Why do our children question everything we tell them?

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Candy - posted on 07/28/2010

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They are new to the world and some of us want to learn for our selves. I was talking to my Aunt about my girls. One of them if you tell her the stove is hot she will walk away and believe you. If you tell the other one the stove is hot she is going to touch it because your idea of hot and her idea of hot may not be the same. I was the same way. If someone told me to take A to get to B, I would hit C first just to see if that way was easier or not. To me it makes life fun and interesting. I also think it is good for you not to know all the answers. That is how you teach them to find the answers. They also need to know Mom and Dad arent perfect. I teach my kids Paractice makes Progress not perfection. That way they arent hard on themselves when they dont get it right the first time.

Louise - posted on 07/26/2010

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i was having the same fustration with my 4yr old always asking the same questions even though i had answered countless times - a good mum told me that my son might just be trying to make conversation with me as he was used to the style of our chats he asks i answer - now when i answer i ask - as she suggested and this works for the majority of times - behavior is a bit different

Sherri - posted on 07/26/2010

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My kids are never out of my sight the only time is when my 13 & 11 yr old are at school. That won't be happening. My kids are older and sorry but when I tell them to do something and they are questioning everything it is because they are being disrespectful not because they are just curious about something. Now if my 4yr old questions why the sky is blue of course we will find the answer together. However, if I tell him to sit down on his seat and he just keeps saying why no that is not okay because he is being disrespectful. So I took the question she is asking differently than you did. I took it as why when they are told to do things are they questioning every little thing not that they are questioning things in there environment around them.



P.S. I was sexually abused and my kids have been taught what things are okay and not okay.

Rebecca - posted on 07/26/2010

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@Sherri: that is absolutely TERRIBLE advice.

for one thing, how are they to learn the reasons for things and understand the world if you don't tell them??

secondly, what if an adult whips out their cock and says suck this? sorry to be crude, but this IS the kind of thing that can happen and if children are told to obey adults unconditionally this is more likely. sexual predators are good at identifying kids who have been taught what you are teaching your kids and they target them. you are putting your kids at SEVERE risk with what you are teaching them!!

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Rachael - posted on 07/30/2010

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Hi Kirsten... In response to your question. Was just trying to be funny with my response!!! Thought this was a LOL question rather than a serious one when I read it... Sorry if you took my comments seriously. We have fun with our kids on this one and it only adds to our relationship.

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Rachael - I was a little bit concerned about your comment that our kids must never know we don't know or have an answer for everything.
What if they come back to you with 'that was wrong'? Wouldn't it be better to keep their faith and trust in you and know earlier that mommy doesn't know everything than to have it come as a jolt and possibly lose faith totally?
I'm curious to know the general opinion on this one ...

Eileen - posted on 07/27/2010

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It depends on their ages and their personalities! Hopefully, I've learned the difference between honest inquiry and defiant protests. Mine are teens. It doesn't quit.

Rachael - posted on 07/26/2010

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Because it is their JOB!!! and we get to keep using our brain!!! Make sure you always have an answer, even if it is wrong, they must never know we don't know or have an answer for everything...
;-)

[deleted account]

LMAO Really? You do realize that normal children will question everything you tell them to do from the time they talk to the time you die right? LOL I love this question. It comes as a perfect example of a stressed out or aggravated mom.

Tin - posted on 07/26/2010

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because children are naturally curious of everything...
they always want to hear explanations about everything that comes out of their mind...

Rebecca - posted on 07/26/2010

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because it is your job to teach them about the world. asking questions is a sign of an intelligent child with an active mind. NEVER discourage this. if they keep asking the same question, you need to find a way to say it in their language because they are not satisfied with the answer. if you don't know the answer you should say: 'that's an interesting question and i don't know the answer. let's look it up together!' (you can set a time for looking it up but preferably don't leave it for more than a day.) then you can usually get on the internet and find child resources for answering the question.

lol! my older daughter knows you can find out most anything on google. BUT lol! one night my husband asked her where she put her shoes. she said to him (joking) 'i don't know... look on google!' we laughed and said google doesn't know where your shoes are! she said 'but daddy, you said you could find out anything on google!'

LOL!

Toni - posted on 07/25/2010

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I think it is a natural learning process. We are told no on things and we sometimes question it asa well. I alwaya welcome my daughter to ask questions it keeps her mind active and it isn't just "because I said so". I also don't feel it is being disrespectful.

Sherri - posted on 07/25/2010

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We have a rule in our house that our children are not allowed to question anything an adult tells them to do. So it has put a stop to it as they don't want to deal with the punishments for being disrespectful to an adult.

Stephanie - posted on 07/25/2010

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to understand. I find that if I explain why my son is more likely to listen.

Angie - posted on 07/25/2010

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Asking questions is how children learn. The more creative the question the more your child is thinking through a situation.

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because they are learning a new way of thinking.. and in that new way of thinking, they have to learn about the world, and a big part of that is questioning why things are done a certain way, or why we want them done a certain way.

[deleted account]

Now that is a very good question - and I'm gleaning information for myself from all the answers here too.

Maybe also the question - why do they repeat their question within seconds of being given the answer?

Ruthy - posted on 07/24/2010

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They're testing us ALL THE TIME. Whenever I tell my daughter, don't do this or that, she'll say, but "what if I do this or that? What happens if I jump off a mountain or don't put my seatbelt on...always asking and testing the limits.

Tiffany - posted on 07/24/2010

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Their looking for an answer from you...it's always not the answer they want to hear but it's their way of learning and processing the information. I dread hearing the boys say "but why", but I have realized that they need to know why your telling them not to touch the burners or why a 12 year old can't be out past 9:00 at night. Hope it helps a little bit.

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