Please post your biggest obstacle.

Cheryl - posted on 12/01/2008 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Please share with the group the biggest obstacle or challenge you face raising teens and preschoolers at the same time.\r\n\r\nThanks!\r\n\r\nCheryl

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Heather - posted on 03/28/2009

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Quoting Ashley:


 



I found this quote today that summarizes it almost to a tee: "Teens are just a second toddler stage. They are exerting their independence, but have little cognitive ability to think through to the consequences of their actions. They want to be independent but they still need to know you are right there behind them if they need you. They throw temper tantrums, they are self-centered and they are messy. The only difference is now I can't baby-proof their world."






Anybody feeling the same way?






Oh ME ME ME ...



Our kiddos are 13, 10, 7, 3, and 10 mos.   And while many days I am blessed by the helpfulness of my 13 yo, somedays my head just swims at some of the things she does. :-)   And Mommy Guilt does get me from time to time.  I want to give each one of my kids 100%,  but I feel like I fall short many days, there are after all 5 of them and only one of me.



 



Also, our 3 year old and 10month old are beginning to hate  thier car seats ... but the older three have activities that they need to be chauffered to ... Ahhh they plight of being the younger ones

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Christie - posted on 04/27/2009

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I have a son 16, and daughter 14, from a previous relationship and a daughter 4, and boy/girl twins 2 with my husband now.

My 16 year is the best with his younger siblings, he watches them if I have to run out, helps get them to day care etc.. and most of the time without a fight, and they just adore him.

My 14 year old is extremely tough to deal with, she argues with everyone, complains about everything, is rude to the young ones and just about everyone else. But outside the house everyone says she is so pleasant and helpful. I know this is "the age" but her behavior is now rubbing off on our 4 year old. Who is calling her younger brother and sister unappropriate names and and talking about things that she should not even know about.

If any one has any ideas on how to deal with teenage girls please let me know, I will try anything about now.

I am so glad that I found this group... now I know that I am not alone. lol

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WOW all I can say is that I'm glad I found this group because I can relate to everything that has been said here!

Thank you

Marielba - posted on 04/17/2009

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There are several obstacles..I don't know if I can pick the most difficult one!

- finding activities, places to go, etc. that they BOTH like to do (movies are especially hard to find!)

-explaining to each of them why "she can and I can't" for example "Well if I said that to you, you'd be mad, but you laucgh at her!)

-thelittle one thinking she's part of the "big girls" crowd and wanting to be cool, in addition, keeping her AWAY from the big one's friends when they are over, too much exposure!

-the ATTITUDE, it has been very challenging getting my older girl to understand that sometimes, the way she talks to the little one, even if unintentional, is rude and she can't talk to her like she does to her friends



the younger one jsut thinks she's 13! and so far, the 13 year old is generaly calm, well mannered, sweet, helpful, etc.

Anita - posted on 04/11/2009

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Our 17 yo daughter and my husband are banging heads (all conversations turn into a battle), I try to be the peacemaker, and our 3 yo son is stuck in the middle just wanting everyone to 'use a nice voice'.  Is it awful that I look forward (just a little bit) to the times when either my husband is away and it's just me and the kids or when my daughter is out with firends on a weekend night, the 'baby' is in bed, and I have my husband to myself? 

Kathy - posted on 03/19/2009

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wow. love the quote from Ashley. my son is 13 next week, just started high school this year, and by is he testing the boundaries. he is determined to not do his school work and do things he knows is wrong eg. truancy and smoking. i need to be tough with him. so my biggest challenge is staying strong when he is trying to have the power, while i am breastfeeding my baby. man. it's not fun to be yelling at my teen at that time. poor bubba.

Ashley - posted on 03/18/2009

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Hello all! Here I was about to create a "Teens & Toddlers" group and found you all! (glad I browsed the communities first).



I have two step children (18yr girl and 13yr boy) who live with us nearly full time and a 2 yr girl with my husband. The biggest challenge that I have is dealing with the different parenting challenges of the different age groups simultaneously. Toddlers are exhausting and need (but don't want) lots of help learning how to do things and dealing with extreme emotions. Teenagers are exhausting and need (but don't want) help doing things and dealing with extreme emotions. Unfortuantely, the "things" are radically different and doubly exhausting.



I found this quote today that summarizes it almost to a tee: "Teens are just a second toddler stage. They are exerting their independence, but have little cognitive ability to think through to the consequences of their actions. They want to be independent but they still need to know you are right there behind them if they need you. They throw temper tantrums, they are self-centered and they are messy. The only difference is now I can't baby-proof their world."



Anybody feeling the same way?

Michele - posted on 02/25/2009

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My boys are 14 and 5 and my biggest challenge is keeping the peace between the two of them. I frequently encourage brotherly love. For the most part they get along very well. My 5 year old looks up to big brother but at times feels rejected by him. My 14 year old adores little brother but gets annoyed and sometimes wants to get away from him. I love it when my teen bonds and plays with his little brother. And watching my older son read to my younger son is just great. It makes my heart melt to see the two of them together and getting along so well.

Jennifer - posted on 02/11/2009

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My kids are 15, 6 & 4, all boys.  One of our biggest problems is the fighting between all three of them.  We also have the problem of them wanting to grow up to fast and say things they shouldnt because of always being around teenagers.  My two little ones want to be around big brother and in his room all the time and the oldest just cant get away from them fast enough.  I do try to make his room off limits just so he can have a little privacy.

Debbie - posted on 02/07/2009

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Balance!!!! Between my job as a teacher, being there for my teenage daughter and all the drama that comes with that, potty training at the same time...me, me, me HELP

Laura - posted on 02/06/2009

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My daughter is 13 and my son is 8 months old so up to now my biggest issue has been dealing with my mommy guilt. There were so many things I wanted do for my daughter that just didn't work out - from breastfeeding to sending her to private school. And now that I'm older and married to more supportive man, I have been more successful in making some of my parenting goals a reality. I know my daughter has turned out to be a great kid and I don't think anything I did or didn't do with her caused her any harm. It's just that whenver I'm able to give my son something I couldn't give my daugther, it's sort of a bittersweet experience.

Anna - posted on 02/02/2009

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Last week my 15 year old had a test to study for and he wanted my help. My 8 year old had a test she had to study for and wanted my help. So I had "mom can you come please" coming from one room, "mom I need help" coming from the other room, me going back and forth from one room to the other and my 19 month old holding on to my leg while I dragged her along with me because she wanted to play!!!!

Ronda - posted on 01/29/2009

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Yes I do see my 11 yr old daughter growing up a little faster than my 16 yr. old daughter did during those middle school years.  I also find myself relying on my oldest to do so much more than the other children.  I was also the oldest out of 4 children and I sympathize with her, but at the same time I am doing the same thing.  The ages of mine are 16, 11, 5, 2 and on top of all that I do work full-time and am in graduate school.  I guess I am trying to do too much, but I often think about how much responsibility I had and I don't regret it now.  My mom also gave me alone time to just be by myself for some portion of the afternoon and on weekends.  It is all about balance....which is so hard to achieve at times.  Just keep on hanging in there!!! 

Cheryl - posted on 01/28/2009

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I have the same problem. My 5 and 3 year old are around my 17 and 13 year old and their friends all the time.  I am shocked sometimes at the things the little ones know and actually understand!  I guess that's just one of the many challenges of having teens and preschoolers.  I am constantly telling my older ones that they have to really monitor what they say and do around the little ones, but it doesn't really stick.  When my 5 year old says freakin, I just cringe!!!!!  Then  I give the "mom" look to the older ones who know they are guilty!!!

Danielle - posted on 01/28/2009

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My biggest obstacle is keeping my just turned 5 year old a 5 year old! I am often left feeling the need to explain the phrases he may use and the rock out symbol with his hands. Oh and I should not forget the teenage additude and expressions.

Any suggestions?

Kimberly - posted on 01/24/2009

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Hi I have an almost 15 yr old daughter from a previous relationship. I also have a 5 yr old son and a 3 yr old daughter. I would probably say that my biggest obstacle was and still is... finding time for everyone doing what they want to do, as well as getting the regular day to day stuff done... I must admit that I do spend a majority of my time with the little ones, but my teen needs attention too... Just havent quite figured that out yet, on occasion I do stay up late and watch a movie with her or play a game but that NEVER seems to be enough for her, and my littles get me up very early in the morning...

Deena - posted on 01/24/2009

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Yep, sounds like we have a lot in common.  My biggest challenge has been trying to get to the older kid's activities, like basketball, and get the baby on somekind of a bedtime schedule.  I'm also afraid the middle child,age 12, is getting short changed as I go to all the oldests activities and always have the baby.  I am very glad to have found this group.  :)

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2009

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My Daughter is in Kindergarden 2 days a week....so the other days we are running around....Gymnastics, music lessons...Sparks (Girl Guides...I am Canadian)...I try to jam as much in as I can, because she is a very active girl.....at the end of the day, you know the routine....get dinner, bath time....snack....8pm bedtime....then my Son needs me...he is almost 16....by that time I am so done for the day! It is hard....teenagers are hard....5 yr olds can be difficult....they definately do not share any interest......they fight just the same as any other siblings.....I really look forward to bedtime sometimes!....Glad I found this group!

Julie - posted on 01/11/2009

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Sounds like I am having the same issues as the other moms. Homework, dividing the attention and finding things that everyone likes. It can be hard to play chauffer for evening activities for my older son and have to drag my young daughter along. Expecially, when its her bedtime and its snowing out. When the basketball game ends at 8pm and my husband works nights, it gets tough. Once we get home around 8:30pm (after my daughter should be in bed) I still have to contend with homework, night time snacks, bathtime and putting my young one to bed. It wouldn't be so bad if we didn't have to get up in the morning for school and work.

Janette - posted on 12/10/2008

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To Jenie Johnson, about your 13 yr. old hating to go to the Children's Museum: how about bringing one of his friends or cousins, his age too. That's how I deal w/our teenager and it works.

Janette - posted on 12/10/2008

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Our biggest obstacle was that our teen daughter thought she was slick. But after a long time being grounded and many, many talks by EVERYONE she knew, things are better between us. So much so that she wants to go on a double date w/her dad, me (stepmom) and this boy she's talking to that we haven't met yet.

Rachel - posted on 12/03/2008

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My 12 year old needs to do his homework my four year old wants to help and the baby wants to drag the homework off the table.

Sarah - posted on 12/02/2008

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I have a freshman in high school, a 5th grader and one who will be 2 in February. For the most part, it hasn't been too difficult. The baby adores her big brothers and the feeling is shared by her brothers, especially my 9th grader. If my DH and I need to go out, the oldest offers to babysit, they have such a strong bond.

However, both my boys are VERY active in sports and my toddler daughter will not sit still. That's the biggest challenge I've faced so far. The big boys are very accommodating with her, but not so much the other way around, LOL! It's hard for me to enjoy watching them with their activities and keep her corralled at the same time and because I so rarely need a babysitter, it's hard to find them.

~Sarah

Jenie - posted on 12/01/2008

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the difference in activities/what they like to do. my 13 yr old HATES when we drag him to the Childrens Mesume, and likewise, my 2yr hates sitting in a stroller at the go-kart place!

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