What to do about severly direspectful 13 year old daughter?

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Ashley - posted on 04/14/2010




Lisa and Marie are dead on. Hubby needs to know that you and he are a united front for the kids. If he has an issue with you, that needs to be raised in private. Also, more one on one time is very helpful. Maybe have her pick out an activity that you all can do together. Or, if she's like most teens and is too grumpy, you pick. Do it on a regular schedule and form a basis for her to talk to you about her feelings. Its emotionally challenging to be a teenager - all those hormones raging and no experience to know how to deal with life's pressures. Working it out can help and will be more productive than letting all of it loose on you.

Marie - posted on 03/26/2010




I think you may want to also nip the husband in the bud as well , no good comes from a man that disrespects you in front of a child .. not only is it not nice , but he's teaching them what not to do ...can be very damaging to future relationships for them.

Lisa - posted on 09/19/2009




You might also offer her a video diary of why she is acting out so disrespectfully....and allow her to write or video what may be bothering her ...she may harboring resentment or jealously about siblings and may need you deeply to hear her....my 13 can be very emotional and feel totally jaded but conversation and one on one time has helped to let her know we want to understand her and get along and are willing to do our part ....I do agree consistancy in rules and discipline go hand in hand ....but sometimes its listening to what they are not saying or expressing wrongly...

Stephanie - posted on 05/19/2009




Thank you Heather,

I feel like tha could work, I know most of it comes from husband disrespecting me sometimes, and her friends are very disrespectful.So if I can do the contract She may get that im more serious than ever before.

Heather - posted on 05/19/2009




make a contract with her, have her sign the rules that she will be following and the consequence's if she doesn't. to inlcude thing's that she should not do i.e. being disrespectful, tell her what you define as being disrespectful, dont just let her try to figure it out, when they know what is not exceptable then they have no reason for using i didnt know as an excuse. Clear and cut what you want from her and when she signs it.( you may want to make copies ) post it on the frige as a reminder and one in her room on her door and when she breaks the rule: FOLLOW THROUGH, and FOLLOW THROUGH ......EVERYTIME. never give space for her to wiggle past it. Eventually you will be like " you are being disrspectful and if you continue we will go to the CONTRACT. she should give up the fight after about a week when she see's that you are not caving in..Hope this helps

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