when you r kid gets bullied

Sophia - posted on 08/31/2010

My son who is a kind hearted boy to a fault came home, first pretended like nothing happened, but later today revealed that 4 boys in his class was pulling his hooded shirt over his head. He is the only child with a sweet old soul. I emailed the teacher, but it really does upset me that my son just cannot seem to be able to defend or stand up for himself. I am thinking that it would be best if I don't show my frustration. I was wondering what is the ideal way that a parent should talk to their children about the topic of bullying. Thanks.

Lisa - posted on 02/11/2010

i have a 15 year old girl who was getting bullied to. i try to tell her to walk away from it. i know thats not always easy.these kids are spreading rumors that aren't even true. she knows they are not true and that' all that matters.your true friends will believe in you.i also went to the school.things have gotten better.i listen and try to help out any way i can,but they also need to defend theirselves.

Kristi - posted on 02/07/2010

Yeah parents suck these days. You need to talk to the teacher and principal - they will be able to talk to the mom about it and keep an eye on your son. My DSS was bullied and after talking to his teacher and the school counselor, I was able to stop that from happening again. I can't believe first graders are so messed up already....luckily when my DSS went to Jr High he has had much better luck with classmates and hasn't had any problems so far....good luck!!

Jingwen - posted on 02/07/2010

Well.. it happens to my girl too. She was 6 yrs when she was first bullied by her own grade friend. She even got nightmares due to that!
We told her to stand up for herself and pre-amp her childcare centre's principal... she told the bully to pay her should he/she wan to beat/.slap her and got other friends as witness by sharing the money at the end of the week. ...
the bully has since left my girl alone .....

Danielle - posted on 02/03/2010

I would go directly to the board of eduacation if the principal or teacher will not help with the situation

Gail - posted on 02/03/2010

my oldest is getting bullied also but the schools are not helping they say that they have a no bullying policy will why dont they do something then.

Danielle - posted on 02/03/2010

Does your school have in place a no bullying policy that's what i would check into first second you did the right thing by going to the principal and I would tell her and the teacher or who ever was involved in your conversation that this either gets nipped in the bud by them with the other children and their parents or you will be going to the board of eduaction. Ask them if they have seen the news lately 2 months ago 2 eleven year old boys in different states were being bullied and they came home and told their parents but acted as though things were getting better. they tried to take the high road but then they both commited suicide. Before anything drastic like that would sucome your child I as a parent would go through everyone to get some satisfaction and justification for your child. We can tell them to stand up for themselves and they might but that doesn't mean the situation will get any better. Some of the teachers now a days don't want to get involved and it's sad to think that we entrust our precious property with people like that. My son is in kindergarten and on the bus he was getting bullied by a 2nd grader but he was afraid to tell me and waited like a month. I went to the bus driver and it started there he informed me that no one on the bus was an angel. I asked what happened an he said the boy hit my son but when my son went to defend himself it looked as though he was gonna hit the other boy so he said no one was angels so I went to the district transportation office to complain and learned that this child has a great history doing this so I asked what would be done and they said they have tried everything but kicking him off the bus well then do it. It didn't get better so I contacted the principal and she said she'd take care of it Itold her I'd give her a week to do so. So she contacted me and told me she had taken care of it. Come to find out that this child is also a child that has behaivoral problems in school as well and the teachers are afraid of his mother. Well we had openhouse and I asked my son how things were and he said getting better. I saw the child and his mother and the arogant little thug came over to us and said mom this is the lillte boy that I pick on. I said to him that is not a nice thing to do and the mother's response to me was that is how I raise my son if he doesn't like you he can do whatever he wants to make you miserable. well it took me everything not to smack her clear across the mouth so then I went to the school board and told them in the hand book it says you have a 0 tolerance policy for bullying. So the board to care of it and several other parents came up and said their child was a victim of this child as well. So now they will be taking a vote on whether the child can stay on the bus and in regular classes with other kids or needs to go to a private classroom for children with behavioral problems. So I say be your childs voice it might be his only one and you worked so hard for children that we wouldn't want to loose that with our kids. Good luck and charge on.

Nache - posted on 02/03/2010

Be persistent! You are your child's advocate. Had an issue with my 7 yo daughter who had a boy who was constantly throwing things at her, hitting her, pushing etc. We spoke with the bus driver, principal and teachers. The young man was eventually put off the bus. But now we have instructed our daughter that if he starts the same stuff she has our permission to protect herself. And we have told school administrators we have done so. As much as we have raised our daughter to be peaceable, we also believe she has the right not to let someone continually harass her.

Carol - posted on 02/03/2010

Yup, same here too. My 6 year old's come home with a blood red eye twice already from the same kid. The teacher's response is that "boys will be boys" and she adds that my son plays rough too. We're school choicing into this school and I don't want him kicked out for being bullied. My son swears that he doesn't fight and usually he's quite up front about things so I believe him. His teacher is a dinosaur and completely unapproachable. I'm waiting and hoping that it doesn't happen again because I'd really hate to go above her head. I just see her pushing back sooo much.

SHERRY - posted on 02/03/2010

I am in the exact situation. I also have a very passive 7 yr old boy who is being bullied but different kids on the playground. He is also in a Karate class. He takes it and takes it from these kids, had told the teachers a few times, not much is really being done. When he finally fought back just a little, he was the one the got caught and got in trouble. When I went to the school to defend him, I was told kids will be kids. I just don't understand as caring parents how we help our children against kids whose parents don't give a crap. The ones that don't care far outnumber the ones that do. I almost feel like a needle in a haystack when it comes to fighting for what's right for my child.

Cristy - posted on 02/02/2010

My son is getting bullied too and he is 8....he got shoved down a snow hill yesterday at recess time and hit the ice face first..he said he screamed and 2 of the outdoor teachers turned around but didnt come over to see if he was ok ..he ended up going into the nurse all on his own..anyway he got bullied today again..this is after the principil said he would look into what happend the day before. We have decided that if it happens 1 more time we are going to start to teach him how to defend himself...I know to many it may seem wrong but he is being bullied because he is letting them..one good punch will tell the bullies to back off...I guess we are just at witts end with it though since in our situation the teachers have been doing nothing at all.

Angela - posted on 02/02/2010

My child in pre-K is having bully problems. The teacher has been active in controlling it, but my son says that when the boys get out of "time out" they are meaner because they are mad, so he doesn't like to tell the teacher! I especially worry in "after school" when the teacher is gone and the aids are in charge. They seem to be the ones who miss the violence. I walked in the other day and a little girl was threatening another boy with a pair of safety scissors saying "I'm gonna cut you!". I was flabbergasted and took the scissors away from her. She straightened right up, but I have to believe she got that from home!

Kim - posted on 02/02/2010

My son is almost 9 and is having trouble with another third grader at recess. I have given him suggestions about telling her to stop and I have asked for a conference with the teacher. At my son's school all the third graders go out for recess at the same time and this classmate is in a different third grade class. I would suggest talking with your child's teacher first and find out what the discipline procedures are and if they are being followed. At my son's school they have recess monitors and kids who do not follow the rules are given a kind of "time out" for the remainder of the recess. In my son's case it occurs daily, and perhaps with different recess monitors.

Christine - posted on 02/02/2010

It is really important to inform the teacher, principal & make sure they inform the other child's parents immediately. If anything happens again demand that the other child be reprimanded and have it put in his file. Do not however forget to teach your child that he has the right to defend himself and to stand up to anyone acting inappropriately to him, if an authority isn't available to tell at the time then walk away and let them know ASAP.

Courtney - posted on 02/02/2010

I can't begin to imagine how upset that must make you. I would be pissed too. I can tell you I'd be at the school too, and I wouldn't stop till they did something. There is suppose to be a 0 tolerance policy everywhere!! But sometimes they try to let things slide. I wouldn't even let it for a second. In TN we also have a new policy that if your child is afraid, has been bullied, hurt etc. you have the right to move him/her to another school of in your county. I know that might be hard if he rides the bus but, I'm sure you'd do just about anything to keep him from suffering the hands of these bullies. Its so sad that kids are like that so young too! Good luck!

Ellie - posted on 02/01/2010

My 6 year old little girl is dealing with the same thing by another little girl in her 1st grade class. I am NONE to happy about it. The teachers complain my daughters behavior during class has become a bit disruptive since she first complained to me about the bully, I have set up an appointment with her teacher. Her grades are all above average for her age.So luckly it's not effecting her grades, but the teacher is going to hear an ear full from me.

Rebecca - posted on 02/01/2010

I have a 13 yr old daughter. Last year in 6th grade she was getting pushed into walls by another girl. I asked her if she told the teachers. She is in Middle School. She said she had. Well it continued and I told her one more time and I will go over their heads. It did and I did. Went to principle asked him what the policy on bullying is. He proceeded to tell me then looked at both my children and asked who was gettin bullied. Dani said her. He told her to come to his office on Monday. He called the girl into office and we haven't had a problem since.
I know it doesn't always work and I too am on overly protective mother. But you can mess with me but DO NOT mess with my kids.
If talking to the teacher doesn't work go to principal. If that doesn't work go to school board. You have options use them. No one but you are your childs protector.

Linda - posted on 02/01/2010

We had a similiar problem with our son last year(7 years old) We went directly to the teacher and the principal..had them document the incidents..it did eventually get better ( the other kid had anger management problems without feeling any remorse for his actions)..so that somehow made it ok..NOT..anyways..the boys were eventually separated into different classes at the beginning of Sept..the problem for us has been a non issue..not sure about how the other boy is with his classmates..it's no longer our problem..the point here..Keep yourself present in the school with the teachers and principal..it will go along way!!!! Good Luck!!!!!

Erica - posted on 02/01/2010

If it's happening in the classroom the teacher needs to keep the children on separate sides of the room. The counselor needs to talk to ALL of the kids about bullying and why it's wrong. Then teach kids how to make better decisions. If it's happening in pe then the pe teacher needs to be a bit closer so they can view what is going on.



Every once in awhile I go to lunch at my sons school and it's amazing what the lunchaids miss (2 lunch aids for 75 kids). I tell the aids or teachers but I wonder how much that really helps.

Lesley - posted on 02/01/2010

I have always told my child to walk away or to tell the teacher on duty if the other child still persists to bother him.....my son is 5 and is in SK....so far he hasn't had any problems...but he has in the past....being pushed and kicked....it's sad that in senior kindergarten that he would have to deal with bullies....but like I said thankfully the problems have seemed to go away for now.....

Gail - posted on 01/28/2010

All of the answers in regards top teaching your kids how to handle the situation are correct. This is your job as a parent. However I encourage you to force your child's school to adopt a zero tolerance policy when it comes to bullying. I love elementary school that 2 of my children go to (as the other has since moved to high school) A few years back we adopted the zero tolerence policy. In September of each year the kids and parents sign a contract as well. In the beginning there were several suspensions handed out. In fact my son was suspended in grade 2 for lifting a girls skirt. I laugh now not so much back then. I also called the girls mother to discuss the situation as embarased as I was. The suspension was 2 days. My son never ever considered anything like that again. Not only did he learn a lesson but it sent a message to the other kids as well. I would suggest you find out when the next pta meeting is and you should attend (if you don't all ready do so ) Bring this up as an important issue and convince the other parents to rally around you and make this policy official within the school. Good Luck

Michelle - posted on 01/28/2010

I go straight to the office and principal and then i give 1 day for it to be taken care of. Then if it happens again i go to the super ,I have a passive 11 yr old and a take it so long 8 yr old, both tell me everything that happens in school and Iam a very protective mother..lol.. So i deal with the problem as soon as they get off the bus.

Bridgette - posted on 01/27/2010

I would be down the teachers and administrators necks and in their faces big time. I would also enroll that child in self-defence, karate etc.He doesn't need to start it but if he finishes what they start they will leave him alone.

Beth - posted on 01/27/2010

We always let our daughter know that she first needs to speak up to the other kids and let them know to please leave her alone or some other appropriate response. We let her know that if they persist and don't leave her alone that she should leave the situation and seek out the teacher or playground monitor or the principal. If she can not find one of these people right away that she should seek one of them out as soon as she can to let them know what is going on. Fortunately we've never had to deal with a busted lip yet - but she's only in grade 2.



At this point I would make a point of speaking with the teacher and if that gets you no where and it continues to happen go to the principal and or the school counselor. With 20+ of the little darlings in each class it can be hard to see what is going on at all times with all the kids and teachers need our help sometimes to address something that may have gone unnoticed.