Anyone have trouble with step-parenting? Husband doesn't get along with my older two.

Silka - posted on 02/21/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I was married for 11 years and had two kids with my first husband. We were married when we were only 19, and had our oldest child when we were only 17. My older two are now 16 and 12. I was remarried a few years ago and have a 2 year old with my husband and we are trying for one more. However I am really stressed sometimes because my husband just can't seem to accept the differences he has with my older two kids. He is a wonderful daddy to our two year old, the kind of daddy that I wish my older two would have had growing up. But most of the time I am pretty much a single parent when it comes to my older two. I seems like everything my older two kids do makes my husband angry, even when it is just normal teen stuff. I tell my older kids that he is just a "two year old dad" and doesn't know how to be a parent of a teenager yet. But I wish it could be easier. Anyone go through this and find a way to blend better?

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Heather - posted on 05/29/2010

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I go through this and honestly it is just something you have to say out loud and pray for the best. my current husband and I have a three yr old and he is rough on my older boys. He loves them but at times I have to tone him down. This causes fights for us but I cannot contain how I see my kids feel. Not to mention my youngest sees this and will begin to use it later...

Silka - posted on 02/28/2010

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Thanks for your reply Heather! I think there is a chance that a relationship may develop between my husband and my 12 year old son, like your situation, if it happens it will be around sports, especially baseball. My husband picks fights with him too about little things that don't really bother me, like leaving his backpack and shoes on the floor of the mud room when he get's home from school rather than taking them straight upstairs to his room, etc. But my husband doesn't say one word of praise to him when he brings his stuff upstairs almost every day now!! He only says something negative when he forgets. Urggg! As far as my 16 year old daughter goes, I think it may be hopeless that they will ever get along. She is too far gone and he can't stand anything she does or says anymore. I have heard of some friend of mine though that absolutely hated their step-dads when they were teens, and now are very close to them as adults. I really hope that happens!

Heather - posted on 02/26/2010

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my husband, adopted my daughter. She was 8 when we met and she is now 16 going on 17 in August. We have one child together. He will be 5 in August. My husband is much better with our youngest.I really do think it is that he does not have patience to deal with the teen stuff. Things that I find not worth fighting about, he will fight with her about. Not closing her door, forgetting to do something. In the summer, he does coach her baseball team. They get along then! But as soon as it is over, it is back to normal. They both love each other, I think it is a lack of understanding on both! I wish I could give you some advice. Maybe an activity that they would enjoy doing together........

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