Family Dynamics

Debbie - posted on 05/29/2012

I have 3 boys. One from birth and 2 from marriage. My husband is 11 years younger than I am so our children's ages very. My son is 30 and people ask if we are brother and sister. The other 2 are 12 and 18. When we are out they always say they both look a lot like me. When we are together with their father people say they look a bit like both of us. I have never had anyone ask if they were his or mine. I think they assume they are ours. The only time the fact that they aren't my by birth is when the 12 year old calles me Debbie. He has always called me Debbie and probably always will (whatever he is comfortable with). The 18 year old calles me mom. When they talk to me is when people get confused. One calls me Debbie and one calls me mom but we act like a normal family. When my son is with me and the boys we usually have my granddaughter. That is when people get very confused. I explain and they still look confused. ha!

Heather - posted on 03/31/2009

My older children are from a previous marriage. I did have a change of heart though bc after the divorce I swore to not bring any other children into that chaos. It is all good now though.

Kathy - posted on 03/20/2009

hi. i have a 13 year old son from a relationship i had with my first love. we broke up after being together 2 years soon after he was born :(. was single for 5 years, then was in a relationship for 4 1/2 years in which we had a baby boy together. he is now 5 1/2. we broke up when he was 2. now i am married, and we have a baby boy together who is 6 months old. the dynamics between my children are great. they all love each other, however my older 2 fight a bit now. my 6 year old loves his step-dad. and so does my 13 year old, but my husband struggles with him. his defiance and disobedience. both of our families are happy for us (sorry to both Christine and Anna). it is my husbands second time around with having chidren. he has 2 grown up daughters and 1 son. also has 2 grand daughters. so our baby is Uncle Jonah. ha ha. life is beautiful. we have our challenges though.

Christine - posted on 03/10/2009

I have 3 sons from my first marriage and a 19 months old daughter with my now husband. The boys are great with their sister, they play with her and protect her. We all get along great. My husband's family doesn't treat us as part of the family at all. My mother in law has not liked us from day one. Her reason is that I have kids already.

Laura - posted on 02/06/2009

Hi. I'm Laura and am also new to the group. I have a 13 year old daughter from my first marriage and my husband and I have an 8 month old son. I started trying for a second baby (with my ex) before my daughter turned two so I waited a long time for my littleman to come along.



Deena- I can completely relate to your comment: "Also becuase I am older I am more relaxed, and have been able to appreciate the little things more. I am a little sad that I missed all that with the first two."

Sandy - posted on 02/04/2009

Hi all, I am new to the group so this is a great question for an introduction.  My now EX was married and had a daughter.  I had a son when we met.  Then together we had our 6 children.  So it is like this  His - girl 25, Mine- boy 21, OURS girl 16, Boy-14, Girl-12, Boy-7, Boys 4 (twins).    I use to bring them all for walks when the twins were younger and people would ask me if I ran a daycare. LOL.    Currently his oldest and my oldest live on their own.  I have all 6 of  OUR kids living with me full time. 

Anna - posted on 02/02/2009

My husband was a widower with a son when I met him. After we were married we had two daughters. Son 15, daughter 8 and daughter 19 months. The challenge we have to face is explaining to our daughters how come their brother has an extra set of grandparents, another aunt and cousins. Even though I try to treat them as family they don't do the same towards my children. I'm not saying that I don't understand where they are coming from, but it is a challenge.

Deena - posted on 01/24/2009

I also get asked if the baby is from a second husband.  But no, I have been married to the same man for almost 25 years.  We had our first two and thought we were done and had a nice family. As we were looking forward to graduation of the oldest and the youngest was heading into Jr High we got the shocking news that were expecting.  It has been kind of fun because I didn't  have any friends with young children when I had the oldest 2.  Now almost all my friends have young kids.  They had fun giving me hand me downs.

Also becuase I am older I am more relaxed, and have   been able to appreciate the little things more.  I am a little sad that I missed all that with the first two. 

Dianna - posted on 01/12/2009

My now 14 yr old son is from a previous relationship I raised him as a single mom until he was 11 then met my now husband. We have just had a baby girl now almost 3 months. I was afraid of my older child resenting the baby and feeling like the odd one out (he now has a different surname than me, my husband, and baby). We are in the process of my husband adopting him, however the process has taken MUCH longer than we anticipated. So far Big Brother has been wonderful with his sister!

Cheryl - posted on 01/06/2009

Also, I am curious for those like myself with older children from a previous marriage, what challenges do you face with that scenario?