When do I start telling them about the birds and bees?

Michelle - posted on 10/05/2012

Hi Tammy,



I'm an adolescent life coach. Research indicates that when parents frequently talk with their children and teens about sex, love and relationships, that teens make better choice and decisions when it comes to sex. They are more likely to delay engaging in sexual activity and when they do, they are more likely to use condoms and birth control. Ok, now that that's out of the way, it's important to have age appropriate conversations with your son and daughter. Avoid a talk and make conversations an ongoing dialogue. Remember who your audience is and keep it short. I'm offering my audio mp3 file for download from my website at no charge for through Oct. 5th. If you'd like to download it, please visit www.AdjustedPerspectives.com and click on the audio download. Upon check out, please enter the code CircleofMoms10 I hope you enjoy it! Thanks - Michelle

Joan - posted on 10/03/2012

I have an 11 year old son, and he is just not interested in the whole sex talk. He asked me a question one day about a word that had to do with sex when I told him that it had to do with sex he said he didnt want to know yet. But, my sister said that she was told that her son a year older should be told. I'm not sure what to do. Do I force him to listen or do I wait awhile? Totally confused!

Krissy - posted on 02/12/2011

we strive to protect our kids innocence as long as we can, but base it on the need of the child. I mean, we home school, so at least there's less opportunity for other kids to give them snippets, but... they have friends so we aren't naive..

I honestly would start out talking about body changes and how they are becoming adults.. Just little things... like my daughter just turned 9, too... and I started my period at 9. You bet I told her all about having her period already. She also knows the word sex and that it's what causes pregnancy... she has a basic idea, and we don't hide it if she asks. But we've also taught her what the bible says about it, too. That's about it.

My 6 yr old boy... well he went through a faze where he was really touching himself and he and a girl I babysat needed REALLY watched for a while... but we just told him the same things pretty much... that our privates were made for when we were older that we could enjoy our husband or wife's body and that it was how God designed babies to be made. That's part of the reason it was for grown ups. Over time, we had a few small questions, and we've answered them simply and scientifically.

Yadira - posted on 02/11/2011

I am a mother of 3 boys (15, 13 and 9 years old) and 1 girl (3 year old) and my advice is that everybody is different and we should talk with them individually cause you need to explain them in a diferent way to each one. I am very lucky that I found a book in my hometown librery that told me what to say to each one of my children by age.

Shana - posted on 02/10/2011

I have 4 sons aged 11,8,6 and 3 and due with a daughter in May. My husband and I have always taken the approach that to be honest with the boys but bordering on a "scientific" approach. My eldest came home (when he was 8 or 9) and said (at the dinner table) "My friendnso-n-so, said you need sperm to make a baby - what its it" we used this to open family discussion on how babies are made...we found that the kids only took in as much as they where intrested in

I highly recommend "where did I come from" and doing the talk together as a family - to show that while its very adult, there is nothing to be ashamed off in talkin to parents about it...especially helpful now that my eldest son has hit puberty and has questions about his changing body!!

Teresa - posted on 02/10/2011

I bought my girls the American Girl book The Care and Keeping Of You... for girls when they were 7 and we read it together. Then I bought them Where Do Babies Come From? and Where Did I Come From? when they were 8 and we've gone through those. They are 9 now and just barely starting to develop. They know about the changes already, so it's quite helpful.

I'm going to need to do a LOT more sex ed preparation soon though cuz they will be starting middle school when they are 10.5 and kids in the sixth grade are doing drugs and having sex. Mommy is NOT ready for my kids to grow up, but I've got to prepare them the best that I can so they are able to make the best decisions they can.

I strongly stress abstinence education, but they need to know it ALL.

Good luck! Oh, they weren't asking, but I need to be proactive here.