Mom Of - posted on 06/30/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
My husband is a Merchant Marine Captain...working abroad approx. 8 months/yr. I've been raising our 2 children (now ages 16 and 12) by myself. We've been married for 21 years. I'm left alone to take care of everything from the house (mowing lawns, shovelling snow, maintenance, cooking, cleaning) as well as, looking after finances, and of course, raising our 2 teen-aged daughters (no walk in the park either). On top of that, I work full-time too.
My husband and I barely communicate. He is stationed in Africa most of the time...working contracts with US Food Aid. Although I know his working environment is very difficult (hot weather, labour disputes, war, etc), I feel SO resentful! We're so distance (in miles as well as our relationship). He telephones one-in-awhile, to catch upon the latest drama in the house amongst the teen girls (stealing each others. clothes, sibling fighting, etc). However, we haven't much to say to each other.
Now, at 45 years old, I feel I'm wasting my life away. When my husband does come home, he's on the computer approx. 15 hours a day, catching up on what he thinks he's missed out on. Although I know he loves his daughters, he doesn't really know them or pay much attention to them. We have no connection any more. We're 2 strangers, living different lives and when we're actually together, it feels awkward. I feel alone and wish I could have someone to share my life with. Am I wrong to feel this way? Although I'm very appreciative of our comfortable lifestyle, it doesn't make up for the lonliness I feel in my heart.
Any other Moms out there going through something similar, I would love to hear from you!