when spanking for discipline do you put over your knee or how and bare bottom or not?

[deleted account] ( 39 moms have responded )

For those moms who think spanking is wrong no need to comment

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Ellen - posted on 07/08/2013

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I spank over-the-knee with my hand on the bare bottom. My daughter hasn't needed to go there yet, but my son has had two sessions on the side of my bed. I think it makes perfect sense to spank on the bare. Why would I not wish to actually see what I was doing?

In both cases, I gave a dozen smacks (age X 2) from cheek to cheek, finishing with three down low where the bottom and legs come together. The spanking stings and reddens the bum, and the tears are real. But my son knew why I was spanking him, and the spankings he got taught him a lesson. If that isn't the object of the exercise, I don't know what is.

Anna - posted on 11/15/2012

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I'm a firm believer of spanking. That is what's wrong with kids now they don't get them anymore. My daughter will be 10 soon and I use a paddle like they have in schools, but not bare bottomed. I make her grab her ankles. She's too big to put over my knee. After a few of those, you won't have to use it any more just the threat of it works.

Michael - posted on 11/27/2013

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I've smacked my daughters bottom she defies me sometimes I've had her over my knee tonite

Ellen - posted on 07/08/2013

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Absolutely excellent answer, Fay! Your comment should be required reading for all new parents.

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Shawnn - posted 6 days ago

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Sheila, you've been told: "spanking" (which is assault) an 18 Year old adult can get you charged with assault, or battery. Spanking a 16 yo is ineffective as well.

You need to learn how to handle your parenting in a more adult manner.

Sheila - posted 6 days ago

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My daughters are 16 and 18.
I did put them over my knee for breaking curfew time a few weeks ago but my 16 year old daughter said after she felt she was going to fall.
She is taller than me and my 18 year old daughter.
If they need smacking again they will bend over a chair.
As soon as I tell them they are having their bottoms smacked they take their skirts and knickers off.

Jan - posted on 06/15/2014

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What else can i do with my son i try everything he only listen to a spanking please tell me what can i do else.

Amanda - posted on 06/12/2014

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As a Psychology graduate I feel inclined to tell you that physical punishment is detrimental to a childs development. You are literally scarring your child mentally. I don't think this will make you stop, but think about what you are doing to your child and how it will effect them later in life, because beating and spanking only harm them and do not teach them a lesson.

Jan - posted on 06/07/2014

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My son only listen to a good spanking what else can i do please tell me Shawnn i don't want to beat him any idea are welcome.

Shawnn - posted on 06/05/2014

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Are you still defending your abuse of your child? methinks thou dost protest too much.

Since you continue to defend your statements, that tells me that you KNOW you could be applying other, more effective methods, but that you would rather just beat the boy.

Unfortunately, you must be in a place that does not advocate child protection, but encourages child abuse, many countries are still in that 'mode'.

I'm sorry for your son.

Jan - posted on 06/03/2014

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My advocate told me that i not beat my son yes i even have the right to spank him so my son gets a good spanking whenever he needs its.

Shawnn - posted on 05/27/2014

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A spanking is 3-4 pops. Not 25 licks on a bare backside. That is beating. Any child advocate will tell you the difference. I got this guideline from my local law enforcement.

Jan - posted on 05/27/2014

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I DO NOT BEAT my son he only gets spankings and i do love him when he is misbehaving he gets a good spanking.

Charlotte - posted on 05/21/2014

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I do believe in spanking but I also believe there have to be limits and restrictions to this subject, both physically and emotionally. First off I will say I was spanked bare bottom until I was 16. It hurt, of course, but after a certain age it became emotionally hurtful. Humiliating. So I brought my 4 children up with the occasional spanking but NEVER bare bottom, and I NEVER did it out of anger or to embarrass them. I think that's the important factor in spankings. Its a punishment not a means to take your anger out on them for what they did wrong.

Shawnn - posted on 05/21/2014

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No child needs to be beaten. Period. Beating on a bare backside for 25 licks is abuse. Period.

Learn to verbalize. Learn to address the situation appropriately, because it is QUITE OBVIOUS that your beatings are accomplishing nothing, except to potentially turn your child away from you entirely.

Hopefully someone in your area realizes that you are beating your child and turns you in to protective services.

Janijpma - posted on 05/21/2014

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No its not abuse my son needs a good punishment he is misbehaving very badly sometimes and yes i give him 25 swats on his bare bottom he needs it Shawnn

Shawnn - posted on 05/19/2014

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Oh for christ's sake...If you cannot verbalize with your TEN YEAR OLD, I think there's a friggin problem

How many of you have TRIED anything other than spanking as a punishment?

And, I'm sorry, but TWENTY FIVE swats on a bare butt? That is abuse. That is not spanking. Spanking is, at most 3, MAYBE 5 swats. Your point is across by that time. Anything else is excessive punishment, and I'd call your sorry asses in every time.

And, YES, I SPANKED IF I DEEMED IT NECESSARY.

NEVER BARE BUTT, NEVER OVER MY KNEE, AND NEVER MORE THAN 3 SWATS.

And my kids are damned near awesomely perfect, in my opinion. They're respectful, responsible, and self sufficient.

Janijpma - posted on 05/17/2014

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Hello Ellen yes he squirms and i give him extra swats for it thank you for your support.

Ellen - posted on 04/26/2014

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For a boy of ten, I'd say that's a good spanking, Jan. I hope he doesn't squirm too much across your lap. If and when he does, you might give some extra smacks right at the top of his legs, right where his naughty backside tends to be especially sensitive. It's actually not a bad idea to spank him there anyway, just to 'punctuate' the punishment.

Jan - posted on 03/17/2014

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Mothers how often do you spank your kids. I spank my son a few times a month.

Jan - posted on 02/24/2014

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I just spanked my son of 10 year old he is misbehaving very badly i have him over my knee today

Jan - posted on 01/11/2014

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I give my child 25 swats on his bare bottom with hand and over the knee

Monique - posted on 12/19/2012

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Do any of you believe in God & the Bible? Whether you do or not the Bible says "spare the rod, spoil the child" I'm a firm believer in both.

Shelly - posted on 11/25/2012

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I've spanked my kids, but not very often. I saved it for those moments of outright defiance, not every infraction. Over the knee works with younger kids; I guess it's a matter of figuring out the logistics of it... I never did the bare bottom - that always seemed to me to bring a sexual element into it, as well as humiliation, which is definitely not what I want. Bare hand for me, clothes on for the kids. And afterwards I always cuddled with my kids to let them know that I still loved them. I also found it be effective only up to about school age. After that there are other forms of discipline that probably work better. And of course, it always depends on the individual child. What works for one may not work on the next. Spanking is already a contentious issue, but done correctly I believe it can be effective. I think the key is to never do so if you are angry, otherwise you will be letting it out on the child.

Fay - posted on 11/20/2012

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All very well saying "take things away", my children dont have things to take away, no laptops, no mobiles, no gameboys or ds's or whatever, we have a family computer and tv, that's it. And some people say "time out", but how does that work if you're trying to get a child ready for school? What's the point in letting them sit in a corner for 5 minutes, when you only have 10 minutes left? To answer the question, yes, I spanked my children, yes I put them over my knee, and yes I did it bare bummed! After a few times of doing it, they knew I would carry out the threat, and then all I had to do was threaten it. I was spanked as a child, given "six of the best" as my dad put it, but i was also given the love that was necessary to reassure me. It's about balance, and finding what works for the individual.

Sophia - posted on 11/19/2012

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Frist thing frist.. hitting is not real discipline. I take things away .. cell phones, lap top, tv, games, no friends over, no no no no no. I say. you want to really make a child get what you are saying put away all his toys. and explain why.

Tracie - posted on 11/16/2012

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Ask yourself how you would prefer to be taught/disciplined and act accordingly. Your child is a fully formed human being, just like you.

Sherri - posted on 11/15/2012

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No never!! One spank open handed standing over clothing. Although we only spank till around 3 1/2yrs old, then they are more than old enough to reason with.

Barbara - posted on 11/15/2012

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I do not approve spanking a child for discipline because this is a violent task and is not teaching a child right from wrong. As a child, I was spanked by my dad as well as my siblings and we all thought that nothing was truly learned only hurt. A child needs to be discipline from time to time but I think it is better to talk it out with your child and have consequences rather than spanking.

Dove - posted on 11/13/2012

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I'm not completely opposed to spanking and have done it before, but I've never put a child over my knee and I would absolutely never pull down their pants to spank under any circumstance whatsoever.

Kari - posted on 11/13/2012

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I don't personall agree with this sort of "discipline", and it seems to be the trend these days to NOT do it....I don't know if you'll get a lot of responses here that you're looking for, just FYI.

Anastasia - posted on 11/13/2012

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not sure on the over the knee or not but bare bottom just causes embaressment and humiliation it will not correct the behavior im not really agianst spanking though i do not practice it myself as a child i was regularly spanked though until i was around 12 and thus i only have my own experiance to draw from.

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