All Communities > Moms with Teens and Preschoolers > 18 yr old scared to leave home

18 yr old scared to leave home

Kristin - posted on 03/03/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

Ok I have an 18 yr old daughter who I want to go to college and live in a dorm. We need a break from all of her attitude, but she is refusing to leave!!! 3 other kids at home 9-6-and 2, and she is starting to bully them. How do I get her to go? She says she is scared to leave and doesn't want to live with people because she finds them annoying.at the same time she can't stand us and is MEAN to all of us. Has had issues with anxiety in the past, but nothing like this. (oh and a 16 year old boyfriend to boot) Anybody out there feeling my pain?????

Join Circle of Moms

1 Comment

View replies by

Sofia - posted on 03/09/2012

263

I can see where kicking your daughter out of the house is going to be hard but I think you can still have control of the situation.

#1- it is still your house and your daughter can not be allowed to be mean to you or other ppl in the house. That attitude should have been stopped a long time ago. But it is not too late. Start working on it now. Remember, other ppl wont put up with it and by condoning her behavior you are actually harming your child.

#2 - Give her responsibilities like an adult would have. At 18 she no longer should have a free ride. She should be expected to pay for things like her car, insurance, entertainment, clothes, etc. If you really want to up the antee, I'd ask for some rent money. (see how fast she'll want to move out then lol) The point isnt the amount she is paying, the point is the level of responsibility she is learning.

I think if you start with those 2 things it will help. Also, I understand anxiety is a real medical concern and she should definitely be in treatment for it. However, do not allow that to be used as an excuse for not growing up. Many many children have health issues alot more severe but they grow into responsible, kind, loving adults. One thing has nothing to do with the other.