When to Seek Professional Help?

Tracey - posted on 12/08/2010

when you have that feeling that they might need it. Don't wait, please. It helped my Son who has A.D.H.D.

Teena - posted on 12/08/2010

I also have a daughter who is 8 with severe behavioural problems. I tried all the diets, fish oil, counselling with school and pyschologists, early intervention is the key and the behaviour gets worse before it improves. I hate the fact that we are forced to medicate to be able to have a child be able to have reasonable normal life, but I can now have a conversation with her without her hurting herself or the rest of the family and she has finally made a friend at school and our school has been helpful because you need to focus on the positive behaviour and be patient soon they will focus on the positive but you have to be strong and consistent and she has ADHD,OCD,ODD so you need to rephrase what you want them to do e.g instead of go clean your room you need to make chores fun and use what ever works for you Lets clean the room its a race etc Good luck but it not easy and will take a while but you know what is best for you!!

Amanda - posted on 12/07/2010

im not sure what your situation is hunny but if your gut says so go with your gut in our situation with one of our kids at present they need help and we are thinking about getting them all a counceler if we go fourth with adoption plans of my daughter but you are your childs advocate and when your gut and heart say somethings wrong listen to it

Maya - posted on 12/07/2010

I wondered the same thing about my childs behavior. And someone said" you are the mother and if you believe ur child needs professional help then do it no matter what anyone else says." U gave birth to that child you know if something is wrong. Have faith u will do what is right

Lindsey - posted on 12/06/2010

My son is 5 and he doesn't listen to us much. We've been working hard as a family to straighten things out and it's been helping.

Justine - posted on 12/06/2010

If the behaviour is affecting the child or others on a regular basis, then it is time to get help.

The help may not need to be from a professional and counselling may not be the help that's needed. Sometimes talking to a friend who has gone through a similar situation and exchanging ideas for controlling the behaviour can be helpful. Or if the child has a trusted adult they can talk to about their feelings, this can also help.

If this still doesn't work then profesional help may be needed, not just for the child, but maybe for the family. We can affect others' behaviour without even realizing it and it may be a family problem rather than that child's problem alone.

It depends on what is causing the behaviour. If your child's behaviour has suddenly changed without any apparent reason or it started to occur after something happened, then professional help (including an assessment by your doctor) may be needed. They may also just need time to process what has happened (for example with a death or divorce).

How old is the child and how long has this been a problem? Children do go through phases and it may be that this is something that will pass with time. You know your child best. Trust your own instincts about whether something is wrong.

I am a Social Worker with some experience in counselling, but that is not my main area.

I hope this was helpful.

Janet - posted on 12/04/2010

Well, at 3 years old, my oldest daughter started hitting herself and saying "bad girl" whenever she did something she wasn't happy about. When that stopped, she started wetting the bed, then it was back talk, fighting aggressively with her younger sister, disrepecting us (her parents) and her sister, major attitude and finally...this year, having difficulty in school (she's in 5th grade and almost 11). When she was 3, everyone I spoke with about her "temper" said it was probably just a phase. When she started bedwetting, we went to specialists who diagnosed her with a deficient hormone that controls urine production, when she started backtalking, we punished her and took away privileges, when she started disrespecting us, we tried talking to her, taking away privileges, and showing her examples of how we expected her to behave...now that she's doing poorly in school, we have spoken with teachers and her pediatrician, and are finally going to get professional help for what appears to be oppositional defiant disorder. Hopefully, we haven't waited too long.

Lindsey - posted on 12/02/2010

Let me know how that goes please, if you're comfortable.

Amanda - posted on 12/02/2010

I have a son who is almost 7 and he began seeing his bio dad a few months ago and ever since his behavior has taken a turn for the worst. He has outbursts and he's extremely angry with me. He is talking inappropriatley and is lying and manipulating me. I've tried everything from ignoring him, sending him to his room for 5 minutes, telling him we don't talk like that, taking away privelages, having my parents talk to him and even my sister. He won't open up to anyone and when we ask him why he's talking like this he replies, My head tells me to do it, or I don't know. He starts counseling next week, and I'm feeling a bit of relief from it because maybe they can help him since I obviously can't. So I think a child needs counseling once the parent can't control their behavior and can't seem to resolve the problem. Hope that helps

Angie - posted on 12/02/2010

I had my first thoughts of suicide as a young child. I specifically remember telling my mom that I wanted to die for my 6th birthday. Back in the dark ages when I was a child, I was called melodramtic. I was 41 before I got an accurate diagnosis. I wish help had been available to me when I was 6 so that I didn't have to live 36 years in the misery I lived in. If you are concerned that your child is in need, make an appointment and have him evaluated. You have nothing to lose in making the appointment.

Tarina - posted on 12/02/2010

I would say when their behavior is at a point where it impacts someone's safety (especially their own) or keeps them from functioning well in their daily activities, and you have tried all that you can think of. My son has had an issue controlling his emotional outbursts for years, and I thought it was just a phase, it was his age, it would pass... Well it hasnt passed. He has tantrums at school (My son is 9, in 4th grade) any time he has to stop what he is doing to do work or listen. He blatantly ignores his teachers instructions, then gets frustrated and angry at himself when he doesnt know what to do for his classwork. He is distracting to his peers, and occasionally a danger (when his fits gets out of control and he starts to push furniture or stomp his feet around or punch at things). We have tried diets to control sugar, additives, etc... we have tried the school counselor, but that was a joke. At home we have the same issues, only replace teacher with parents and classmates with siblings. We have tried reward systems - allowance, toys, video games, extra computer time... , punishments, grounding, loss of toys, loss of outside time with friends, We have tried just sitting him down and talking about his behavior, why it is wrong, what the correct behavior is... NOTHING has worked. We are beyond our abilities to handle it anymore, and we cant just ignore it because of the safety concerns.
Our state (IL) has a program that evaluates and treats children's mental health and behavioral issues that we have started going to. We are just through the evaluations, working on a therapy to try to counsel him in the right ways to act and have begun taking medicine just today for ADHD and Mood disorders. I spent YEARS trying to avoid drugs, hoping I could fix it on my own... now Im giving this a try, just for a short time, to see if maybe it will help. If it doesnt, hes off them. If it does... thank god. See if your state or county has a facility for these evaluations, they can better help you understand if your child needs some extra help, or if theyre just being a kid.
Its longwinded, but I hope helpful?

Karen - posted on 12/02/2010

It depends on how old your child is and how they are acting. Kids go through lots of stages that can seem not normal to some people. You could call and ask the doctor or google aggression/depression whatever it is you are dealing with in children the same age as yours. You may be able to define wheather its a stage or something more. I'm not a professional. Just a mom of 3 very active kids. 7, 5, and 3. My 7 yr. old is leaving the stage of agression and entering the attitude stage. lol. at least he is using his words instead of his hands. And thankfully my 5 yr. old is picking up on it too.

Lindsey - posted on 12/02/2010

Also, if you are a professional (counselor/psychologist), please say so. Thanks!