Communication with teenage boys
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Cyndi - posted on 04/05/2009
Most teens think we as parents are just being nosy or want to know everything they are doing so we can try and control them. Teens are struggling with trying to find out who they are as individuals as well as establishing their independence. Try starting the conversation with how your day was. This way they don't feel like they are being interrogated. I have found this to be a great way to get my sons to open up and they seem to open up a little more each time. Don't expect them to just start spilling there guts the first few times and don't try to push it. The less pressure they feel the more open they will start feeling. In the beginning be thankful for the few morsels of conversation and be patient, before you know it they may even start coming to you first!
Hope this helps, Cyndi
Angie - posted on 06/12/2010
I ask very specific questions:
"How was Spanish today?"
"What did you learn in English?"
"Did you meet any interesting people at work?"
"What are your plans for the weekend?"
Usually, this is a good jumping off point for better conversations. I've also found that the best conversations happen in the car - for some reason is will open up if I can't look directly at him....
Kris - posted on 09/26/2009
I have had the best conversations just be being there. We do alot of sports so we are always driving to this game or that practice. Turn the radio down and start talking about the game, the team, the refs ( a favorite starting point). Then when theres a need to bring up something do in a general sense. Talk about your opinions, your thoughts about things going on at school, or in town. Ask them for their opinions, I always remind them if they get into a situation or unknown territiory I can be the reason they said they can't or NO. We even talk about what if's. I have talked to my boys about stupid things their friends got caught doing. I let them know that Love is unconditional even when you may not agree or like the decisions made. We have always been open with our kids about what we can afford or what we want to do. Talk about future dreams and plans. Get the know them for their likes and dislikes. Do you listen to their music, watch their favorite movies, go to their events, games and plays, concerts. Let them know you saw them. They will blow you off, but their glad your there.
Lee - posted on 07/21/2009
I agree with both post here. I have three teenage boys who don't mind sharing their days. It didn't happen over night and it started with me making a simple statement like 'I had a great day... ' then use an open ended question. A question that needs more than a no or yes. Keep at it and they will slowly open up to you. The best time I found was over dinner and don't give them eye contact, I have learnt from counselling training that sitting next to a boy (shoulder to shoulder) doesn't make them get defensive. Also join them in their hobbies or help with their homework, and look for the smallest of signs that they are responding. good luck.
Rebecca - posted on 07/11/2009
i agree with Cyndi Corwin's post here i have a 15 yr old and a soon to be 13 yr old and they are all tho 2 diffrent ppls they do the same thing... just be there for them and try to ask how there day was if udont get any where give it a rest and try again later ....but being patient is the key word.... ask ? on so what did u do today ? or how was ur day and if they answer keep talking to them they will come around...
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