When is too old for belief in tooth fairy, Santa & all the others?

[deleted account] ( 37 moms have responded )

My son,11, going to be 12 in March, still believes in the tooth fairy & everything else. I love that he is still so full of belief. Some kids are made to grow up way to fast. But, going on 12 now so where do you draw the line. Or should I say when & how do you break the truth? We've never lied to him about any of it being real or fake because bless him he's never asked. Thanks.

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Kim - posted on 12/02/2010

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Hi, I have three children and my eldest is nearly 13yrs. I haven't told him there isn't a toothfairy or Santa, as far as my kids are concerned the spirit of christmas is Santa and all parents are santa's helpers. It is pretty much the same thing with the toothfairy. I don't feel the need to actually come out and tell him, I think he is getting to the age where he is figuring it out for himself but doesn't want to come out and actually say anything. I will continue on until they say otherwise :-) Hope it helps.

Julie - posted on 11/28/2010

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my kids 9 and 4 still believe in the tooth fairy and Santa, the easter bunny all those fantasy creatures we learn about, I will never come out and tell them they are not real, because they need something to believe in and come to terms with on their own and when they can deal with it, all kids aren't the same. Point being I still believe in the tooth fairy , santa and others and I'm 36..my beliefs have matured with me now its more the spirit than the caracter. as for the tooth fairy who thinks about her when there are no more teeth to lose??? As parents we don't know when our kids are ready to hear this kind of news(it is like a death if you really think about it, the kids grieve the loss) they eventually figure it out and give it new meaning or put it aside 'till they have kids of their own.

Jessica - posted on 11/18/2010

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My daughter is 11 (going to be 12 in December) she doesn't believe anymore, but she figured it out on her own. I think he will too when he's ready.

Kat - posted on 11/23/2010

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Now would be a good time to talk about the Spirit of Christmas how Santa Claus is really caring people who want to share the joy of Jesus birth. You might suggest that he be Santa to a friend or needy family this year and share in the joy that "Santa" brings to others.

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DON'T!! let him enjoy the magic.

my kids (9,7 and 4) still believe. Heck I still believe ( I know its not true, but I still believe) its all part of the magic of the season.

My brother and I figured it out on our own around 9 and 10, but we never said anything. They knew we knew but just continue. we each still get a 'santa bag' for Christmas from my mom.

Kids grow up way too fast these days, just let him enjoy it.

Karen - posted on 12/02/2010

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I remember my middle brother couldn't bear the fact that my younger sister was starting not to believe at that age (it meant that he was growing up, too, he was 17 or 18 and didn't want the innocence to be lost), so one Valentine's Day he conspired to extend it a little longer. He went around the house having hearts appear right after she would leave the room. The hearts were from Cupid. Well, because it was a small house my sister figured it must have been magic for her not to see it being done. The game went on for a good hour, however the desired result was that she still believed in "magic" which meant that she stll believed in the magic of Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc., at least for another year. It was really sweet and we still talk about it to this day.

Cheri Zobel - posted on 12/02/2010

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You may not have to worry so much about friends at school breaking the news either. Friends told my 11 yo girl there was no Santa and she argued the point with them. Apparently Santa once left gifts while we were out of town and one was a Wii which her parents would never buy for her...rofl Almost didn't make it out of the room when she told me the story.

Sherri - posted on 12/02/2010

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Karen there are sooo many kids that still believe at 12. As I posted earlier when I finally told my son at 12 he was crushed and gave me a million reasons why he was real!! He said to me I wish you had never told me. Both of my older two believed until they were 12. They didn't believe in the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy that long but Santa they most certainly did.

Karen - posted on 12/02/2010

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I can't believe he still believes. He's just smart enough to make you believe he does so that he can still reap the rewards.

Janina - posted on 12/02/2010

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Be gratefull he still believes!
My daughter (11) still believes. Or, I think she knows, there is no Tooth Fairy/Santa, but she desperately wants to believe, so we let her!!!!
Enjoy his innocence!!!

Gina - posted on 12/01/2010

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Sylvia, I think talking to the 10 year old (with mom's permission) about how believing in those things make holidays special for little ones and that he could help you make it special for his little cousin. If you come at him in a really positive way he will probably be more responsive.

Mary - posted on 12/01/2010

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Well they do run out of baby teeth, so how about do what I do and say, do you want to believe? Cause what happens if you don't!

Sylvia - posted on 12/01/2010

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Thanks Carla that is exactly what I wanted to do I just was not certain it was appropriate but now that you've suggested it I will do that :) thanks again

Carla - posted on 12/01/2010

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To Syliva below...I always just told my kids it's only real as long as you believe. Tell her the 10 year old obviously doesn't believe but it shouldn't stop her. Then I would have a chat with the 10 year old and mom!

Carla - posted on 12/01/2010

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Hi Jennifer, My son just turned 11 in August and also started his 1st year of middle school. Most of his friends have known the truth since 4th grade. My son really really believed in all these too and I never had the heart to tell him. His older sister (now 12) has known since she was 10. To be honest, I was afraid he would be brutally teased if he went to school talking about Santa so we finally sat him down and just told him. It was hard and he even argued with us why Santa WAS real! He finally accepted it though and we just assured him Santa, Easter Bunny, etc, etc, will still make their appearances! Good luck to you too!

Sylvia - posted on 12/01/2010

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My daughter is 6 and believes in the tooth fairy and everything else but she has a cousin who is 10 who tells her the tooth fairy doesn't exist. How can I handle this it truly upsets her when her cousin constantly tells her. Any suggestions?

Amber - posted on 11/30/2010

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My son (who's 12) said last year around Christmas time, "Mom, I know there isn't a Santa Clause" to which I replied, that may be so, but I still need his help with his younger brothers and sister, he was willing. Right afterwards he turned and said "Well, good thing there's still a toothfairy." I must have shot him a funny look at that, because his face dropped, and he said "You've been lying to me?" We had a talk, he's ok with it now.

Sara - posted on 11/29/2010

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My kids are 9, 7,5 and 2 and they all know that these are all just "fairy characters" "pretend characters". And they have fun with it anyway. Don't wait too long to let them know. My kids think its great that they can be "santa" for someone else, i.e. stuffing shoeboxes for some child who will not get anything else this christmas or just getting gifts for their dad and me or the grandparents. It is part of teaching them that it is not all about getting, giving should be a part of christmas also.

Gina - posted on 11/29/2010

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Oh also, about a year after I told him, he decided he would believe in santa clause again lol

Gina - posted on 11/29/2010

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If you're ok with it, then I think that's all that matters. The only problem that may come up is if someone at school breaks the news to him, he may be more upset than if he heard it from you. My son asked me if santa was real when he was like 7 I think and I told him the truth. I told him not to tell anyone, but of course he did and my friend was mad at me because she wasn't ready for her kids to know.

Christina - posted on 11/29/2010

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As childeren learn about there is no tooth fairy , santa, and the easter bunny. They do not tell mom and dad that they know the truth cause they do not want to spoil it for the parents. This could be the case. But do not ask him, just in case it is not the case. :)

Christina - posted on 11/29/2010

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OOOO that is so cute. My daughter is 17 going on 18 year and still beleaves in santa. Years ago she saw a red blinking light in ght sky. " Mom look that santa " I did not see it but she did. But she knows mom is the one that put the gifts under the tree.

Tanyanika - posted on 11/27/2010

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I say, enjoy the innocence as long as you can. For the simple fact that he chooses to continue to believe is refreshing. I know that there are a lot of kids his age that probably teases him for believing, but he shows indepence in thinking different from the crowd.
When he no longer believes he will tell you.

Karen - posted on 11/24/2010

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Growing up my folks never made a big deal out of "breaking the news", things just naturally evolved. I don't think you need to make a big deal, just let him handle it as he feels best - kids will adjust when they are ready. I know that I had my wisdom teeth out in College and it was a horrible experience. I informed the "Tooth Fairy" that I felt that I needed to be compensated for my pain and suffering. Wouldn't you know it, I ended up with "big bucks" ($20 or so)! We still laugh about it to this day. I'm not sure who got a bigger kick out of that, me or the Tooth Fairy - I think my folks liked the idea that I still needed them, even at that age. So, don't make a big deal and let him handle it as he is ready. As long as it isn't hurting anyone, who cares how long he "believes"?

Rebeca - posted on 11/23/2010

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Kids need things to believe in. It is one of those in your heart. In my family we always tell the kids as long as you believe in Santa he is real and if you think about it in a way they all are I mean parents are real and every day we play a role taxi driver, super hero, you get the point so let him believe a little longer and then you just turn it into They only come if you believe in your heart type of thing.

Angie - posted on 11/23/2010

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My son will be 12 in March also & still believes in the tooth fairy and Santa, as well. I want my boys to stay innocent & enjoy their childhood as long as possible. I think he'll figure it out eventually, when he's ready to grow up. :) I wouldn't worry abt it too much!

Alison - posted on 11/23/2010

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My 4 younger kids all still believe too. My son turned 11 in June and if he doesn't believe he puts on a good act! I figure I'll tell him about the tooth fairy after he loses his last tooth and gets the last visit from her. As for Santa my kids have asked if he is real and I ask them what they think. They tell me what they think and I leave it at that. Our oldest ( my step son) was told by his mother when he was 6 or 7 and that broke our hearts. Nothing wrong with believing when they grow up so fast as it is. The one rule we have is that it can't be ruined for the younger ones, so as long as we have believers in the house the rest of us keep it up too:)

Gina - posted on 11/22/2010

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I have been asking the same question. I also love that my 11 year old still believes....but now her tastes for more and more expensive items are strapping. when I say that she says don't worry I will just ask santa. I know when my parents broke the news (I was 7) I was devestated. I worry about this too. Hope we get some good answers.

Shawn - posted on 11/21/2010

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My 12 year old informed me a couple of days ago that she know longer believes in Santa. We never came out and told her if he was real or not but last year I could tell she was starting to have her doubts. When I asked her how she figured it out she said "duh, Mom, you always know what I want and get some of it for me". We asked her not to tell her 8 year old Sister and she promised she wouldn't. I think as long as they still want to believe in the fantasy, it doesn't hurt anything. Kids grow up so fast as it is, let them enjoy a special time a couple of times a year.

Lashanda - posted on 11/19/2010

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My 5 year old son doesn't really put much emphasis on Santa and the tooth fairy. As long as he gets his toys and his $1.00, he's happy. He never ask questions about Santa or get that excited when he sees him. He didn't even want to take pictures with him one year. I would just let them go until they figure it out on their own unless it get to the point where they are almost grown and still believe. It might be time to break the ice then.

Angie - posted on 11/19/2010

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I agree with Michelle. I doubt that any of my children (17,12,10) believe anymore but we continue to "play the game". There's no harm in that. I have never told my parents that I don't believe in Santa and every year I get a gift from him in the mail ;)

Sherri - posted on 11/19/2010

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My kids still believed at 12 and we decided that they were getting to old and they really were getting tormented at school about it so at 12 we finally told them. Now they are my helpers for their 4 yr old brother.

Shahnaz - posted on 11/19/2010

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Hi my daughter is 7 and knows there isnt a tooth fairy anymore. I guess she figured it out earlier this year but i really wish she didnt. Its a fantasy and its all part of being kids. When he is ready he will find out thru his friends etc and come to terms with it. But u dont be the person to burst his fantasy.

Michelle - posted on 11/18/2010

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let him believe in the fantasy kids need something happy in this dreary world to look forward to, I would hazard a guess that he already knows the truth but isn't admitting it for fear of losing out on the perks of believing.

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