why is my 6 year old is so whiny?

Sara - posted on 06/07/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My daughter just turned 6, she whines about everything! she whines when she has to go to bed and i mean cries and whines and the whole bit, whenever i ask her to do soemthing she dosent want to do she dosent get angry or upset she just wines and cries i dont understand.

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Maria - posted on 07/04/2011

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Well. I can relate to this. So let me say this. I have 3 small children with a fourth on the way. I have 7 year old a 6 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. so i have some experience in this matter. my 7 year old tried this last year and now my six year is trying it. here is what i did with the 7 year old to snap her out of it. first I told her that she is a big girl and big girls aren't supposed to whine like little babies. next I told her that if she is going to act like a little baby then i will treat her like one. so i broke out the soothies for her to suck on like a little baby. everytime she would whine i would give her a bottle. i even made her go out in public with these things. then told her people are going to make fun of her because she is supposed to be a big girl. it didn't take much of this for her to stop the whining. I think it was less than a week.

Melodie - posted on 06/08/2011

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She is trying to get her way. I told my kids you can whine all you want in your room. But I'm not going to listen to it. When you are done you can come out. My youngest would go in his room and whine and then come out and say "I'm done" I would tell him to finish what I asked him to do and then he can join the rest of us. I explained to them that they are going to do what I asked. If they do it without whining it will be done so much faster and they can join the rest of us. I also would take stuff away for whining saying now I'm going to give you something to whine about. It took time but in the end it worked, and the whining all the time stopped. They are kids so they do whine from time to time.

Maria - posted on 06/10/2011

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My twins are still going through their terrible two's. They'll be 6 this August. My daughter is a whiner. When they start to whine I just tell them I don't understand whinese. Doesn't help much. They laughed the first couple of times now they just get angry. I spoke to a counselor and she was very helpful. She gave me some suggestions on how to help her control her anger. She told me about this site that had some great articles and also some behavioral charts. It was very helpful. She hasn't stopped completely but I do see an improvement. Hope this helps: http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.c...

Cali - posted on 06/09/2011

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My son is doing the same thing. I call his a drama king, that makes him pretty mad - I probebly shouldn't say that. lol I do tell him though that I can't understand him when he whines, if he want's me to listen he was to talk normal. About the bed time thing I tell him no drama. Seems to work. Good luck!

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OhJessie - posted on 06/15/2011

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One possible technique is first to let her hear how it sounds - say some things in a whine so she can hear it. Let her know to listen to how you're saying it, not really what you're saying. Then when whining starts, explain that you really can't hear what she's saying when she uses that whining tone and to talk to you when she can talk in a more suitable tone of voice.



Looks like others have already said this, d'oh! I should have known.



Why does she? Heh, don't know. It's pretty natural, especially if it's gotten results before. Heck, we all whine sometimes :)

Sara - posted on 06/14/2011

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I fell and sprained my ankle the other day she has been really good the past few days but now is whining about going to the pool. my pain is bad and all she wants to do is complain that she cant go to the pool. i start crying and she says its ok mommy we can go later... then it starts agiain... its taking everthing i have to not snap at her...

Klara - posted on 06/14/2011

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my 6yo tries it too. I just make sure she knows if it continues there will be consequences, then follow through. I also remind her that is not how she gets what she wants. I try really hard to thank her when she does behave then so she knows what I like/expect. I ask her to how old she is and if she is a big girl or a little girl, and remind her if she wants to be treated like a big girl, she has to act like one. Doesn't always work, but rewards for good behavior seem to work the best... Good luck!

Brittany - posted on 06/12/2011

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I absolutely LOVE the charts on the website and I especially love the "behavior bucks". I'm definately going to try this out and see how it works.

Suzan - posted on 06/12/2011

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i think you and i have the same problem. except my daughter is 5 she'll be 6 in august and she never stops the silly whining.I ,know this may sound a bit cruel but i always say to her all the after school activities you like to do well you won't be doing them unless you learn to grow up stop acting like a baby.I know it sounds like bribary but it does work :) especially since she adores ballet and tap classes (her favourite )

Kelsey - posted on 06/10/2011

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The last thing you said about still loving your son. Whenever my daughter and I have an argument I tell her that even though I yell at her or am just mad at her I still love her. I don't ever want her to think that she is not loved. I do love her and she is the great but I guess they just gotta be kids, ya know? :)

Cathy - posted on 06/10/2011

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I can relate. My six year old son was going through a particularly whiny phase. One day, before he started to get whiney, I sat him down and explained to him that if the thing he is whiny about is not optional (like coming with me to get groceries or brushing his teeth, etc) then whining about it would just put everybody in a bad mood and he would still have to do the thing that he was whining about, but everyone would be grumpy while we are doing it. I explained that there are some things you just have to accept, like bathing, coming to the table for dinner, etc and if you do so right away then everybody is happy. I know it sounds a little oldschool and kinda like conditional love. But, I think my son is getting the difference between unconditional love and a grumpy momma by now. He knows he is loved unconditionally, but just because I love him, doesn't mean he doesn't tick me off.

Kelsey - posted on 06/10/2011

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Your daughter sounds like mine. She gets upset every time something doesn't go her way. But yesterday she was very tired and got upset when her little friend was first in the line of riding bikes. I wish I had an answer. Sorry I couldn't help but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I hope you find your answer.

Crystal - posted on 06/08/2011

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Has she always been whiny, or just started? Have you asked her why she acts like that, or thinks its ok? Are there kids at school that exhibit the same behavior? I noticed my son (5.5 yrs old) got really whiny when there was a new kid in his class who was a trouble maker and really whiny. Of course he got the teachers attention, which drew her away from the others. We had a talk with him about how it was not ok to whine, he was a big boy, he needed to talk like one and act like one. It was not acceptable behavior. He could go to his room until he was done and then come and talk to us like a "big boy." I too told them (have a 3 yr old girl) that whining is NOT going to get them what they want.

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