

This seems to be a wide- spread problem!! LOL... My 10 yr old daughter is the same way!! UGH!! I have tried everything, and still she continues to behave this way. I feel for you! I know what you are going through.

Stephanie - posted on 09/21/2009

My 7 year old is having major issues at school and at home because she has ODD and ADHD. Recently her mouth has started running non stop and I've threatened soap but haven't actually done it yet. I guess I'm waiting until the right moment but I think that time has come. Yes it seems cruel but kids are kids and they need to realize that they cannot walk all over us.

Jaimie - posted on 09/20/2009

Dish soap, or hot sauce!!! sound mean but my mom did that to me and i do it to my 5 year old and he caught on real quick!!!

Dana - posted on 09/20/2009

Well it depends on the age... when my 12 y/o was around two to five she would sometimes forget herself and who she was talking to. Old fashioned remedy... ivory liquid soap on your finger wiped off on her bottom teeth. It sounds mean, but you don't use alot. Ivory won't hurt them but liquid soap is soooo hard to get off the teeth.

Theresa - posted on 09/20/2009

One of the ways is to not respond. I know that seems hard. Kids like to get a rise out of you. When they see it is not effective on you anymore they will stop. Let them know ahead of time that if they are disrespectful to you then you will not put up with their behavior and dont respond, and stick to the original boundaries like taking away privledges(t.v, shortened play time etc) When I have to tell my daughter to go to her room when she acts up and think about what she did, if she starts in with me I tell her I can add another 5 minutes on top of it if that time wasnt enough. I go in small inrements. They need to know there are consequences to their actions. yet they need to know that losing their temper gets them nowhere.